After the bloated version of the event in 2011, WWE decided to go back to basics for the 2012 Royal Rumble. While this change was welcomed by many fans, the big story leading into the show was the return of Chris Jericho. After CM Punk started calling himself “The Best In The World,” we all knew Y2J was going to come knocking sooner or later. After weeks of a brilliant heel turn that consisted of nothing but silence from Jericho, the final Raw before the Rumble had him issuing an ominous prediction: “It will be the end of the world as you know it.” Would Jericho’s return include the final accolade he had left to accomplish? Or, would one of the 29 other entrants have Jericho’s number? From St. Louis, Missouri, this is the Royal Rumble!
1. Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry in a Steel Cage Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: 2012 was the year Daniel Bryan really got over with the fans, and it started here in this cage match. All three guys had been feuding since the middle of December, and this was the blow-off to the Show-Henry story. Despite opening the show, this was a pretty bland affair. Henry was severely injured coming in, so Bryan and Show do the brunt of the work load. While it has a quick pace, the match never develops and is basically a series of moves until the finish, which does a great job of getting Bryan over as a sneaky heel. Despite that, this was a Smackdown quality match that probably shouldn’t have been on this show.
2. The Bella Twins, Beth Phoenix, and Natayla vs. Alicia Fox, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, and Tamina Snuka: This was your typical “throw a bunch of divas out there to waste some time” match. Considering that this wasn’t announced before the show, that should give you an idea of the quality. While it was better than I expected, it is filled with the crap that the Divas did in every singe match prior to the women’s revolution. If you’ve seen one, then you can almost predict how this one will go. Although I will give credit to the match team colors.
3. Kane vs. John Cena: This was around the time that Kane had returned to wearing a mask, and suddenly decided to wax philosophical about Cena needing to “embrace the hate.” While this wasn’t as awful as it may seem on paper, these guys managed to get almost no heat in this match, despite the intense build to this contest. They really should have stuck a stipulation on this to spice it up. This was basically to keep Cena busy until his match with the Rock at Wrestlemania, and both guys do kind of phone this one in. The finish will be controversial to some, but seeing as how it advanced the story forward, it didn’t bother me as much. If only the booking didn’t get so damn terrible before Elimination Chamber. This match isn’t terrible, but it isn’t very memorable either.
4. Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre: You know it’s a rough show when you have two filler matches added the day of the show. Thankfully, this is just a squash match to get Clay over that doesn’t even last two minutes. I’m not sure why WWE pushed the Funkasaurus gimmick so hard, nobody could ride that to a main event push. Short, sweet, and to the point like it needed to be.
5. CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler for the WWE Championship: Finally, we get to something good. Both guys would have an amazing year, but this match was a bit below what I expected out of them. The biggest issue is that the second half of the match is all about Punk’s feud with Johnny Ace, where Ziggler basically becomes a prop for Punk to beat up. The first half is good, and set the pace for a better finish than what we got. While it may seem like I’m being negative, this was the clear highlight of the night. It’s just a shame that the second half can’t deliver on the promise of the first half.
6. The 2012 Royal Rumble: This Rumble seems to be very divisive to fans. Some people enjoy this, and other people hate this match. I’m somewhere in the middle. While it has more fun than the next three Rumbles that came after it, the spots are super spaced out, and parts of the match seem to drag. The biggest issue with the match is the finish. Jericho seemed like the obvious choice to win, but in an attempt to be unpredictable, Sheamus gets the surprise win. I can see why people have a problem with this, as it feels forced and unearned instead of a genuine shock moment. Despite that, I still had some fun with this Rumble, and would easily say it is one of the better ones from the last decade.
This show was very similar to the 2006 edition, in that none of the matches really delivered. The major difference here was that the pacing was well done, so the show is an easy watch. Despite having six matches, only the last two really stand out. While there isn’t anything terrible on the show, it does feel like it’s missing a really big moment. If you want to see it, I’m sure you won’t be disappointed, but I can’t see myself watching this one again anytime soon.
