REQUEST: @scorpionchild81 : may I ask for an imagine with James Buchanan Barnes: Imagine Bucky being totally clueless about the pregnancy hints reader had presented to him. So finally, she puts the ultrasound in a empty dossier, marking it and putting it on his desk among his other unfinished paperwork since his last mission...
Author's note: This was pretty difficult for me, to be honest. I don't like children and even thinking about pregnancy sends a cold shiver down my spine. I'm afraid my discomfort spoiled the quality, for which I sincerely apologize.
Imagine Bucky being very oblivious about your pregnancy. Tired of giving him small hints, you decide to drop the news more directly.
His obliviousness would have been sitcom-worthy if it wasn't so frustrating. Truthfully, that frustration was also on you: you could simply tell him but that turned out to be a lot more difficult than Hollywood made it seem. You can't just come up to someone and tell them you're pregnant with their child. Or rather, you can't. It wasn't that you feared him leaving you, no, "family" was something the two of you had discussed even before getting married and agreed that you're ready to pursue it. Logically speaking, it shouldn't be a surprise that you have found yourself in this situation. Both of you wanted to have children and were trying to have them, so why on Earth were you so nervous about it?
You knew that the sooner you tell him, the better. It wasn't okay to keep a father in the dark about his own children. You just didn't know how to bring it up. At first, it was just small hints: pregnancy test in the toilet bin, suggesting that you're sick in the morning, showing clear interest in decorating a nursery or browsing clothes for newborns. The time went by and Bucky's obliviousness seemed to not be going anywhere.
That meant you had to, unfortunately, go for some more drastic measures. If that won't work you will have no other option but to tell him openly that he's going to be a father - an option you wanted to avoid at all costs.
You stared at the ultrasound in your hand. As they usually are, it is hard to tell what it shows. In the centre of the image was a black area with a greyish-white bean inside, circled by the doctor with a red marker. The realization made you feel weird: in seven more months, that "bean" will be a human being, growing inside you. The feeling of odd quickly disappeared as you felt yourself become emotional. You were going to become a mother.
A sigh left your lungs as you made your way to James' study. The two of you had a silent agreement that you generally don't enter the room unless absolutely necessary. He didn't want you to know details about the dangers and malice he has to face every day and, frankly, you didn't want to either. However, this situation called for all measures.
The study was a mess. Orphaned papers and files scattered across the floor and the desk, newspaper snippets stuck to the wall with remarks written in red on them, two old mugs placed in any vacant place that he could find atop the desk.
One of the files, specifically the one you were looking for, had last week's date on the folder. Knowing James, he will go over it once or twice more, to make sure no detail was overlooked. Trying as gently as you might, you lifted the cover of the folder and placed the printed out ultrasound on top of the first page, right in the centre. There was no way he could miss that unless he loses his sight.
A feeling of dread nested in your chest. Now there was no way the information would go unnoticed: the needle was on the record, it was time to face the music.
"I'm home," he called out entering the flat. You didn't have to see his face to know he was absolutely exhausted. Maybe it wasn't the best state for someone to be in when you're going to tell them about their child?
"Hey love," you called back to him.
Bucky came home late, which wasn't exactly surprising. As usual, you were making dinner and he went into his study to put back his belongings. You could hear the shuffling of papers coming from the room. That heart in your chest barely stayed in its designated place. You were becoming hot and your hands started to tremble. How long could it take someone to open one file and see a picture?
You were dressing the table when the door to Bucky's study creaked as he opened them. His steps were slow as if his mind was occupied with something else.
"(Y/N)?" he called out to you.
You lifted your head only to see him standing mere meters away from you, ultrasound in his right hand. The two of you stood in tense silence, just staring at each other.
"Congratulations...?" you said without certainty. What does one even say in a moment like this? "I know I should have told you in a more open way but I just couldn't."
"How long...?" he began.
"Eight weeks."
His eyes went back to the ultrasound. Bucky stared at the picture for a few more minutes without saying a single word. Without lifting his gaze, he spoke:
"I've got seven months to decorate," he said under his breath.
You couldn't help but laugh, feeling the dread and stress leaving your body. He was going to be a father and right now he worried about whether seven months is enough to decorate and paint a room for a newborn.
James lunged at you, his arms engulfing you in a tight hug. You were quite sure you saw his eyes become red, glistening with tears.
"I'm going to be a dad," he whispered.
"You're going to be an amazing father, James."
You just made a hundred-year-old man cry. What do you have to say for yourself?
Hiraeth: (n.) “longing or deep yearning for a place, time, feeling or person long gone; or that never was.”
Summary: Things have changed for those who opposed the Sokovian accords. They spend a Christmas together.
*very tiny chapter I wrote to make ground for more fluff*
She didn't know how long it would take to get used to the mildew of their new apartment. It was a fairly decent establishment, but the rain always dampened the wall; that combined with the fact that the landlord was always doing weed.
She was still struggling a lot with her pain, some days more than others. Now that she had also left the facility, there was no way to keep a close eye on the wound. It used to burn every once in while, particularly when she had those recurring nightmares, now vivid, of being tortured, at the hands of HYDRA, and Bucky. She could remember how she got some of her cuts, that had left a mark on her skin. She couldn't really remember how she hurt her chest.
Maybe it was why Bucky was avoiding her. Somewhere in his mind, he was relating Tony's anger to her forgiveness, doubting if her forgiveness would turn on him the moment he made another mistake. It made him very aware of everyone's presence, and he seemed keen to stay in the shadows, and not interact with them so much. If she hadn't known better, she would have thought he was like that. Brooding, proud, antisocial and a recluse.
Christmas arrived, it was bittersweet, because the team celebrated it together, at least once during the 25 days. To keep up with the festivities, they all decided to have a Secret Santa. It was a beautiful evening on the 24th. The warmth was just right, it made the house feel like a safe haven from the bone-chilling winter outside. The world had gone to a deep slumber under the blanket of fresh snow. The smell of cinnamon and apple had muffled that of the mildew she always complained about. Steve was telling stories of his childhood; Sam was astonished that Steve was indeed a grandpa. Natasha was drinking wine, Bucky too, sitting in the chair and smiling as Steve recounted shared memories.
Ellie had just left the room a minute earlier, and came back holding her phone. Steve and Natasha were to notice.
"Ellie", Steve began, "Come on. Not today. It's Christmas."
"Just one minute Steve."
"He said he'll come, so he will. And if he doesn't, well.. we see that later."
The cryptic nature of their conversation caught Bucky's attention, whose eyes suddenly landed on Ellie and her phone.
"True", she replied, "Ugh.... I am just so nervous."
"Didn't you set the time with him?", Sam asked too.
