#breatheforme

[scifitalk]

Mo Collins

[prbyshonda1425]

Just me being me and doing #breatheforme #skitzkraven #nojudgement https://www.instagram.com/p/B3qcqVhDhUV/?igshid=6l0rx2t3ojnf

[equindragon]

Tagged by the forever wonderful @her_odyssey via @embaark @j.m.athena and ultimately @yourheartbeatsstrong for the prompt #breatheforme - With every thump of my heart I seek to make you feel It’s a slow building vacuum I fall to a slow kneel You become the sunshine I simply just a man Hoping you acknowledge me Becomes my only plan But I’m lost inside your view Mere dark speck that I be Reaching from my airless space I beg you “breathe for me...” - - #poems #words #spilledink #instapoet #penguinpoetrynyc #prose #poets #creativewriting #instapoem #writers #write #writerscommunity #theoracleschoice #igpoets #befunky #equindragon #horsewyrm #feeling #thepoetryposse #capecoral #fortmyers #lehighacres #globalwordsmiths #your_poetic_voice #artlixirpoetry #veinheartartisans #globalvoicesunite #wepoetswrite #madpropslive (at Rack'em Spirits & Times) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrRu-pdBB03/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1fkiz54avyefn

[sassyfabulous]

Always yours

[written-shenaniganss]

Poetry speaks words the heart can understand, even if the eyes are too afraid to see the truth.

Rhonda Helmes, Breathe for me

[lucasnapaspeur]

Breathe For Me- Chapter 4

Chapter 4 is finally here! I know that I haven’t posted in a while, but I’m sorry, I’ve just been super busy with school! Anyways since today is Josh`s birthday, I thought it would appropriate to post today. This chapter does not have anything to do with his birthday though. Anyways, I hope you guys like it, and please tell me what you think!

*2 weeks later*

The store was completely empty today. We’d only had around 15 costumers today, who happened to buy barely anything. Mike was not going to be happy. The only people in the store at the moment were me, and my co-worker Audrey. She was currently sitting in the back, giving me a dirty look and listening to her crappy ass pop music. I don’t even know why she still works here. She knows the pay sucks, and it’s not like we’re friendly. She always comes to work with the angriest expression on her face. She constantly puts me in a horrible mood. Audrey is only a year older than me. She’s working part time to get some cash so she could re-registrate herself into College. I try to talk to her the least that I can. Today was Sunday, so lucky for me, she was leaving early.

For the past two weeks, ever since that horrible night, Josh and I have been seeing each other non-stop. To this point, we’ve been trying to see each other the most that we can. Luckily for Josh, he isn’t planning on filming any new films for a while now. I’m the one who is always working six days a week. So far, we’ve gone to the zoo, to the movies, on two picnics, and three times chilling at his house. Usually, I tell my mom that after work, Audrey always invites me to go to her house, instead of telling her that I’m going to see Josh.

Josh and I always seem to have fun together. When I’m with him, there’s never a dull moment. I always seem happy around him. That’s why I’ve been encouraging us to get together more often. Luckily for me, there haven’t been any awkward moments like what happened at the movies. He hadn’t tried to hold my hand again, or even kiss me. Of course, he can be a tad bit flirty in some moments, but I’ve gotten used to it. Josh and I also love to text each other. Once, we texted from 9 pm, to 3 am. There’s never a moment where we can’t find something to talk about. We argue about little things, and agree on all the important ones. He was quickly becoming my closest friend.

We both enjoyed each other’s company very much. I hated to admit it, but it was nice to look forward to seeing him. It was nice to wake up in the morning thinking that no matter what would happen, the day would be great just because I was going to see him.

One day, Josh was walking around and caught me running. He joined me, and we ended up running for about an hour. Once again, this time he caught me running like a maniac. Except this time he didn’t ask me what was wrong. He knew I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t say a word. I could never tell him.

So far, Josh hasn’t asked me any questions yet. He hasn’t asked about my mom, or Mike. He hasn’t asked about the bruises on my face. He hasn’t asked about my bracelets. He hasn’t asked about my constant depressing attitude. He hasn’t asked about my random bursts of crying. He hasn’t asked about my psychotic running. And I am ever so grateful.

