Elias had always hated being sick.
His immune system, luckily, was rather good at its job, so he was never sick that often unless he did something to really upset his body.
Like, for example, walk for a good while in one of the worst storms he’s seen in a while.
Whatever. go my 5.5k words of pure fluff and oc madness . this doodle finally gets its sequel after a yesr
@detective-piplup WRITE YOUR DAMN BOOK IDK HOW TO DIALOGUE WITH THESE TWO XD
Anyway. I know you were writing these scenes but. I forgor. And also kept thinking about them. Wolf man and Moon sage make me absolutely insane.
Write gets posted here because write your damn book. XD
--
[This high love that you give to me]
Bryant was not a subtle man. Hard to be such when his emotions were now displayed for full by this new set of ears and the bushy tail behind him.
Navy shrugged him off as he complained. "You've always worn your thoughts on your face. It was kind cute seeing you think you were doing a better job of hiding it."
He growled at her in a playful upset, using that new throat of his to its full advantage. Longer snout, better sounds. More smells to take in as well. As misshapen and marked as he was now, it was kind of a miracle that he could be read so easily even still.
Some part of him had to stay the same, he supposed. Some part of him that certainly wasn't his attraction to others.
It was definitely awkward at first, having to be in such close proximity to the man who had opposed him while he was possessed. Elias was a powerful sage, a worldly traveller, and a decent guy all around. Navy may not have seemed to trust him, but for Bryant, it was mostly guilt which kept him subdued.
"This was all my fault and I'm sorry." He said in admittance as they sat in their shared room.
Elias would be moving on soon enough. He had new places to see, more knowledge to pack into his mind. Elias smiled at him, kind as ever, and said, "You've been making amends. I can't fault you for actions that weren't your own, and neither should you."
His kindness, the way the moon's silvery light seemed to make him glow in the dark of the night, made Bryant forget to breathe for a minute. Made him grip his claws into the bedspread, made him mumble his next words in an attempt to bury his voice. "I'm sorry it got to you, as well. Maybe it wasn't me who performed as the Dark Lord, but I let the curse out."
"It was always going to find its way out." Elias said with such confidence that it seemed easier to believe. "The fact that it fell into your lap was just coincidence, nothing more."
It laid just below his tone; he trusted in the merit of Bryant's character.
If there was one thing Bryant wanted more than anything in that moment, it was to pull that subtlety out from beneath Elias' tongue and lay it as bare as the emotions on Bryant's face.
An odd impulse. One out of completely nowhere. Bryant shook it off, his tail puffing up at the imagined motion, and said in as soft a tone he could manage, "Thank you. I suppose, offering you grace and myself none would be a bit contradictory."
Elias smiled in agreement. "It would be quite unfair."
He smiled, glasses catching the light for a moment. He hid his left eye from view at all times. Lucky, then, that the curse chose that side to carve its mark into. Bryant's was on display the same as his ears and tail, the same as his claws and what fur couldn't be hidden beneath his clothes. It was one thing they were matched in where they were incompatible otherwise.
Had Bryant not had this moment of weakness, desperate to help his sister and himself out of their dead ends, he may never have crossed paths with this silver light of a man. He wouldn't have met Sam, either, and develop this strange attachment to the plush child.
Mostly, though, he was caught by this oddly thorny sensation in his chest. He owed this man a great deal, from helping pull that curse out of him to continuing to treat him as an equal. Bryant should have been shunned for releasing such mayhem into their strange corner of the cosmos, yet he was only met with open hands and a willingness for him to prove himself worthy of them. At its centre was this sage whom he couldn't quite get a read on.
Elias was beautiful, though. Bryant had no qualms in that observation.
It continued to compound, these small moments. Despite the snarl of needles twisting around his heart, poking into it at inopportune moments, Bryant never once let these sharper instincts show. He was polite to Elias, perhaps a touch too open, and Elias was kind in turn. That kindness continued to make Navy unwilling to trust him.
("He has to want something." She argued.
