I can't believe it-I can't believe I watched Neil Breen on the big screen. I cannot believe I watched Neil Breen on the big screen. How could I do this? How could I watch Neil Breen on the big screen?
if y’all are still riffing on tommy wiseau masterpiece ‘the room’ you’re behind the curve and should try riffing on neil breen movies instead because they’re actually worse
"My name is Cade. I have an identical twin brother named Cale. Then one day it all changed."
What? What all changed? Did he stop being your brother, or stop being identical? (I do like that he's apparently figured out how the twin thing works, though. He's progressed from I Am Here... Now. Though someone should tell him that having an identical twin doesn't mean you dress identically past the age of seven.)
"There was a bright light in the sky and time stood still. We were both selected.”
Selected to not be identical? Selected to not be brothers? This still doesn't answer my question. Subject verb agreement is your friend!
"The pure majesty of nature"
Was it the pure majesty of nature that all changed then? Wait.... wait... I think I can guess the plot of this! He's cuddling a gif bird, after all. Okay, right away: Evil Breen caused Birdemic. He is the reason why the eagles and vultures attacked and caused Global Warming. And it is up to Good, Supreme Breen to tame the eagles and vultures from attackeding!
Breen can fly out from a window so powerfully now that the resounding force goes in the wrong direction!
"A limitless digital universe, connecting all shared virtual reality."
Oh please tell me this is his Matrix. Please tell me this is not his Ready Player One.
"Digital tribes."
I hear you, man. Makorra and Korrasami shippers. Laurel. Yanny. White and Gold and Blue and black. The 4chan brigade. Soul Bonders. But I'm going to guess that Good Breen is a Furry and Bad Breen is a Breitbarter.
"I miss what I never knew."
WHHHHHAAAAT?! You never knew you were a furry?
"Let's have a drink!" "Leave me alone! I have a boyfriend!”
Apparently what he misses and never knew was #MeToo.
"I miss my brother."
Yup, evil Breen confirmed. He's got a beard that looks like the hairy version of Thanos's chin.
"I'm with you."
I know, Neil. I carry you in my heart.
"Programmable matter. Cooz's biological mutant warfare plans must be stopped."
At last, the MCU crossover we've been waiting for.
"Who am I? What am I?"
Some guy who shellacks his mustache?
"It's a killer with unidentifiable DNA!"
OJ Simpson?
EVIL BREEN IS SO POWERFUL HE CAN KILL A MAN BY SHOOTING GIFSPLOSIONS AT THEIR DICKS!
"In AI, fright and interest are not far from each other. Things can become real in your mind. And you believe things you wouldn't ordinarily believe."
I have pills for that.Oh please tell me he goes melon crazy on all those laptops...
"Justice. Is served!"
EVEN BETTER! THE NEXT STEP IN LAPTOP ABUSE EVOLUTION! GIFSPLOSION LAPTOP ABUSE!
"This is where we bring you all to rot and die."
Plinkett's basement?
"Cade I will love you for all eternity." "We will live in a virtual metaverse. A virtual universe. We will make our own worlds"
San Junipero crossover confirmed!
"Everyone has the right to love. And peace."
Except those guys you have chained up in the basement.
"I'll be right here." *taps left pec.*
Yeah, I know Good!Breen. We’ve discussed this
Just so we’re clear though, the twisted pair are still his testicles, right? I already saw too much of them in Double Down.
