#bottomianos

[penguinmerchant]

Have you heard the good word

I made a little zine!

It is a zine-afied version of this post by @penult outlining all the times Damen was at risk of giving into his greatest desire of having Laurent top him! All artwork is @quelmdn's and everything here is posted with permission.

If you haven't ever made a one page zine before, click below the cut for instructions on how to make your own!

So it's really easy to print this out and fold it and scatter them around your local bookstore even if you are the least crafty person in existence.

Here's a nice illustration I found but it's really easy to find different instructions and even youtube videos. Here's a few pics of the one I made!

Printed in black and white and low quality ink for the best, most authentic zine experience. Let me know if you print one for yourself! And if you have any other ideas that you'd like to see in zine format, drop me a line! I would love to make more of these.

[theyhavemagic]

"Laurent needed to top to be more powerful". No. He needed to top because he wanted to. The Inn Scene Analysis + Comprehensive list of actual reasons why switching would make sense for Damen and Laurent in Captive Prince Trilogy

Part 1. Laurent

Section 1. Laurent In The Inn Scene

INTRODUCTION

THIS ISN’T ABOUT “POWERFUL”. THIS IS ABOUT WANT.

I saw a tweet complaining about how people are "so obsessed with Laurent topping" and that it's wrong to want Laurent to top to be more powerful, as if implying he can't be powerful while bottoming or in other ways. Besides that, I also saw tweets saying how people were glad that Laurent never topped and how he should stay "a pillow princess" for his whole life. Overall, many people seem to fail to understand why some readers actually want Laurent to top.

Well, I'll tell you why. You're right that Laurent does not need to top to "be more powerful" or "manly," as if he can't be powerful while bottoming. He can be powerful bottoming; there is nothing wrong with him bottoming and being powerful while doing so, and he also can be and is powerful in many other ways – emotionally, intellectually, verbally, etc. (Not to mention that one doesn't even have to be powerful if they don't want to). It is not about that. Nobody, at least not me, is saying that Laurent is weak for bottoming and that topping would "fix it."

He needed to top because he genuinely, fiercely wanted it himself. Because that scene after the bath and the blowjob at the inn (Kings Rising, ch. 15), when Laurent thrusted on top of Damen, showed it all loud and clear. Everything you needed to know about Laurent's (and Damen's) true canonical desires. It was not casual, not just a simple small hint. It was intense, overwhelming, romantic, hot, and insanely mutual.

THE INN SCENE

Laurent needed to top because he wanted it. Because he, thinking he was going to die, to die for his love, for Damen, still subconsciously and intuitively chose to push Damen onto the bed, get on top of him, start thrusting against him with his cock, basically imitating topping him, and talk about the First Night and how Damen would be his first, verbally claiming him even before Damen managed to form a coherent sentence.

Some people admit Damen wanted it while still somehow denying mutuality because Damen's feelings were described directly (as it is literally his POV), but Laurent's feelings were explicitly shown through his actions, words, body reactions, and expressions.

He needed to top because he had a desire to, a strong one. Despite not having had such experience before and not even having had a chance to try it in his past, despite his trauma, he still wanted to top Damen. That scene was exactly about that. It was not just about simple grinding and nonchalant irrelevant conversation. Laurent was not thrusting there against Damen in a power-bottom way or a neutral way. He was doing it in a top-way.

It was basically like their "rehearsal" for switching. They were both thinking about it, directly talking about it, and I dare say imagining it (Damen was for sure – as evident in his POV, while Laurent likely did the same). That was their first thought for both of them, when Laurent started thrusting on top of Damen and Damen said "I've never–" and Laurent responded with "Nor have I," instantly adding, "You'd be my first."

Laurent needed to top because while people deny he could want it, he was actually the one who initiated that whole scene. He did it, not even Damen. Intuitively. And then, they shared their mutual lack of experience ("I've never–", "Nor have I"), which was already deeply intimate – just voicing it, even though they both knew it already.

But Laurent did not stop right there. He could've stopped after saying "Nor have I"; instead, he chose to verbally claim Damen as his first one to potentially top: "You'd be my first." It was almost an invitation, proposal, admission of the possibility, but most importantly – an expression of his own wish. Laurent said it thinking he would probably never have a chance to have it despite wanting it, because he thought he was going to die for Damen, and this is beautiful and tragic in a way that required resolution, completion, required for them to get their First Night in their happily ever after, when all the dangers and troubles would be settled.

Laurent needed to top because he, though consumed by his own desire, watched Damen's reactions closely as he was on top of him, and when he saw that Damen's eyes were "showing everything," that Damen was aroused, that Damen was enjoying it too, Laurent was "responding, thrusting against him."

Laurent needed to top because he couldn't stop talking even after they exchanged the mutual verbal claiming/promise ("You'd be my first", "And you'd be mine"). He talked about the First Night tradition ("I thought in Akielos, a First Night was special") knowing damn well what that tradition was about. He didn't need clarification. He already knew the tradition applied to slaves being taken by their masters. He still chose to say it, with all their shared past in mind. It was a very bold half-teasing, half-probing wrapped into his typical witty remark/joke, alluding to their shared experiences of when Damen used to be Laurent's pleasure slave, even with those experiences being partially dark and traumatic for both of them.

But Laurent was almost inclining to the idea of reshaping it, together. Yes, it would simply be hot, maybe to replay something like this, especially since Damen would clearly find it extremely arousing and satisfying, but it would be more than that. Reshaping that shared past. Not denying it, just turning the helplessness and anger and violence into choice and trust and pleasure.

We're getting to my favorite part. Laurent needed to top because he came hard right after Damen verbally yielded to him saying "For a slave it means everything" (it was obviously not about clarifying the tradition for Laurent who already knew it; it was a direct reciprocation of Laurent's teasing/proposal with Damen's own willing surrender). The timing matters; he came right after hearing those words. Damen basically claimed that bottoming for Laurent would mean everything for him, and that wrecked Laurent.

But it was also the way he came – "Laurent’s first shudder came with his first sound, unconscious with exertion, his body driving him." He couldn't let himself come during the handjob just a little earlier and during the blowjob Damen gave him in PG because of his trauma, because he felt exposed being exclusively serviced and touched like that. However, he came like that after thrusting against Damen, imitating topping him, talking about it with him. He shuddered, he let out sounds. He was panting above Damen later, "his body still jerking with aftershocks." The orgasm was pretty strong.

And even there, it was not over. What solidified it all for me was his behavior after. Laurent "turned his head to the side, not looking at Damen, as if too much had been shared." Because it was; it was shared. Laurent felt vulnerable and open after sharing the depths of his desire to top Damen with him, after experiencing Damen lying like that beneath him and watching him feel exactly the same, after having that short but meaningful conversation about shared inexperience, mutual promises, teasing, yielding, and claiming.