Bryant would argue right back, "What would we be able to give him he can't just find from his travels?"
It never satisfied her, but she wouldn't keep pressing the issue. And Bryant wondered why he would continually defend this sage's intentions when he had no idea of them himself.)
The man's unnatural though faint glow of silver bolstered hers and Bryant's own hesitance around him. It never made him wish to speak barbs to him, however. Snark, yes. A flippant roll of his eyes here, a wave of his hand in dismissal there, but never anything to pierce that shield of softness Elias seemed to radiate.
"I don't envy you that amount of responsibility." Elias said in response to all of Bryant's complaints.
They sat together at their current inn's table in the middle of the night. Elias was restless and Bryant couldn't settle his grumbling enough to sleep, so here they were, running into one another yet again. Like magnets fated to slam together no matter what. Like the universe itself was pushing them towards one another. Bryant sighed, clawing a hand through his hair and flattening his ears. At least not knocking against them this time. "Someone has to maintain that castle, I guess. No one else wants to, so I'm the best bet. Somehow."
"You'll be a fine King." Elias smiled at him, a sight which continually punched the air out of Bryant and made him aware of just how ensnared in thorns his chest was. "You have a kind hand with those like Sam and a fair hand when it comes to those like your sister. That's better than most, so I'm certain you've nothing to worry about."
"Besides the responsibility." Bryant reminded him.
"Yes, besides that."
Elias giggled into his hand and those thorns squeezed against Bryant's chest. Their piercing into his heart finally helped this unfamiliar sensation click right into place, as he stared at Elias and could think of nothing but how beautiful the man was, how this silver light about him dragged Bryant further away from the surface and air he needed to breathe.
There was a reason these things were called crushes.
There was a reason Bryant wished to dig those new claws into his chest and unfurl the many thorns pressing uncomfortably at his heart.
It wasn't so much a booming realisation as it was a gentle click. A final piece fitted into place to reveal the whole puzzle's picture. Bryant was taken by the sight of Elias smiling, of the man having fun in their conversation, and the quietness surrounding them never once faltered.
He hadn't known he could be attracted to another man.
He hadn't known he could be attracted to anyone, if he was being honest.
"Did you have any plans on when you'll be heading out again on your travels?" Bryant asked, stepping over that moment as lightly as he could. No need to jostle anything further. "Thank you again for accompanying us for now, by the way."
"I owe it to Sam to make sure he's taken care of." Elias said, voice smooth as he glanced towards the stairs leading up to the rooms. Dropping off each of Sam's friends in their respective homes was exhausting, but it had its own sort of charm. The little plush child had his own way of worming himself into the hearts of all he came across. "As for plans, I've nothing set in stone. Perhaps I'll stick around just long enough to watch your coronation."
"Ugh, please don't." Bryant grimaced at the thought, ears flattening on his head.
Laughter sparkles behind Elias' eye, though he was too polite to let it slip through. "That bad of a thought, is it?"
"Kinda, yeah." Bryant shook out his head, forcing his ears to stand upright once more. "You're right about the responsibility. But better to maintain the space than let it get occupied by something dark like that again."
"Yes, that is indeed for the best."
Elias smiled at him once more, this one a bit less gentle. This man has power, was a great sage, after all. They shared a scar from how badly things had gone when darkness lorded over that castle. They both knew far too intimately how helpless they could be when forced to watch their hands bring ruin to the worlds.
There was no reason for a travelled, worldly man with silver all but glowing out of him to find Bryant as anything else besides someone to pity.
Just another person to meet on his travels. Another soul assisted, another name to forget as the years passed and his travels continued.
Which was fine. It was surprising how well Bryant took that thought. The same sort of quiet realisation which led him to these thorns eased their pressure on his heart.
They called them crushes for a reason, he supposed.
He didn't hide it away, though. How could he when he was mostly incapable of any form of subtlety? He never admitted it outright, never let himself confess even in confidence, but he never stayed his hand or words when it hit him.