"Well, he said around Christmas, that too in a mall or something", she replied. "He apparently has a thing for festivities and lights." Ellie closed her phone and put it away.
"Are you sure you want to meet him?", Sam asked, "I mean, you've not really done this kinda stuff before."
"It's ok. Exploring new horizons", she replied. "The world has changed."
"And yet somehow it's still the same", Natasha continued. She put her glass away and straightened the ruffles of her beautiful green dress. "So, let's do the gift thing and get this over with."
Ellie put her phone away and settled on the beanbag next to the fireplace. The gifts were brought and they began to unwrap them.
It began with Steve. It was a small rectangular box, no longer than his hand, wrapped in blue and silver paper, with a red bow on it. He chuckled at the color scheme and unwrapped it. Silence followed.
"Geez", he could manage to say, but his eyes were wide.
"What is it?", Natasha asked.
"It's a Swiss army knife", he said, tracing the sides with his finger. "1939. Belonged to one of my friends in the regiment."
They all looked at the name carved on the side of the knife. "L. R. Anthony."
"We shared a tent during one of our missions. Really, a gem of a man. Had a wife, Margie and.. 4 children I think. A pair of girls and boys. Kentucky.. Man..." Ellie took a moment to steal a glance at Bucky who, as usual, felt indecipherable.
There was silence in the room. All they could hear was the fire.
Sam opened his gift and found paper inside.
"What's this?", he read the card inside. It had two tickets to the quarter finals of a football match. "WHO BALLIN?" he announced, smiling enthusiastically.
Natasha was next to open her gift. Someone had gifted her tickets to Disneyland and an invitation to a fancy restaurant. She could definitely use a break. They all could.
Ellie had a small packet in her hand, looked like a letter envelope. She opened the flaps and two things. One was a really delicate chain, made of silver probably. It had the most delicate pendant on it, a rose. There was one more thing, a small plastic bag, with small bead-like things.
"Are these seeds?", she asked, examining them closely. The paper at the bottom of the box said so. It was geranium and carnation seeds. She looked so happy, always having an interest in horticulture. Her silence though, made everyone curious.
“Something wrong?”
"No. I just... I love it!", she said, smiling faintly.
Bucky was last, awkwardly fidgeting with the box in his hand, it was a brown box, wrapped in a plain black string with a tiny plastic pine cone in place of a bow. He opened the box carefully and found two things inside, a nice woolen sweater and an empty journal. On top lay a note which said, "To new memories..."
Announcing that they were going to be late for dinner, Natasha put the gifts away. While everyone was putting their things away, Bucky was wearing the warm brown sweater he found in his gift.
“It’s a perfect fit”, Steve commented, passing him by to get the keys.
“It is”, Bucky replied, making final adjustments to the hem. He had been estranged for so long, the feeling of a home made him feel awkward. If he could, he would have tried to liken this Christmas to all of his past ones, good ones, but memory wouldn’t serve him that well. It was outside the house his mind was trapped in, and the guard was too strong.
Ellie stood right next to him, looking at herself in the giant hallway mirror. She was wearing a lovely black dress, with a thigh high slit and perfect stockings to match. Her hair were open and flowing beautifully down.
“Can you help me?”, she asked, awkwardly, holding the chain in her hand. “I might as well wear this too.”
“It matches..”
Bucky clipped the chain, the tiny gold rose pendant twinkling under the light. It looked perfect. She looked at his sweater and smiled.
“Looks nice”, she said, walking away.
“Yes it does”, he replied, in a low voice, looking at himself again, “Thanks Amy.”
----------------------------
Sorry it got hella long. I wanted to make some sense of the timeline and also, Bucky related fluff angst had to be there lol. Also... Is the series too long? Should I be cutting it short? I just like details a little too much.
“Every year on your birthday, you get the chance to start anew”
Title: Birthday Dance
Series: Winter Lily
Characters: Bucky Barnes, OC
Type: Fluff, slight angst
A/N: I have been toying with the idea of a mutant/halfling character that I wanted to fit into the MCU universe and possibly create a love interest for Bucky with. This scenario had been plaguing my mind for forever so I decided to write this down. I suppose this would make more sense once I have the origin story written out so it’s clear who Lillith/Pandora is and how she exactly fits into the grand scheme of things. At this moment in time, this “drabble” chapter doesn’t fit in any specific moment of the original timeline, it might be rewritten in the future. Hopefully, you’ll still enjoy this story for what it is right now, feel free to leave your comments or tips if you have any.
At this time, Lillith/Pandora’s confirmed powers are Illusion Manipulation and Erebokinesis, but this might change later.
The glass windows were vibrating to the beat of the music blasting out of the stereo systems, surely they would have shattered if they weren’t build to avoid breaking upon impact after the many, many attacks on the Avengers tower in the heart of New York. The only thing louder than the volume of the music had to be the chattering and laughter of the people who entertained themselves at the party that night. One thing was sure, Tony Stark knew how to throw a party.
Lillith couldn’t remember the last time she actually celebrated her birthday. If she ever celebrated her birthday in the first place. She had been in the hands of HYDRA from a very young age, the organization treated happiness and love like it was some sort of plague and would make it their mission to break you down completely and beat out every bit of happiness out of existence. It was forbidden, in the eyes of HYDRA, there could only be pain and torture. And if her birthdate hadn’t been written down in her project file, she probably wouldn’t even have known that today was her twenty-sixth birthday.
She didn’t want to make a fuss about it, she didn’t hold any value to birthdays seeing as she never had the experience and thus held no meaning. But to her dismay, Natasha made it a point to mention her birthday coming up in casual conversation which gave Tony an excellent excuse to host another Stark-worthy bash, and before she could even protest, the invited had already been sent out.
Most of the guests were no strangers to the Avengers hideout in the first place, the entire team was present, including Thor who stuck around after their last mission to retrieve a stolen artifact from the ‘days of yore’, T’Challa and Shuri who had just returned from Wakanda to supply the team with weapons and uniforms made from Vibranium which Shuri had been working on after analysing what each member needed to enhance their abilities, and surprisingly even Bucky who Steve practically had to drag out of hiding stating that relaxing and having some fun would do him some good.
Then there were the people whom she didn’t recognize, some of them were former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents as Natasha had informed her, others were people Tony just knew and had invited because - well, Tony likes to throw big parties with loads of people around so he could boast about anything and everything.
