seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from China
seen from Thailand
seen from Kazakhstan
seen from United States
seen from Russia
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seen from United States
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Shout out to the Finalizer's security team, who saw my post from last night and scrambled the docking bay security camera footage before BR-4DLY could check to see if I was lying about the mynocks.
You can't prove I *didn't* win an epic fight against a swarm of space parasites, BR-4DLY lololol
I'm gonna go bring the security guys some snacks and a lovely "Thank you" note for having my back on this one.
This is the worst possible day.
We drew names for the Life Day Secret Santa.
I got BR-4DLY.
Emperor’s ghost I hate him so much. I think I’m going to cry.
Br-4DLY’s squad found out about my adventures in the oil bath yesterday. They seem to think it’s hilarious.
Some of the younger guys have taken to calling me “Tin Man.”
Joke’s on them. I’ve been called much worse.
Gonna drop off BR-4DLY’s (dirty) socks in the laundry room now that I’ve had my fun.
After I cut out the toes on every other one.
I may not be as big and strong and devoted as he is, but I’m at least six times as petty.
Decided to shave my beard today. Of course, BR-4DLY happened to be in the showers at the time to see it. Now he keeps calling me “babyface” and mistaking me for one of the younger cadets.
Shut up, BR-4DLY. Not my fault I’m aging much more gracefully than you. Maybe if you took a short break from being perfect all the time and tried some moisturizer for once in your life, you’d look less like Jabba the Hutt’s butthole.
Jerk.
So BR-4DLY came into my med bay today with some battle damage, implying he was soooo special because he was a combat trooper and even though it hurt, it was an honor and a privilege to wear the red badge of courage for the First Order. He made sure to let me know he was sorry I was only a handy man stuck on board the ship and would never know what if felt like to fight for our glorious cause. I just let him talk. I know who I am. I am not only a handy man. I’m the guy up at all hours of the night checking system scans so I notice the problem with the oxygen filters in the troopers’ barracks and quietly fix it before it becomes such a problem that alarms start sounding and troops need to evacuate. I’m the guy that notices that wonky panel on the transport shuttle that takes you to your battles and repairs it before you leave so you and your little friends don’t catch fire when you hit the atmosphere.
You may have shot a rebel or two in your time, but it was builders like the ST squad (May they rest in peace) and me that made it possible to blow up the entire Hosnian system. You may be one of the prettier bricks in the wall, BR-4DLY, but I am the mortar that holds it all together.
I knew it was going to happen. I fucking told you. But I was prepared. Had an interaction with one of BR-4DLY’s cronies in the hall today: “Hey, ST-3V3!” “Yeah?” “You’re looking awfully...dapper today.” *high fives and snickering all around* “Damn straight, I am.” Then I adjusted my bow tie and moonwalked away. 🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵 Ain’t no stormtrooper dapper as me! Ain’t no stormtrooper quite so clean! Clean booty, clean feets Clean pits, clean kneeeees! Ain’t no stormtrooper dapper as me! 🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵
