Friends
Now I know how men approaching me feel. A little. I wanted to talk to this girl bc she seems cool and I literally forgot English. I don’t remember the last time I tried to make a friend irl oh I do I was 15 and she looked at me weird and didn’t let me sit next to her when I asked but put her bag there instead. There was another cool girl too but she was out of there as soon as service was over on a phone call so I missed her. She doesn’t have a group yet. I want to be friends with them both but I guess the 2nd girl makes more sense to try to be friends with first. I want to be her friend because I like her and her style how she carries herself she seems cool.
We could be like Lisa & Meagan (if they were friends)
I’ll try again next week. I started watching anime Soap And Loafer. She’s like me. In university I only had 1 or 2 regular friends that I made in my last 2 months there - and only one was in my university. In my last church there were only 4-6 of us my age. So never needed to go make friends we were just together. Now I’m here I realise I need to try Actively.
Oh man. I’m in a slump. Before I eat it’s hard to do anything bc everything moves slowly and painfully when I’ve not eaten - but after I eat I only want to relax. I feel bad about myself. Because of this cycle.
Once I was trapped and had all the motivation to get out but was locked away from the tools I needed. Then just after I was broken of zeal I was rescued with most of the tools in reach now, and the zeal never recovered. I’m safe so why try? I Try to get my body to care my heart to care but they don’t. It’s been hard. God please.
