Nov 7, 2025
Some angels on Christmas Eve. ❄️🌟❄️
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Some angels on Christmas Eve. ❄️🌟❄️
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part 18.3 cw: early miscarriage mention
If any scene said “welcome home” for Jamie, it would have been Jessica and Ian, working side by side at the dining room table with their papers sprawled all over—his, grad studies coursework; and hers, kindergarten homework to grade. Jamie set her suitcase inside the door. “I don’t think you two have moved in five days.”
“He he,” Jessica snickered. “How was Seattle?”
That question was loaded. It had been life changing. But Jamie simply answered, “Great!”
She looked over them both. Her prim little sister and sloppy Ian Thompson. Jessica really turned him right around. Now he was studying for his master’s degree and making something of his life. He changed her, too, loosening her tight grip on everything, probably spending a little too much time on his hookah.
You can’t change your partner, except, well, when you can? But they both wanted the change. They met in the middle and were both better for it. So it worked.
Jamie wouldn’t let herself feel too resentful that she couldn’t change Lou in the same way. Lou wouldn’t budge an inch because she didn’t want to.
Except for his clothes on the floor and that shaggy hair he would never cut, but those must have been compromises Jessica was willing to make. Jessica could decide that for herself. He was a little rough around the edges, but he wasn’t Jamie’s problem to solve. He was fine enough for her sister, but Jamie didn’t want to live with him anymore. She didn’t want to live with her sister anymore. She didn’t want to be here.
Stepping back into this life felt stale.
part 18.5
Lou still went to the gym at 5 a.m. every morning and grabbed a cappuccino on her way to the courthouse. She still sat in depositions and arranged evidence, and lately, she even ran her own whole trial. She would order a sandwich at the cafe and work through lunch. She’d finish around six, never earlier, and half the time she would stop by her sister’s place for a minute because it was on the way home.
She could very well carry on with life like nothing was different.
That was saying something. Shouldn’t it feel more different?
That was Jamie’s whole problem, Lou realized. She could be entirely gone to the other side of the country and it wouldn’t feel much different than it ever was. And that, Lou also realized, probably made her a bad girlfriend.
Lou’s apartment was empty. The morning after Jamie left her key, Lou poked around the apartment and found that all of her things were already gone. Her toothbrush, her clothes, her journal.
Lou never asked her to move in, officially and permanently. Why? She kept asking, “Why?” Would Lou have wanted that from anyone? Did she really want to be alone forever? Because who would even have her, with all her quirks and needs and faults? She didn’t particularly love being entirely alone—she just liked her time and space when she wanted it, how she wanted it, for as long as she wanted it. Lord, would a baby put a cramp in that lifestyle!
That photo of them all as kids. Lou couldn’t stop staring at it, wondering if she should keep it or take it down. It came from such an innocent time. But something else stood out to her from the photos of her life. Her sister. Her first best friend. At least her sister couldn’t dump her. Probably. Though she had probably come close a time or two.
After plenty of solitude, Lou longed for the noise and chaos of her sister’s busy little house, now full of girls and boys and animals and insects of all kinds.
part 18.4
Jamie had hardly unpacked before she began packing again. She would take Laney and Wesley up on the offer to use that spare pirate bedroom. It wouldn’t be forever, just long enough to check out some apartments and get on her feet. Her editing job was remote, so she didn’t even need to look for new work.
And Laney loved that idea, too. She and Wesley had been talking about living together permanently, only neither of them could decide who should move first or what was fair. Laney having a friend out there in Seattle felt like a push in a sensible direction for the indecisive couple.
So Jamie arranged all of the important things. She transferred her lease here to Jessica and Ian. She set up a forwarding address, booked her movers, and browsed for a new doctor and dentist.
She would leave the most important thing to do last.
Meanwhile, she and Raquel stayed in contact over their emails, much as they had for the past few weeks. Write me a poem about longing, Raquel asked. Jamie was shy to share her poetry, but not with Raquel.
I reach for her like chasing a sunset I’ll never catch, over the horizon again and again. How light bleeds. You foolish, silly girl. Don’t you know it’s impossible to hold light?
But that poem wasn’t about Raquel just because she asked for one. Perhaps others had been and many more would be. But this poem was about something else bright and unreachable. Something Jamie had felt slipping between her fingers for fourteen years. On and off for over a decade. Maybe that meant something?
part 18.2
Jamie came to Seattle for more than just books. And more than a visit with an old childhood friend. Mainly, though nobody else knew it, she came for Raquel.
