#brain level idea

[jnixz]

Been sketching for my Otto brain idea -- mostly exterior layout and character design (npcs, new enemy types, minibosses and ‘final boss’ ) and its going elegant and spooky. 

Off-putting and Horror Vibes appropriate for this time of the year I suppose

Here’s one of those set of ideas

[jnixz]

Your analysis on Ford's fear of heights and how it works gave me the headcanon that when using the Astralate on himself backfired, he suddenly dropped uncontrollably in his mindscape. This was how he experienced the damage to his memories and the disassociation.

Ahaaa oh nooooo this bloomed a fic idea itself that I’ll expand on, accompanied with an illustration and a bunch of concepts I gotta add to my project pile. 

But ooooooho just the feeling of that stuck on him and painting his experience ever since he used the astralathe on himself. Just associations of height in the environment being something to disconnection and the feeling of something wrong, something hard to reach. Its like the bosses but this time you can’t fight it. Combined that with the presence of water symbolic for trauma for the levels then you got me spinning all kinds of brain level symbolism brainrot.

For now have this writing because I need it written down else it gets lost with my forever wip writings. My apologies for the jumping thought bubbles and messy sketches. It goes off in all directions for a bit but hey thoughts be like that

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Just -- the image of him at his Ranger tower, dark storm clouds blocking everything else on his mind. The trees outside sway like they are waves of a tidal wave, circling the very building his projection would be standing on. The moonlight focusing on the building, representing his hyper focus on just this plan with the Astralathe.

Suddenly the floorboards below him break like ice, as the post explodes out into fragments from the inside. The feeling of falling accompanies him as he fall unconscious and off the bean bag in the real world. While he sleeps he is still falling, and never lands. 

It is quite possible, that maybe because of how much water is associated with this trauma -- when he falls, does it feel like he is falling like Raz does in Tomb of Sharkophagus? (Oh... perhaps, he fell through the same hole in reverse. From Maligula’s tomb and out of the tomb, locking himself out of the truth. In this way, he made himself fall, instead of it him getting caught of guard and dropping with a broken ground underneath him)

(Imagine, imagine, that somewhere in his mindscape there was the Heptadome, completely broken apart and buried along with the Astralathe procedure. Buried along where the truth lies. 

When he is able to gather himself as Agent Cruller, his broken image shows the Ranger tower, because that’s his place of responsibility back then that made him stay. 

It is also something distant that won’t remind him of Lucy. It’s far and off on its own by a cliff. Far from anyone that could help, that he would allow to help, be it agents from the motherlobe or gng/his friends)

Then when he comes wakes, the feeling of heavy exhaustion still lingers even as he may have slept most of the day away. Slowly his mind tries to fix itself, putting pieces back together as it knows it should be, but there are small pieces missing -- cracks that don’t mend. (like an aftermath of an earthquake, cracks forming on buildings near or right on top of the epicenter or a fault line)

Groggily he tries to remember what he supposed to be doing, staring at the Heptadome -- wondering why its so empty --and then everything from the military coming in to ask their help against Maligula comes to him and going to Grulovia and he is suppose to be there, and that he remembers (because that responsibility is one of the things stopping him from just joining Lucy and disappearing). Then he leaves the Heptadome behind, forgetting that there was someone waiting on him in that very room.

(Briefly, during an interview, a whisper inside his head asks why is it called ‘Hepta-’ when it was only Six of them? He never answers, because no one else but them knows the name of that place, and no one bothered to ask.

Or perhaps, he remembers her and everything that happened, but not quite. He buried everything with the Astralathe, so if he still remembered Maligula as Lucy... did he convince himself he killed her? I have a more thoughts on this and man they all hurt if he thinks about it too much. The disconnect must be so real.)

I wonder, what happened after Ford reunited with the rest. How long was he gone? How was he like? What did he tell them? To the media? How did it feel? (Ever since he came back, he feels like he is floating just above the ground. He can gather himself to do what he needs to do but he still isn’t all there. There is a heavy pit in his stomach that never disappears.) 