I know at some point I will have to tell him these things. But I’ve only known him for a couple of weeks. It can wait.

I’m always thinking about him. It’s gotten kind of crazy.

“God damn it, ELEANOR!” yelled Audrey, right in my face.

See.

“I’m done for today,” she told me. It was only four o’clock. She was supposed to be finished in three hours. Not like I was complaining.

“Oh,” I mumbled.

“Tell Mike that I had an emergency,” she said.

Her ‘emergency’ was probably the desire to smoke pot. She reeked of marijuana.

“Bye,” I mumbled, in the most boring fashion that I possibly could.

A few minutes later, a man walked in. He looked particularly like Josh. He was Josh.

“Hello. Got any cigarettes? I’m really in the mood for a smoke,” said Josh sarcastically.

He knows that I hate guys who smoke. Oh Josh.

But what is he doing here?

“Josh, what the fuck are you doing?” I practically yelled.

How did he even know that I worked here?

“I’m here to visit my favourite store clerk!” he said.

“You can’t be here. My step father could walk through that door any minute, and then what will I say?”

“You’ll say that I am a costumer,” he retorted. I felt stupid.

“He doesn’t like me talking to guys,” I said.

“Well then I guess I should hide,” he said. He climbed over the counter top, and sat down next to where I was standing. “He’ll never find me here!”

“Unless he comes to see how much cash we made. And then what will I say?! ‘Oh Mike. This is Josh. He likes to hide behind counters and stare at girls. But don’t worry; he’s not creepy at all,’”

“Perfect plan!” proclaimed Josh, enthusiastically.

“I’m serious. Go away, I’m working,” I said.

Josh stood up; he turned his head around and observed the store. “I don’t know about you, but right now, I don’t see any costumers, except for yours truly”

“It’s not like I can leave,”

“Why don’t you just close the store for now, and when we get back, you can re-open it?”

“I can’t leave the store unattended, Josh. Besides, what if my stepfather comes and checks on us?”

“Alright. Hm. Okay, what time does your stepfather usually come and check on you?”

“About every 2 hours,” I reply.

“And when was the last time he came?”

“2 hours ago,” I said.

“Look, he’s probably thinking that since business is slow today, he might as well not check on you every two hours. I mean, not much is happening here. So, that leaves us two hours,”

Josh, what the hell?

“Josh, no,”

“Two hours to have as much fun as we possibly can,”

“I couldn’t possibly, Josh,”

“C’mon Elle, don’t you want to have some fun? Don’t you want to cut loose; have a good time? It’s the summer, remember?”

Yes. You remind me of it every day.

“Josh, this isn’t me,” I said.

“Well this is me, so you’re just going to have to come a long for the ride with me,” he said. He took my hand, and I quickly pulled away and grabbed my keys and locked all the doors. Josh and I escaped from the store and ran to his car. I couldn’t understand why I agreed to do this. I felt like crying.

What the hell am I doing?

Josh turned the radio on and we both listened and didn’t talk for a while.

“See, doesn’t this feel good?” he asked.

Josh and I had been on the road for about a half an hour. He said he didn’t know where he was going, and we would go anywhere. I didn’t like this. My legs were shaking, and I was biting my lip again.

I felt like I was going to have an emotional breakdown. I can’t believe I had just left. I had never done anything like that before.

“It feels nerve-racking” I retorted.

“Just relax,” he said, while taking my hand, and squeezing it.

I can’t do this.

“I can’t just relax Josh. I’m fucking stressed out, and I don’t want to do this. You don’t know what the possible outcome could be. You don’t know what could happen because of this. You don’t fucking know anything. God damn it,” I yelled while crying.

He pulled the car to the side of the road.

“Hey,” he said while grabbing my hand. “Look at me”

“I can’t” I said quietly, “I’ll just embarrass myself.”

“No, you won’t,”

“It seems like whenever I see you, I always end up crying,” I said.

“Yes, I’ve began to notice that pattern as well,” he said. I laughed a little.

“If you don’t want to do this, then I can’t force you to. I’m sorry,” he said.

He doesn’t understand.

“No, I do want to go. I want to go every second of my life. I want to leave, I can’t wait to leave. I can’t stand this place, these people, and this life. I just want to leave. I want to leave forever and never come back.

