If you wrote some canon Dinesh and Jared fake dating I’d owe you my LIFE
I think you owe me your life like 6 times over at this point lmao
“Jared,” Dinesh says, placing a box of green tea on the table, “I got you that tea you like...and I was wondering if you could do me a favor?”
“Of course,” Jared says, smiling. “What is it?”
“Well...my mom is coming to visit soon, just for a few days, and I may have told her that I’m in a relationship so that she would stop trying to set me up with every gay guy she meets.” Dinesh says, very quickly and awkwardly, trying not to look Jared in the eye. “And, um, anyway...I was wondering if you would mind...pretending to be my boyfriend? Just while she’s here?”
Jared pauses, and Dinesh grimaces. “Sorry. Stupid idea. I’ll leave, you can keep the tea, forget I said anything, and please, please don’t tell Gilfoyle.”
“No, Dinesh, I’ll do it,” Jared says, smiling. “But I think it’s very sweet that your mom is so accepting of your sexuality!”
“Trust me, you wouldn’t think it was sweet if you were there when she tried to make me a Grindr profile,” Dinesh says. “But...thank you.”
Jared accompanies Dinesh to pick his parents up from the airport. Or more accurately, he drives, seeing as Dinesh no longer has a car and will likely never trust himself with one again.
Dinesh gets out of the car when he sees his mother and waves her over, shouting something in Urdu. When his mother gets to the car she immediately pulls Dinesh into a tight hug, then holds him at arm’s length to adjust his hair and make some kind of comment about his shirt. Judging by the tone in which Dinesh responds, it’s not complimentary.
“And this must be the boyfriend!” she says in English as Jared gets out of the car to help her with her bags. “It’s so lovely to finally meet you, Jared.”
“It’s very nice to meet you too, Mrs. Chugtai,” Jared says, tucking her bags into the trunk.
“Please, Jared, call me Nasreen,” she says. “Dinesh has told me so much about you!”
“All very good things,” Nasreen says, smiling. “He said you like birdwatching, and that you made some amazing bread for a company party?”
Jared smiles. “Yes, I made a gluten-free cinnamon-raisin swirl bread, I was very proud of how it turned out.”
“Well, perhaps I’ll get the recipe from you and make it next time Dinesh is home, since he likes it so much,” Nasreen says. Jared holds the door open for her to get into the backseat, and as soon as everyone’s buckled up he turns the car on and maneuvers out of the airport pickup line.
As the week progresses, Dinesh becomes accustomed to “dating” Jared, and wonders why he has never considered the other man as a romantic option before. Probably because Jared has always seemed so devoted to Richard - having that kind of intense affection fixed on himself, Dinesh finds, is strange but not entirely unpleasant.
Not to mention the fact that Dinesh’s mother loves him. After a day and a half she manages to add him to the family WhatsApp group, and Jared’s phone buzzes nonstop with Urdu memes and chain messages from Dinesh’s various cousins.
“I don’t understand ninety percent of the conversation,” Jared admits, “and Google Translate isn’t particularly helpful, but...it’s nice to feel included. Like I have a family.”
Dinesh is never sure how to respond when Jared says shit like that. His mom, on the other hand, immediately adopts Jared as another son.
“What do you mean, no family?” she asks at dinner after Jared has explained that he has no family and therefore no holiday plans. “Dinesh, why didn’t you tell me this poor boy was an orphan?”
Dinesh shrugs and mutters something about how he didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. In truth, he hadn’t really known - Jared has mentioned growing up in foster care, and with an aunt and uncle who sound like absolute monsters, but it never really clicked before that he didn’t have anyone in the world.
Dinesh suddenly feels very guilty for all the shitty things he’s ever said or done to Jared. There’s not enough fancy tea in the world to make up for it.
That night, he brings up the topic as they’re lying in bed trying to fall asleep. To keep up appearances, they’re all staying at Jared’s condo - Nasreen on the pullout couch (after Jared lost the argument about who got the proper bed) and Dinesh and Jared in Jared’s room. Jared originally planned to sleep on the floor, but when Dinesh woke up to the sound of mumbled German and whimpering for the third time in one night, he convinced Jared to sleep on the bed and put up a retaining wall made of pillows. Now, they’re lying in bed facing away from each other when Dinesh brings up the topic.
“Hey,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
“For...well, I’ve kind of been a dick to you ever since we met. I mean, I called you names and bossed you around, and I slapped you when Gilfoyle and I were fighting about our phones and I’m really, really sorry about that.”
“Oh, Dinesh, don’t be silly,” Jared says. “I deserved it, I got in the way. It won’t happen again, I promise.”
“No!” Dinesh says. “Jared, you didn’t deserve it, and you shouldn’t be apologizing, you have nothing to apologize for, you’ve been nothing but generous and kind and forgiving ever since I met you. I’ve been an asshole.”
“Dinesh, don’t worry about it,” Jared says. “I’ve survived far worse.”
“That doesn’t make what I’ve said and done to you any less bad,” Dinesh says. “You shouldn’t have to put up with this shit, and I’m sorry, and I’ll really try to be better from now on. I know that’s not saying much but...I mean it. I’m sorry. You deserve better.”
There’s an uncomfortable silence, and then a sharp hitched breath.
“Jared,” Dinesh says, “are you crying?”
“No,” Jared says in a tear-choked voice. Then, a moment later, “Yes. I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for,” Dinesh says. “Um...is there anything I can do to make you feel better? Do you want some water, or...or a hug or something?”
Jared rolls over to face Dinesh, his large blue eyes filled with tears. “Are you - do you really mean it?” he asks. “A hug would be...would be nice.”
Dinesh reaches and awkwardly hugs Jared, gently patting his back. “There, there,” he soothes. “Shh, shh, it’s okay, you’re going to be okay.” As Jared calms down and his breathing evens out, Dinesh presses a soft tender kiss to his temple.
Jared freezes, and Dinesh kicks himself internally. “Shit,” he says. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have - I’ve made it weird. I’m sorry. I’ll sleep on the floor, I’ll leave tomorrow, I’ll - “
Jared cuts him off with a kiss on the cheek. “You didn’t make it weird,” he whispers. “It’s okay. I like this. I like you.”
“Oh,” Dinesh says. “Well...I like you too.”