The entire night, Lillith decided to stick around the people she knew and felt comfortable with. Mostly Wanda - who felt as much as a fish out of the water as she did - or Natasha, striking up casual conversations with Shuri and ignoring Tony’s overly excited cheers whenever she was in the neighborhood. As much as she appreciated his attempts at making her feel special on this day, she felt awkward being the center of attention. It didn’t help that Natasha and Pepper had convinced her into a beaded and lace halter top dress, the top snug fitting black with a flowing white and tulle skirt attached to it. If it were up to her she probably would have shown up in comfortable jeans or sweats and a simple shirt. But seeing as this was a party - and she was the center of said party - she had to dress up.
After losing her friends in the crowd, Lillith made her retreat to the side of the room, a familiar figure catching her eye on the balcony. Sliding through the dancing and drinking guests, she made her way to the slide doors and was immediately greeted with the soft, cool evening breeze pushing her curled mahogany locks. Another good thing about those shatter-proof windows was the fact that they contained most of the sound from inside the party, which made the balcony a perfect refuge for people searching a bit of peace and quiet.
“Well, well, well, Mister Barnes,” She spoke as she slowly approached the brooding man with arms crossed, as he slowly turned his head back to glance upon hearing his name. A playful smile danced on her lips. “Who knew you would clean up so nicely.”
A soft, amused chuckle rolled down his throat as he smiled back at her. “Look who’s talking, doll.” He teased back, letting his orbs of blue trace over her appearance for a moment as she looked about as awkward as he felt in her new outfit. “Nice dress.”
“Admittedly not my style, but I guess I pull off the girly look-” A soft giggle danced along her words as she ran one of her hands over the fabric of the skirt. She stopped next to him and leaned forward against the cool metal bars of the balustrade as her gaze traveled to the city lights below.
“So how do you feel, birthday gal?” He turned his gaze back to the view himself, enjoying the silence compared to the craziness from inside. Parties were a lot different nowadays than what he had been used to, both in terms of music, clothes, and activities. It was a lot to take in, not necessarily in a bad way. It was just different.
“Not much different than usual, really...” She grinned thoughtfully before glancing his way with a mischievous look in her eyes. “I couldn’t possibly say I feel old in the presence of two dinosaurs and an ancient God, right?” She couldn’t help but snicker at the reaction the super soldier gave her, his eyebrows raised almost in a sense of surprise as he placed his hand on his chest to feign insult.
“Low blow, doll,” He gasped playfully, though she could tell by the look in his eyes that he was just as much amused as she was. “Has no one ever told you to respect your elders?” She couldn’t suppress the laughter she was holding and broke down in a fit, shaking her head at his comment. Bucky watched her with a widened smile, almost fascinated at how cheerful and amused the young woman was at their playful banter.
He had gotten used to her sarcastic comments over the period of time they knew each other and worked together. But he had never seen the young girl genuinely smile or hear her laugh so carelessly as she did at the moment, which was a good thing. The two of them came from similar situations - both ripped out of their own environment, captured, tortured and abused by the hands of HYDRA. Both with just one mission implanted in their brains and both fearing to feel so much as a sliver of positivity or hope since those emotions were punishable by such intense torture, you’d wish you were dead instead. Seeing her genuinely happy was a nice change of pace and actually granted him with the same sense of happiness just by watching her.
“So tell me,” She continued after calming down from her laughing fit, the smile never leaving her lips. “Are you just standing out here by yourself because being mysterious, dark and brooding is your schtick?” Arching a brow curiously, she rested her emerald gaze on his facial features, he still had his scruff which she assumed was just part of his aesthetic at this point, there were a still a couple of faint scars visible on his face, but he seemed a lot less tense than she was used to seeing.
“It’s not my kind of party,” He casually shrugged it off. After all the things he had been through, all the rush and stress and violence and chaos, he had learned to enjoy and admire those precious moments of silence. He also wasn’t exactly a fan of Tony’s ego-fest which this party turned into.
“Mine neither...” She hummed thoughtfully in agreement, a soft sigh escaping her lips as she turned back to the view in front of her. “I always thought birthdays would include cake and balloons and presents-- this is just loud music and alcohol...” Scrunching her nose at her own words, a sad chuckle rolled down her throat at the depressing thought that people her age were living for those kinds of parties, hangover was their middle name. She enjoyed music and a drink from time to time, but she couldn’t imagine herself wasting all her free time living that kind of life. “How obvious is my lack of childhood?”
“Cheer up doll, cake and balloons are overrated, anyway,” Bucky replied, glancing down at the young woman’s facial expression with a melancholy smile. Collectively, both of them had been in captivity for about the same time if you only counted the years he was out of cryo-state and doing their bidding as the Winter Soldier. But he had been in his twenties when the whole deal started, while she had spent her life under their grasp. “But who said anything about no presents?”
As she rested her head on her arms in slight defeat, still leaning against the balustrade, she once more turned her gaze to the taller and muscular man next to her. Her eyebrow quirked up at the constant sound of the way he addressed her as doll, something she knew was a sweet nickname back in the ‘40s and she had to admit it had a fun ring to it. “What? Are you going to tie a bow around your head and sing me a birthday song?”
The man chuckled, shaking his head in reply as he let his left hand slide into his pocket, “You didn’t hear it from me, I overheard Steve talking about a gift they prepared at the end of the night but--” He paused for a moment, pulling out a small little box that was neatly wrapped with a little blue ribbon which he held out towards her. She perked up at the sight of the little box, staring at it with big emerald orbs filled with curiosity. “Maybe this can keep your spirit up for the time being.”
She accepted the box with both arms, still staring down feeling almost speechless. She hadn’t expected any gifts from anyone, but she had to admit that Bucky was one of the last people she would have expected anything from. Not that he seemed like an unkind person, since teaming up with the former assassin and getting to know him personally, as well as listening to Steve’s stories of back in the day, he seemed like a kindhearted man with the typical Brooklyn charm and guts. No doubt he had the personality and the manners to woo any young woman, but something as trivial as a teammate’s birthday was something she didn’t expect him to consider nor would she have been upset if he hadn’t.
“I gave you more than just a box, ya know!” He grinned, tapping his metal index finger onto the top of the box as she continued staring at it, speechless. “Open it.”
She nodded silently, carefully unwrapping the bow and taking off the lid to reveal a stunning and elegantly small silver chain necklace, to which a charm was attached. It was a simple silver crescent moon from which a star-shaped jewel was dangling down, the gem itself had an interesting colorful shine; a gradient of black, blue, pink and purple, it almost looked like a mini-universe. “Wow… Bucky...”