“But I can’t, Josh. There is some sort of barrier pulling me back. I can’t leave this depressing life for a new, fun one. I’m stuck. I can never go anywhere, I can never do anything. He’s just going to reel me back in. There’s no use for adventure, or excitement, or journeys. Because I know that whatever happens, I will just end up back here. Back in that fucking store. Back in that fucking house.

“There are few things in life that make me happy, but no matter what, at the end of the day, I’m always sad again. That’s how my life is, Josh. That’s my fucking story. And I somehow just know that if I leave tonight, I will come back to my house to see my fucking stepfather with some weapon in his hand and at the end of the night, I will end up with a bruise. And I will end up crying. You will probably be at home watching tv and I will be sitting in my room crying myself to sleep, because I know at the end of the day I will end up alone,”

Oh. My. God.

I cannot believe I just said all that. I’ve only known him for three fucking weeks and I just released all of that. God damn it.

“I’ve said too much, I’m so sorry,” I said. I stared at the road in front of us. I couldn’t look at him. He didn’t reply. I didn’t reply. There was complete silence.

I looked up at him to see the look on his face. He was crying, brutally crying.

“I’m so sorry,” he said quietly and gently. “I had no idea you were going through that,”

“I shouldn’t have sent anything, I shouldn’t have upset you. I’m so sorry; those words should not have been spoken for a very long time,”

And for once, he was the one who started crying on my shoulder, and not I on him. And for once, I was the one who was keeping my calm.

“Eleanor, oh my god, Eleanor,” he kept muttering. We hugged for a long time.

I couldn’t believe that I had just said that.

But in a way, I could. It wasn’t because I knew I could trust Josh, or that I thought he should know, it’s that I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell someone about my life, about me. I needed someone to talk to about my problems, and I have for months now. I haven’t had a friend to help me through things for months now. The first opportunity I got to talk about my shitty life, I took it. And I now I felt bad. Because I knew that I wanted him to feel my pain. I knew that I wanted him to feel bad for me. I was a selfish bastard. I was selfish, depressed, annoyed, nasty, sad, and uncaring Eleanor. I will never change.

So much for ‘I’m never telling him anything about my personal life’. And ‘thank god he doesn’t know.’

All he wanted to do is make the best out of the time we had and go out and have some fun. I can’t even go for a half an hour from having an anxiety attack. He probably never wants to see me again. He probably hates me. I hate me. God.

I’ve ruined everything.

[lucasnapaspeur]

Chapter 2 - Part 2

Hello everyone! Chapter 2 part 2 of my fan fiction is finally here! Thank you all so much for the support and for reading my story, and I hope you all really like this chapter! Love you all.

“Your joking,” he said.

“No, I’m really not,” I said.

“You’d rather see Man of Steel than World War Z?” he asked questionably.

“World War Z looks like complete bull,” I replied.

“How about we see both, and then compare,” he said.

“We should do a bet. 10 bucks that my movie got a higher rating, and that it was a better pick,” I said.

“You’re on!” he said. We shook hands.

We watched both movies. I agreed that both of them were equally as awesome, and so did Josh.

“I still think World War Z was better,” he said.

“I still think Man of Steel was better,” I rejoiced.

“Time to check Rotten Tomatoes,” I said.

I fucking lost.

“I’m an actor,” said Josh,” I know my movies.”

“Whatever,” I said.

He laughed.

“What’s next?”

“The Bling Ring,” I said.

“Why?”

“I love Emma Watson,” I said.

“Fair enough,” he replied.

The movie was tolerable. Josh said he liked it. I said it was bearable.

“You’re a hard movie judger,” he said.

“I don’t give any bull,” I said sassily. He laughed.

We watched a couple other random movies until it got dark outside. During this one film called Monsters University (and let me add the fact that I hadn’t even seen Monster Inc.), Josh tried to hold my hand. He slowly moved his fingers closer to mine, each one gently touching mine with the softest touch. He was very slow about it, and very temperate. All of a sudden, we were holding hands.

I gave him a dirty look, and yanked my hand away.

This is the second time I see him. I met him last fucking night. He’s already trying to hold my hand. God.

“Are you trying to tell me that this is a date?” I whispered.

“It can’t be a date if you don’t want it to be. Do you?” he whispered.

