#breaknight

[gayaudhd]

Breaknight mega-post part 1

Links: Audrey’s post, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10

This is my Bess Till x Miss Audrey mega-post. It's long, but I hope you enjoy it, and I'd love to hear your thoughts about these two because I love them.

Full disclosure: I'm aromantic, so there are things that I just can't comprehend or understand. Writing this, I often found that I was on the precipice of being able to explain something but just wasn't able to get there, so I'm sorry if there are any open-ended, incomplete, confusing or repetitive conclusions to paragraphs or sections.

I want to start this post by saying that the relationship is beneficial for both Bess and Audrey. I don't believe the thing that Audrey manipulated Bess in any way.

I can't give an exact answer when exactly, but it makes sense that both Till and Audrey must have had feelings for each other before 3x05. 

My theories for when this could be:

In the first scene of 2x09, Bess is talking to Zarah and Ruth; when Bess says, "I can't believe [Audrey] fell for [Wilford's] shit," she swipes her hand over her face as if she's trying to catch a tear or something which is combined with a sad facial expression. I could mean nothing, but given that she fought with Audrey in The War and worked closely together, it's possible that there were some low-lying feelings there. However, I'm not sure I believe it, especially with Bess' behaviour during the party later that episode.

Speaking of the 2x09 party, it's possible (though there's minimal evidence) that Audrey had feelings for Bess by this point. It's a stretch, I know, but Bess is one of the only people she actually glares at (referring to my other post), and she does it in such a cruel way. I've already talked about how the alcohol and costume allow Audrey to hide her real self from everyone to protect herself. It's possible that she gave Till such a dirty look because she's annoyed that she has to face her feelings for someone she absolutely cannot have feelings for. It makes sense when you remember that Bess is like a bodyguard for Zarah in these scenes and is willing to protect her at all costs. Audrey seeing someone protect someone she previously (and possibly still) considered her best friend and had an older sister role over will cause emotions that someone in her position would really not want to feel.

A theory proposed by the fantastic @ruthiesrambles2 (btw you should definitely check them out; they're amazing) is that Bess had a sort of celebrity crush on Audrey as a background thing. When Audrey returns to Wilford, Bess is disgusted by it (evidence of this shown in 2x09); however, when they are on the pirate train, Bess could see a little through Audrey's act. This then snowballed into what it became in 3x08-3x09.

Alternatively, there is the theory that feelings started sometime in the 6 months between s2 and s3 on the pirate train. Despite her seeming delusional, Audrey openly flirts and jokes with/at Bess. Given her headspace at the time (assuming my previous theory is correct), playing around with Bess was probably the only fun or levity she could have on the pirate train. I can't explain how, but it makes sense that she would use the little wiggle room she had with Till to deal with her feelings for her in a 'safe' way by joking around with it. It's a great way to deny that the feelings are actually real, allowing the rest of her not to feel like she's betraying Wilford, which worked because no one on the pirate train believed that she was anything but 100% loyal to Wilford. On Bess' side of things, it's a lot harder to say, but honestly, I think it's just one of those things that kind of just happened. This is where my lack of personal experience with romantic attraction really fails me, so I'm sorry.

[cultiest]

I am firmly of the opinion that Miss Audrey has always looked at Bess and thought 'would smash' I mean just watch how she acts around her

[lenarockerhall]

Tonight! @snowpiercertv season 3 episode 9 premiers on @tntdrama I’ll be there watching!!! Will you? #snowpiercer #missaudrey #besstill #breaknight #snowpiercertnt #snowpiercertv https://www.instagram.com/p/CbYG0qPPsfB/?utm_medium=tumblr

[gayaudhd]

Breaknight mega-post part 10

Links: Audrey’s post, part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9

This is the last part, I promise. Well done for getting this far!

3x10 cont.

The scene where Bess and Audrey talk about leaving or staying on the train really shows how far they've come. Audrey has healed thanks to Bess and now sees her worth and value beyond what one person thinks of her, she is now fully her own woman. Similarly, Bess has also grown immensely, she knows herself and allows herself to do what she wants without regard for what's expected of her from other people. In many ways, this scene shows that Bess and Audrey are birds of a feather, despite their many surface differences.

This scene also gives the heartbreaking exchange where Audrey asks Bess if she would still go if she loved her, to which Bess replies that yes she would still leave. You can see from the pain in both their faces that they do indeed love each other and it's so hard to watch each other leave. Audrey asked Bess the question because for once she was thinking of herself and her happiness and hoped that someone would choose her for a change. 