He wanted to pull laughter from this man, and so he did his best to make Elias laugh. He wished to spend time in the man's orbit, so he offered a place to stay whenever Elias came to check on Sam. To provide became its own act of expressing this blood which spilled from him with no intention of stoppering it.
It took time for him to start calling it love. Thorns curled around his heart, pressing against it with every breath he took, of course that couldn't be love. Not right away.
But it was.
It very much was.
There was nothing else to do about it than hope Elias could forgive him once more.
//
Attachment was not a thing Elias usually cared for. He could grow attached to others, was used to others growing attached to him, but severing those ties was inevitable, always. He liked to travel, after all. It was hard to keep in contact when he was always moving, when he lost those he did care for more often than not simply to distance and time.
Sam was very much not that. Sam was special and Elias desired nothing more than to take this plush child along with him so that they wouldn't have to part.
This was, however, an insane impulse. And could be considered kidnapping in the wrong light. So Elias simply made sure to continue visiting the child whenever his feet grew too weary of the distance and wound him back towards his friend.
Sam's choice of residence was the fully refurbished castle. The one where Bryant also made his home.
Bryant, whom Elias wasn't so sure he was as free from as he would have liked.
The man was, in a word, charming. Around him, Elias found himself lowering his walls, letting the man make him smile and laugh as they shared conversation. The added ears and tail which marked his transgression made his expressions rather open, hard to miss, and it was endlessly endearing. Despite all his claws and teeth which might ward many off, this sharpness drew Elias towards him.
It helped that Sam adored the man as much as he was attached to Elias. Often, Elias would see the child doodling the three of them together, an understanding of his circumstances Elias couldn't fault him for. He and Bryant did technically share custody of him, strange as it was to think of in that way.
Friendship seemed an incorrect label by this point. It was the best Elias had, however, and so he'd continue holding onto it.
Navy had asked him what he wanted with Bryant when they first met. Elias hadn't understood her meaning then. Now, it was a nagging which grew in the back of his mind the more he spent time with the man.
Bryant always welcomed him with a smile, with a generosity that seemed unbefitting of his nature. It was infectious, that smile of his. Elias couldn't help smiling in return, couldn't help smiling even now despite only thinking about it.
Sometimes it came unbidden, this desire to run his hands through Bryant's hair or brush the fur of his tail. More than once, he caught himself wishing to grab Bryant's arm as they walked alongside each other down the halls, talking about anything and everything. Allowing himself some tactile teasing, while fun, would be a step too far, however. Would drop that pretense of friendship and launch him into something he wasn't sure he was ready to confront.
Unfortunately, once something became too obvious to ignore, it was hard to shove it back into its corner.
All it took was one time, just once, as he stared at Bryant beside him, sitting on one of the castle's balconies. Just once, letting his mind slip and imagining what it would be like to kiss this man.
Kiss him. Elias wanted to kiss him.
Elias couldn't just call this friendship anymore.
He stood from the bench, mind screaming, but managed to keep his tone calm. "I think it's time I get back to my travels."
Bryant stood as well, confused. "Right now?"
He was cute like this, tilting his head just enough to get his ears angled. Elias said in confirmation, "Yes. Right now."
He pivoted quickly and strode back inside, heading directly for his room. Bryant scrambled to catch up with him, his ears drooping atop his head. "Well. Do you need any more supplies before you do? Can I help get you anything?"
"I have what I need, thank you."
Being terse with the man wasn't ideal, but Elias needed to get out. He had to run until he could scream. Bryant didn't follow him inside his room, waiting just outside as he packed his things as neatly as he could. "Safe travels, then. Sam should be in the dining hall, since it's nearly time to eat."
Sam. Right. Elias couldn't leave without wishing the child well. When Elias turned to thank him once more, he was startled by the expression on Bryant's face.
Mourning. Wistful. The man would truly miss him.
As if Elias ever had any doubts of that.
It was like seeing him in brand new light, a completely new context helping him pick up on every detail. His beauty, his softness, his claws and sharp nature; everything about him was suddenly too much.