“No,” I replied.

No, I really don’t want it to be.

“Then it’s not,” he said while looking at me. He smiled, and then turned his head towards the screen. I expected things to be awkward after that. It wasn’t. I could tell by the look on his face though that he was hurt. I felt bad.

This is what happens when you’re a cold bitch to nice people.

At around 7 o’clock, and after over 5 movies watched, we decided that our movie marathon adventure was time to end. I had to admit, I had lots of fun.

“Since this is not a date, I guess that I’m going head back to my house then,” I said casually.

“Not necessarily. It can’t be a date if we’re ordering-in supper at my place,” he said.

“Why are you pushing this so much?” I ask in a sharp tone. I didn’t mean to ask that aloud.

“Why are you always so rude?” he asked while frowning.

He’s right. He’s absolutely right. You’ve got to learn how to be nice to people, Elle.

“I’m sorry. I’m not good at making friends,” I said.

“That’s okay,” he said.

He took my hand, and this time, I didn’t pull away.

 “Your house scares me,” I said, “it’s incredibly huge”

“I still get lost from time to time” he nudged my shoulder and laughed.

“Very funny,” I said.

“I wonder if Andre’s home. He’s my roommate. You might be scared of him too,” he said.

“She probably will,” said a big man, who immerged from the kitchen doorway. “You must be Eleanor, or as Josh calls you, ‘the prettiest girl I have ever seen in my life’”

“I guess that’s me?” I said while laughing.

Josh did not think that about me. Please.

“I’m Andre. I’m not as scary as I look, by the way,” he said. Of course he must think I’m scared of him. I’m four foot three and weigh less than a book.

“It’s nice meeting you,” I said kindly.

“We’re going to order some pizza, I think. You want something?” asked Josh.

“All dressed,” mumbled Andre as he left the kitchen, walking towards his room.

“Typical,” yelled Josh while laughing.

“He reminds me of a big, soft teddy bear,” I joked. Josh chuckled.

“He pretty much is,” he mumbled while giggling. “What kind of pizza do you like?”

“Just plain cheese,” I said.

It’s always the cheapest option on any menu. That’s what we always order at my house.

“So do I,” he said while smiling.

Josh ordered our pizza at this very fancy pizza restaurant, and a couple minutes later, a pizza delivery guy was at his door. Josh, Andre and I quickly devoured our pizza. I had 3 slices. It was the best pizza I had ever tasted in my life. I felt like a pig, but who cares. You don’t eat like this every day in my house.

“Wow, you really do have an appetite,” said Josh after finishing his third slice.

“So do you,” I retorted.

We were just about full at that point.

“Let’s play a game,” he said.

Oh no.

“Well, it depends what type of game it is,” I said.

“Truth or dare,” he replied.

“Absolutely not,” I said.

“C’mon!” he nudged my arm. “It’ll be fun!”

What am I getting myself into?

“Okay, but nothing too horrible.”

We both sat down on the floor, opposite of each other. “Truth or dare”

“Dare,” I said.

“Go tell Andre you want to have sex with him” he said.

I snorted.

“God, Josh, that is so grade 8 of you,”

“Do it!”

I got up, walked to Andre’s bedroom, and knocked on his door. He said to come in. “Hi.”

He looked confused.

“I would just like to inform you that I would love to have hard, loving, passionate sex with you. Good night,” I said. As I was leaving, I could hear Josh laughing in the background.

“Fuck you,” I said when I returned. “Truth or dare,”

“Truth”

“Hmmmm. What is the stupidest thing you’ve done that you were dared to do?” I asked.

“Andre once dared me to go slap this really pretty girl’s butt,” he said. I laughed so hard. “Truth or dare,” he asked.

“Dare,” he said.

“Run around the block and sing happy birthday Jesus,” he said.

“Absolutely not,” I said.

“It’s a dare,” he said.

And so I did it. It was one of the most embarrassing moments in my life.

The game went on for a while. He asked me who my first kiss was. I dared him to lick his armpit. He dared me to eat dog food (I almost puked). I asked him what the strangest dream of his life was. He asked me what the most embarrassing moment in my life was, (which I had lied about). I asked him what the craziest pick up line he had used to get a girl was. He asked me how many boyfriends’ I’ve had. I dared him to go up to Andre and say he wanted to have wild sex with him, just like I had to do. This went on for about an hour. I had to admit, I was having fun.

