#brilliance!

[drunkcnsunlight]

“Did you see the cat café that opened? Let’s go together!” (ryan & gi-hun)

--- “finally! a place that is worthy of my money!” gi-hun’s smile was wide and sunshiny. he was rather quick to accept ryan as part of his family, because the man was easy to get along with; he made ga-yeong happy; and he’d given him no reason to dislike him so far. so long as he didn’t break his little girl’s heart, gi-hun would be happily on his side, supporting him. “how long has this place been open? no one’s going to be able to reach me now! i’m just going to be playing with cats all day!” gi-hun grinned, holding the door for ryan, as he entered the place that seemed to be derived of his dreams. there were cats all over the place, and desserts sold in closed containers, because, of course, of the contaminant risk. “get what you’d like. it’s on me, all right? and don’t argue with me! i’m buying your treat. the sooner that i do, the sooner that we can play with the cats!” gi-hun paid for their desserts, and soon, they were seated at a table. a sleek orange tabby meandered her way to gi-hun’s side, and soon, she jumped up on his lap. “oh my god. oh my god, ryan, i’m going to DIE from the cuteness!” gi-hun nearly squealed, setting his slice of cake down, so that he could scratch behind the feline’s ear. “it says on the sign that these cats are up for ADOPTION! so... tell me this... do you think that sang-woo would MURDER me if i brought a kitty home? or does he love me enough that he’d accept her, too?” gi-hun was nodding at the cat who had settled onto his lap so happily.

@bcssbitchs​

[pyotra]

B.R. Ambedkar, “A FALSE CHARGE: Are Untouchables the Tools of the British?” from What Congress and Gandhi Have Done to the Untouchables (1945).

“That the Untouchables should have refused to join the Congress in the 'Fight for Freedom' is in, itself a proof positive that their reason for non-cooperation with the Congress cannot be the puerile one suggested by the Congress. It must be something real and substantial. What is it? The reason which has led the Untouchables to non-cooperate with the Congress has been popularly expressed by them when they say that they do not wish to be placed under Hindu Raj in which the governing class would be the Bania and the Brahmin with low class Hindus as their policemen, all of whom have been the hereditary enemies of the Untouchables. This language is held to offend against good taste. That may be so. But it must not be supposed that because such slogans are offensive in their tone they are devoid of sense or that the outlook which they typify and the ideals which they embody have no compelling force or that they cannot be made to wear the garb of a true and respectable political philosophy.

Translated in the language of political science, what do these slogans mean ? They mean that the Untouchables are not opposed to freedom from British Imperialism. But they refuse to be content with mere freedom from British Imperialism. What they insist upon is that free India is not enough. Free India should be made safe for democracy. Starting with this aim, they say that on account of the peculiar social formation in India there are minority communities pitted against a Hindu Communal Majority, that if no provisions are made in the constitution to cut the fangs of the Hindu Communal Majority, India will not be safe for democracy. The Untouchables therefore insist on devising a constitution which will take note of the special circumstances of India and contain safeguards which will prevent this Hindu Communal Majority in Indian society from getting possession of political power to suppress and oppress the Untouchables and which will directly invest the Untouchables with at least a modicum of political power to prevent their suppression and exploitation, and to enable them at least to hold their own, in their struggle for existence against the Communal Majority. In short, what the Untouchables want are safeguards in the constitution itself which will prevent the tyranny of a Hindu Communal Majority from coming into being.

The Congress on the other hand regards the freedom of India from British Imperialism to be the be-all and end-all of Indian nationalism. Nothing more, it thinks, is necessary for the welfare of the Indian people in a free India.  As to the question of a constitution for a free India, the Congress simply docs not look upon it as a problem. Asked, what about the constitution of a free India? The Congress reply is that it will be a democracy. What sort of democracy would it be? The Congress answer is that it will be based on adult franchise. Will there be any other safeguard, besides adult suffrage for preventing the tyranny of a Hindu Communal Majority? The Congress reply is emphatically in the negative. Asked, why this opposition to safeguards? The Congress says that it is a vivisection of the nation—an argument the pictured queerness of which is intended to cover its stupidity and which has its origin in the genius of Mr. Gandhi, and for which the high class Hindus, who stand to lose by these safeguards, feel so grateful to him.

The Untouchables refuse to accept this silly sophism. They say that Indian social life has to be reckoned in terms of communities. There is no escape. Communities are such hard facts of Indian social life that it would be wrong to accept that communal impulse and communal prejudice do not dominate the relations of the communities. The social psychology of the Hindu Communal Majority is dominated by the dogma which recognises not merely inequality but graded inequality as the rule governing the inter-relationship among the various communities. This dogma of graded inequality is absolutely inimical to liberty and fraternity. It cannot be believed that this graded inequality will vanish or that the Hindus will strive to abolish it. That is impossible.This graded inequality is not accidental or incidental. It is the religion of the Hindus. It is the official doctrine of Hinduism. It is sacred and no Hindu can think of doing away with it. The Hindu Communal Majority with its religion of graded inequality is not therefore a passing phase. It is a permanent fact and a menace forever. In making a constitution for India the existence of a standing Communal Majority cannot be ignored and the problem of devising safeguards so as to reconcile it with political democracy must be faced. That is the reasoning of the Untouchables.”

[tayswiftforevermore]

This. Track. Is. Sick.

[oddly-in-phase]

Red D(i)es

So for the past while my mother has been making me lunches to bring to school and she's been shoving money at my hands and telling me to buy a lunch or anything to eat. And then whenever I tell her I'm going to the park to run around she gets all opposing and she keeps hiding any skipping ropes that I may find or purchase.