Section 1.2 Possible complications and the way through them

IT WAS NEVER ABOUT THE LACK OF WANT

People say he didn't need it. People say he wouldn't enjoy it if they tried switching. But he needed it, he wanted it, and would most likely enjoy it. Yes, the actual switching would differ from that scene. It would possibly arouse some other feelings inside Laurent that could indeed complicate it at first but make the whole switching more profound in the end.

But it wouldn't be due to a lack of desire, and with their level of love, trust, and devotion, it wouldn't be something to block him from doing it forever. I am talking about Laurent's fear of hurting Damen. He'd have to face it before their First Night, but he'd get through it with Damen's gentle reassurance.

CAREFULNESS

Laurent wouldn't want to hurt Damen, humiliate him, or make him feel like he himself felt when he was abused by his uncle. But as I said, Laurent watched Damen's reactions closely even while simply thrusting against him, and he saw that Damen enjoyed it, and he kept thrusting. During the actual switching scene, Damen wouldn't push, put any pressure on Laurent, or make him do it – obviously not. But he would simply show his trust, want, lust, and love that would match Laurent's. And Laurent would do it – not because he'd be pressured, not because "he has to," but because he would want to, sincerely, and their mutual dedication would overcome his initial fear.

TOPPING THE WEAK VS TOPPING THE STRONG

Laurent wouldn't want to become like his abuser by taking advantage of someone weak and unwillingly vulnerable (that is why he would never top a slave, or Damen when Damen was still his slave). But Damen is not weak; he is quite the opposite – strong, masculine, resilient, powerful. A king like Laurent, equal to him. Not his slave anymore. Someone who has power, but also someone who is eager and willing to surrender to Laurent because Damen truly wants it himself, and that would do it for Laurent.

GUILT

Another thing that may surface is Laurent's guilt for what he did to Damen, for what he tried to do to him. It wasn't only the scars and nearly killing him. It was that Laurent tried to arrange a situation where Damen would be raped while drugged. And the forced public blowjob, too. Damen is not holding it against Laurent, obviously. But Laurent may hold it against himself if it comes to switching. But then again, the past would stay in the past – not forgotten, but not stopping them from moving forward either. Laurent already expressed his willingness to reshape their past by talking about the First Night, and if the switching would actually happen, they’d come through with it together.

Section 1.3 Additional points for Laurent

I want you to remember that the main message of this post is that Laurent needed to top because he wanted to (just like Damen needed to bottom because he wanted to). It is the only thing that matters in the end, the main reason. It would be another thing if he didn't. And it is okay if a character or a person similar to Laurent or associating themselves with him does not want to top. Below I provide additional arguments for why Laurent needed to top, but all of them are supposed to be taken with the knowledge in mind that Laurent wants it first and foremost – nobody is forcing him into it "because he has to." There are just some things to add to his already proven desire, and they wouldn't work if he didn't have it.

VULNERABILITY & LETTING GO OF CONTROL

People say we need Laurent to top to see him powerful while devaluing his power when he bottoms. Speaking for myself, I dream to see Laurent topping because it is very precious for me to see him vulnerable – in a good way. In a way where he is willing to open up like that in front of Damen while Damen does the same. Laurent needed to top because it would actually make him feel more vulnerable than when he bottoms, at least during the first time for sure.

He learned to let go of control with Damen and be vulnerable when bottoming, but it would be another kind of vulnerability, another form of letting go of control. The last defense he never knew he had broken. It would be something new and entirely different for him; it would be the simple lack of experience, mixed with his carefulness not to hurt Damen, mixed with the ghosts of his guilt now fading away with Damen's reassurance, mixed with him opening up like that emotionally and unraveling in this new, stunning, overwhelming way.

ABOUT THE POWER

It would be a new kind of power too, yes, but that is not the reason why he "must" top; it's just that it would be there too, and I can't ignore it. That power would be blinding, striking him to the core – the power of trust that Damen would put into him. And that is what would astound him. This level of trust coming from Damen – a virile man who'd never let anyone inside, and never could given his status, and never thought he'd want to until he met Laurent. From Damen, whom Laurent had set up for violation in the past. From Damen, who loves and lusts for him in every way, genuinely – this would literally shatter Laurent in the best way possible and rebuild him again.

ANOTHER WAY OF HEALING

Laurent had spent years feeling like he was broken, unworthy, stained. Yes, he reclaimed his worth on his own and with Damen too; he started to heal his trauma through bottoming for Damen, and it was extremely important and crucial. Listen again and don't get me wrong: he does not "have to" or "must" heal through topping too; he does not have to force himself into it. But he can additionally heal through topping, given his desire. And he would.

THE AWE

Just imagine what he would feel if Damen would bottom for him. No, not in that toxic masculinity dominating way. That's not what I mean. I mean the sheer trust and honest surrender Damen would offer Laurent. Laurent would feel awed, honored even. He would feel reverent, just like Damen feels when he tops him. And he would match the same care, reverence, and devotion taking Damen as when Damen takes him. He would be put into a place similar to the place of someone who abused him, but not to abuse or fear; he would use it to give love to the person he loves the most.

THE RECLAIMING, THE CONNECTION

Laurent was originally put into that role by his abuser, never knowing anything else, never having a chance to try. Eventually, he reclaimed it, and it mattered much. I am not trying to devalue it here – I value it wholeheartedly. I love and appreciate Laurent so, so much. I am afraid that my words may get twisted, which is why I need to emphasize it again: I am NOT saying he "should" top to heal or "should" top because he never tried it before.

I completely understand the importance of how his helplessness turned into his willing choice. How he reclaimed his body and his pleasure through bottoming. How he CHOSE to give himself to Damen. He wanted it, he craved it, genuinely. And he managed to overcome his trauma that restrained his body to connect with Damen in that way and to find love, trust, and pleasure where there used to be pain, fear, and humiliation. It was a very big deal for Laurent, and I am proud of him. He does not "have to" heal another way or try something else. But he can, and he found out that he wanted to – during that inn scene, when he wanted to top Damen, to share their First Night, to connect with him in this new way too.

Part 2. Damen

Section 2.1 Damen In The Inn Scene

Originally, this post was supposed to advocate why I think Laurent needed/wanted to top. But I realized I just couldn't finish it here. I need to cover Damen's side too. It is just as important. I saw posts saying "Damen would never let a twink like Laurent top." I found some switching fics I read underwhelming exactly because they seemed a bit one-sided to me – as if only Damen or only Laurent wanted it, while the other one was just going along with it. It wasn't like that in canon for sure. And I believe you have to deliberately choose to deny this whole chunk of canon text to convince yourself into thinking that Damen didn't want it or "wouldn’t let" Laurent do it.