“Truth or dare,” he asked.

“Dare,” I said.

“I dare you to exchange a clothing item with the person in front of you,”

What a cheeky little bitch. Mother fucker.

“I am absolutely NOT doing that, you cheeky bastard,” I said.

“It’s a dare, you have to do it,” he said. He was smiling from ear to ear.

“Fine,” I said. I turned around the opposite way so that my back was facing Josh. He would only see the back of my bra. “Gimme your shirt,” I said. I heard him quickly take off his shirt and handed it to me. I changed out of my shirt as fast as I could, and handed mine to Josh. Josh’s shirt was huge on me. I adjusted his shirt (which happened to smell like honey, vanilla, and boy) and turned around to see my floral tank top extremely tightly pressed against his body. I could see a part of his six pack. I started dying of laughter.

“See, was that so hard?” he asked.

“Yes, and embarrassing,” I said.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he said.

“I met you last night, and I just took my shirt off in front of you” I retorted.

And in a swift movement, Josh got up from the floor, and started running around the house.

Um.

“Josh, what are you doing?” I yelled in confusion. “Where are you going?”

I quickly caught up after him. He was headed towards the backyard. His backyard was beautiful. It was grassy and had lots of trees and flowers around. He had a gigantic pool, bigger than my house. There was also the cutest little charcoal black dog running around. The dog came running up towards me. I knelt down on my knees, and he started licking my face.

“Hi boy!” I said playfully. “You are the cutest doggy ever!” I started petting his back. I think he liked me.

“That’s Driver,” said Josh. “Leave Elle alone, boy,”

Driver ran away to the back of the backyard. Josh and I walked to wear the pool was. He could see me admiring how beautiful and big it was.

“Let’s go swimming,” he said.

“Are you crazy?” I asked.

“Yes,” he replied. “C’mon, it’s so humid out! I could use a nice swim,”

“I don’t have a bathing suit,”

“Well then I guess were just going to have to swim with our clothes on,”

“You can swim,” I said. “I’ll stay right here,”

I pushed him into the pool. I laughed hysterically.

“See, this way everyone gets what they want. You get to swim, I get to stay dry, and Driver and I get to laugh at you!” I said.

“Oh, you are so getting it,” he said while climbing out of the pool.

“Good thing I’m fast,” I said. Josh chased me around the backyard (and so did Driver), until I had accidentally tripped over a branch, and fell. Josh swiftly picked me up by my waist, and carried me on his shoulders. I kept screaming at me to let me go and to put me down, but next thing you know, I’m in the pool.

“Fuck you,” I yelled.

“Please, you wish!” said Josh while jumping in the pool. I laughed loudly.

Josh and I swam around for about an hour or so just talking about everything and anything we could think of. We were both laughing and smiling and just having fun. I don’t think I had ever been this happy before in my entire life. It was the best day ever. I didn’t want to leave. Not now, not ever.

Finally. A good day.

[lucasnapaspeur]

Chapter Two - Part 1 of "Breathe For Me"

Hey guys! I would just like to thank you for reading the last chapter of my fan fic! I honestly expected no one to read my story. Anyways, this is chapter 2 part 1, and I hope you guys like it! If you did, please press the small heart button and comment down below! I would love to hear about your reactions! Thank you guys.:)

I awoke the next Saturday morning just before 7 am. I always wake up at that time, sometimes even earlier than this. I love waking up early to see the sun set. I love seeing the world slowly awake from its slumber. You could easily call me a morning person.

Usually at this time, I would quickly get dressed and go running for about an hour. But last night I had come home at around 2:30 am, so I was pretty exhausted. Plus I had already gone running last night, so I didn’t need to this morning. Instead, I decided I would go for a walk. I slowly got dressed and grabbed my mp3 player and my phone, and jumped out my window. I listened to music for a while, that’s usually what I did while running or walking.

I walked around the block a couple of times, and then walked on some new streets. I was hoping to god I wouldn’t get lost.

Right when I was about to start heading home, I saw a cute park close by. It wouldn’t hurt to swing a bit, would it? The park was completely empty, to my luck. I sat down on one of the swings and started slowly swinging.