“I read about something called the Pandora’s Cluster and all the telescope pictures showed a pattern of those colors…” He tried to explain the odd colored gem that decorated the charm, he actually did his research on her alias and the first thing he came across was Abell 2744, also known as the Pandora’s Cluster. There were several pictures of the galaxy with an array of colors but the most prominent was the mix of black, blue and pink that came together in almost a shade of purple. He came across a small shop that custom-made jewelry and eventually found a charm that would work well with the theme he was going for, something that truly reminded him for her for as long as he had known her. He didn’t even know why he was putting so much effort and attention into the gift, he just felt like he had to for some reason. “Almost like a natural beauty that shines through all the chaos...”
“It’s beautiful, I don’t know what else to say...” She almost whispered, a strange wave of emotions washing over her as she continued to look at the piece of jewelry in her hands. She had never been gifted anything, much less anything as thoughtful and meaningful as this necklace. Her emerald orbs lifted to meet his gaze, a gentle smile pulling at the corners of her lips. “Will you help me put it on?”
“Sure thing, doll...” He nodded, taking the box back from her and lifting the silver necklace out as she turned around and brushed her hair aside. She caught herself smiling as she felt the cool silver charm touch her skin, waiting for him to clip the necklace before turning around.
Gently touching the charm with her fingers, she looked up at the taller super soldier and flashed him a wide smile. “Thank you, Bucky, I love it.”
“Not a bad pick for a brooding dinosaur, right?” He tossed in with a cheeky grin, giving the smaller female a playful nudge as he did.
“Who knew the Winter Soldier could be so sentimental?” She grinned, playing with the necklace in her hands as she leaned against the balustrade once more and released a long and content sigh. “So what did parties look like in your day?”
“Not that much different,” He shrugged thoughtfully as he tried to reminisce. “Everything that comes to mind when you think of the 1940’s, I suppose.” The way parties were hosted and attended didn’t much differ from the way they were now in the sense that all that was hip and happening would take place. The alcohol was different and not consumed as an activity but rather just added to the sociability. The clothes were more modest and people who wanted to show off wore their army uniforms decorated with medals and other rewards. The term class would definitely come to mind. It would be a cliché to say times were easier and more modest, but they were.
Lillith watched his expression change from amused to rather pensive and hesitated for a moment before daring to ask. “Do you miss it?”
“I mean, of course, I do...” He answered honestly, looking at her with a melancholy smile. As much as he was getting used to the world he woke up in and was basically forced to live in, he did miss home. His Brooklyn, his friends, his life when it was so much simpler, back when he wasn’t known as the Winter Soldier. He was glad that he had Steve by his side at least, his best friend with whom he shared the same experience of feeling lost in a world years beyond his time, his last reminder of the person he used to be. “But it’s useless to stay stuck on the past. I know I can’t go back so I just have to focus on a new life.”
There was a bittersweet truth about his words. There was no way to go back in time, much less change the past for their own sake. Lillith understood this, the lives they were living today were the result of the past, and for better or for worse they had to deal with the hand they were given. But that didn’t mean they couldn’t reminisce once in a while.
“Bucky… ” She finally spoke up, her gaze fixated on the stars above them. He looked up at her with a curious expression as she continued. “Do you trust me?”
“Do I--?” His darkened eyebrows knitted in a frown, not really understanding why trust suddenly became an issue or a part of their mindless conversation. “What do you mean?”
“Did I stutter?” She couldn’t help but sass him, turning her attention to the frowning man, her lips curling into a coy smile as she waited for his answer. Rolling her eyes slightly impatiently as he hesitated with his answer, she reached out and grabbed his arm, tugging him along. “Just come with me.”
Bucky still wasn’t quite sure what she meant when she questioned his trust, but reluctantly followed after her as she dragged him back inside. But instead of joining the other partygoers, they continued to the elevator and got inside. Without explaining her plans, Lillith told Friday to take them to the roof to which she obediently complied. She was humming a peaceful tune as the elevator took them to the top floor in no time and pulled Bucky with her as she walked out to the quiet and empty rooftop of the building. You could hardly hear the music from a few floors below them, the clearest sound was that of the wind softly pushing past them as it traveled through the clear dark sky.
Lillith let go of his hand and took a few steps forward, taking in a long, deep breath before turning around to look at him. “Don’t think too much… Do you trust me?”
Trust in his line of work - and with his history - was definitely a sensitive subject. He never knew who he could and couldn’t trust, betrayal was lurking behind every corner. The only person he blindly trusted was Steve because they shared the promise to stick by each other until the end of the line. He had grown comfortable around some of Steve’s friends, maybe because he found himself relating to the young woman so his gut feeling answered. “I suppose I have no reason not to, do I?”
“Good enough!” She grinned, somewhat content with that answer as she approached him again. Staring up at the taller male, he could see a playfulness in her eyes. “Close your eyes.”
“Why?”
“You said you trusted me, didn’t you?”
“Technically, I said I had no reason not to trust you… ” He corrected her matter of factly, though his words danced on a teasing tone, watching as her brows knitted in a slightly annoyed frown. “Calm down doll, I’m just playing with you.” She playfully hit his shoulder in as he let out a soft, rumbling chuckle before closing his eyes to comply.
“Now relax…” She hummed softly, raising her hands up as black swirls started to dance around fingers. His expression tensed slightly and she could tell he was ready to open his eyes but she continued. “Think back to the 1940’s, imagine being at a party...” He wanted to ask why but she merely hushed him, closing her own eyes as he channeled her powers into his mind at a slow and careful pace, falling into his memory as she felt his mind drifting away.
Bucky wasn’t sure what she was planning but intended on giving her the benefit of the doubt. He could feel soft stings entering his brain, almost like a tickling sensation which he almost immediately linked to her using her powers, considering how close she stood to him. He was very wary of people messing with his mind or memories after the trauma he went through as HYDRA wiped him after every mission. But again, for some reason, his gut trusted her enough to watch what happened. Thus, as she asked him to think back to one of the parties of his time. The last time he remembered was the celebration of Steve’s heroic deed as Captain America, but it was a good example of a great party and he remembered how elated and relaxed he had felt back then. A sense of nostalgia washed over his senses as he could almost vividly picture the decorations of the venue, the sound of the music ringing through his ears as a familiar scent of perfume and cigars ran through his nostrils. It was almost like he was back.
“Lillith?” He finally spoke up after what felt like a good few minutes in silence, deciding to open his eyes to see what kind of prank he had gotten himself into by blindly following her lead.
He had expected to see her standing in front of him on the rooftop of the Avengers building, but instead, he found himself in the exact venue he had just been imagining. Decorations that were very clearly from the 40’s, the familiar scent of perfume and cigars, the hustle and bustle of the people who came to party, dressed in their best outfits. The sound of jazz trumpets filling the room. It was so vivid, so real, Bucky had no idea what was going on. Glancing down at himself, his outfit was replaced by his own army uniform he remembered wearing at that particular event, complete with medals. The only thing that hadn’t changed was the length of his hair, those it was slicked back into a bun instead.