So apparently my mother is still wary for my... self. My classmates are living independently, no doubt making their own lunches, driving their own cars, working, etc etc. and my mother is making lunches for me.

So apparently she's still thinking about how I was a few years back.

Past: [please don't judge me too harshly if you should judge me at all]  I read a book about a girl who was on a swim team. Through some influence, she wanted to get skinnier and the book was her story of her anorexia. So portions of the book would be her going to the swimming pool and being so puzzled as to why she didn't have energy or stamina to swim anymore or the fact that when she laid on the floor to reach into the pool, she could feel her hip bones most prominently and it hurt her and she felt uncomfortable... And all I could think of was, "You are so STUPID! Of course you don't have energy if you don't fucking eat! Like damn! You are so so so stupid!" I was mainly pissed off at the character and really angry at her. 

Jump to another part of my life; I've always had allergies. Occasionally they change and shift and they've gone from mild to severe and manageable though presently seasonal. During my severe stage, I was in so much confusion with myself. I didn't know what to do to prevent this pain. I didn't know what I was allergic too. The stupid doctors would do an allergy test and then tell me what I was allergic to and that was it. HOW THE FUCK WOULD I REMEMBER? They didn't write jack-shit down! Just assumed I'd remember while they talked! PFFT! Talking with anyone I'm not immensely comfortable with is... I don't retain information that well, okay! Essentially, the doctor listed a BUNCH OF FOOD. So I didn't eat a bunch of stuff but it's hard to know which and what... it's hard. I could be allergic to a dye for I know, but I didn't know! And it wasn't just food but also my surroundings that could inflict allergies. But mainly it was food. And then there's this one person in my life who's SUPER STUPID and she pissed me off whenever it came to the topic of allergies and so I simply thought...

Why don't I just eat nothing? I was so frustrated with food and people telling me this and that and I was so confused that I decided to just not eat. I did... but like, once a day. 

^^ Of course, it wasn't like I knew I was going to eat less. It was more like a subconscious thing where I ate less and less and avoided a lot of food. Avoiding food that I may have allergies with. It's in our human nature to avoid pain. We distance ourselves from what hurts us, mostly, and find comfort in things that don't.

(So in combination with food allergies and being surrounded by stupid people, I was also sad. So I was thinking about how if I didn't eat for a month, maybe then I'll get to that coma-induced state and then finally get to... not worry about food, people, places, etc.)

But no one could understand how much grief I felt with these allergies. People'll be like, it doesn't look bad, stop complaining about it, don't you have some creams for it? 

Sure I have creams. Hormone-based-with-side-effect creams.

And I had that one """friend""" that would tell me "that I looked fine" but she wouldn't understand that I didn't FEEL fine. I felt sick and in pain. (not to mention sad and lonely).

So anyways, I just stopped making my lunches. (During my high school years I did indeed make my own lunches, or was given the responsibility for my own self).

I didn't eat breakfast because I was always so tired and slow in the mornings and I didn't feel like eating anything. And then for lunch, I simply didn't have a lunch to eat so I'd just watch as my friends bought lunches or brought their own.

And I guess some people noticed.

And it was during that time that I began thinking that maybe I just really wanted to be SKINNY. All these girls online were wanting spaces between thighs, and collarbones, and the whole skeleton kind of body and I was swayed into that, and then I found a sort of fucked up beauty in that too and since there seemed to be such a big community of people wanting to be skinny, I decided to jump onto that band wagon. I felt a little less alone because now I knew there were a lot more people "like me" - trying to get skinny.

(Which of course is total bullshit because my motive to avoid food was a fear I got from them because they caused me physical, tangible pain. To be skinny was just a surface act, I suppose. Maybe not completely, LOTS of girls want to be skinnier but... I never had qualms with my body before I saw Tumblr and read books about them...)

Anyways, remember that book where I got angry with the character? Well, guess what? During that time where I was avoiding food like the plague, I was also on a sports team. The rugby sports team.

And let's just say that it was my worst year. And during that time, I kept thinking about that book and my reaction and mentally bashing my head against a wall at my own stupidity! 

So I suppose to the outward appearance, it seemed like my goal was weight loss. Early morning practices, games, tournaments, walking home from school everyday, not eating except for something VERY PLAIN AND SIMPLE AND WITHOUT SPICES OR ADDITIVES OR ANYTHING UNNATURAL OR ARTIFICIAL for early dinner.

My mother saw this "goal" in me and that's when she started making my lunches again and hiding my skipping ropes.

Ha, ha.

I guess I'm fine now food/weight/allergy wise. My allergies have calmed down and have moved to other areas like pets and seasonal and summer and sun etc etc.... but I'm mostly okay.

And I have a very very very good bmi of 21.4 sooo yayy. Like I said, it was never a body thing. It was an Immune-system thing.

(Now I just mainly have concerns over potential asthma and claudication***** and anxiety.)

******Fun fact;

The risk factors for claudication are the same as those for developing atherosclerosis, including:

Smoking

High cholesterol

High blood pressure

Obesity (a body mass index over 30)

Diabetes

Age older than 70 years

Age older than 50 years if you also smoke or have diabetes

A family history of atherosclerosis, peripheral artery disease or claudication

I have all the symptoms but I do not have these "factors", I do not smoke, nor have diabetes, or obesity or am I that old, and I don't know anyone who limps in my family history. I don't know. My doctor told me to massage my legs. -.-

How do I know if I have asthma or if I'm just unfit?

[timtim]

Keith Schofield: Darwin Deez > You Can't Be My Girl