#brewing thoughts

[recovering-vamp]

[miteacafe]

Today’s 11pm brew: michi (bubble bath)

Anxious til my heart aches. Nothing new but it still hurts. Some times I think I’ll have a stroke one of these days. It woke me at 2am last night. I’m too scared to sleep.

It’s been like this since the last anxiety attack. The delayed attack that broke free as soon as I let out a sigh.. The one where my mind and body detached itself.. My body reacted so violently while my mind pleaded to get over it and move on with our tasks...

I’ve been stubborn since a child. Rejecting medications for my mental health.. because I stubbornly believe that we will find equilibrium on our own.

So the day I went out for errands, I picked up a bottle of melatonin. It’s been three sleepless nights since I had access to it and I’ve still been stubborn. But tonight, I caved in. I didn’t want to be afraid of sleeping. It’s been 30 minutes now.. and I haven’t felt this relaxed in a while..

[miteacafe]

Today’s 6pm brew: peppermint tea w/ a drizzle of agave syrup

There’s tension at home and in my head; a headache that has never left since I went to bed. The smell of peppermint grounds me.. uplifts me as well. Neighbor’s watering his plants as the sun begins to set. I love my neighborhood; close enough to the city but far enough to enjoy the birdsongs throughout the day. 

I’ve lost sight of what I wanted to do with my main blog. Love all the interactions this month but I feel all the eyes on me. As if there’s something expected of me and I have to live up to that expectation. I’m a perfectionist and most of the time I can’t even live up to my standards. 

In reality and with all honesty, I’m using this “expectation” as my excuse to sell myself short when the only eyes burning through the back of my head are my own. Aside from my PMDD earlier this month, this ‘expectation’ halted my courage to write. I knew the fic I was going to write was personal and would love to take my time with. I haven’t touched it since the first night. 

[whatsonyouth-blog]

Coffee Mug (Part-1)

The chirps musically welcome the sunshine. I sit at the porch inhaling the freshness of morning, and waiting for the sun to bless me. Warm would be its touch, I presume. I sip my coffee. The first sip, always so refreshing. So energizing. The tranquility only deepens, and deep goes all my bills and baloney. I was Possessed. Charmed. (I wish I knew where I am headed.) All the ‘moments’ I cherished…

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[brewingthoughts]

Heaven is within a mile...

Sitting by the window... I look out n its RAIN... Sipping my cuppa coffe I look within and thers no Pain.... I close my eyes to the soothing sound of drops... I see you smile.. That twinkle in your eye.. The unsaid words on ur lips... The memories are so devine n worthwile.... MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HEAVEN IS WITHIN A MILE....😍 You are far yet so close... Within me...in my heart... The shimmer of the rain drops feels lame... For I have seen those eyes who have so much to say... So much love .. Soo much pain.... Like the rain the pain will stop one day... Like the sun... Your happiness will rise one day... Joys are just round the corner.. So please don't frown...for you are a gem that deserves a golden crown... You are a star shining bright... a God sent angel bringing everyone delight... Missing u is a habit I have learned... Your love will be the most precious gift I'll ever earn....   Like everything the world moves on... Someday u'll find someone to get along... By then I'll be looooooong gone....  Somewhere someday far away when you look at the sky and smile... Just remember there is a similar soul looking at the sky hoping to see his star smile... AND feel "THE HEAVEN IS WITHIN A MILE...."

[brewingthoughtsmv]

[brewingthoughtsmv]

Submitted by: Annie Furuyama 

[brewingthoughtsmv]