He wasn't even trying to dissuade Elias from leaving. He understood Elias better than most, another point ringing alongside this awful, awful realisation.
"Take care, Bryant." He said, unwilling to leave it unsaid.
Bryant smiled at him, gentle and kind and wonderful, and Elias hurried on his way. The only stop he made was to wish Sam well, then he was out of this castle, out of this place, free to grapple with this sudden shift throwing him off balance.
He wasn't ready to love.
He wasn't ready to settle, to place roots, to anchor himself more than he was all ready.
He wasn't ready to bare himself, to pry open his chest and allow anyone else inside such an uncompromising place.
Oh, how he wished he could take this thought and send it careening far past the stars. How he wished he could quash this new bloom, could strangle it before it could wrap its thorns around his heart.
But it was too late for that. It was far too late to tear himself away from these desires. It may have made its presence known in a pouncing realisation, but it was a wave which had been growing this whole while. The full weight of it crashing down on him all at once was enough to drive him to flee far past his usual straying. It was enough to make him tear himself away from all that warmth and pretend like he could be fine on his own.
Being alone wasn't foreign to him. He'd had friends, mentors who helped him carve out his identity, his own life. He was well aware of the many hands he'd held as he worked to stand proudly on his own feet. Being called a Great Sage didn't come from nothing, after all.
The thought of slashing through this tie, of abandoning Sam especially, was a voice of desperation. Was the cowardice in him resurfacing where he'd thought he'd been completely rid of it.
It was childish, this automatic reaction to chuck out something not going his way.
No matter how he ran, these traitorous thoughts followed him. Some nights, he would dream of tangling his fingers into Bryant's hair, of staring into the man's eyes despite the picturesque sunset around them. Some days, he would have to force himself to keep moving forward, to not follow his feet back to his heart in the castle.
It was his heart. His own heart. He shouldn't have had to wrestle control over his own heart!
Attachment, he decided, especially that of the romantic kind, he was very much better off without. Were it not for his obligations to Sam, he would never return to that castle.
Not returning was just as painful as this snare squeezing his chest. He could rip his heart in half and it would be less agonising than this.
Only when he was certain that the distance would kill him, he wound his way back. He was nervous, of course. How could he manage now that this truth was raw in his breast? Still, he couldn't shy away any longer. He returned to Bryant's castle, returned to his Sam. Nothing else pulled his feet to this place besides the sackling. Nothing else made him run from it, either.
Bryant opened the door for him, grinning as usual with an exuberant, "Hey, come on in. Sam'll be happy to see you."
His teeth were sharp. Elias was losing this battle. "You're happy to see me, too, aren't you?" He asked in a tease. In a flirt.
Bryant laughed, good natured and willing to side step Elias' cue. "I'm always happy to see you. Come in, we're about to eat."
He motioned for Elias to follow with a nod, tail wagging behind him. Displaying how pleased he was without compromise. Elias thought it would be easier, going off and telling himself that this was just a lapse in his judgement. Being back, however, thrust him right back into that drowning sensation.
There was no treading these waters. There was no surfacing after sinking to the depths he had.
It was embarrassing, but he couldn't lie to himself about this. He had to take in a gulp of air, the only breath he was going to get, and then swim towards the darkness and depths. He followed Bryant inside, knocking against his shoulder in an admission of his desire for this man's touch.
Bryant grinned at him, radiating so much light that it was near blinding to look at. There was no way Elias could turn away from him again.
Perhaps he could learn to live with this pressure in his chest.
//
He said it as easily as breathing.
"Take care on your travels."
He loved him.
"Is it that late all ready? Sorry, seems we got carried away again."
He loved him.
"Don't be shy about eating well while you're here. I know it's hard to get a decent meal while you're travelling sometimes, so. We're here to provide whatever comfort we can while you're here."
He loved him, he loved him, he loved him.