Jamie knew of Raquel, the girl who got dumped so her girlfriend could compete and lose on a dating show. Jamie was a huge fan of Dating Deanna, like so many were, all those gorgeous women and juicy drama. But the thing that stuck with Jamie the most was somebody who never made it onto the show at all. Our hometown sweetheart, dumped and jilted and downtrodden. Raquel. She was adorable. She seemed sweet. She did nothing wrong except put all her eggs in the wrong basket for too long.
Jamie could relate.
Raquel was becoming a minor celebrity in online circles. She was a journalist before all of this, already mildly known for her work in Sierra Sun Magazine, and when the show hit, her online presence was flooded with opinions, well wishes, death threats to Sarah! “No, don’t do that,” Raquel insisted. Even in her pain, she was that generous.
Jamie liked a few of her posts. She commented here and there, but she was just one voice in the large sea of the whole internet. She never expected Raquel to notice her back. Raquel answered some of her comments and followed her. Their words were natural together. Jamie was a writer, too—a poet, mostly, published a few times and totally unknown, while working as a children’s book editor. They both knew how to bend words into the shape of something magical. Is that what this was? An illusion fashioned by two writers, a dance of words?
There was a book fair happening in Seattle where Raquel would read from her forthcoming book. Jamie couldn’t explain why she just needed to know this woman. To meet her. Not as a fan, or admirer, or internet mutual. More.
“I’m going to tell you a story about betrayal,” Raquel started.
Jamie took a seat in the front row and tried not to feel that Raquel was reading the passage directly to her, because that was how it felt when their eyes met between sentences. Jamie glanced to the other faces in the room, feeling spoiled on all this attention, hoping she wasn’t imagining it. Many others continued to do their own things, browsing books, making their phone calls.
It could have been just the two of them, locked into this story as the room went on with its business. Jamie smiled.
part 18.1
Jamie invited Lou to the book fair, but Lou couldn’t take the time off. Or she wouldn’t. She was up for a promotion at work, and it was far too important to her to be worth the risk. Lou didn’t have a passion for books the way Jamie did. Lou had no room in her life for fantasy and make-believe, whimsy and imagination. Even less patience for poetry, with its metaphors and hidden meanings. “Why don’t you just say what you really mean?”
But that was fine, probably. Jamie would attend the book fair with their friend, Laney, instead, who lived out here in Seattle part-time with her congressman boyfriend, Wesley.
Would Lou even realize Jamie was gone? She seemed so avoidant lately, so maybe not. So Jamie left her journal on Lou’s kitchen counter, open to this week in January, so that Lou might even know where she went. And Lou would certainly be jealous, since it had always been Lou who held a tiny candle for their very straight childhood friend.
While in town, Jamie would stay in Wesley’s spare room, which his brother had occupied before her, still with a pirate painting on the wall.
Laney was glad to have her friend in town. She was lonely when she spent time out here, leaving so much of her life back home in Wisconsin. And Wesley was busy so often. “Stay as long as you like.”
“Just the weekend will be fine,” Jamie said.
“I know it’s not your style—or anyone’s style, probably. But… you’re a writer, what's the word for it? It’s like, not great, but it’s free and it’s fine?”
“Acquiescence?” Jamie offered. Lou used that word a lot in her legal work, but in life it had further connotations. To accept less than what you originally wanted, to settle. The bed was comfortable, at least. “How long do you usually stay here?”
“A weekend a month, then he tries to do the same back at home. Apart from election season, which always comes up pretty fast. Midterms, you know?”
impromptu part 17.4 of 18… because gameplay happened and it was hilarious, lol!
This little family is having a rough time tonight.
Darwin Hadley came home from the courthouse feeling a deep pit of despair. And maybe most people feel that way after interacting with Colette? He had told her that he was seeing someone, which wasn't entirely a lie. He had seen someone. Once. And she was... fine. But it wasn’t quite the sweeping romance he had implied. Colette might have known that, after all, since she was there the night it happened.
Amaya Hadley is also having a rough time tonight. She is nearly twelve years old, motherless, and just got her first period. It sucks. But you know what sucks worse? She still has to do her homework, anyway.
But let's flash back to a couple weeks ago…
Darwin found a date for himself on Cupid's Corner. Her name was Esme, and he knew only that she was kind of pretty and that she liked books. It seemed a fine enough place to start, since attempting to date someone he already knew (Colette) had gone disastrously bad.
He met her at a local bar, and the first thing Esme did was insult him.
He was astounded and too shocked to think. Perhaps he had misheard her? At least Colette made it a few hours into their date before pissing him off. Esme made it about 10 seconds.
Against his better judgment, he decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, and they went into the bar to get to know each other.
It couldn’t really get worse, could it?
But having Colette on the brain, Darwin must have summoned her from the universe. Maybe she was now his curse and she would haunt him like a phantom (or demon?) for the rest of his life.
