Tell Me How You Really Feel | Dick Grayson x Fem!Reader
↳ Pairing : Dick Grayson x Fem!Reader
↳ Rating : T
↳ Summary : You're a new Titan and the stern and serious team leader Dick Grayson treats you like you don’t exist. Convinced that he hates you, you confront him about what his issue with you truly is.
↳ W.C : ~2.1K
↳ Tags: fluff, misunderstandings, aggressively shy boy dick, mild language, this is Titans DC!verse y'all, dickkory hasn't happened yet, there’s some mild Jason Todd x Reader in here if you squint.
Titans Tower had never been more festive. Gold foil streamers hung along the rafters, Gar’s disco lights spun across the dimly lit common room, and Jason’s playlist boomed on their surround sound speakers. Everyone had now abandoned the living room and gathered in the kitchen, party hats and all, but you lingered behind scrolling through your phone.
As much as being a Titan was hard work, they always made sure to take time to celebrate holidays and birthdays. And after officially becoming a Titan, you were thankful to have friends who actually cared about you, a team who had your back.
You smiled at the camera roll full of pictures you had snapped with the team: one with a big bear hug from Dawn, another of you happily sandwiched in between Conner and Gar, a selfie with Jason, and one of Rachel, Kory, and you making silly faces. When you flipped to a shot of you and the man of the hour, Dick Grayson, you paused with a frown.
Hank had ushered you and Dick together for a picture, but you knew he was just trying to get you two to get along. It was no secret that everyone could notice the weird tension the team leader had with their new recruit, but Hank was probably the only one bold enough to voice it out loud.
“How about one with birthday boy, new kid?” Hank snatched your phone from your hands and dragged Dick over by the arm. He hadn’t so much as looked your direction the whole day; in fact, it was like you didn’t even exist to him. You got used to it over time, but it was even worse when others pointed it out.
“Get closer together,” The brawny man insisted from behind the camera but neither of you moved. Hank lowered the phone and gave you a desperately pointed look. You took a small step closer to Dick and you could feel him tense up.
“Dick who fucking peed in your cereal today? It’s your birthday act like it.” You glanced up at the man everyone referred to as leader next to you briefly. He looked like he would rather be anywhere but next to you.
“Smile,” Hank said, which was rather ironic since it seemed he was the only one smiling.
You felt mortified seeing the picture now juxtaposed with the scene in the kitchen in front of you. In the picture, Dick looked uncomfortable—angry even—that he had to even stand next to you let alone take a picture with you. But in the kitchen, however, he stood in front of a birthday cake ready to blow out the candles, smiling at everybody but you.
Jason, who had come to the living room to pause his playlist, raised an eyebrow at you. “You coming for the cake or you just gonna stare into space all day?”
You nodded, breaking yourself out of your thoughts. He gave you a weird look, begging an answer but a short “Sorry,” was all you could give him before following the teen into the kitchen.
Kory latched onto your arm, giving it a squeeze when you joined their circle around the table. “Dick was just singing our praises, you almost missed it.”
“Yea, he was getting all sappy on us,” Gar piped up to tease. “‘Gar, you’re like a brother to me,’” he quoted dramatically before pretending to gag.
You cracked a smile at the green-haired boy. He always knew how to make everyone laugh. When your eyes flashed over to your team leader, you saw that he was smiling too. You envied that smile that he gave so easily to others. When your eyes met briefly, he looked away almost immediately and that smile turned into something like a grimace.
You frowned and looked away too. One look at you had stolen every bit of joy away from him in that split second. More than being sad, you were embarrassed. It was like he didn’t even think you deserved to be looked at, like you didn’t deserve your place as a Titan.
Jason looked from you to Dick and scratched his head in frustrated confusion. Rachel broke the silence by clearing her throat. “Anyway, how about some cake—”
“No wait, Rach I’m really curious.” Jason finally spoke up. “He still needs to tell us what he thinks about us. All of us.”
Jason stared at the elder Wayne brother with an intensity that rivaled their previous spats. If there was one thing Jason hated, it was authority and unfairness. And to Jason, Dick’s ignoring you was an extremely biased assertion of his role as leader.
“Here we go,” Rachel said rolling her eyes. “Can’t we ever have one birthday party without arguing?”
“No actually, the kid’s right!” Hank raised his voice, gesticulating towards you as if you weren’t even in the room. “Hey, what the hell’s your problem with her?”
Dawn put her head in her hands with a groan. “I can’t believe we’re doing this right now.”
Dick’s eyes were now boring into yours, jaw set with a clench. You stared back, eyes threatening to spill tears at all the unwanted attention now turning towards you in the room. He redirected his attention back to Jason.
“If you must know, Jason. I think you’re a huge pain in the ass.” Dick smirked, bringing back some levity into the room. You could feel the tension in the room relax and everyone seemed relieved for it.
“Ok, we knew that,” Jason continued exasperatedly, “And?” He motioned for the elder to continue, nodding his head toward you rather unsubtly.
“A-And—” He faltered in his speech, flickering his gaze at you. “She’s—” He blinked in surprise when your gazes met and quickly looked down, unwilling to continue.
That was enough for you. You didn’t want to stick around anymore. Not when you could feel tears already escaping down your cheek. You tore away from the table, wiping the wetness from your face furiously.
“Y/N!” Jason called after you only to be held back by Gar.