I took out my phone from my back pocket to check what time it was. It was almost eight o’clock.

I had three text messages from that guy Josh that I met last night.

Hey Eleanor. I hope you got home safely.

I hope everything’s alright. Have a goodnight.:)

Hey. I’m awake, are you? If you are, want to go for breakfast?:)

The last message was sent at 7 am.

I told him to leave me alone. God. It was just one fucking walk.

Last night, Josh and I walked all the way back to my house. It took us a whole heap longer that we had expected. We talked during the entire time. I found out a lot about Josh. He was 20, turning 21 on October 12th. He was an actor, and he’s been in movies like Journey to the Center of The Earth, Bridge to Terabithia, The Kids Are All Right, and his most popular one, The Hunger Games, which I haven’t seen, but have heard off. He just finished filming a new movie which was filmed in Panama a couple weeks ago. He has the cutest dog named Driver, which he named because he loves the movie Drive. His brother Connor is 16 and is a complete genius. The rest of his family lives back in Kentucky. His favourite superhero is Batman. He said if he hadn’t become an actor, he would become a football player. He loves to snowboard. He loves to play basketball. He’s an optimist.

I found out almost everything about him.

And he found out almost nothing about me.

I kept it all very vague. My name is Eleanor Kellans. I’m 18, going on 19. My birthday is in a couple of weeks. I like to read, write, run, listen to music and draw. That’s pretty much it.

As if I was going to tell him anything remotely personal.

Besides, it’s not like I wanted to know about him.

God, Eleanor. Yes you did. You’ll take anything or anyone to talk to at this point. You know you’re fucking lonely.

That’s true.

But in all honesty, why would he ever want to get to know me? There’s nothing fun or great or awesome or cool about me. I’m a mess.

And I also don’t make any sense.

So, my answer to his text was;

Yup, I’m up. And sure, why not?

He quickly replied with;

Good thing you said yes, or else it would’ve been really awkward when I came to talk to you. I can see you, lol.

WHAT?

I glanced up, searching around, and sure enough, there he was, waving and smiling while walking towards me. How did he even find me?

What the fuck?

As Josh approached, I asked, “Are you following me?”

He laughed, and said, “No. I was out walking around and then I saw you. Hey,”

“Hey,” I said awkwardly.

“Where do you want to go?” he asked.

“I’m down for anything,” I said.

I usually don’t eat breakfast in my house. I almost said a loud. This is rare for me.

“iHop it is then,” he supposed, “We can walk back to my place if you’d like, it’s not too far from here. I can drive us,”

Oh no.

“Oh, um, sure,” I said quietly.

I wasn’t exactly in the mood to see Josh’s ten gazillion dollar house and 5 billion dollar car.

God.

We both walked back very quietly, very awkwardly.

When we reached his house, I almost collapsed. It was HUGE. Like, bigger than anything I’ve ever seen before. My house felt like a shoe box compared to his.

I stared at it in awe.

“Your house is…. Amazing!” I told him.

He laughed and said, “Thanks.”

He motioned for his car, which was absolutely beautiful. Talk about a dream car.

“Sweet ride,” I said in amazement.

He quickly opened the door on the passenger side for me, and I sat down quickly.

Dork.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” I said once he sat down next to me, on the driver’s seat.

“Yes I did. I was raised to be a gentleman,” he said while smiling.

I looked away. I could feel myself blushing.

Stop, Elle.

“So do you have a nickname or something? Or do most people just call you Eleanor?”

My mom calls me Elle. My step father calls me Whore.

“Elle is fine,” I said.

“Hm… Elle. I like that,” he said while grinning.

As we were driving in silence, I could feel him glaring at me. I looked away, my face completely boiling. I couldn’t stop blushing, and he could see. He laughed and looked away.

“Are you staring at me?”

He laughed. “Maybe.”

“Stop please,” I said angrily.

He frowned. “I meant it as a compliment, you know.”

“I know, sorry,” I said.

He took my hand and squeezed it.

He took my hand.

God oh god.

“I don’t know how to do this,” I said, “you know, be around you.”

“Just be you,” he said.

“’You’ isn’t good enough,” I said quietly.

“Well I like you,” he said while laughing.