THE INN SCENE

Damen needed to bottom because he wanted to. Let's go back to that inn scene that holds all the answers we need. Unlike Laurent, whose feelings we mostly see indirectly, Damen's inner world, thoughts, and feelings were always described in a pretty direct way, given that the books were written from his POV. So it was in the inn scene.

Laurent initiated it, the change of their positions. Damen's body and mind reacted immediately, instinctively. "His own desire flared at the reversal." It was just the very beginning of the scene, and Laurent simply getting on top of him like that was enough for Damen's desire to flare up instantly. And the word "reversal" matters; because the scene, again, was not just about grinding; it was like a taste of what the actual switching could be like.

Damen did not only found it arousing but also welcomed Laurent's actions straight away, verbally and physically. He took Laurent in his hand and said "Come on, then," feeling "ridiculously daring to tell Laurent in any respect what to do." Some people claim it would be boring if Damen bottomed. I don't share their opinion, and this little moment strengthened my belief even more. If they switched, Damen would be vulnerable for Laurent, of course, and Laurent would hold it like the most precious thing, and it would be beautiful and not boring at all, not for me. But this moment also showed the potential of the "complete reversal." Damen teasing Laurent while being underneath him, commanding verbally like that, while Laurent's on top. This scene showed it was possible.

He "wondered if Laurent ever fucked anyone in earnest" (If someone still thinks that scene was not about the idea of switching and not meant to show how they would both react to it. They both perceived it exactly like that, from the start). With a jolt of shock, he realized Laurent hadn't, and that, yet again, intensified his desire even more. The "flood of heat" came upon him at that realization. The author continued to describe just how aroused Damen was by the idea of Laurent topping him. The "flood of heat" was now directly tied to the realization that Laurent had never topped anyone before and that Damen would be his first. Damen was aroused as hell by the idea of being the first one who Laurent tops, the significance of it, the trust.

The full segment is: "He wondered if Laurent had ever fucked anyone in earnest, and he realized with a jolt of shock that Laurent hadn’t. The flood of heat that came at that wasn’t comfortable." But "wasn't comfortable" obviously was not meant in a bad way, not in a way that implies he didn't want it, since it would have contradicted literally every other word in that scene.

Even in that passage itself, "the flood of heat" (desire) is stated. And it "wasn't comfortable" just because of how crushingly intimate and strong it was – stunning, surprising, unexpected; for Damen, it was tied to the unguarded intimacy of possibly sharing their first times, to the deepest vulnerability of giving himself to Laurent for the first time while knowing that he would be the first one Laurent ever tops.

That was what led to Damen confessing "I've never–", and Laurent responding with "Nor have I." I said it earlier – they both already knew that about each other. But voicing it out loud like that, in a moment like this, mutually – it mattered; it was a beautiful and important sharing that led to mutual claiming: "You'd be my first" and "You'd be mine."

But what is especially interesting here is that Damen did not say "You'd be my first" right away – or, more like, the author decided to describe his inner world, his perception of what was happening first, before letting him answer. And it made sense. The whole passage is just so perfect and telling I have to quote it whole.

"Everything was magnified, the sensation of Laurent’s cock sliding so near his own, the slow roll of hips, the flush of skin. The heat of the fire was too hot, his palm on Laurent’s flank feeling the muscle’s rhythmic flex there. Looking up at Laurent, Damen’s own eyes were showing more than he knew, showing everything, and Laurent was responding, thrusting against him."

That was how Damen perceived it all. Everything was literally "magnified" for him. Everything was intensified: his emotional feelings, physical sensations. It was described in a very raw, tangible, physical way, which aligned with Damen's observant and physical nature. Laurent's cock sliding near his own, the roll of hips, the flush of skin, the muscle's rhythmic flex on Laurent's flank while Laurent thrusted against him. Damen was taking it all in. All of it was arousing for him, truly.

This passage alone is strong enough to debunk the claims (that I also saw on Twitter) saying that Damen would “only” enjoy switching because he enjoys doing everything with Laurent and it would be “only” that purely romantic gesture out of love. Though it would be romantic, and Damen would want it because he loves Laurent, the inn scene proved his sexual desire was genuine – physical, carnal, not only romantic, not some kind of sacrifice for love or just "puppy love devotion" only. Damen is the man highly connected to his physicality, and in that moment, his physicality was tuned to Laurent's perfectly. And he was lost in it, with "the heat of the fire too hot."

The inn scene is both hot and romantic, just like all their lovemaking scenes are. Damen looked up at Laurent, and his eyes were "showing more than he knew, showing everything." Showing that he enjoyed it, wanted it. That for him it was about something deeper than casual teasing over switching or grinding with no underlying levels. And so, Laurent was responding, thrusting against him. This was absolutely mutual, from start to finish. I cannot say who wanted it more – because they both wanted it equally; they were emotionally and physically in sync; they were thinking about the exact same thing.

And only after that passage did Damen "heard himself say" the "As you'd be mine" line. Even the choice of words in "heard himself say" instead of simply "said" indicated how raw that was, uncontrolled, unfiltered, pure feeling, with Damen being too overwhelmed at this point.

When Laurent said "I thought that in Akielos, a First Night was special", Damen responded with "For a slave it is. For a slave it means everything". Needless to say, in this emotional context, Damen was not simply explaining the tradition to Laurent or implying that it was special only for a slave, but not for him. Damen got what Laurent was trying to do here, what he actually meant behind that dry teasing – alluding to their past. And Damen reciprocated.

Damen surrendered, yielded to Laurent in those words. Damen put himself into the position of that "slave" for whom it would mean everything to be taken by his master, because for Damen it would mean everything to be taken by Laurent. That was what he truly conveyed in his words, using their past just like Laurent to express a deeper message. It was not about actual inequality. It was not about Damen specifically “only” wanting Laurent to take him "like a master takes a slave." It was that Damen confessed what it would mean to him, and that was what made Laurent lose it.

Damen's own arousal "spiraled out of control." "Climax hit even though they were not inside each other’s bodies, but joined together, one." Damen came here, in this scene, just like Laurent did. And if you remember, in PG, during their first time, when Laurent was grinding on Damen's lap (and came from it as they touched and kissed), Damen thought about how he himself needed more stimulation to come. Laurent was sensitive, having denied himself such stimulation for years for obvious reasons. While Damen was experienced and sexually active for most of his life.

However, in the inn scene, Damen seemed to have reached climax with little to zero stimulation at all. Sure, he may have jerked himself off in the end and the author left it undescribed, but even the choice to leave it completely undescribed speaks volumes. There is no mention of Damen touching himself. It is possible that he comes mostly just from Laurent thrusting against him, not even inside him.