You slammed the door and locked it behind you, throwing yourself on the bed. Now you knew what your team leader really thought of you, and it was absolutely nothing, nothing at all. You didn’t mean anything to him. You weren’t a friend and even much less a teammate. What was the point of being part of a team, if the team leader hated your existence? What was the point of all that training if he never even let you do anything? You were excluded from most missions and left to stay behind because it was “too dangerous”. At this point, you were about as important to him as a plastic bag.
A knock came at the door. You curled into your pillow even more. It was probably Dick being forced to apologize to you.
He knocked again and you felt the anger in your chest rising. You suddenly had the urge to tell him off. Fuck the fact that he was technically your superior. You had so much patience due to your poor upbringing that you had let his mistreatment slide. You thought that was just how things were as part of a team and you just had to deal with it. But now that even the team was calling him out on it, you couldn’t ignore it any further.
You opened the door to find Dick standing outside, arm still outstretched in mid-knock. He blinked back his surprise and settled back into the neutral “leader-like” expression you hated so much.
“We need to talk. Can I come in?” He waited for you to respond. Upon seeing your angry glare, he took a short inhale. “Please Y/N.”
Your heart stuttered against your will. It had been the first time he’d addressed you by name and there was something else stirring in his eyes. His face wore a vulnerability you’d never seen on him before. You stepped aside warily, letting him in.
When the door closed behind you, you spun around wildly to face him.
“What the fuck is your problem with me, Grayson? Why do you hate me so much? What did I ever do to you—” You hated the fact that you were tearing up again.
“I don’t hate you.” He cut in lamely. When your eyes met, he held your gaze briefly breaking to looking off to the side again.
“See? What the fuck? You can barely even look at me. Hank had to force you to even stand next to me. How the hell am I supposed to be a part of this team if the leader can’t even pretend to like me? Just admit you can’t fucking stand me.” You continued airing your grievances out at him, growing more agitated at the man’s silence. “Fucking say something!”
“I don’t hate you,” He said again, jaw set sternly. He took a step forward, and you took a step back. “I don’t want to look at you.” Another step. Another step back.
“W-what?” Your back was at the door, and he was now standing—towering— over you.
“I don’t want to stand next to you.”
“I…don’t understand.” You furrowed your brow in confusion, searching his eyes for the meaning behind his words. His professional poise had disappeared and was replaced with something else—something darker. Nothing made sense anymore; He said he didn't want to stand next to you, but you were now practically breathing the same air.
“And you’re right. I can’t fucking stand you.”
You flinched at his words. Admittedly, you had been cursing at him the whole time since he’d entered your room, but he rarely cursed, and hearing him repeat your words back at you gave you pause.
You tried to move but he kept you caged in on either side of his arms. You had enough; you heard enough, and now you just wanted him gone. Once he was out of your room, you could resign yourself to ignoring each other for the rest of your time on the team. Fuck him.
“Thanks. I got it the first time so just let me go.” You were hurt, and whenever you tried to mask your feelings, sarcasm came out as a defense mechanism. When he didn’t budge to let you move, you pushed against his chest. “Let me go, Grayson,” you applied more pressure to his chest as a warning. You wouldn’t hesitate to use your powers to make him move.
Dick leaned back, allowing for more space between you. You caught your breath, relishing the newfound breathing space. Instead of letting you go fully, he circled your right wrist keeping it at his chest. You felt his heartbeat erratically pulsing under your palm.
“I can’t be near you. I…I can’t even hear myself think.” He spoke a little quieter now, splaying his fingers flat against your hand deepening the pressure on his chest. His heart was beating faster now. “That’s all I can fucking hear.” Seeing that you got the point he was referring to his heartbeat, he released your hand. You watched his throat bob as he swallowed thickly. His face looked flushed.
“I can barely look at you because then…you’d probably notice.” He mumbled the last part but you heard him quite clearly. He looked more boyish than ever as he stood before you.
“I’d probably notice…?” You trailed off, hoping he would continue. You were curious mostly not as to what he would say, but how he would say it.
“Don’t make me say it, Y/N” Dick grimaced again. You had come to know this look as disdain, but with the man’s revelation, you were beginning to see that expression in a new light. He looked more embarrassed than anything, and now the tips of his ears began to burn a bright red. Holy Shit. This is what Dick Grayson was like when he had a crush.
“I can’t pretend to like you because…I already like you. Like a lot. I can’t stop thinking about you-mmph“
You pulled him down by the collar and into a kiss. His initial surprise from your sudden interruption melted into passion as he deepened it, hungrily grasping at your waist to pull you closer to him.
You stopped kissing him for a moment to stare seriously up at him. “What about for missions? You never let me come.” You were beginning to put 2 and 2 together for all the other stuff like the times he would make that weird face at you, or avoid you completely. But you still couldn’t see why, as an active member he wouldn’t let you participate in missions.
“You,” He said simply. He was looking at you fondly now, eyelids languid and lazy as his thumbs rubbed circles into your waist.
“What about me?”
“You’re distracting.” His gaze flitted to your lips, “To me specifically.” He added, looking at you with such an innocent honesty that you could only partly contain your laugh.
“You’re such a fucking idiot,” You groaned feigning annoyance. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
“Tell me how you really feel.” He grinned dumbly into your lips as you pulled him down into another kiss.
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