#boy crazy?

[simplyduo]

Good old days with the preteen mags 

[sxngbird]

i've kinda become the person that i didn't want to become.

[alexx-in-wonderland]

blasts from the past.

two men have popped up in the last few months, and i don't know whether to be annoyed or entertained by their reappearances.  first of all let me just say that neither of them is Gent [stop getting all excited guys, not him], but when Gent and i broke up my waxing 언니 Yun J who had also just been through a break up told me that he would be back.  she basically said that they all come back if they are smart enough to realize what they lost, that several of her exes all came crawling back.  i couldn't fathom it then, but i see it now.  looking back, multiple guys i have met here have tried to wedge their foot back in my door, i'm sure some for the right reasons and some for the wrong reasons, and i wondering if that is a bit more common here than back home?  as i told you, one of them was Dimples, but the other is one i've never mentioned before, who i'll call Speed Racer.  

i've become somewhat amused by the thought of dudes trynna sneak their way back into my life, but also a bit indifferent towards their efforts to do so.  i feel like i'm at a place where people can come in my door and say what they want me to believe, but i don't have the heart or strength to truly listen.  i'm so fed up with guys and their parade of "good intentions", each more self righteous than the next, so i will just quietly observe them and they can reveal their true selves to me all on their own.  i can't open myself up like i did before, i'm not ready to take that kind of risk and be hurt like that again anytime soon.

and that's where Speed Racer comes in.  a few months ago, i got a mysterious text in Korean from an unknown guy who's number is saved in my phone.  now, i get a lil carried away when i'm out on the town, mind you, and try to be bff's with everyone and get everyone's phone number [something i am trying to work on ㅇㅅㅇ;;].  so, i figured it must have been some rando person i met ages ago, as i've cut down on the giving-out-my-number-thing.  i ignored the first message, and then a day later dude sends a pic and says "you don't remember me, do you?" in Korean.  i tell him no that i don't and ask where we met, to which he replies, "in a club".  shit.

i used to go clubbing more back in the day, but don't go so often anymore, so i KNOW this is somebody i met at least a year ago.  long story short, he starts texting me every day [all in Korean, cuz he doesn't really speak any English], and he is kinda funny.  he asks to buy me a dinner of 삼겹살 [HOW DOES HE KNOW I HAVE MEAT ADDICTION??] and who am i to turn down free 고기? 

Speed Racer and i meet up, and i vaguely remember him, but not really.  shorter than the guys i usually go for, but in an effort not to be superficial [and not feed into my seemingly self conscious self hate of being short which i guess i only project onto dudes?? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ] i decided to give him a chance.  he is a gentleman and things are going pretty well, until he starts asking a question i can't understand.  i asked him to repeat it several times, and finally i notice a pattern in the sentence, that he says several different ethnicities.  so say in Korean, "i'm black, is that what you were asking?"  and he says yes.  i then asked him if he thought i was white, because it was first on the list of ethnicities he stated, and he looking embarrassed as hell, replies "yes".  

HA!!!!!!!  THAT BOY THOUGHT I WAS WHITE!!!!!!!  i know he is one of many Koreans who have never met a foreigner or travelled outside of the country, but SERIOUSLY???  i don't think i look white at all!!  so at that point, i start cackling with the laughter of a thousand demons, loud as hell in this restaurant for about 5 minutes.  

needless to say, the rest of the evening went on without any other surprise questions.  Speed and i got dessert after dinner, and then he dropped me off at home.  i decided to name him Speed Racer since he likes to race his lil stick-shift car around [that he has nicknamed] like he is in the Indy 500.  i told him to chill out with that stuff tho, so he tried to calm it down when he was with me ㅋㅋㅋㅋ 

that was maybe 2~3 months ago though.  we have been going on dates every few weeks on weekends when he comes into town [he lives in Ulsan], and i felt comfortable meeting him because he was safe.  he is shady as all getout, but he is safe in that:

1. i could totally take him in a fight, and

2. i knew it wouldn't lead to anything. 