His arousal is so strong he doesn't need active stimulation, and if he does touch himself and the author just doesn't mention it, the truth still stands – the focus is on how aroused Damen is from all of it – the conversation, Laurent thrusting on top of him, while the descriptions of whether or how he pleasures himself do not matter narratively.

They were not inside each other's bodies, but "joined together, one." Another brilliant line that solidified the mutuality of the scene. Laurent then turned his head, feeling vulnerable. And only after he left for the towels, did Damen return to reality, as before, he'd been completely consumed by the intimacy. "With Laurent gone, he felt the warmth of the fire once again against his skin, and heard the crack and spark of its flame."

Section 2.2 Additional points for Damen

Just like with Laurent, the main argument for why Damen needed to bottom stays the same: he wanted it. And nobody's forcing him into it or saying that he "must" do it. There are additional points, adding to his already evident desire.

CULTURE, MASCULINITY, UPBRINGING

Damen was raised in Akielos – the country inspired by Ancient Greece. In Ancient Greece, apart from places like Sparta, same-sex sexual relationships were accepted only under specific conditions. It was okay for a grown, free man to top but not to bottom. Bottoming was reserved for younger boys, slaves; it was considered something shameful, unmanly, and unacceptable for an adult man of a high social status.

Akielon culture prized masculinity and raw strength. Damen grew up in that environment. As a crown prince, he couldn't have possibly bottomed for anyone – not his pleasure slaves, not regular people, not even his close assistants. Even in the ring, he would simply overpower gladiators who stood no chance against him, and then he’d top them – the victor claiming the defeated.

He may genuinely not have wanted to bottom – but he also couldn't do it, had no opportunity, and I dare say, he couldn't imagine it because he'd simply never met someone equal, someone he would fall for hard, lust for much, and want to bottom for. He'd probably never thought he could meet that someone, but he did.

And as he did, as he was put into the situation and position that provoked those thoughts, his desire flared instantly at the idea. He didn't even have to face some kind of strong internal conflict – not in that scene, at least. Despite his established past behavior, he was swept away by the moment and the feelings it awakened in him, naturally.

VULNERABILITY

Damen, brought up in that already pressuring environment, wanted to appease his father and brother. His brother stabbed him when he was just thirteen, and Damen took it as an honor, as something that would make him stronger, more of a man. Damen needed to bottom because he was sincerely, strongly willing to surrender himself to Laurent completely, in the rawest way. Despite the culture he was raised in, his upbringing, despite all of that traditional virility he holds.

Some argue Damen is already emotionally vulnerable for Laurent (including when he tops him) and that it is enough. And though Damen is indeed emotionally vulnerable for Laurent, bottoming would be an entirely another form of vulnerability for Damen – both emotional (tied to the core of who he’d believed himself to be) and physical.

PHYSICALITY

As I already mentioned, Damen is a very "physical" man, connected to his own physicality, his physical environment, his body, his strength. Imagine what it would mean for a man like Damen to give himself over physically, to yield eagerly, just like he wanted to, knowing that Laurent is just the perfect person, the only person who can hold that vulnerability with reverence and devotion, who can love him through it just like Damen loves Laurent when he takes him. I'd known viscerally that Damen would welcome this kind of unraveling beneath Laurent even before I read that inn scene, because it was always pretty much in-character and aligned with how he viewed Laurent and what he felt for him.

NEW STRENGTH

Damen could also discover a new kind of strength in bottoming, unexpected. Bottoming does not always mean surrender, and it certainly does not equal weak. As proven by Laurent. It's not necessarily about teasing or power bottoming even. It's about finding that new, unique power in it. Power to trust your lover completely, to give and take in equal measure, to let someone you love inside you knowing you're making the right choice.

PAST EXPERIENCES

As we know, before Laurent, he’d preferred women, had female lovers like Jokaste. He slept with men on rare occasions, his experiences limited in comparison. Hard to imagine him as the crown prince bottom or desire to bottom for a male slave or a gladiator he just easily subdued in the ring. Although Damen had always preferred women, the love of his life is a man. In the same way, despite never having wanted to bottom before Laurent, he wanted it with him – and Damen's history only intensified the desire, making it more special. That is why the idea of the mutual First Night feels so meaningful – it is simply deeply romantic to be each other’s first.

SEX, INTIMACY & LOVE

Another theme I need to cover is Damen's overall history with sex and love of all kinds. Before Laurent, Damen had never been truly loved like that – cherished, comforted, taken care of. Laurent had Auguste who showed him familial love. Damen did not have someone like that. He had a cruel, treacherous brother, an ex who betrayed him.

Damen had been sexually active since he was thirteen. No matter the times or his eagerness, that is still very young – and I doubt it exclusively took the form of healthy teen romances with his peers. He was probably doing it with the slaves, growing up around them, trapped in those Akielon ideals of dominance along the way. Yes, he was a boy in his puberty and obviously wanted it in the earnest, but we cannot deny the cultural influence that may’ve also pushed him in that direction.

Sexual intimacy must have been the only intimacy he'd known, but it had never reached the same level of honesty and reciprocation that it did with Laurent. It was mostly just seeking pleasure, and when Damen tried to seek solace through it, to give love (as when taking Jokaste, making love to her), he couldn't achieve that level of true connection, still.

Damen needed to bottom because, though he enjoys giving love overall and through topping, he deserved to be cherished, to receive love like that too, from Laurent, who would want to give it to him. Laurent loves, cherishes and comforts him in other ways already, yes, and through bottoming for him too. This is not the only or mandatory way, but this is the way they both were ready to embrace.

GIVING PLEASURE

And speaking of Damen's known in-bed habits to give pleasure, he needed to bottom because that would be yet another way to give Laurent pleasure, make him come undone, and Damen would be happy to do so, while Laurent does the same for him.

Part 3. The Final Point

THE EQUALITY

And in the end, they reach complete equality. Yes, I will never stop saying that; I will not shy away from the truth – they reach complete equality in every aspect of their lives and relationship when they switch in bed.

And NO, this is NOT about dom/sub stuff at all. This is NOT about bottoming being "less" than topping or "weak." That is completely NOT WHAT I mean. Laurent is not weaker for bottoming. Laurent is not less of a man for bottoming. Topping is not some kind of a milestone he must achieve. Damen topping does not mean he is not vulnerable or trusting or open for Laurent because he literally always is.

Topping does not equal "dominating" and bottoming does not equal "subbing." And when I say they reach full equality when switching, I do not mean they are not fully equal now because there is a "dom" and a "sub," or a "man" and a "woman" in their relationship.