He didn’t notice her at first, but Colette did notice him. Any woman with a shred of grace would have found another bar and let him have his peace, but we’re talking about Colette here. It was ladies night, and she was entitled to her one free drink. And however many more she wanted to purchase at a discount. So she would stay!
Menace to society or not, Colette took what was owed to her.
Darwin did his best to ignore her and carry on with his date, but she made herself hard to ignore.
(Shift-click delete object… but she respawned again and again. She insisted on this!)
Esme was confused. “Do you know this lady?”
“Unfortunately,” Darwin answered, as Colette literally took Esme’s seat on the barstool next to him. He was so embarrassed, but determined to see this date to its probable bitter end.
They found another table and tried their best to ignore her, but Colette hovered around them and threw death stares in their direction.
Was she jealous? Because one night two months ago they had a disastrous date and now she thought he owed her something?
(Yes, an official romantic relationship from one unsuccessful date. Thank you, game.)
The night ended better than it began, which is not saying much because, remember, the night began with an insult.
He was unimpressed, but still wondering to himself whether he'd hear from Esme again. (Hoping, of course, to not hear from Colette again.)
He wouldn't have to wait very long for an answer! A few hours after the date, Esme texted to ask if he'd be interested in joining a Love Highland challenge?
What even?
It felt like a very round about way of saying, "Go try a dating challenge, because I don't want to see you again."
He did not respond to this ridiculousness. Which left him both kind of seeing someone while also planning to probably not to see her again. Thus, he technically did not lie to Colette at the courthouse. But he also didn't really tell the truth. And as a self-proclaimed good man, that kind of twisted him up a little.
Mostly, it made him realize one thing—as a widower of four years, he was finally finished being alone. Decidedly. It was time to enter the dating scene for real. Even if not with Esme. And definitely not with Colette.
Just, not on a dating show. He is a single father, after all. And, likely, far too boring for something like that.
— “bad girlfriend” part 17.4/18
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part 16.2 of 18
Tonight’s gathering was cheerful and friendly. Lou hadn’t really expected it to be otherwise. She and Jordan had established a sort of truce, her sister was talking to her again, and with Jamie gone, nobody else had any drama or festering grudges to ruin the night.
Laney and her congressman boyfriend had glitzier parties to attend. “Good,” Jordan muttered. “That guy is kind of a douche.”
To which, nobody really disagreed.
Over the years, different partners had come and gone from the group. Not everyone had been a great fit, as you might expect from these young adulthood relationships. And this group here, were they keepers? It was possible. Or, even, for some of the more precarious pairings, very hopeful.
As they waited for the ball drop countdown to begin, some of them flipped through channels and eventually landed on a rerun of the series finale of Dating Deanna.
“Spoiler alert,” Jessica announced.
“No spoilers here,” Leo said. “We’ve already seen all of it.”
“Whoa, since when are you into bachelorette shows?” Lou teased her brother.
“We all watched it back at the dorms,” Leo said. “We had to. We went to school with one of those girls. She’s kind of a campus legend. The one who dumped her girlfriend flat on her ass to go on that show. Then she lost the show anyway.”
“Ha ha, karma,” Leilani laughed proudly. “I hated those girls. They were such bitches to me.”
(Actually, Leilani, you were kind of a bitch to them, but nobody present today was in that hot tub that day, and so your tidy little lie will pass.)
“The relationship was obviously not working out,” Lou said, defending Sarah, whom she’d never met a day in her life. Of course, she and Jamie had watched the show, too. Jamie had been particularly obsessed, while Lou enjoyed it as something to watch casually in the background with so many gorgeous women to follow! They both had their favorites. What Sarah did never struck Lou as exactly wrong. Immature, impulsive, cold? Sure. But not wrong. “She took a chance on something wild, and she never lied about it. You only live once. They probably would have broken up anyway.”
She shared that opinion with Jamie once, and it hadn’t gone over well. Like it was a universal truth that you were supposed to side with Raquel in this ugly breakup between two people that most of them never actually met.
“Well, I feel bad for Raquel,” Leilani said. “Whatever happened to loyalty?”
The discussion never got more heated than that. The night went on. The food was eaten and enjoyed. Everyone was having a fine time, and little JoJo was still awake as the hours counted down. Ten. Eleven. Eleven-thirty.
Lou felt somber and heavy with thought as the others enjoyed food and conversation. There was no room at the dining table, but Lou didn’t mind sitting alone to eat in the living room, lost in her own head, then clearing everyone’s dishes as her analytical mind processed the most minute details of the night.
A name that wouldn’t leave her mind. Raquel. And why?
Because that name had been written in Jamie’s handwriting in that journal beside the writers’ conference in Seattle on January 4th.
— "bad girlfriend" part 16.2/18
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