When he met with his friends, what would be worse? Him saying something but never quite elaborating, or saying nothing just the distant look in his eyes. (Just until what point does he remember what happened?) They don’t seem to shine with the bright vision he had when they were all together.  (She’s gone he tells them, or maybe not. There isn’t any good way to share it to his friends) With the way he is acting that can only mean one thing. I don’t doubt the others could notice something is off. 

(What did Otto do, to try finding something to think about other than the fact he thinks his invention failed and left his friend to deal with it alone? How much did Compton worry, wondering what sort of situation is happening, wondering why it is taking Ford so long to come back? How long did Cassie hope for something, a direction she would be able help more -- comforting Bob who may have not noticed how long its taking because his husband is gone--)

Did they even get a chance in private together before the government, the media, the public asked them what happened? What story did they share? How much did they tell? How much of Maligula’s defeat was a guess on Ford’s behavior or was he able to be somewhat put together to piece something to reassure the public? 

He might have not remember at all what happened, and might’ve deflected on the details from the media. Then when the years go by and he starts really fracturing and drifting, he just went along with what people say happened. 

(I wonder at who made the Maligula tombstone? If Ford made it, then at what point? Right after Augustus but before what he did to himself? Was it a planned along with hiding Lucy? Was it just a conclusion everybody else made and they made an empty grave when Ford wouldn’t share where the body is?)

Ford had to have tried his best to pull himself together, he was the leader, he needed to. He had to have time where he was able to be the Grand Head of the Psychonauts. But as the years go by, it gets harder and harder to be himself.

There are times he is working then disassociates even more. When he comes back, less pieces could be fitted together, and he starts to lose himself each time.

(It’s like an old rope bridge barely hanging on the edge of the cliff, holding on because that’s all it can do. This doesn’t have the adrenaline filling fear of falling, but the dread that freezes you when you know your fear could very well happen. That slow yet persistent discomfort of anticipation, if you will)

I wonder, if Otto immediately picked up that Ford looks like he is drifting off, that he’d need to step up and help him, for everything that they wanted to do with psychic science-- but as another sort of chance for psychics to be viewed in a better light.  The responsibility of a government organization for the safety of people, to make sure nothing like Maligula would happen again. Make up for his failure in there by making sure their future is there to be in.

(How long did they try to look for Helmut’s body? How long did that hope last? That they may only lose one friend and not two. How long did it take, for them to be allowed to grieve?)

There were many things that they had to do, that they were supported to do, they were expected to do. Everything else but heal.

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Anyway, back to concepts and headcanon sharing

If we take a look at Ford’s mindscape during all that before the Psychonauts org has a solid footing focusing on missions, I'm convinced that his mindscape is just a forest, trees warped too tall and stretched out onto the sky. There is a ranger tower at a distance, its stilts looking gangly and precarious. There is a thick mist surrounding the forest and you can’t see the rest of it. You wander around in that direction but it never seems to get closer. (It seems like the Forgetful Forest, but instead of going back, you seem stuck in one place.)

If you ever get invited to the Ranger Tower and nothing seems out of place. However, people that have visited his mindscape before would notice the cracks on the walls, holes that clearly say that this place is missing pieces of itself.  You don’t see Ford anywhere. Each visit the holes get more frequent and the wood starts drifting off, yet frozen in time. 

Too bad, I think, that each time Ford drifts off, the faster people gets ejected out of his mind, so getting there gets more and more difficult. 

Anyway, backtracking a bit, as the psychonauts gets established I think the forest becomes the Motherlobe, with how Ford’s mind levels tends to be design where he hangs out the most. He probably also went to work and spent a lot of time as an agent before he started to really drift off.

I’m also convinced, that the fragments/aspects at that time also have a sliiiightly different look than what Raz has witnessed. Just a tad. I don’t think he’d have his thoughts on Lucy so out there for other people to see until Raz’s and Augustus’s arrival. It jogged something in his subconscious, and the third bit that really helped the bits of the truth on Lucy was when Raz mentioned Maligula. And then shit started popping up for him to be able to know and to help.

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