I want to talk about what I think about them being in love this quickly because it's been on my mind. In my first couple of watches of the show, I did doubt that they could fall in love so fast, but after spending the past 3 months doing a deep dive into their relationship, it feels so natural. A part of me thinks that they were in love by the end of 3x08 so for Audrey to ask the question that prompted the audience to think about love in 3x10 feels more than reasonable. I mean the way that Bess and Audrey look at each other at the end of 3x08 when lying in bed together doesn't feel like just a crush, it looks like love.

This all culminates in the scene where the train splits. I think Bess felt like she had to choose between losing Layton, who I believe she views as a brother, and losing Audrey. On top of that decision, I think she still somewhat felt an obligation to stick with Layton because he opened her eyes back in season 1 and because without him I think she still feels lost. But when faced directly with the prospect of losing Audrey, I think Bess realised what is really important to her. She switches sides not just for Audrey but for herself too, to allow herself to be independent for the first time since she stopped being a breakman. And I think Bess also realises that like how Audrey can help the train in the Night Car, Bess can help the train through kindness and peace. And it's just great to see Bess and Audrey embrace publically, happy to be together. The way they tightly hold onto each other is just perfect, they are so in love.

The final scene they're in together is just perfect. The song Audrey sings makes so much sense for what is happening, and Lena Hall's voice is flawless. Audrey is back in the Night Car helping people once more, and Bess comes in in her head breakman uniform at the perfect moment when Audrey sings the words, "Do the trees bend down, and fold their arms 'round you? Welcome home faithful one, we forgive you." Audrey is clearly singing those lines to Bess telling her that she's home and she's accepted, all of her including that she is now a breakman.

This scene is very much a callback to the "you are my sunshine" scene in 3x03. In that scene, Audrey talks about how all that matters is who you sing for and that she sang for Wilford. Now 7 episodes later she sings for Bess. In the scene singing is seemingly a metaphor for love, Audrey loves and expresses that love through song for Bess. It's a nice callback and makes their relationship feel that much stronger.

Final thoughts

I love these two as a couple, they really work and are exactly what the other person needs. The romance doesn't feel shoehorned in even on a first watch, and the more times I watch the show, it feels more and more natural. They are the epitome of a healthy couple, and it's so refreshing to see a romance where communication is so foundational that it's well-established before they got together. It's because of this that they feel like a married couple from very early on, but also that they would permanently be in a lesser form of the honeymoon stage. 

I guess the whole point of this post was me explaining that despite their relationship being rushed, it's made up for by how compatible they are. It's so clear why they have feelings for each other even to an autistic aromantic such as myself who often struggles to understand the 'why' of romantic relationships. I also love that while their relationship has a lot of touch involved, it's not sexual or even sensual, but it's calming touches. I'm by no means a prude, but I am a sex-averse asexual so it's so refreshing seeing a relationship built on the emotional side and comfort-based physical affection rather than pure physical attraction.

Thank you so much for reading through this it took me 3 months to write so it means a lot.

A huge thank you to @ruthiesrambles2 for listening to my ramblings and helping me with ideas! And also to @ripyourteethout who is my best friend and helped motivate me throughout this entire project, I love you!

[gayaudhd]

Breaknight mega-post part 9

Links: Audrey’s post, part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 10

Note: I will be referring to the last scenes Bess and Audrey are in this episode as the same scene because it makes it easier for me to write about that way. 

3x09 cont.

I like how Bess knows how important the night car is to Audrey and given that they'll be off the train in a couple of days, this will be her last chance to go back. This then forces Audrey to confront that she left the night car when she joined Wilford, believing that she had let go of all of the good the night car did. Expecting this Bess reassures her that she was the one who made the night car matter, that she was special. This is a further example of Bess and Audrey both knowing each other well and helping each other in the exact way the other person needs. 

The slow dance is just beautiful. These are two women who have gone through so much together and yet are starting something new. It's this that makes their first kiss so tender and full of emotion. They are just so happy together that they are so consumed by it that they forget about everything else.

I also love that in this scene to them each other is more important than seeing the pyramids for the last time. What they have together is more important than anything else to them, as we see in 3x10. These are two people who have wanted to experience a moment like this together for a long time, and you can feel it.

It's hard to watch the end of the scene where Bess painfully leaves because she knows she has to be there for Layton as his (sort of) second-in-command, but she does try and make sure Audrey is safe. It's not much, but given everything that's happened it's something.

3x10:

Up until this episode, everything that Bess and Audrey did together and their progression from prison guard and prisoner to partners has all been in private; no one has seen it. Audrey has developed so much, and then we see in this episode that people other than Bess still think of her as a Wilfordite. I think this shocks Bess too when Oz brings up to her and Layton that Audrey is with Wilford in the Nigh Car. From her perspective, she (rightly) knows that Audrey would never go back to Wilford, so she acts forcefully when Layton suggests that they're back together as if it was inevitable. I love that in this situation where they are on the brink of war against Melanie and Wilford has suddenly got power again Bess still fights for Audrey so that others see her for the person she really is rather than the person she became to survive Wilford.