he is not the type of guy i could have any sort of future with, so i enjoyed light-heartedly hanging out with him and going on dates.  and setting aside the ethnicity foolery, he was very interested in my life and experiences as a black woman which i like.  one thing that bothered me about Gent was that he didn't really ask questions about that.  he wasn't inquisitive about that specifically unless it came up in conversation from my end.  Cookies on the other hand always asked specific questions about my experiences as well, and how it would relate to our [supposed] future together, especially when we watched "Something New" ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

in the end, Speed Racer and i last met up the weekend before last, but i personally decided it would be the last time.  he has asked/pushed us being  a couple with a title a few times, and i shot him down.  he means well, but he doesn't seem to know how to act like a boyfriend.  he can be a bit inconsiderate, and as i don't really trust men right now, i think it'd be way too easy for him to have a girlfriend in Ulsan and have me be his lil weekend side-piece.  no thanks.  even when i told him about an incident a few days before where i was sexually harassed, he didn't freak out like all other Korean guys i have dated would.  i did not like that, especially considering another guy i recently met flipped out when i told him [more on him in a post soon ㅋㅋㅋ]  only problem with Speed is, i had a talk with him about us being friends and not going on dates anymore, but i have a feeling he is gonna be calling me/trying to meet up again sometime soon.  well, there are definitely worse problems to have in life.

whenever things end with a guy, i figure it's a wrap here, but for some reason some guys contact me out of the blue which is something i didn't really experience much back in the States.  whatever it is, i think Yun J 언니 is right, the smart ones try to fix the mistake of gettin gone.  and to the rest?  i deserve a man better than them, one who can see my value.  on to the next one, right?

and ummm, speaking of next one's, there are two other guys i'll mention soon ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ but spoiler alert: nothing is gonna happen with either of them though.  tell you about them soon~

[alexx-in-wonderland]

the namja march.

as far as my dating life is concerned, there's not much going on here.  two guys have marched in and out of my door.  i doubt they will come back, but i figured i would share since i failed to update you guys as it was happening. guy 1: Distance so the first guy is Bestie's fiance's friend.  this tale goes way back to last fall.  we met when i was still dating Cookies, and to be honest i can't really remember much of anything from meeting that day. i went with Bestie, her fiance Flower Handsome, and their friends to see a Lotte Giants game [haha, of course] and i remember on the way Bestie told me one of Flower's friends who was coming was studying in America for grad school and could speak English well.  i said that was cool, and i remember being introduced but we hardly ever talked at all.  Distance and some of their other friends sat in the row behind us, and he was busy catching up with one of his homies in rapid Korean during the game.  that was encounter one. encounter 2 was several months later, in January when he was visiting again during his winter vacation.  i went to dinner with Bestie and Flower, but instead of going to see a movie afterwards like we originally planned, we instead joined Flower's friends for a drink.  they were chillin at a Japanese bar, and we pulled up some chairs to their booth and chilled.  i was sitting next to one guy, and Distance was on the other side of him.  the 3 of us settled into our own side conversation with getting-to-know-you type questions, but after a while the guy next to me started to join in with the main group's convo again.  Distance continued our conversation though, and kept leaning back to talk to me behind his friend's back.  he started to ask a lot of love life and dating related questions, and commented that he was surprised i didn't have a boyfriend because he thought i was really pretty.  i was dumbfounded, especially because my self confidence was pretty low that day [you shoulda seen what i was wearing ㅋㅋㅋㅋ].  i was really surprised he was still even talking to me. when it was time to leave, we all got up to go, and as he stood up, i realized that he was almost as tall as Flower, who is just short of 190 cm!!  ㅇㅅㅇ  of course being as short as i am, i hopelessly crush on all the tallest guys and was surprised to find that he was much taller than i remember.  things were lookin good, lookin good indeed.  i had mentioned my birthday was the following week and Bestie and Flower said they were swinging by to see me during my birthday night out.  they were all going on a ski trip together, and would be coming back late from there.  another one of their friends also had a birthday event that night so they couldn't stay long at mine.  Distance said he would also like to come celebrate my birthday if it was alright, and i said okay.  i was too embarrassed to ask for his number, so i left it up to him to contact Bestie and Flower.  ugh, should have been more assertive ㅋㅋㅋ  as we were leaving the bar, Bestie asked me who i liked the most among Flower's friends, and i told her Distance.  she said that Flower had asked her to set Distance up with someone when he moved back to Korea, and she wanted to set him up with me.  i told her if i had a bf she should sabotage my relationship so i could get with him, to which she laughed and agreed.  unfortunately the following week Bestie broke her wrist skiing and couldn't come to my bday thing, so all 3 of them were unable to attend.  come spring, one night out to dinner with Bestie, Flower, and Bestie's friend, i asked Flower when his friend would visit Korea again.  he said that he would be around this summer for 3 months, and that he would definitely call me when Distance came.  i insisted that he would have a new girlfriend when he came back, because homeboy is too good to be true.  any chick in the States would snatch him up in a heartbeat [when he visited in the winter he and his girlfriend had just broken up].  lo and behold, my prophecy has come true.  he is back, and he does have a boo ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ if we are ever both single at the same time again, i hope we cross paths.  if it does happen, next time i'll make sure to get his number, and take matters into my own hands.