Bryant didn't mean for it to drip so honey thick from his words like that. He simply wanted to care for Elias while the man was here, wanted to spend time with him and offer him a warm place to lay. Though much less travelled than the sage, Bryant knew how difficult it was to scrape resources together. Knew what it took to look after more than just himself. He did his best not to overstep, not to treat Elias as if he couldn't care for himself. The fact that Elias would accept all his acts of gentleness, he supposed, was proof enough that he had to be doing a good enough job at it.
The fact that Elias, in turn, would reciprocate some of this softness, only heightened that elation dancing in his heart.
A gentle touch on his shoulder. "Bryant, did you get enough rest?"
A light brush against his back. "You should go eat. I'll handle things here."
A tug on his arm. "Let's find somewhere quieter, okay?"
He loved him, he loved him, he loved him.
As easily as breathing. As mesmerising as the churning of a waterfall.
Bryant didn't want to read too much into it, didn't want to simply assume. Elias simply was his friend. His dear friend whom he shared their little Sam with, but a friend nonetheless.
This swirling melody of affection tangled around them long before Bryant had recognised it. Was comfortably the only thing he could hear too often as he spent time with his friend.
It made for the perfect accompaniment as Bryant suggested one mild evening, "The view of the sky must be dazzling right now."
He offered his hand towards his friend, who accepted without any hesitation. "I know just where we should view it, then."
Push and pull. Catch and reel in.
Bryant could think of no better dance to partake in.
They slipped out of the castle together and walked into the wilderness surrounding it. Elias never let go of Bryant's hand and Bryant walked at his side, navigating the undergrowth with ease. He inhaled the deep and rich scent of the trees, the night, and the chill in the air. "Yeah. Much better out here all ready."
"Less overwhelming things, for sure." Elias agreed.
Bryant relaxed his shoulders, tail loose behind him. It was a full moon in the sky, shining its silvery light down on them, and gave Elias a brighter glow than he normally held. The moonlight suited him. He was radiant under its light. Bryant couldn't shy away from the sight even if he wanted to.
This was part of their dance, however. Never stepping too close, always leaving the nature of this tie ambiguous.
He didn't take any other action besides giving Elias' hand a gentle squeeze.
Elias reciprocated, as he had been doing more and more.
They reached a break in the trees, arriving at the shores of the lake. Bryant settled instantly into a spot on the dirt, pulling Elias down beside him. They sat a little too close, pressing into one another's side, and stared out into the gentle ripples across the lake's dark surface. The reflection of the moon splayed across the waters wasn't bright enough to sting and warbled with every ripple, a hypnotising display.
Resting his head on Elias's shoulder, Bryant said in a low murmur, "It's beautiful, huh?"
"Absolutely."
The smile was evident in Elias' equally soft tone. He rested his head against Bryant's, continuing to hold onto Bryant's hand as well.
He loved him.
"Let me know if you get too cold."
He loved him.
"Would've been nice if we brought a blanket, but. I guess, I have my cape."
He loved him.
Elias laughed, an absolutely breathtaking noise in the relative quiet of the night.
"You're keeping me warm as it is, but I'll let you know."
He loved him.
The message being repeated back to him was startling. He'd been coating it in every word, every action, not really meaning to be overbearing but needing some sort of outlet to that honey pouring from his mouth. He hadn't wanted to read into it on Elias' part, yet the echo was difficult to miss when it was repeated so blatantly right back at him.
He loved him.
They were in agreement.
He loved him.
It wasn't just in Bryant's head.
He loved him.
… But confirming it was a bit too terrifying a thought for the moment, so Bryant closed his eyes and relaxed in his friend's presence.
It was an added step to their dance around one another. They could spin around this truth they both recognised, could pepper their mutual affections against each other with reckless abandon, but always separated in the end. Never spoken outright, never confirmed for the fear that it would shatter this comfortable deniability between them.
He knew Elias loved him. Elias knew he loved him.
They said it as easy as breathing in every other way besides those words.
For a traveller as steady as the moon and a wolf made reluctant king, that was enough for now.