“Look at you, Mr. Barnes,” A familiar voice mused behind him, his gaze snapping around to the familiar young woman who had approached him with a sly smile on her lips. He had to blink twice to realize it was Lillith, fittingly dressed in a marine blue halter top cocktail dress as most women wore during that period of time, her hair fluffed and curled aside. She looked like she stepped right out of the era. “Looking pretty fly for an old guy.”
“How did you do this?” Bucky genuinely wondered, his eyes once more traveling around the room. It was all so real, too real like nothing had ever happened. “Is this... Is this real?”
“As real as your memory can make it,” She stepped closer to him, almost proud of what she had accomplished. While Wanda was able to alter people’s minds or give them vivid visions, Lillith was able to recreate memories and make them come to life based on how well her target focused on it. It was one of the things that had to be completely voluntarily for it to succeed and even then was a risky task. She only accomplished such a feat a few times, all of which under the influence of her captors. But never had she managed to create a situation so vividly as she had now, maybe because Bucky was almost longing for this memory. “You may not be able to go back permanently, but at least I can help you go back and enjoy yourself for a moment.”
“You are truly amazing, you know that?” His lips parted in the most genuinely happy smile she had ever seen, not a hint of sadness or awkwardness in his eyes. She could truly see how relieved he felt being able to relive a moment in time where he felt at home and she was thankful that she was able to give him that.
“Tell me about it, sugar,” He quirked a brow at her nickname, a playful grin tugging at the sides of his lips as she merely laughed at his reaction. “It was either that or sweet cheeks.”
“Sugar works fine,” Another amused chuckle rolled down his throat, truly enjoying this playfulness between them and the fact that she seemed to fully emerge herself in his era, as he held up his hand in offering. “Care to join me for a dance?”
Lillith glanced down at the hand he held out to her, noting that both of his hands were still made of flesh. It somehow surprised her that he was still able to picture himself in this setting without his hand, but it made sense since his memory took place long before he lost his arm and disappeared.
It wasn’t until he followed her gaze that Bucky figured that the Vibranium arm had disappeared as if he never lost it in the first place. He stared at his left hand, almost admiring it in a sense, before she drew his attention back as she placed her hand in his. The touch of her skin on his felt so surreal, something he had not felt for a very long time and had almost forgotten while her soft touch tickled his own. He met her emerald stare and subconsciously mimicked her soft smile. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Lillith was surprised how much of - what she assumed was - the real Bucky shone through as he lead her onto the dance floor. The way his blue orbs almost seemed to bury through her own emerald gaze and into her soul, his face carrying a soft yet crooked smile that showcased part of his charm. He seemed confident and at ease, right in his element. She was glad this part of his humanity hadn’t been destroyed by HYDRA’s tight regime, this was exactly the type of person she had imagined after hearing Steve’s stories. She was entranced with his expressions as they moved to the music, a slow song coming on as if on cue. Lillith wasn’t the type to dance, but she naturally let herself go with the flow and back in the day it was more than natural for men to take the lead in any dance.
Bucky was thankful to be able to relive a moment he longed for all this time, though the sense of disappointment still lingered at the thought that this was just temporary, it was exactly what he needed after all he had been through. She seemed to fit right into his world, the style complimenting her features and beauty in a way he had never considered before. Aside from their joint experience as weapons of HYDRA and their fight for redemption while protecting the Earth, all he knew about the young woman was that she was sassy and stubborn and - quite literally - out of this world. But the more he fought with her, spoke to her, spent time with her, the fonder he grew of her in a way he never imagined he was able since waking up out of his time. She had given her a priceless gift, however, and felt at ease being in her presence.
It was interesting how a simple dance could become so intimate, but both former assassins kept eye contact through the entire slow dance. Hands tightly held together, his other hand carefully resting on the small of his back as her hand was placed on his right shoulder. Both expressions peaceful and softened, communicating without words. It could have been an impulse of circumstance, but as they continued swaying to the music, Bucky slowly leaned in closer towards her. He hesitated and unexpectedly felt his heart race at the urge that crossed his mind. She hadn’t flinched or moved or reacted as he inched closer, she merely continued to look at him with that soft smile, her cheeks coloring a soft shade of pink. Making up his mind, he closed the distance between them and carefully pressed his lips against hers. She didn’t seem to fight it, instead, she leaned into the kiss and returned it to both their surprises. She could feel her cheeks flushing, burning as she returned the kiss and almost admired the sensation of his lips against hers, his scruff tickling her sensitive skin but she didn’t seem to mind.
For a brief moment, the two stayed connected in the kiss, her head was reeling with the sensation as their surroundings quickly fading in and out of existence like some sort of glitch in a holograph. Breaking the kiss, Bucky quickly glanced around with his brows knitted in a worried frown as the venue faded in and out of view again in just a brief second before pulling them back to the 1940’s, “What the hell was that?”
Lillith took a deep breath, it was only now that she realized how everything around her felt like it was spinning at a rapid pace, her vision slowly blurring as a soft thud was pounding in the back of her head. Keeping the mirage going took a lot of concentration and energy, but as her attention was drawn to the moment the two were having, she slowly lost her grasp on her creation and hadn’t realized how much it was actually draining her. “Sorry…” the apology almost slurred out of her mouth as it took every drop of energy just to speak. “I think my mind slipped out of it.”
His eyes dropped to her face, still carrying the worried frown. Her face was flushed from color, even the soft shade on her cheeks had disappeared, the paleness even reaching her otherwise warm colored lips with an alarming sight “You don’t have to keep this up, it’s hurting you.” She shook her head stubbornly, not wanting to ruin this moment of happiness she managed to give him, but he insisted. “It was fun while it lasted, baby doll, but I think it’s time to go back.” Carefully brushing a stubborn curled strand of hair behind her ear, he could have sworn he saw her lips curl up into a slight pout.
“N-no, I can still...” Her voice sounded both tired and disappointed as her sentence got caught off, closing her eyes for a moment as she was unable to keep her grasp on the temporary reality she created and collapsed onto the ground.
Bucky felt a shock in place, a jerking sensation like the rude awakening after falling in a dream, and in a blink of an eye the entire venue disappeared, the scent disappeared and the music died out, finding himself back in the darkness on top of the roof. The disappointment he had anticipated earlier washed over him for only a brief moment, releasing a content sigh before his focus was drawn to the young woman slumped in front of him. He immediately kneeled down in front of her, carefully brushing some strands of her hair out of her face. “Are you okay?”