As a small note, I am proud of Audrey for standing up to Wilford and not doing what he demanded. Bess really did show her that she is her own person without Wilford and she isn't the person she once was.

I like the small exchange Bess has with Layton he understands how much Audrey means to Bess. He's known her long enough and has gone through enough with Bess to trust her judgment of others, and he can trust that Bess is right in her beliefs about Audrey. This leads to part of the plan Layton and Melanie create to defeat Wilford. Layton understands what Audrey means to Bess so he makes a way for Bess to get back to her to make sure she's safe. And you can see how happy they both are when Wilford is in the pod, and they're holding hands. It's adorable!!!

[gayaudhd]

I've nearly finished my breaknight megapost so to keep me motivated to finish it before I'm back at uni here is some of the Snowpiercer characters I've done in heroforge with links so you can make your own edits and screenshots.

Bess Till in her breakman uniform:

Bess Till during the war:

Bess Till in boxing gear:

Detective Bess Till:

Miss Audrey 1x02:

Miss Audrey 3x08:

Ruth:

[gayaudhd]

Breaknight mega-post part 8

Links: Audrey’s post, part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 9, part 10

3x09:

I love the first scene they share together in this episode. They're in each other's arms when Bess wakes up, seemingly having naturally gone into that position while asleep, showing the comfort they bring to each other and how deep that comfort goes. It's said later in the scene that Bess hasn't slept that well in a long time, further showing the deep level of comfort Audrey brings to Bess. This is further proven by the fact that Bess overslept, and as we learnt in S2, she doesn't sleep much and is usually punctual. 

Looking at their positioning Audrey is the big spoon with Bess as the little spoon, further allowing her to be vulnerable like she was in the previous episode and she looked content like this. It's also important to note that Audrey also looks well-rested. Though it's not outright stated, it's clear that when she wakes up, she's happy and slept as well as Bess did. Like Bess, she could trust that she was safe because she knew Bess wasn't going to hurt her, which is something Audrey hasn't been able to do since Wilford turned up on Big Alice at the end of S1.

Bess frantically and awkwardly getting dressed is hilarious to me, especially because when she realises Audrey is awake she starts fiddling with her hair trying to make it look good. It's great acting by Mickey Sumner going from the panic of "Oh shit I'm late," to "Oh shit the woman I have a crush on is awake," in an instant because those are distinctly different types of panic.

I think it says a lot about Bess' insecurities and levels of panic in the moment when she asks Audrey if there's something going on between the two of them. The way Bess asks, it's as if she already knows the answer but is afraid of it, which explains why she then immediately lists off reasons why there isn't something going on between her and Audrey. She can see there is and that it's mutual, but that's scary because she hasn't opened herself up in that way since Jinju over a year ago. The way Bess talks it's like she got the courage to ask but then that courage immediately faltered. 

At the same time as all this, Audrey is also visibly nervous and quiet, almost doubting what Bess is asking. Even though she knows Bess feels the same a part of her still doubts it because she's (presumably) never had a healthy romantic relationship with someone before so this is new territory for her. So she's honest, and when Bess tries to dismiss things as Audrey probably having felt this way in the past in the Night Car, she's clear that her feelings go beyond that and I think this helps both of them because now they officially both know that they have feelings for each other and it's not speculation.

I like how in this scene it's painfully obvious to the audience that they have feelings for each other so when they have doubts about whether the other person feels the same the audience doesn't, keeping us in the moment. It's also incredibly cute watching the two of them look at each other with heart eyes and also gay panic at the same time. I mean Audrey's lip bite at the end of the scene is just amazing and heartwarming and sweet and impossibly cute.

The scene where Bess asks Audrey to be her date to the party is adorable and full of gay panic, and I love it. Bess being the gay disaster she is, awkwardly asks Audrey out on a date, which is adorable especially given how nervous Audrey is too. All this time has been building up to this moment where they are unashamedly talking openly about their feelings for each other without any doubt of each other's feelings, and it's beautiful to watch.

I love that Audrey is honest about her not wanting to go to the party because of the things she's done. It's clearly hard for her to say partly because she doesn't want Bess to think that she doesn't want to go on a date with her, but more importantly, because the party makes her confront the consequences of her actions with Wilford. This also makes the audience aware of the sad truth that despite how far Audrey has come in the past few episodes to redeem herself the only person who sees it is Bess.

Bess understanding and respecting what Audrey says and then proceeds to tell her that they can skip the party and do their own thing together is everything to me. Bess prioritises Audrey over her friends and family to make Audrey comfortable, which is something she probably hasn't had happen to her before. And then straight afterwards Bess knows the perfect thing for Audrey and takes her there. Based on Audrey's outfit seen later Bess presumably took Audrey to buy her a nice dress knowing how important it is for Audrey. 

