I'm nimbly in pain waiting for the next sign of revival hack slashing this way and that and never ever being sure of how I should portray my infinitesimal self I slay my conscious I keep it all inside I'm broken I'm not free I feel like I'm walking on dunes of forever longing for you For keeping my head up I'm left with pieces of myself missing... I don't want you to find me in my ignorance, in my unforgiving self, I keep to myself I want to pour out atleast give me an image I can clinge to where I can feel at home I'm almost surrounded by strangers left with my dead laugh at my strange unforgiving fate I'm wasting time, I'm taking up space the only heat I feel comfortable with is the familiar and I don't know how to love I don't know how to ask, what symbol should I use next----i fear I'm incapable of expressing myself, exsistentially lost in anti-climatic magnificence then I transport myself to my past hopeful place, where I learned to dive in, and forget my fears even for a moment where I learned to understand where I learned to take pity, and where where I learned to listen I kept my head on straight but now I'm forever drowning forever unattached only looking at what I've done, and where I've gone wrong. Then I remember where I create beauty, I feel that terrible shaking sensation in my soul and it stays with me until you're gone and I'm left wondering if I've done something wrong Modern man can only dream of the break Of dawn, where he can truely express how he feels without feelings of loathing and love, without the instruments of hate and attack The beauty is in the eye of the beholder, yet I dream of the experience to take