#bryan sonnier

[cigarsandpoetry-blog]

Four Poems One Night

I wrote four poems last night

Each was distinct

But they all shared a common theme

Agony

I wrote four poems last night

I wrote them with my blood

Laminated them with my tears

They are my letters

My books

Read them

Keep them

I wrote four poems last night

And I cried again

Do not feel sorry for me

Please

I love crying

It makes me feel better

It makes me feel human

I let it out

Before it gets too late

I wrote four poems tonight

Each contained a thousand tears

I cried

Tonight

Did you call me?

Were you already aware of how my day went?

- Bryan Sonnier from (TGWOB) Get your copy here.  

[cigarsandpoetry-blog]

I See, You See Nothing

We bonded over lyrics

Yours and mine

It was poetic synchrony

We kissed

We laughed

We fucked

The end

Now I would ask why

But this then poem would sound like the rest

Mad

Or sad

But I am merely curious

So why?

I do not understand it

Like really good poetry

I do not understand how you could eat

From the garden of Eden itself

And still want the forbidden fruit

We woke up around the same time

The next day

A quarter past heartbreak

I felt like tar

Stuck to the bed

You, on the other hand,

You were perfect

Got up with so much energy and quickly started getting dressed

There was symbolism behind you buttoning up your shirt

With each button I was reminded of how much I really did not matter to you

The way you could get up

Put yourself together

And have no regards for the stagnant corpse

That now stained your bed

The worst part is

You never looked my way

So when you left

I thought it would be logical for me to get dressed

And do the same

So, I moved

My body, a thousand ton obstacle

And I moved it

I drug myself to look in the mirror

But when I did so, I saw

Nothing

So I guess I finally see what you see

- Bryan Sonnier (from The Great Wall Of Bryan) Read in entirety here.

[cigarsandpoetry-blog]

The Seed In You

He planted

a seed in you

you were ecstatic

ecstatic like the sky is always blue

blue like one of the possible outcomes

of your seed

You made plans and preparations

for your little rosebud

tell me what color

would you prefer him?

And that seed was growing

and growing

just as you would have him

and finally your levees gave out

out like your seed now had to be

out of you

out for you

did he hurt you?

Mother,

tell me

when I bloomed and forced my way out of you

parting your walls as Moses did the sea

did I hurt you?

Did you become happy again

once you laid eyes on your little rose

the rose being monochromatic

but he was finally out

but was he?

Years passed

a decade and then some

your flower was no longer one color

he had been growing into himself

and he was so happy

and gorgeous

he looked just like a beautiful rainbow

He recalls coming out of you

coming out for you

but now he wants to come out to you

and you are shook

Until your mind was made up

and this flower

was no longer yours

to you, it could not be yours

mother

What is it about this flower

that makes you uneasy

you claimed that this flower has hurt you

Mother

When you push out a flower

And then try to force it back into your walls

You create a flame inside of you

And you push your child

Into that flame

Trying to change his color

Trying to get him to conform

You pushed that flower

Into that flame

Burning his petals

Your seed was hurting

Physically and emotionally

And you literally pushed that hurt inside of you

But your flower was stubborn

And that fire did not break him

It made him

Dark

Just like a black rose

- Bryan Sonnier (from The Great Wall of Bryan) 

[cigarsandpoetry-blog]

Diary of A Mad Black Bottom - Bryan Sonnier

[cigarsandpoetry-blog]

Of Dogs And Men

I took a much needed trip to my mind

I traveled long and hard

Crossed the dirt trail that once was the river of hope

Took the train of Optimism

All the way to the library of lost memories

And picked up a book entitled “Happiness”

It was a good read

Continuing on my journey to meet the wizard

I came to terms with myself and realized that magic cannot help me

So, I walked past the wizard as I would a kiosk

And kept pacing until I found the filing cabinet

This was no vacation

I came here to work

To take care of business

I opened the drawer of feelings and spotted the folder labeled “Love” and took it with me

It was in the wrong spot in my mind

The part where I keep genuine things

And love has no place there

I placed it in the library in the fiction section

I then took a trip to the zoo of animals I had not yet freed

I remember petting the dogs

And thinking to myself

You are so much like men

Attracted to me as you are to bones

Only seeing the outside of me

Lusting me

Craving me

I could write a story about the two of you

It would be the true story

Of Dogs And Men

- Bryan Q. Sonnier (from The Great Wall of Bryan)

[cigarsandpoetry-blog]

Comfortable

You begin to find comfort in loneliness

Something about the silence

The silence is so empty

It reminds me of myself sometimes

No lies or promises

Just silence and loneliness

You begin to find yourself

Dancing with the devil

It can be so riveting

It appears to be so right

To be angry and petty

I actually want to thank you

For breaking my heart once more

That’s what I get right?

For being so innocent

So optimistic

So sacrificial

It is actually my motivation

So I appreciate the push

It’s funny how when we were together

You never pushed me to reach my greatest potential

But here

In your absence

I am pushed

Here in your absence

I find darkness

It’s not as scary as you would think

It’s actually quite comfortable

I want to become so drenched

In my own arts and works and lyrics

That I forget your name once more

Poetry has become my way out of this

Hell hole that we call Earth

I am so motivated

I sat down smoked and got high

From the ashes that were my body

See I died for you

I sacrificed my old self for you

And it just hurts

It hurts so much

But who said hurting was a bad thing?

I started to look forward to hurting

It is always there

I wish I could have said the same for you 

- Bryan Sonnier (from The Great Wall of Bryan)

[cigarsandpoetry-blog]

Insomnia

The young and the restless are one

The prizes that no one has yet won

Hours past, days even

And there is nothing to believe in

Bags under eyes get so heavy

Carrying all of these tears like a levee

Losing yourself, losing sleep

Unable to mutter a peep

Insomnia can be described as

The result of believing that love is not fiction

Longing for nights where sleep does not require pills

And the devil stops trying to make deals

There are consequences of being a good person

People take and borrow with no thought of reimbursement

Losing pieces of yourself, losing sleep

Let the pain out if it gets too deep

Cry my love

Then go back to sleep

- Bryan Sonnier (from TGWOB) Get your copy here.

[cigarsandpoetry-blog]

Yesterday I Was Pulled Over

Yesterday I was pulled over

In Mississippi

My heart was sitting in my lap

Yesterday I was pulled over

My initial thought was I can’t afford a ticket

But my second thought was I can’t afford a coffin

My family can’t afford a coffin

Yesterday I was pulled over

In Mississippi

In America

With Melanin

That’s dangerous

That’s frightening

Yesterday I was pulled over

Please tell me you understand my fear

Please tell me you would remember me if anything happened to me

Yesterday

When I was pulled over

My insurance card was expired

Just as expired as I would have been

Had the creator not been with me

Because

Yesterday, I was pulled over

My limbs became numb

Breath became short

Gasping for air because I could already feel the noose around my neck

Yesterday

When I was pulled over

I imagined being a corpse

I was terrified

But in my vision

I was also slandered

They had no dirt on me

Yet,

Somehow

I was the villain

Somehow it was my fault

Somehow

Yesterday I was pulled over

Blue lights

Reminded me of

Blue

Blue like bruises

From brutality

Blue like the color

In a flag that was not made for me

Along with white

Yesterday

White like heaven

Red like the blood

The blood I could have shed

The blood I would have shed

Had it not been for the blood

Of my father

Of my creator

Of my hero

Yesterday I was pulled over

Thank God I can live

To tell the story myself

- Bryan Sonnier from (TGWOB) Get your copy here.