This is not that. There is no dom and sub in their romantic and sexual relationship, even if they don't switch. They are both men (and it's not that being a woman would be less or wrong or equal to sub – absolutely not, it's just that they are men).

By the equality they reach if they switch, I mean that they both GET TO KNOW what it feels like physically, emotionally, and mentally to take your lover and to be taken by him; to be inside your lover, claim him, come in him, pleasure him like that, and to let your lover inside, welcome him, open up for him, give yourself to him. To find power and vulnerability in both topping and bottoming, to express their love in both ways, to connect completely as their sex was always about that – connection, making love. They would both experience it, with each other, and that would make them completely equal.

They do not have to do it. They are not obligated to do it.

They want to do it. They need to do it. And they deserve to do it.

[anonymanemo]

Laurent: I want to fuck you.

Damen: I defs want you inside me.

Fandom: .....yes

Pacat: LOL PSYCH 

Fandom: 

[ahdriking]

Would you consider.. Laurent tied down on a bed and Damen riding him?

Laurent pulls against the restraints, wincing as the rope digs into his wrists. His ankles are similarly bound, tied in soft, red coils, and fastened to the bedposts, leaving him spreadeagled on the bed, unable to pull free if he tried. Utterly at the mercy of Damen. The thought sends shivers down his spine. The helplessness is intoxicating. Liberating.

Damen is sitting by his side, his weight dipping the bed towards him. He is tracing patterns over Laurent’s stomach, watching his face, watching his breathing. He enjoys this, Laurent knows. The rush of power from having someone bound at his mercy, the flood of arousal at the sight of Laurent spread and bound for him. Laurent knows how it feels.

“Enjoying yourself?” Laurent asks.

Damen smirks, cheeks dimpling. “Immensely.”

Laurent tries to close his legs, to at least pull his knees together and shield some of his groin from view, but his legs are spread too wide for that. Damen has unfettered access to his cock and to what lies beneath. The thought sends a burning chill straight through Laurent, pooling in his belly. His cock is hard, has been ever since Damen first started tying him down, and it aches for attention, for Damen’s mouth, his hands, anything.

“Touch me,” Laurent says.

“I am touching you.” Damen’s finger traces Laurent’s navel. Laurent gasps, skin so sensitive it almost hurts, muscles jumping under the touch.

Laurent scowls. “Damen.”

Damen laughs, dipping the tip of his finger inside. Laurent’s entire body jerks, pulling hard at the bonds, trying to twist away.

“Damen.”

Damen bends low, replacing his finger with his lips. The sensation of Damen’s kiss makes Laurent’s cock throb. Damen’s hand runs down Laurent’s side, fingernails scratching just light enough to leave a trail of goosebumps in his wake, teasing all the way down Laurent’s thigh and then slowly, slowly back up. As he presses another kiss to Laurent’s taut stomach, Damen trails a finger up the hard length of Laurent’s cock.

Laurent jerks again, legs instinctively trying to close at the unexpected, sharp sensation of it. He makes a low sound in his throat, and hides his face in his arm. Damen chuckles, and, as though just to torment Laurent, starts to trace the underside of Laurent’s cockhead with the delicate tip of a blunt nail.

It’s too much, almost painful, and Laurent writhes madly. “Damen!”

But he cannot stop Damen, cannot even twist away as Damen moves up the bed and climbs over him, sitting on his thighs and keeping him still. He bends low and kisses trails over Laurent’s chest, lips lingering over dusty pink nipples, laving his tongue over them when they harden under his attention. All the while he teases Laurent’s cock with the tip of a finger, a nail, occasionally dipping down to his balls, the skin there so sensitive it makes Laurent shiver at every touch.

It is a long time before Damen relents, finally, and instead palms Laurent’s cock, soothing the strange itch that lingers after his teasing touch. He thumbs the head of Laurent’s cock, digging his finger into the slit, pearly pre-come leaking out and wetting Damen’s hand.

“You like this.” Damen says. His fist closes around Laurent’s cock, stroking down to the base and then all the way back up, twisting around the head and tightening his grip. “You like being teased,” he chuckles. He meets Laurent’s eyes, his own sparkling with something mischievous. “Maybe I should keep you like this for hours.”

Laurent shivers, the threat making his cock throb, even though that isn’t what Laurent wants. Isn’t what they agreed upon. Laurent tries to buck Damen up off his legs, but Damen is as immovable as stone. “Damen,” Laurent growls. “Fuck me.”

Damen cups Laurent’s balls with one hand. The other strays lower, tracing down the crease of Laurent’s ass, pushing between the mounds of his cheeks. His finger presses heavily against Laurent’s entrance, dry, but Laurent hardly cares. He pushes himself up as much as he can, trying to give Damen more room to press inside.

“I don’t think so,” Damen says. “I had something else in mind.”

He gets off Laurent then, and reaches over to their bedside cabinet for the oil. Laurent stares after him, confused. He had, of course, assumed Damen wanted to tie him down to fuck him, he couldn’t imagine what other thing Damen would have intended to do with him.

Damen climbs back over him, sitting a little higher up on Laurent’s thighs this time. He smirks down at Laurent, pops open the cork on the bottle, and pours a healthy dollop onto his hands. He warms it between his fingers, and Laurent thinks he means to take Laurent’s cock in hand. Laurent tries not to feel disappointed, that after all this buildup Damen only means to finish him with his hand. He keeps his face neutral and watches as Damen begins to reach down.

Except, Damen is not reaching for Laurent’s cock. He twists his body, hand coming down behind himself, and begins to push his fingers inside his own ass. Laurent’s mouth falls open.

“I’ve been thinking about this,” Damen says, his brow creasing at the sensation of pushing a finger inside, eyes fluttering closed. “I’ve been thinking about how your cock would feel inside me.” Laurent watches the movement of Damen’s arm, the pump of his finger in and out. “I’ve been… practising.”

Laurent shudders and closes his eyes, imagining it– Damen lying on his back, knees bent and legs spread wide, reaching between his thighs and spreading oil around his hole, tentatively dipping the tip of his finger inside, frowning at the foreign sensation, biting his lip at the sting of the first stretch.

Laurent feels robbed, that he was denied the chance to witness it, that he was not the first to breach Damen’s hole. He bucks his hips up hard, catching Damen distracted and managing to jostle him forward, enough that Laurent’s cock rubs up between his thighs now.

“Next time you’re in the mood to fuck yourself on your fingers,” Laurent says, grinding his hips up hard, “you will inform me first.”

Damen’s eyes open, pupils blown wide. He must have pushed a second finger inside himself because he growls low in his throat, jaw clenching tight. “Wanted to surprise you,” he grits out. “Wanted to– ah– ride you.”