Oh please. You know nothing about me and my fucking life. You wouldn’t like the ‘real me’. You would be afraid. You would hate me. Everyone does. God, why didn’t I just say I was busy this morning?

Everything was silent. I felt like crying.

Don’t make a big deal out of this, Eleanor. Don’t ruin everything.

We finally arrived at iHop. It was actually empty, which was good. No one would see us. Our waitress came quickly and we ordered. I took some coffee and two pancakes with eggs on the side. Josh took the same. I could tell that the waitress knew who Josh was. She was being super flirty and kept staring at him. I couldn’t help but laugh, considering when I met him yesterday, I didn’t know who he was.

“So, tell me about your family,” he said.

No. NO.WHY?

“Um.. well, I live with my mom and her boyfriend, Mike,” I said casually. Hopefully he wouldn’t recognize the nervous look on my face.

“That’s cool,” he said. “What nationality are you?”

“Well, I’m one fourth Hawaiian, in fact. My mom grew up in Hawaii, and then moved here when she was older,” I said.

Josh sounded interested. He asked me a ton of other questions about Hawaii. I’ve never even been there. I’ve actually never really been out of the country. Well, Hawaii is part of the states, but still.

Our plates shortly came, and god, were they good. I haven’t eaten breakfast like that in years. I haven’t actually eaten breakfast in years.

Josh and I kept chatting about random things, and kept a good conversation going. As much as I hated to say it, I liked Josh. He was charming, very chill and relaxed, really sweet, down to earth and caring. I could tell as I was telling him something about my mom that he actually was interested. He actually cared about what I was saying. I felt really comfortable around him. And sure, I had been a little bit nervous, but now I wasn’t. I felt like I could tell him anything. I felt like I had known him for years. He wasn’t like I would have expected him to be.

 But I still wanted him to leave me alone.

 “So, I guess we should get going,” I said as I got up from my seat.

“Where do you have to go?” he asked.

“Well, I, um, need to, um, clean my room,” I said. I am so freaking dumb. Clean my room?? Really?

That’s such a lie. I need to check on my mom. That’s the truth.

“Well, can’t you clean your room later?” he asked.

Oh no.

“I was thinking, maybe we could go to the beach or something,” he said.

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

“I’m not even dressed for it, plus I hate beaches,” I said.

“Well we could go to the movies,” he said, “We could go marathon movie watching!”

I laughed at his enthusiasm.

“You’re not taking a ‘no’ from me, aren’t you?” I asked.

He laughed and said, “No, haha”

“Fine, but let me go home and change first,”

I need to put on my bracelets.

“Deal,”

“But you can’t drop me off at my house. You have to drop me off at least a block away,” I said.

“Why not?” asked Josh.

“Well, first, I don’t want you to see my house, and second, my mom doesn’t know I’m out with you. I kinda jumped out of my window again this morning,” I said.

A.k.a., I don’t want you seeing if she yells at me. Oh, and if Mike is there.

“Alright, its fine,” he said.

We jumped into Josh’s car, and once we reached my block, I told him where to park. I knew Josh didn`t like where I lived. He seemed scared.

“I’ll be 10 minutes, don’t worry,” I said.

I ran towards my house, and climbed back through my window. I put my pajamas back on and messed up my hair so it would look like I just woken up. I left my room sleepily and greeted my mom when I saw her in the hallway.

“Um, mom, I think I’m going to go the movies today,” I said casually.

“That sounds nice honey,” she said.

“I might go out for supper also,” I said.

Don’t get your hopes up, Elle.

“By yourself?” she asked suspiciously.

“Yeah, I need to be alone… You know, think about some, stuff.” I answered.

“Okay, enjoy yourself,” she replied.

I took a quick shower and then got dressed. I chose some jean shorts and a random t shirt that had a floral pattern on it, and the nicest sandals that I had. I quickly fixed my long, chestnut brown hair in a fishtail braid. I didn’t bother with any makeup. I didn’t have any.

I said my goodbye’s to my mom, and then headed out the door. I quickly ran to Josh’s car. He was on the phone with somebody. Once he saw me, he immediately started smiling.

He hung up the phone and then stared at me for a while. “You look great,” he said.

God.

“Let’s go,” I cried.