[shirliyoucantbeserious]

Boys

It's so funny being around teammates that obsess over boys and creepily stare at them and freak out about how cute some guys are. It's pretty funny 'cause usually I'm the ass that tells 'em to leave me alone. Whoops, sorry I'm not sorry. I'm just not that into guys.

[seizethenamjas]

I literally just powdered my nose because someone is stopping by my work.

Wow STN... wow.

[alexx-in-wonderland]

no, for reals you guys.

i am so CAUGHT UP on this boy, Usher style.  okay that was pretty corny, so please disregard, and let me tell you the little tale about who this boy, Night Owl, is.

so i met this guy 2 weeks ago at the . . . . . . wait for it . . . . . . . club.  i know, i know, a poopy place to meet legit guys, cuz all the shady ones are mixed in with em, amirite?  but i did, i met him there.  i owe it all to Lady C, who pushed me into him on the dance floor and lo and behold, we started dancing hahaha.  he's not super tall [don't hit me BiBs, even tho yes i admit he is taller than me in 4inch pumps] but he is handsome and cute at the same time.  we danced for a while, and eventually he asked for my number, so i gave it to him.  i feel like a lot of club guys would scamper off after that, but we kept dancing for a while til the crew were ready to go.  i said i had to go and he kissed me on the cheek.  really, he did~

so since the next day, Night Owl and i have talked on kakao every day.  the first thing he said to me on kakao the first day was not that i have a "sexy body", do i live alone or any of that crap, but instead he just that i have a pretty smile.  let me tell you boys, that is a winner.  and he is that sweet all the time, it's amazing.  he calls me 귀여운 알렉산드라 half the time now, and i freak out every time i see it.  the first few days when i was still trying to gauge if he was interested or not, we were talking and i fell asleep.  i woke up the next morning to find 4 different messages from him at 1-2hr intervals throughout the rest of the night [he went clubbing after work].  the first was about what we were talking about. then, are you awake?  you must be asleep.  sweet dreams.  when i read them after randomly waking up at 7am the next day, he must have checked his phone and saw the 1's disappear because right away he said "u so lovely" in English ㅋㅋㅋㅋ SO CUTE.  i mean, disgustingly cute, and i like more masculine guys normally.  i don't know what we even talk about every day but we message all evening mostly in my embarrassing Korean, and i really really like him.  granted, we haven't met in person outside of a club, but i really want to meet him during the daylight hours and see what's up.  the problem ladies and gentlemen?  he works 7 days a week, nights.  he gets up right before work usually, and works until 2am every day, even holidays.  he's a manager at a restaurant.  whyyyyyyy??!?!?  ㅠㅠ  he promised to buy me 삼겹살 one of these days, but neither of us has a clue when.  especially now with the school year starting, that would only be possible on a weekend, which is when he is the most burnt out cuz that's when the restaurant is busiest.  argh.

for now i guess i will just continue things the way they are and make a feeble and half-hearted attempt to keep my options open.  BiBs said we can go up there while he's working one day [in the boonies] so we can do that in a week or so.  if Night Owl really likes me, he will make an attempt to see me outside of work, and if not i will have to accept that and keep it movin.  2nd scenario is the hardest tho.  i'll keep my fingers crossed for number 1.

crikey.