Laurent feels oil drip down from Damen’s fingers onto his cock. He grinds up into it, rubbing the wet mess between Damen’s cheeks, smearing his thighs. “Then what are you waiting for,” he says. “Ride me.”

Damen removes his fingers, wincing at the sensation of emptiness. He opens the bottle of oil again, pouring more on his hands before he reaches behind himself and takes a hold of Laurent’s cock. Laurent hisses, hips jerking up into the touch. Damen strokes him once, twice, enough to spread all the oil around, to make Laurent slick enough for what comes next.

Damen adjusts himself, moving upwards, raising himself to his knees. He holds Laurent’s cock and angles it up, before lowering himself down. He grinds against it first, rubbing it between his cheeks, making soft sounds when it catches on his hole. Laurent forces his eyes to stay open when they flutter at the sensation. His breath comes hard and heavy, his whole face feels flushed as he watches Damen grind down on his cock like a desperate pet. It’s the most arousing thing he’s ever seen.

“Cock tease,” Laurent taunts.

Damen smirks down at him, eyes hooded. He presses one hand to Lauren’t chest, balancing himself as finally, finally, he begins to sink down.

His body opens almost reluctantly for Laurent’s cock, muscles forced to stretch farther than they ever have before. Damen is so hot inside, so tight, so wet from the oil. Laurent bites his lip hard to stop himself from coming, even just the head of his cock inside Damen’s hole is almost too much.

Laurent has never done this before, never had his cock inside a tight, warm hole, never fucked another in place of being fucked himself. He would be lying to say he had never thought about it, but everything he had ever imagined falls so impossibly short. Being inside Damen, Laurent’s own cock pushing into his lovers body, was perfect. It feels better than it had any right to, so good he feels his face contort in ecstasy, brow furrowing and nose wrinkling, his mouth falling open soundlessly. His breath catches in his chest, he can’t move, he feels paralysed. He an only lie there, bound, as Damen takes him inside his body.

“Fuck,” Damen growls. “Fuck, Laurent.”

Laurent’s eyes fly open, desperate to watch, desperate to see Damen impaled on his cock. Damen grunts, breathing hard, eyes screwing shut. The stretch is painful at first, Laurent knows. He winces in sympathy, but it is hard to feel sorry when Damen’s body feels like this. He wants to soothe Damen, to run his hands down his sides and comfort him with gentle kisses, but Laurent can do nothing. Nothing but watch, as Damen steels his resolve and seats himself on Laurent’s cock with a cry, curling forward and pressing his face to Laurent’s chest. Laurent can feel him trembling.

“Fuck,” Laurent gasps. He is tensing against his bonds, trying so hard to reach for Damen, barely restraining himself from bucking upwards and fucking himself in hard and deep. “You’re so tight.”

Damen groans, large hands smoothing over Laurent’s chest, fingertips tracing over Laurent’s pebbled nipples. “You’re so big,” he moans, his voice almost breaking with each shaky breath.

Laurent preens at that. Smug, he tries to move his hips, pushing up just a little, as much as he can in his bonds, to try and fuck himself inside Damen. Damen chuckles. He sits back a little, groaning low as it changes the angle of the penetration. His brow is creased, little lines etched into his skin. Laurent wants to kiss each and every one, wants to distract Damen from the discomfort, to show him the tenderness he has always been shown, to give him the pleasure Damen has always given him.

“Untie me,” Laurent says.

Damen cracks a lid, looking down at Laurent, somehow managing to look unimpressed, even like this. “But that’s not part of the game.”

He doesn’t give Laurent a chance to respond. All at once he starts to move, rocking back and forth in slow, gentle increments, letting himself get used to the stretch. Laurent grunts, his cock is being massaged and squeezed by Damen’s hole with every gyration, and it feels like heaven. He throws his head back, his thighs shaking, desperate to fuck up but with no leverage to do so.

“Love the way you look,” Damen says. “I love seeing you like this. Feels good, doesn’t it?”

He starts to lift himself up, moving his hips in a circular motion now. Laurent cries out, the sensation of it so good he can scarcely think. The world narrows down to the wet, hot slide of his cock inside Damen, to the wet, slick sounds they make as their bodies connect. Damen makes the sweetest moans, softer and more breathier than the usual grunts of his exertion. It sounds perfect.

He will never be able to get the sight of this out of his mind, would never want to. Damen is like a god above him, all rippling muscle and sweat slick skin, his eyes fluttering as he fucks Laurent’s cock against his pleasure spot, his curls bouncing as he picks up the pace.

Once the pleasure overrides the pain of the stretch, Damen doesn’t hold back. He bounces on Laurent’s cock like a horny pet, uncaring of the obscene sounds they make. He chases his own pleasure, using Laurent to that purpose, and Laurent can only lay there, tugging fruitlessly against his bonds, and feel.

Perhaps embarrassingly, it doesn’t take long for Laurent to come. The pleasure is too much, the sight of Damen too much. He crests with a shout, curling forward as much as he can, keening as he empties himself inside Damen’s body. Damen stills, letting Laurent jerk and spasm underneath him as he finishes his pleasure. He watches, eyes hooded. His hand runs down his body to take a hold of himself, stroking as he watches Laurent come apart.

Laurent is sensitive after orgasm, and being still encased inside Damen is almost too much. He winces, whines a little, to his embarrassment, and tries to pull away. Damen finally climbs off him, Laurent, now soft, sliding out of his body with a wet pop. The mess of tacky oil on Laurent’s sensitive cock is a somewhat unpleasant sensation, but Laurent bears it for now, far too busy on watching Damen as he kneels on the bed beside him, still fisting his cock in his hand.

“Come for me,” Laurent says, voice rasping. “Come on my face.”

Damen groans. He moves closer, close enough that Laurent could probably lean up and take him in his mouth if he wanted, but he wants to feel Damen’s come on his face, wants to feel it dripping down his cheeks and painting his skin white. He closes his eyes, knowing that Damen is close, he opens his mouth and sticks out his tongue. The first glob of Damen’s come hits him on his cheek. He feels it run down, a quickly cooling trail, and when it is close enough his tongue darts out and licks it into his mouth.

Damen curses, still fisting his cock furiously, milking himself of everything he has just to spend it on Laurent’s skin. The sight of it is obscene, and Damen’s cock gives a half-hearted twitch.

He collects what he can with his thumb, clearing Laurent’s eyes and collecting a glob that was running down his forehead. He means to wipe it off on the sheets, but Laurent opens his eyes and sticks out his tongue. He looks at Damen, blue eyes burning, his meaning clear. Damen sticks his thumb into Laurent’s mouth, and lets him lick it clean.

Damen wishes he were younger. In times past, that alone would be enough to get him rearing for a second round.

