#break up posts

[consulting-lawyer-boyfriends]

There is so much I want to say but can’t find the words for. This weekend I did something painfully right. I finally admitted to myself that in a world of choices, it’s OK to put yourself first. To put your mental health first, your academics, and personal goals or wishes. 

Today I finally managed to effectively study and revise for my exams next week. I was able to get past the numbness and focus. Yes, I still feel like my heart is heavy, and when I dwell too much, I still feel an unrelenting feeling of guilt, but I need to move on, and not let this affect my studies or get in the way of what I want to achieve. 

It’s OK to want to put yourself first, to focus on yourself and love yourself. To not to want to be in a relationship.

[mawar701]

You realized that you are fucked up when you fell in love with a boy. And after 8 years, you still love him.

But he stopped. He doesn’t love you anymore.

I’m such a fucked up.

[mawar701]

Just realized that today is supposed to be our anniversary. Despite the fact that there is no “we” anymore.

He looks so happy without me.

[thethingsyouwillmiss]

‪In three days, I've lost 2 pounds, my skin cleared up, and I haven't cried once. Probably a good sign.‬

[radidactyl]

True sadness is sitting in your friend's backyard crying at 3am because you can't sleep.

[fuzzabledotcom]

Sadomasochist's of Love 2: A Contradiction

Sadomasochist’s of Love 2: A Contradiction

The same reason I love train journeys happens to be the same reason I resent them. Staring out at the English countryside resonates feelings of imminent alienation from the norm of the hustle and bustle of city life. After spending a hefty ten days in the North at my family home, I have finally rested and recovered from my pain-inducing writer’s block (or so I hope!) Although you’re reading this…

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[annalisa-nicole]

Okay so, if you’re my friend or have been following this blog since the end of March, you know that this year has been exceptionally rough for me. I went through one of the worst things a person could go through and it destroyed me. I was a mess of a person. It took me a solid five months before I could muster up enough energy to even apply for jobs.

Now, not only am I employed, I’m also modeling. I did my first runway show last night and now I just got an email saying that I got a casting call for Charleston Fashion Week. Me. A size 6 model. I got a casting call. They took a look at my full body shot and said “Yes, we’d like to see her walk.” Even if I don’t get cast in any shows, it’s still incredible. There’s even a chance that I could go to NYFW next year.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that the break up I went through destroyed me. It did. The person I was before that no longer exists. But I’m finally putting myself together into someone new and I’m actually really happy right now. I’m doing things I’ve always wanted to do without any hesitation, I’m working out, I’m writing, I’m hanging out with krisscardino and her man. If someone had told me back in March that I would be here feeling this way, I would’ve laughed at them (and then cried), but here I am and I feel good. I feel really good. 

[annalisa-nicole]

I was out last night celebrating krisscardino's birthday with conunbeso. We were drinking beer and laughing it up like we used to in college and I actually thought, "wow. If he hadn't left me, I wouldn't be here with my friends." I mean, I still love the guy and it still hurts, but I think I'm moving on. I'm living again instead of surviving.