#bsmfh

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I was rereading be still my foolish heart and Mousewhiskers time in the dark forest is straight up making him sound like an incel lol.

Hmm. The Dark Forest is exploiting his deep-rooted insecurities to turn him against his Clan for their own benefit. They're bringing out the worst in him, which is something I don't want to shy away from -- it's a toxic enviorment and it permeates everyone's personalities.

I wouldn't consider him an incel because I associate incels with being hostile towards women specifically, which Mousewhisker isn't, but I can see where you might draw that conclusion because of some of his other behavior.

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I feel bad for breezepelt lol. Heathertail was interested in lionblaze first, mousewhisker was in love with hollyleaf first, the odds of someone falling in love with jayfeather first and then him are higher than they should be.

Unfortunetly you're correct, lol. I know we haven't had a peek into Breezepelt's head, but that is certainly something he's noticed as well and it feeds into his resentment; he's never anyone's first choice.

BUT I will add -- Breezepelt has never been particually friendly, even as an apprentice! I can't begrudge Heathertail or Mousewhisker for not making him their first choice.

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🙏 and 🔮 for be still my foolish heart?

re: this ask game!

🙏 Was there anything your character(s) really really really wanted to do? Did you let them?

Mousewhisker reaaaaaally wanted to go into an insecure downward spiral lol. Kidding! But only a little. This is another fic that was meant to be a one-shot but turned into a multichap, so I never intended on delving so deep into Mousewhisker's insecurities, but the more I wrote him, the more they seemed to color all of his interactions to the point where it was unavoidable.

🔮 Have you imagined what happens to [character(s)] in the future? Or does the story only exist to you as a moment in time?

Kinda? I don't have a very clear vision of the end of the fic (I know the main plot beats, but that's it) and those main beats allude to a certain ending, but I can't see the details. The closer I get to it, though, the more I'll think about the future beyond the fic. I will say, the ending is not intended to be open-ended.

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pirate flag again, for be still my foolish heart please!

re: this ask game!

🏴‍☠️Were there any points in which your characters tried (or succeeded) to commit mutiny against your planned plot? Where did they most want to rebel?

The drama with Foxleap was all completely unplanned lol. Foxleap is one of my favorite background characters, so I always knew that he would be included as Mousewhisker's friend, but his role wasn't supposed to evolve after chapter one; it was meant to be a very surface-level friendship. But Foxleap weaseled his way into a bigger role (which I did try to resist at first! I felt like Mousewhisker already had too much going on in his life between Hollyleaf, Breezepelt, and the Dark Forest, but eventually I caved for the drama of it all).

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Ivypool passed the hunting portion with flying colors; Hazeltail only has praise to heap upon her. Dovewing failed to make a single catch, but Firestar insists that her role in Icecloud’s rescue is enough to grant her a warrior name. 

Because Dovewing is Clan-borne, and Firestar would never embarrass a Clan-borne apprentice by failing their assessment, whispers a voice in the back of his head. The voice used to sound like Hawkfrost and Mapleshade and Brokenstar, but these days, it sounds more and more like his own voice. If I were Dovewing, I would be forced to endure another moon of training before retaking my assessment.

It just isn’t fair. 

Strangely, as Mousewhisker’s attention shifts from Dovewing to Ivypool, he gets the feeling that her sister is thinking the same thing. 

— the rage in me is terminal (be still my foolish heart (don’t ruin this for me, c7)

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“I didn’t think Breezepelt had any friends in the other Clans,” Mapleshade remarks.

“I don’t,” Breezepelt sneers.

Mousewhisker shuffles his paws against the wet dirt. “I didn’t call us friends.”

A mischievous light flickers inside Mapleshade’s amber eyes. “No, you didn’t, did you?” She looks back at Breezepelt. “How very interesting, Breezepelt. You never mentioned this.”

“Mousewhisker isn’t interesting enough to warrant a mention,” retorts Breezepelt, callous and cruel.

It strikes a nerve. Irritated, Mousewhisker responds, “Interesting enough to dream about though, right?”

— low on self-esteem so you run on gasoline (be still my foolish heart (don’t ruin this for me, c6)

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I wonder what exactly Hazel sees in Thornclaw in the first place tbh

Is she attracted to old guys who sit and just complain a lot? Which I mean.. fair enough lol, but Thornclaw as a whole just doesn't seem like the kind of cat who returns those feelings a lot. Or at all

It will be funny for him and Mouse to just see each other in the df

Mouse like "Yeah, I am pretty angry, at all these cats. Like Thornclaw who constantly- oh hey, what are you doing here."

The legitimate awsner is that Thorn/Hazel gained popularity yearss ago before Thornclaw became such a massive jerkface and before Hazeltail died and so that is unfortunately the ship I immediately associate Hazeltail with.

The in-story awsner is that Thornclaw and Foxleap are the only single toms in ThunderClan that Hazeltail could be paired with (she's related to Toadstep, Spiderleg is her ex-step dad, and Bumblestripe is too young) and at this point in the fic Thornclaw is a respected senior warrior and a strong fighter and fiercely loyal to ThunderClan, and I've always assumed all of the Frostfur kits are attractive, so. I think a serious lady like Hazeltail would be attracted moreso to him verses somebody younger and carefree like Foxleap.

If I wanted to make Hazeltail happy then I would actually pair her with a she-cat (Icecloud, probably! But also Cinder/Honey/Poppy would work great too!). But I do need her to have her pitiful crush on Thornclaw because. Well. Hopefully I've done a good job of showing that Mousewhisker has a habit of putting cats on pedestals and then struggling when they fall. He really does respect his sister so to see her fall in the same trap as him (pining over a cat who will never return their feelings) really bothers him.

And yeah I'm pretty excited for Mousewhisker to find Thornclaw in the dark forest lol. He's definitely going to have feelings about that!

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“You know that Thornclaw is never going to return your feelings, right?”

Hazeltail stiffens.

Keeping his voice low, he goes on. “He’s never going to get past the fact that you aren’t Clan-borne. No matter how hard you work to prove him wrong, he’s always going to look down on you - down on us. You should stop wasting your time on him.”

“You would know all about wasting your time on someone,” Hazeltail retorts.

“Yeah, I would,” Mousewhisker agrees. “It’s pathetic. And maybe I’m fine with looking pathetic, but you’re better than me, Hazeltail. You shouldn’t moon over dusty toms who can’t stop talking about how great the old forest was.”

— be still my foolish heart (don’t ruin this for me, c5)