#bottledsalt

[bottledsalt]

There will always be songs that remind me of transcontinental flights. If I close my eyes on a moving train, a piece of me will always return to the past. The airplane holds my secrets and during the strange hours between sleep and jet lag I will return to the miles between us. The ocean is not the only body separating me and you. There will always be words. There will always be things left unsaid and imagined talks at 4am in the morning. We grow together but apart. Distance does not make the heart grow fonder. Distance is a heartache in itself because it proves that all ties can be broken. I can’t ever swim this ocean between us. I can’t lift my heart enough to stay above the water. There are things we will never know and lives we will never live.

[bottledsalt]

Heartache makes a poet out of every sleeping passenger on the train

The light flashes red 4:07am

And you wonder again if the fight is worth it

If the act can last any longer

If it all wouldn’t be easier to just throw our hands up in defeat

But we’re all some kind of soldier in this city

Collecting numbers, defending friends, playing with the melting ice in the whiskey glass

Making dreams out of every pair of eyes that groggily lands in our direction

And my hair is still a mess from the nights we let boys buy us liquid courage only to be drenched with the smell of cheap tequila when their hands shook.

We all laugh too loud to make up for the doubts that greet us in the empty bed at night.

We’re a city filled with people who have been playing for so long that they think the only way to act is to be a smaller version of themselves.

[bottledsalt]

I am knee-deep in the words of other people. And I always skip to the last page before the story barely starts. Maybe some things really are better left unsaid. But even with my tongue tied, I'll still be choking on your name. #thoughtspasttwelve

[bottledsalt]

[bottledsalt]

The light hits 4am in New York City and maybe now I can forget about what I could be doing with friends I might've had in other parts of the world and just be happy where I am, in this moment. At some point, you have to stop searching for the "something more" or you'll never learn to be happy. | #thoughtspasttwelve

[bottledsalt]

You Need to Hear This (Part 3)

You are stronger than you think. You are smarter than you believe. You have something to offer that no one else does, just like everyone else. Who you are and what you do does not need to be defined and categorized. There is no word for this that that you are, at least not in any language I know of. You are a mix of your genes, your experiences, your perceptions, the friends you have, the lovers, the things you've seen and heard, the way you speak, your imperfections that are so perfectly flawed, the way you've been broken and the scars that have healed. The hours, the nights, the songs, the quiet thoughts. You are everything, and you built it all on your own.

[bottledsalt]

Heartache makes a poet out of every sleeping passenger on the train. The light flashes red 4:07am. And you wonder again if the fight is worth it. If the act can last any longer. If it all wouldn’t be easier to just throw our hands up in defeat. | #thoughtspasttwelve

[bottledsalt]

It’s like this - we know exactly what we want. But when it arrives at our doorstep in a slightly shoddier package, or one that takes a little more effort to open, all of a sudden we don’t recognize it. We become addicted to a drawn-out fantasy. We keep barking at the mailman. We keep waiting and get upset when it never materializes. We travel halfway around the world hunting down something that never really existed.