She lied in reply, nodding her head carefully as she tried to ignore the throbbing in her head. The world behind her closed eyelids was still spinning beyond her control, a scary feeling which she hadn’t experienced in a very long time. Her entire body was shaking, aching as though screaming at her for starving herself from energy. She felt her mind grow fuzzy and wander off, longing to give into the fatigue.
“Lillith, stay with me...” His voice subtly cracked with concern as he noticed how her breathing became more shallow and her arms, upon which she had rested the weight of her upper body to try and keep her somewhat upright, were faltering. “Hey. Hey! Look at me!” His voice broke through the haze in her mind as she felt his strong arms supporting her shoulders, the touch of his Vibranium hand cooling against her almost burning skin, shaking her softly to try and regain her attention. “Open your eyes, baby doll. Look at me.”
She continued to fight the urge to give into the screaming fatigue and pounding sensation in the back of her head. Bucky’s commanding voice growing louder and louder as she slowly snapped out of her dizzy spell and peeled her eyes open. He gently placed his fleshed hand underneath her chin and forced her to gaze up to meet with his, finding herself almost drowning in the intensity of his steel blue stare, which only hardened at the alarming sight that her gaze had grown distant. As she focused on him and him alone, the pounding in her head slowly drifted away and the world seemed like it stopped spinning at an abnormal pace, regaining her balance once more as her heartbeat slowly but surely steadied. “There she is...” He offered her a careful smile amidst his worry as he noticed her focus returning, her body stopped shaking in his grip. There was a sense of guilt that continued to grow within him, he never asked her to use her powers to such an extent but neither did he stop her and part of him felt responsible for the state she was in. “You’re with me, right?”
“Yeah...” Her voice sounded weak, almost like a whisper as she felt her energy slowly dripping back, “I’m sorry I ruined the moment...”
“Hey... We don’t need the past to have a moment...” He softly chuckled in an attempt to make her feel at ease once again. The moment they shared was special, it might not have happened ever if she hadn’t sent them back into his memory, he wasn’t even sure what the moment meant in the first place since it all happened so suddenly. Not that he regretted it and it was comforting that she reciprocated. “Are you okay? Think you can stand up?”
She swallowed harshly, mustering up the confidence before nodding, reaching up for his hand to support her as she carefully got back to her feet. The blood in her head rushed down, obscuring her vision as she struggled to keep her balance when a strong hand rested on the small of her back to keep her steady. “Talk about a rush...” She muttered, her eyes traveling up to meet his.
His blue orbs moved over the soft features of her face, the color in her cheeks had yet to return but her skin was considerably less pale as it was just a moment ago, hints of the stray tears still lingering on her lashes as her expression still screamed exhaustion. And even in that state, she looked beautiful to him. Like he had described the cluster of stars that shared her name, he found a sense of beauty in chaos. “You keep surprising me, doll.”
“Do I?” Her eyebrow quirked up as her lips curled up into a playful grin. She wasn’t quite sure what exactly he was referring to but he took it with jest anyway. “There’s a lot more where that came from, sugar.” A teasing hum rolled down her throat as she continued to look at him, the sheer happiness that radiated from his expression made her heart leap in a way she never imagined to be capable. Bucky deserved a break, he deserved a piece of happiness and she was glad to be the one that could grant him that much. It surprised her how much she was drawn to him in what seemed to be an innocent exchange, it was a sensation she hadn’t experienced before, and the sudden kiss was just the last piece of the surprisingly amusing and soothing puzzle.
Her posture was alluring, the coy tone of her voice drawing him in once more as their eyes connected as they did before. She had immersed herself into a seductive person that knew exactly how to speak to his instincts. The kiss on the dance floor was an almost careless move he made that reminded him of the heartthrob antics he used to partake in. His senses were overcome with a feeling of enlightenment as he had not a single care in the world, or so it felt. And here she stood - back in their present day, recovering from a gift so precious to him that he forgot it affected her like a curse. Her emerald gaze burning through his own, connecting with him in a way he feared he would never be able to again. There was something about her that fascinated him, drawing out the Brooklyn charmer he thought was long gone. It felt nice not being treated like a weapon or a monster, it was comforting to connect with a person who truly understood him. He wanted to make the first move but she was just one step ahead, already leaning in to press her soft lips against his.
Lillith surprised herself at how quick she gave into the attraction that flooded her senses and took over her better judgment. It felt like a second nature to approach the tall and brooding man whose eyes for once were filled with a sliver of hope. She had never experienced this sensation, it frightened her because it was so unknown, but even more so because it felt so right at the same time. She realized the man before her, whose lips were rough but somehow seemed to comfortably fit onto her own, hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary of how people often treated each other. He was kind to her when he wanted to, curt with her when he needed to, but most importantly he gave her a sense of worth that she so desperately longed for. She had been weaponized, plagued by her past and her destiny. Cursed by her origin and unable to escape no matter how desperate - no hand could end the torture she had to bear every second she was awake. And then there was Bucky, a man with an equally complicated past and an unsure future, who treated her like any other human being and on this very evening - despite the fact that it should have been her special day - made her feel home and at ease in a situation where she felt like nothing more but a fish out of water.
Bucky gently pressed his hand against the small of her back, pushing her closer to his own body as they deepened the kiss, sending a chill down her spine. Parting their lips, their tongues intertwined in a playful dance as she carefully reached her hand up and rested it on his cheek. Again, her head was reeling but in a positive kind of way as he stole her breath away. The rugged, brooding man caressed her with such ease and kindness that one would forget how dangerous and violent he once was. It was a perfectly blissful moment that neither wanted to break, but the need to breathe reminded them that all good things would come to an end.
She slowly pulled back, smiling against his lips before completely breaking away. Eyes closed, she let the feeling linger for another moment before releasing a slow breath she didn’t realize she was holding. Her eyelids fluttered open, meeting with his warm blue gaze which colored her cheeks with another shade of pink. He smiled down on her as the same sensation had filled his heart and rushed through his veins, at this moment it was just the two of them connecting, their longing for a normal life fulfilled by the other. But another feeling lingered in the back of her mind, one that she had encountered before, one she often tried not to give into. It was an ominous feeling that almost slapped her in the face as a sort of reality check, there was a reason why she never experienced true happiness or joy - because that very sensation was often followed by something terrible.
“What’s on your mind, baby doll?” The way her expression changed so suddenly naturally didn’t go unnoticed, a frown now forming above his wondrous blue eyes. He was worried she was going to collapse on him again, dealing with the aftermath of using her powers.
