#bottom shaming

[77pink-prin-cess77]

Tops that shame bottoms/make fun of them sound like misogynistic straight men to me idc

[kamalahq]

[stardyng]

Slut-Shaming

Slut-Shaming is the shaming, typically of women for their sexual repute, appearance or/and activity, regardless of it’s authenticity. That’s in reason of the fact that women tend to be frowned upon for being sexually indiscriminate regardless of whether they actually are. While straight men are not shamed for their sexual activities, queer men more so especially bisexual men are. It’s not on the same level as the shaming that’s targeted at women, but it’s still a problem. Slut-shaming has been the most used weapon in politics to regress our fight for equality, and to excuse hate-crimes targeted towards us but the area of slut-shaming that will be discussed is the one coming from queer men that is targeted at other queer men.

Often, people will validate slut-shaming despite it’snocif effects as they don’t know the repercussion of slut-shaming which is why it’s important to know that it keeps the idea that sex is wrong alive while associating it with negative terms like  ‘’indecent’’ and ‘’immoral’’, it affects people negatively as it makes them see themselves in a negative way which only results to a decrease of self-esteem and it ultimately strengthen the negative myths and characteristics of the gay community and sex. That not ignoring that it throws all the years of the queer community promoting sex-positivity into the garbage, it shames us to the point that we can’t even shows our faces in dating apps, it’s one of the many factors that stops making LGBT spaces feel like accepting and inclusive places and it contributes to HIV spreading as methods that are used to prevent them like PrEP and the people that uses them are shamed because ‘’they promote sex’’ While queer men are slut-shamed, it’s not the whole community that is. The ones who are shamed for their sexual activities are either feminine queer men regardless of their sexual role in bed and bottoms regardless of their exterior appearance. Masculine queer men who top can get away with having sex with as much people as they want with no repercussions much like straight men. On the other hand, as ‘’bottoms’’ and ‘’effeminate queer men’’ are considered to be like women, they can’t. Instead, they are portrayed as filthy, disgusting and desperate sluts. That’s because while slut-shaming is social phenomenon that holds a lot of complexities, it’s just something that can be summarized as sexism so most of the negative myths and rules that are associated with the female population also associate themselves with effeminate queer men and bottoms.

Two of the more major reasons slut-shaming exists in the LGBT community is because of stereotypes and HIV. One of the many stereotypes that are attached to queer men are that they are all promiscuous, and many people have a distaste for this stereotype and have an extreme desire to denigrate it so they not only force themselves to not fit into it but criticize everyone who do fit the stereotype and blame them for polluting the community’s image. When it comes to HIV, well, it’s safe to say that since the AIDS crisis in the 80s, gay men have formed an indescribable relationship with slut-shaming and promiscuity. Beforehand, the community was very sex-positive until the AIDS epidemic and the dehumanization that came with it which made everything revolved around the gay community included it’s self-positivity regress by a few decades. Even now, when it comes to HIV, there’s still this regression that’s ever-so-present as some queer folks even starting linking using preventative methods with sluttiness.  However, the biggest reason why slut-shaming exists in the LGBTQ community is heteronormativity and the influences that promote it. We first and foremost live in a society where any type of expression of sexuality that doesn’t fit into the confinement called marriage is a bad and threatening thing. This idea mostly perpetuates itself through heterosexual men, whom are statically the ones most likely to slut-shame and to shame effeminacy. In reason of the fact that queer boys grow up with these men,  these beliefs that they share become instilled into queer men’s minds. That’s why many queer men grow up to believe things like how there is a boy and a girl in every relationship, even queer ones or/and apply many misogynistic things into the community.  

Heteronormativity in general started seeping into our community because of it. So this community which have been fighting together to become equals is also restricted by hierarchies, which put these who fit and follow our society’s heterosexual norms at the top, and these who don’t at the bottom, including these who participate in casual sex. In this hierarchy, these at the top constantly call themselves self-righteous yet harass those at the bottom for fitting with certain stereotypes such as being promiscuous and ultimately blames them for having the community not be accepted or seen as normal by heterosexuals because they don’t fit with these heteronormative regulations. That leads to people who show their faces in dating sites profiles or even just use dating sites and apps being called sluts and whore and leads to people being put down for their number of previous partners. Homophobes tried to tell us since long ago that our sexual attractions and urges are perversions that are twisted, wrong and bad that only halt us from enjoying the traditional way of life, but the queer community didn’t particularly promote it as well since we didn’t have the option to do that. Because same-sex-marriage became legal in many places in the world, queer people started joining into this perpetuation as well, portraying these who don’t line up with it as people who are not only hurting themselves but the LGBTQ community as well. In general, slut-shaming shames every single one of us into silence when it comes to sex and in turn, when it comes to HIV which causes all kind of troubles.  

So here we are, in a place where sex doesn’t inherently mean death anymore. However, it was, and that created mental scars. Scars that twisted themselves and turned themselves into hatred that was targeted towards ourselves, and towards other queer men. Slut-shaming had partly become a manifestation of this scar because it was this easy way to criticize and judge each other. But first and foremost, we have to realize as individuals that we are in no place to criticize how others lead their lives when they aren’t hurting anyone in a negative way as their lives are nobody’s business but theirs. The best solution for this to stop is for people to stop minding into other people’s businesses and realize that we do not have to fit our relationships to the ones permeated in societal pressure that heterosexuals partake in, but rather, do what makes us happy.

[problematiquebitch]

So apparently I'm a girl because I bottom sometimes. Then bitches wonder why tf they single. Like you're not a girl either and you also like 🍆 in 🍑 activities like what the fuck.

[virtualgirladvance]

You sure you're not a bottom? Because you sound like one. A needy, whiney little bottom brat

My primary purpose is to feel the need in any given system. So it really sounds like you're a whiney, frustrated top who can't get some

=3

[lust-sinner]

🥺Could I get a bit of cum sir?👉👈

"The fuck? I don't speak bottom. Go talk to one of my employees."

[turtle-stack]

My fortune cookie is bottom shaming

[happyowlfaerie-blog]

Appreciating Femmes

Femme Shaming (aka 'bottom shaming'). Why are femme lesbians and femme gay men getting such a bad reputation in the LGBTQ community? What is so negative about looking or acting more like the feminine end of the feminine/masculine archetype binaries?