“Fuck Laurent,” he says, hoarse, as he collapses to the bed beside him. His back aches and his thighs burn, and his ass feels worse for wear, but bliss makes him smile sleepily. He curls into Laurent’s still bound body, resting his face on Laurent’s heaving chest. “That was… That was better than I could have…”

“Indeed,” Laurent says. “Next time I fuck you, I’m going to tie you down instead.”

Read on ao3 here!Tip me/buy me a coffee here!

[ajlovestowrite]

Fanfic for the holidays

Posted a new lamen fic to AO3 last night in a fit of pique.

I've been blocked on my epic fantasy manuscript for almost a solid month -- and channelled all my impotence into some Bottomianos.

Happy Holidays, Capri stans!

My Gift to You

Wintertime in Vere turned the country white and gold. Every castle from Aquitart to Arles glowed with hearthfires shining on fresh-fallen snow. 

Damen would have preferred to spend the season in his own sunny country, where even the harshest winter storm left no more than a bit of frost on the ground. But Laurent’s invitation to winter with him in Vere glowed as brightly as the hearths. 

“Remember our time together in Vask?” he’d murmured into Damen’s ear, inviting. “I will keep you warm.”

So that season, Damen found himself sheathed in wool and swaddled in furs, shivering on a balcony. 

Below, the court rode past in a parade of lamp-lit sleds as part of the Winterdale Festival. He did his best as King of Akielos to enjoy the revels, saluting the counselors as they came by with cups of warm, spiced wine. Behind him, in the castle where once he’d been bound and chained, the King of Vere entertained their guests in a long evening banquet of roast boar and meat pies.

Damen’s teeth chattered. Even his bearskin cloak could not keep the chill at bay. He downed another draught of mulled wine and searched the bright array of sleds for the last in the procession. Ancel had made a spectacle of himself, crowned the King of Winterdale at the start of the season. His polished sled arrived two hours after the parade started, pulled up to the palace by six white horses caparisoned in glittering blue. 

“Enjoying yourself, lover?” 

Laurent had slipped away from the crush of courtiers to join him on the balcony. The cold touched him only lightly in charming spots of color on his pale cheeks. Damen caught his breath at how the snowflakes dusted his hair. If his own hands hadn’t been so cold, he would have liked to take his gloves off and brush them from the fox-fur waves. 

“How much longer will the revels go?” he asked. 

“Until dawn,” said Laurent simply. A cool flick of his gaze simmered with the warmth that Damen craved. “But we may retire at any time…” 

Below, Ancel had risen from his furs, casting them back to reveal a skintight suit of green velvet. A cheer erupted from the crowd as the King of Winterdale swept down from his sled to toss handfuls of brightly wrapped sweets. He flung a few up toward the balcony, causing Damen to laugh as the treats bounced from the balustrade.

“Come inside if you’re too cold.” 

Laurent slid an arm beneath Damen’s. A proprietary touch. Damen felt his fingers curl beneath the fur, seeking firm, hard muscle. 

Unexpected. Laurent wasn’t one to paw at him, even in his neediest, most vulnerable moments. But something about the cold and the way that Damen must look brought a heat to Laurent’s face. Something rare and enticing.

He slid his hand down Laurent’s back. “Take me to bed.”

They’d discussed this once or twice in halting heavy voices. Damen still could not quite imagine it. Laurent, astride, his face flushed with pleasure. His cock was not between them but deep inside, where neither of them had been. 

Damen drank more wine. Not enough to dull or drunken, but the amount that brought on languor. He forewent the customary chalis — this was no stranger he gave himself to. Laurent alone was all the aphrodisiac Damen needed. 

He stepped inside their inner rooms. A cosy fire lit the many tapestries. They had a bed big enough for five, draped with heavy velvet. Laurent’s planning warred with his austerity in the little touches added to their one bedside table: Glass phials. Folded towels. A pitcher of water. Little candles everywhere to make the room glow as it had at the inn in Mellos. 

Laurent emerged from behind the dressing screen, nude. He worked the gold cuff on his wrist, a nervous gesture. 

Damen stopped just shy of the bed and unfastened the cords of his cloak. 

“There’s a rack in the anteroom.” An eyebrow arched. “Would you like to go out and try again?”

“My gift to you is anticipation,” Damen said, smiling at his lover’s tell. Laurent bit hardest when he felt vulnerable. “Are you worried I will be disappointed in yours?” 

He watched the column of Laurent’s throat move. The lift of his chin turned dangerous. “Fine — disrobe for me, then. But do it there, by the fire. Where I can watch.” 

Damen chuckled, hopelessly charmed. He walked toward the fireplace, crackling with heady warmth. 

Laurent sat in the winged armchair to one side of it — the one they’d broken a leg on just that summer when Damen bent him over the back of it. He stretched himself out in a languid pose, one ankle hooked over a knee. 

Damen faced him while half-turned toward the fire and began to disrobe the way that Laurent liked. Slowly. He knew the effect that it would have. The sight of Damen unclothed stirred Laurent to violent awareness. 

The tension flared with each exposed limb. Damen drew off his gloves and cast them aside. Then shrugged from the padded jacket worn under the bearskin. He took his time with the laces on his sleeves, pulling the ends with his teeth. 

“Leave your smallclothes on,” Laurent said, a little breathless, when Damen put his hands to his belt. The click of the buckle and leather sounded lewd to his own ears as he unfastened it. Damen bent to peel the trousers off so that they would not take down the tight breeches beneath. From the corner of one eye, he watched Laurent’s gaze shift to the planes of his back. 

Don’t look there, he wanted to say.

The scars of his whipping sometimes stopped Laurent cold whenever they made love. In truth, Damen hardly thought of them. But he knew it was one of many reasons they had not been here before. There would be no way to avoid the sight of them if Laurent took him from behind.

A giddy rush ran down from his head, tightening everything below. Damen caught his breath and pulled his last leg free of the constricting clothes. He stood before his lover, naked but for the loose strip of cloth that ran from front to back and around his hips.

Laurent licked his lips. His own arousal kindled as he ran his eyes up the length of Damen’s naked legs. That perfect tongue lingered outside the mouth as he studied the straining smallclothes. 

He rose from the chair in one fluid motion. One hand extended out, palm up.

“Come here.” 

Damen felt heavy as he came to take his lover’s hand. His awareness strained against every inch of his skin, warmed by fire. Laurent’s own felt silky under his callused fingers. Damen let himself be grasped by the wrist and tugged forward. Laurent drew him close until they pressed against one another. His naked skin sliding over Damen’s clothed arousal. 

He gasped. Questing fingers slid beneath the band around his hips. He looked down into Laurent’s dark-eyed stare, feeling as if he stood at the edge of a cliff. Damen pushed himself into Laurent’s hand, groaning. 

