So I've been looking at your blog for a while and some posts kind of give a vibe of you liking to share / wanting to be a cuck, buut you also said in an ask you are very possessive. So I wonder how those 2 coexist for you?
Okay well first of all thank you for even bothering to follow me!
Hmmm this is a hard question to answer. 🤔
I’ll try my best not to be completely contradictory but to be honest it is a contradiction within myself that I’m still figuring out.
First and foremost I love seeing my partner receiving pleasure, it is far and away my biggest kink. If I can give them that pleasure that’s absolutely wonderful, if a toy can give them that pleasure that’s amazing, if someone else is what gives them that pleasure then it’s going to give me pleasure. I also have a humiliation kink so the elements of cuckolding that play to my insecurities about not being good enough are also a turn on. In addition to that I can be extremely submissive and the power dynamic of sharing plays heavily into that.
So next is my possessiveness. I would definitely call myself possessive but not in a way that is controlling. My possessiveness is a very internal thing, I need to feel like you’re mine as much as I’m yours. That doesn’t mean I need a partner to wear a collar or even be exclusive to me, but it does mean that I want to be the only one calling you mine. In other words I want you to be as obsessed with me as I am with you. It doesn’t have to be in the same way, but it has to be me. For example I’m going to be obsessed with your pleasure and the worship of you, but you might be obsessed with humiliating and hurting me. That’s fine as long as it’s just for me, as long as it’s me that you want and need and not just someone. So maybe it’s more accurate to say I’m obsessive and I want mutual obsession rather than to say I’m possessive? I’m not sure.
All that said, my feelings are obviously very complicated. Not just because it plays on some very real insecurities for me, but also because it involves tremendous trust and I do have some trust issues involving partners as well as just some trust/abandonment issues in general. For me personally the only difference between the intimate humiliation of watching a partner choose a toy over me vs. sharing my partner or being a cuck for them is the emotional stakes are much higher in the latter case. I’ll skip the details so as not to bore you but I have not actually engaged with sharing or cuckolding since the first time I tried it, however, with the right partner I would absolutely be open to it again. I would, however, definitely need a level of reassurance and intimacy that may ruin the feeling of it for my partner.
So in conclusion, how do I balance my possessiveness and my submissive tendency towards cuckolding/sharing? I haven’t managed to successfully do it yet. Sorry to ramble on for so long just to give you a cop out answer 😅