An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Here it is, the Brett x Xavier enemies-with-benefits fic that nobody asked for! The premise: What if, instead of pushing Xavier off a balcony, Yasper had simply suggested that Brett make out with him? I started writing this as a joke and now I'm committed.
Most of this chapter is a retelling of the events of the reunion and afterparty from Brett's POV. Any time I write Brett, I wonder, am I making him too ridiculous? And then I rewatch the show and conclude, no, he literally is that ridiculous and more. I kept a lot of the original dialogue from the show (which sounds even more ridiculous written out) but added some new insults and variations.
In this version of events, Aniq has not accidentally pocketed Maggie's koala. Brett still goes to the afterparty anyway. (It was never really about the koala. Max, it was only like 50% about the koala, since he could have just texted Zoe and had her retrieve it from Aniq.)
We get two different perspectives on what Xavier yells after Brett knocks Aniq into the X-shaped shrimp-shrub (why does he have this?!) to the ground: "You broke my branded shrimp tower?!" (Zoe's POV) and "Muh Prawns!" (Brett's POV). The latter is honestly one of the best line deliveries in the entire show. ("I'm a feminist!" is also a top-notch line delivery from Dave Franco.)
There is SO MUCH sexual tension between Brett and Xavier (and all of it improvised!). Brett is obviously attracted to Xavier. Brett also considers himself to be the straightest man alive, so I think he ultimately has to trick himself into doing something about it.
What's going on with Xavier? What conversation did he have with Yasper? Mysteries abound, but we can be confident it was not: "Wow, Xavier, you look so swagless without your hat.”/“Shut the fuck up. You better not tell anyone I was bested in combat by Brett. It’ll make my dick look really small.”
Brett's belt buckle is a giant Chevy logo and he drives a 1971 Chevy Nova. The show didn't have him say anything at all about this, but there's no WAY isn't a Chevy Guy who brings his car up at every opportunity.
I have 60k of this written already but can't promise a consistent update schedule. I have it way less plotted out than Turn Back Time.
Sorry about the title. It is absolutely awful, and once the idea came to me, I realized I couldn't possibly name it anything else.