“So eager.” Laurent smiled when he took his hand away. He brought his hands to Damen’s chest, palms circling the hardened nubs. His breath tickled the curling hair when he leaned closer still. “There is time. We have a lot of time until dawn…” 

Lips brushed against his scar. Damen sucked in a breath as Laurent licked and kissed his way toward one of Damen’s nipples. He captured it between his teeth, suckling it with warm, gentle motions of his tongue. 

“Laurent,” he gasped. Instinctively, he put his hands on Laurent’s hips. Had this been any other night together, he’d have turned Laurent’s face up to take his mouth. Long and slow, the way he liked.

But this night was meant for different things. For Laurent to take pleasure in him the way that Damen liked. 

The hands on his chest returned to his loins. Laurent took the band of cloth between his hands and tore it. The slight tug against his cock sent shivers all down Damen’s spine, and he gasped again when Laurent ripped the smallclothes away, leaving him all exposed and standing. 

“Lie down,” Laurent commanded. Damen started to move toward the bed, and Laurent stopped him with a firm hand and a tip of his head at the discarded bearskin. “Right there, by the fire.” 

Damen sank to his knees, quivering. He felt the shift as Laurent moved away — an almost unbearable sundering while Laurent went to take the bedside tray from its place. Firelight spilled across his cuff, and Damen found himself adopting the pose of a slave almost on instinct as Laurent came back and presented it to him.

“Choose.” His breath was barely above a whisper, the tension in him like a knife unsheathed. 

Damen lifted one of the phials from the silver tray. Laurent had chosen three different oils to offer as a means of passage and pleasure. He unstoppered the delicate bottle to the scent of sweet almond oil. All the way from Akielos. 

“You thought of everything,” he murmured, charmed. 

Laurent smiled shyly. He set the tray down and sat beside Damen on the bearskin. His hands slid over Damen’s legs, tentative. 

“I wanted the gift to be something mutual,” he said. His eyes dipped, and the planes of his face tightened. The old repression bubbling to the surface. “It isn’t—I simply… I would not do this if I thought you did not want—”

“I do.” Damen cut him off with a fierce kiss. One hand curled in Laurent’s hair, keeping him close so that their breaths mingled. “I want it, Laurent. Because it’s you and because if not you, then no one. I give you this as you give it to me. My first.” 

Laurent shuddered. His kiss was returned, warm and sincere, before it darkened. He nipped at Damen’s lip.

“Lie back.” 

Damen felt the fur beneath him and the fire just to one side. Laurent knelt above him, taking the open phial to spill a thick stream of oil onto his hands. The first caress of his sweet-slicked fingers sent a juddering breath through Damen. His hips shifted toward the warmth, seeking satisfaction. 

“Laurent,” he urged, entreating. 

“Spread your legs.” 

One hand held him firmly while the other slid beneath, spreading the oil all across his delicate places. The tip of a finger touched the entrance. Damen drew one hot, tight breath. It slid in with decisive intention while the ones around it massaged and stretched. 

He moaned. A sound Damen did not often make, not even when Laurent had him in his mouth. He felt his awareness torn between two places. The slow, maddening slide of Laurent’s oiled palm up and down his length. And the quick, fluttering circles of his finger, coaxing more moans from him. 

He knew how it felt from the outside. That impossible sense of tightness opening. Damen breathed as Erasmus had told him to, calmly and deeply, to steady his nerves. He gazed at Laurent’s face, the lips parted while the brow furrowed. He focused entirely on Damen’s pleasure, eyes never leaving where his hands worked him open. 

“Now,” Damen said, lifting a knee up toward his chest. Laurent’s gaze splayed over him, fixing on the place where they were joined. Where still more joining was needed. “Put it in now.”

Laurent inserted another finger. Damen grunted, digging a fist into the fur beneath him, painfully aroused. 

“That’s not what I meant,” he growled. 

The briefest glance. The smallest smile. Laurent scissored his fingers slowly. 

“I know that, Damen. But you don’t know how big I am.”

That brought a flush to Damen’s face unlike any that fire could kindle. He lay on his back, exposed, aroused, and impossibly shocked by his own inexperience. Some slight, helpless sound slid from his throat as Laurent worked a third finger inside, delving deep to where a hard place tingled. 

“Laurent,” he begged. 

“Now I think that you are ready.” Laurent planted a soft kiss on Damen’s knee as he positioned. Still more oil went onto his hands. Then onto his shaft, flagging slightly from neglect. He stroked himself as he gazed down at Damen, eyes wide and dark. “I will claim you now, my king. I will stop if it hurts. And when you cry, I will kiss you.” 

I’m not going to cry. Damen bit his lip at the very thought. This was where he wanted to be, where he’d dreamed of being ever since that night in Mellos full of the unspoken. He breathed between his teeth, and Laurent eased his way inside the slicked stretch, shifting his leg a little. 

…he felt like more than what Damen remembered. He’d had Laurent in his hands, in his mouth — a pleasing proportion easily managed. But, as a question of scale, the King of Vere was a much bigger man than Damen had realized.

“Breathe,” Laurent hissed. His legs quivered, and his hands ran up and down Damen’s thighs. “You are so tight…” 

He said it Veretian, breathy and low. Damen moaned at the sweet sound of his voice and felt himself parting. Opening. Laurent nudged his way inside with tight, controlled thrusts until Damen felt the brush of his golden hair against his buttocks. 

He’s inside. That single, stunning realization shot through Damen just as Laurent thrust hard in earnest, brushing against that something inside. His cock jumped against his belly, spilling beads of pleasure onto the trail of hair. 

“Laurent,” he gasped, and he was dissolving. Laurent leaned down, giving Damen his full weight when he thrust again. Lips grazed along his arms, his neck. Last to lock against his mouth, the hot tongue delving inside as length at the other end quivered within him. 

“I can’t—I can’t,” Laurent gasped, staring to pull away. “I’ll come too soon.”

“No,” Damen moaned, locking his legs against Laurent’s back. He wound his arms around his lover’s neck and held him tight, clenching around every inch of him. “I want it—I want you, I’ve wanted this for so long…”

Laurent made a sound, some tangled mess of need and defeat. He thumped against Damen hard, skin slapping against skin. The first spurt of seed into the oiled heat drew a startled cry from Damen. A single tear slid down his cheek. 

And Laurent kept his word — he kissed it. Pressed close so that their bodies enclosed Damen’s arousal in delicious friction. The overwhelming sense of tender expenditure washed through Damen as he spent, flooding the space between them with warmth. 

They lay entwined, panting, until the last tremors of their joining faded. 

[linecrosser]

it’s been a while.

(Full picture on twitter or wordpress)