She released a long sigh, stepping away from him with a guilty aftertaste. She wasn’t sure how to explain her troubles since it didn’t make any sense at this point. There was no captor that would tase her, stab her, shoot her, sedate her or torture at any moment if she were to give into the warmth that had trickled into her heart. There was nothing that would stop her from finally experiencing what normal people would, without fearing the outcome. Sure, this mutual attraction was strange, new and very exciting, it was unknown territory for the young woman who believed all her life that she was nothing but a monster.
“Did I do something wrong?” When it came to courting or romance, Bucky was just an innocent soul who meant to harm but to love unconditionally. After all he’d been through, it was something he longed for the most. He wasn’t sure if love was the proper way to describe the events between them, but he was certain that there was chemistry that he was very willing to explore and experiment with. But at least he had some experience, he had fallen in love before - or at least experienced infatuation. “I’m sorry if I--”
She snapped around almost immediately, her eyes widened as she vigorously shook her head at his implications. Bucky had done nothing wrong, there was nothing he could do wrong when all they did was kiss and she had initiated the second one. “No! No, no, no! It’s not you, it’s me!” Her nose scrunched up as the words were ringing in her own mind, realizing the only times she heard those words in movies was when they were uttered nearing a break-up. “Wait! I mean… I-I love this, this- whatever this is,” She nearly stuttered, waving her hands almost frantically, an exasperated sigh rolling off her lips at her own inability to explain herself. She didn’t want to label whatever it was that drew them together, because she honestly had no clue what to label it as. “It’s just... Every time I inch closer to that feeling of happiness, bad things happen… And that scares me...”
Bucky watched the girl wave about her arms in frustration as she tried to explain what was on her mind, an adoring smile creeping up on his lips as he understood her perfectly. “You don’t have to worry,” He assured her with a calm voice, taking careful steps towards her as he took her slowly chilling hands into his own. “I promise you, nothing bad will happen. You’re safe - we’re safe. An as for us...” The playfulness returned to his voice as he gave her hands a soft squeeze, toying with the thought of there being an us to refer to in the first place. “We are in no rush.”
She pressed her lips together, wanting nothing more than to believe his words. She wanted to explore being happy, she wanted to explore what was brewing between the two of them, she just wanted to be sure that nothing was going to happen that could jeopardize this experience - that could hurt him. “James Buchanan Barnes, brooding dinosaur and part-time poet.” She managed to rekindle her sassy demeanor as she took note of the cute little rhyme to his words, it was unrelated but managed to lift the mood.
A loving laugh rolled down his throat at her comment, shaking his head, closing the distance between them once more. “Shut up, birthday gal.”
Warning : Major angst, I shed a tear while writing and also cursing
Word Count : 4884 words
A/N : This is the part 2 of ‘That I Have Regretted’, I was really hoping that the part 1 pulled your heartstrings to the point of almost snapping and judging by the comments some of you left me, I kinda did it??? loll anywho I’m also currently writing a romcom for Steve Rogers so make sure to look out for it! for those who wants to be on my taglist, dm me, I might accidentally skip it if you leave a comment on a story so just dm me and tell me that you want to be tagged for my upcoming stories. Btw I might make this into 3 or 4 parts ?? Let me know what you guys think about this story! Your input helps me write even better and if y’all hate looking at my face pls let me know so that I won’t make you guys feel uncomfortable while reading whatever it is I wrote and change my picture to a picture of someone or something else loll. - Nana 🌸
A/A/N : HIS EYES PIERCED THROUGH MY NONEXISTING SOUL I HATE HIM FOR DOING THIS TO ME
That I Have Regretted ( Part 1 of the series )
17 hours, 27 minutes and 48 seconds...
He waited that long for her.
He wouldn’t budge from his kneeling position he was in at the first 7 hours of the operation, no matter how his legs hurt from the awkward position and angle, no matter how his brain told him that he’s tired from all the fighting and that he needed rest, no matter how his stomach cried out for food and his throat croaked for water, he ignored it all so that he would be the first to know about (Y/N)’s condition.
It hurt him knowing that he may or may not be living the rest of his life in regret and all the waiting made his anxiety crawl into his brain and also that things were bad between him and her before the eternal slumber takes her away from him. He wanted to rewind, rewind to all those times he had made her worried, angry, tired, he wanted to change those moments to be filled with soft kisses, whispers of nothing, affectionate ‘I love you’s that would make both of their stomaches filled with butterflies. He wanted to turn back to all those times and fix things.
But he also wanted to turn back to their most happiest times; when the both of them accidentally blurted out that they love each other at the same time, when they snuck out of the tower at 3 am just to get midnight ice cream and ended up binge watching horror movies until 11 am, when she first calm him down during his first week of being with the Avengers, how her arms would wrap around her neck despite the punches he gave her due to his fear of hurting her if his episodes came back, not realizing he was already hurting her, but for some reason she stood by his side since day one.
Oh how stupid he was.
He didn’t know better.
Frustration had taken over him, making him forget the things she had done for him.
Now the only thing that is being repeated in his head is the moment he told her that they both needed a break, that she had taken him for granted, that they both needed time apart.
“I think we both should take a break”
“It’s clear that you and I have been together for too long, we forgot the value of our relationship and yo-we… misused each other’s company… so… let’s… find out what we need best for ourselves…”
Oh how dumb he had been.
In that moment he really wanted to punch himself, harm himself in some way to make it up to (Y/N)’s pain, (Y/N)’s current suffering, and (Y/N)’s current battle with death.
But knowing that he’ll heal in a couple of hours made him realized that it won’t be fair, that it won’t be the same. So living with no physical harm is the best option. Because God knows how mentally broken he is right now and he’d have to live with that.
Steve had managed to drag him away from his kneeling position after the first 7 hours, saying that he’ll burn the floor soon enough and that he’ll leave a mark on the floor. Steve also managed to feed Bucky, though all that he would eat was just a couple of sandwiches-that Wanda specially made to help the poor soldier in his toughest time-and a bottle of water.
After Doctor Cho fixed (Y/N) up temporary and informed him that the operation was a success, he rushed to her side in mere seconds only to break down again at the sight of her; oxygen mask covering her mouth, her parted lips puffing small puffs of air, eyes closed tightly like as if she was sleeping, and what broke him the most is the sight of a tube attached to her chest, her holed chest where a grappling hook once settled in is on just a hollow hole that’s covered by a tube and a machine that will keep her alive for God knows how long.
Bucky cried, he screamed, and bang on the floor, cursing himself, blaming himself for what had happened.
(Y/N) risked her life for him and what did he repaid her with? A fucking break to their long relationship.
He repaid the only woman who would ever accept him as he is with cold, painful venom injected straight to her heart, only thinking about himself and not about how she also feel about his decision.