Bess knowing what Audrey needs, in the same way Audrey knew what Bess needed in 3x08, is amazing. In this sense, I think they are two pieces of a puzzle that perfectly slot together. Watching scenes like this is beautiful to see such balance formed from communication and mutual trust.

[gayaudhd]

Breaknight mega-post part 7

Links: Audrey’s post, part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 8, part 9, part 10

That 3x08 scene cont.

I like how they show that Bess is still resistant to help even after she agrees for Audrey to help her. Healing from emotional trauma is similar to healing from physical trauma, to help the wound heal you need to cause more pain to help it heal quicker. Therapy is much the same, and people often show resistance, whether they can control it or not, to the process because it's painful. And through Bess' struggling Audrey just shows her kindness and patience, repeating phrases such as "It's okay," and "You're safe." As someone who knows PTSD well and the effects it causes these phrases do so much, and I'm so glad they included them in the way they did. Even if Bess doesn't believe it, just the act of knowing it and logically knowing that it must be true because Audrey's there. 

When Audrey says "Come back to the core of who you are," we see Bess in her breakman uniform, but what Audrey is trying to do is to show Bess that that version of her isn't her core. Audrey then says "Go there," to help Bess wade through her trauma to get to the real core of who she is, and she can't do that until she's faced her trauma. Bess truly believes, after everything she's done since meeting Layton that she's rotten to the core and she's still the person she was in the first 7 years on Snowpiercer. We as an audience have seen that is not true and she was the way she was due to her job and not because she thought it was right. 

Audrey saying "You removed the uniform [...] to fight for what is right," is so meaningful because she acknowledges the symbolism of Bess' actions and uses it as evidence that she isn't the person she was, she fought against everything she knew because she knew it was wrong to keep pretending that hurting others was okay. Showing Bess that she did do good. 

I think when Bess says "The things we've done Audrey..." it has two meanings. First off I think she's trying to go against what Audrey has just said. She's saying that it doesn't matter that she stopped being the person she was because it doesn't erase all of the hurt and pain she caused before then. She can't push past the guilt and pain she feels for doing those terrible things and can't get past it, refusing to accept that she has done more good than bad. The second meaning/interpretation is that Bess uses the pronoun "we" and in this context, I believe she is referring to herself and Audrey. In doing this, she accepts Audrey's actions for what they are and puts them on the same level which is huge. 

Knowing that this is what she means by this, Audrey reassures her by saying "What we've done cannot be changed." She says this because often when people make mistakes or do horrible things that they later regret they try to erase it, but they can't. All they can do is live with it, and that's a really important thing to do to help the healing process. "Your past may be rotten, but your core is not." By saying this at the same time Audrey backs up what she previously said by using Bess' own words. Audrey tells her that despite the horrible things she's done in the past that's not who she really is. And Audrey sees who Bess really is. When watching this scene it feels like Audrey can see Bess in her uniform as much as Bess can, and she sees all of her, good and bad, and still cares about her. Audrey doesn't see Bess as any less of a person because of what she has done and if anything sees her in a higher regard than she did because of her change.

The fact that when they hug, both present-day Bess and uniformed Bess are shown shows that all of her is accepting the help and comfort. It also shows that Audrey sees and cares about all of Bess, the good and the bad. Also, Bess rubbing her head into Audrey's is cute and could be because Bess needs as much of Audrey as possible, which is so fucking adorable.

Last scene of 3x08

I love that they added this last bit to show that Bess is settled and safe. Her and Audrey laying on her bed facing each other means so much to me. I guess after what they've been through laying next to each other inches apart probably isn't that much for them, but I just feel gay things watching this scene. 

I think it's here that Bess truly realises and accepts her feelings for Audrey. Bess is so at peace and is so happy and calm that it feels like the right moment because she's allowing Audrey to be in her space while she's in a vulnerable position and she's not on edge. This scene is also one of those moments where two people fancy each other and are pretty sure the other likes them back, but they don't do anything. In this case, I think they're both scared to move things too quickly, given that only weeks ago (at most), Audrey was Bess' prisoner. Despite this, though, they seem to be happy and content with each other in this moment of peace. They even say that they want to sleep, which shows how much they trust each other. Sleep is the most vulnerable state a person can be in, so it says so much about how much they trust each other that they feel safe sleeping next to each other.

Also, Bess holding Audrey's hand and rubbing her face against it. This is just adorable, and I love them. The need for touch, even though they are so close, is perfect and hits me in the feels. They are just content in this moment of calm with each other, and it's beautiful.