“Hey popsicle”
Bucky’s body froze when he heard someone spoke from behind him. Never in his life had he let anyone see him in his most vulnerable state. Bucky had always believed that his most vulnerable state was when he cried, he’d only let those he trusted with all his life to see him in that state. Which obviously meant that he only had let Steve and (Y/N) see him cry; Steve saw him cry when he brought Bucky to his mother’s grave, Bucky cried waterfalls for 20 minutes straight, while (Y/N) saw him cry when he had his nightmares, his past came haunting him back, forcing him to believe that he couldn’t change.
“Go away Stark, I’m not in the mood” he choked out, trying his best to quickly wipe his tears.
Tony, obviously being the stubborn man he is, only rolled his eyes and walk closer towards the slumping man, “Oh save your words, Bucket, I don’t care whether you’re taking a shit or braiding your hair, if one of my team members are in jeopardy I’m willing to go through hell to help them... and I needed to have your-” Tony then paused his words to crouch down next to the man, “-approval for the arc reactor that are going to be put in (Y/N)’s holed chest” he continued.
Bucky snapped his head towards Tony when he mentioned the arc reactor.
“You’re gonna- what?”
“Put an arc reactor in (Y/N)’s chest” Tony completed his sentence.
At the sight of Bucky’s shocked and confused expression, Tony explained to him the reason as to why he had the idea in the first place, “You see, the impact from the grappling hook resulted some of her organs to shut down and her heart to slowly dying” at the mention of (Y/N)’s heart slowly dying, Bucky’s jaw and fists clenched, seeing that, Tony cleared his throat, indicating that he has good news despite the bad news that Bucky heard was severe enough to result in panic, “The arc reactor will support her like how a normal heart would, it will keep her blood pumping and I promise you that she will be living her life normally once the operation’s done”
It was kind of too much for Bucky to handle.
He had too many questions running in his head about her safety and the possibilities about the arc reactor being inside her.
But out of all question he could’ve spoke out, he decided to question his own significance in the decision making part, “Why are you asking me this?” he blurted out, “Well, obviously you’re the boyfriend, and I know that she trust you enough to let you make these kinds of decisions in her life” Tony shrugged.
Truth to be told, Tony had always treated (Y/N) as his own daughter, having Pepper leaving him for her business hurt him and even after being put in jail by Tony and siding with Captain himself, she took upon the role of someone responsible enough to stop Tony from doing shits to himself like back before the whole Afghanistan shit happened.
Of course Tony was more than grateful that (Y/N) pulled him from the abyss back to the land of the living once more. No one cared enough to give precaution for Tony but there (Y/N) was, both literally and figuratively slapping him back to reality.
Since then Tony swore to himself that he won’t let anything hurt her, including Bucky. Oh, how close he was to blowing the man’s head seconds after he knew what happened between him and (Y/N). Despite his temporary hatred towards the half metal man, he also knows how much (Y/N) loves him, how much she trusted her life in his hands and that Bucky is the only person she trusted to make one of the biggest decisions in her life for her.
Tony was more than willing to make the decisions himself knowing that-obviously-between all of them, him and Steve are more eligible than anyone else to make such decisions. But God knows how Bucky would’ve flipped even more if he wasn’t informed.
Silence enveloped them both, the only sound that could be heard was the slow beeps of the machines that’s keeping (Y/N) alive temporarily. The same atmosphere as the one he experienced the day he did the most regretful thing in his life clouded the room in mere seconds and to be honest, it’s bugging him more than ever considering the same atmosphere brought catastrophe in his life. How life just love to poke fun at him, he thought.
“Does she mean it?” Bucky blurted out, breaking the icy cold silence that was enveloping everything in the room.
“What?” Tony snapped out of his own trance and look at the man next to him, “That she trust me enough to let me make these decisions for her” he croaked out, tears once again threatening to spill from his icy blue orbs, drops of emotions that he kept to himself. To him, those tear drops represents every single mistakes that he had ever done and those tear drops are proof of how low he thought of himself, and each of those tear drops represents reasons as to why (Y/N) decided to stay with the now-warm-blooded soldier.
Reluctantly, Tony nodded to Bucky, “Yeah, she means it...” Tony was looking for words to prolong his answer, short answers made him feel like he’s defeated, at loss of words and even worse, clueless. But that’s just it, that’s the only words there is to answer Bucky and one of his insecurities.
Bucky knows. Bucky knows it too well that there’s not much time left until (Y/N) organs began shutting down one by one, trapping her inside her own body until someone decide to pull the plugs and let her have her early well deserved rest. For someone who has been alive for a hundred years, time seems to be insufficient.
Talk about irony.
“T-this arc reactor...” Bucky gulped a little before boring his eyes back to where (Y/N) laid, “It won’t do her any harm, right? She’d still be able to be a normal person after it being put in her?” he continued, thinking of different scenarios of the outcome the arc reactor might brought upon (Y/N).
Tony scoffed, “Now you’re just degrading me... Look at me, I don’t think I’ve ever been better! If it’s anything, the arc reactor actually made me better! Plus, Loki wouldn’t be able to make her one of his... Zombie slaves or whatever he made humans as with his sceptre”
Bucky nodded knowingly at Tony’s words.
“Anything... Would be better than her dying like this, right?” he muttered to himself before suddenly snapping his head towards Tony with a piercing yet determined gaze.
“How soon can you put this reactor in?”
3 days later
Bucky never left.
He never left the room even for just one bit.
Shower? He’d use the bathroom inside (Y/N)’s room.
Food? Steve would bring him food despite him saying that now is not the time to eat and Steve would go to a whole mother hen mode, scolding him and all.
Entertainment? He’s fucking worried, how is he supposed to be entertained?
But Sam and Steve would often go back and forth into (Y/N)’s room to talk to Bucky and check on (Y/N). Heck, even Peter Parker-the scrawny boy who was currently the new member of the Avengers and being close to (Y/N) came to drop small gifts for her later when she wakes up. Even the girls would come into the room, they’d assure Bucky that everything will be alright, nothing is going to be wrong, both Wanda and Natasha would also clean (Y/N) up since both of them are the most capable as in not going to break down crying if (Y/N) doesn’t respond to their touch. Read : Bucky.
“Bucky?”
Bucky looked to the door and saw Clint coming into the room, Lila and Cooper grinning on both of his sides, “If you wouldn’t mind, Lila and Cooper had been desperate to see their auntie (Y/N) again” Clint said sheepishly, he knew that Bucky doesn’t want to be disturbed but on the other hand he also knew that Bucky won’t deny children’s presence in the room.
When Bucky nodded with a small smile on his face, Lila and Cooper ran into the room and made their way to both of (Y/N)’s sides. Though (Y/N) wasn’t able to respond to them, they talked to her, telling her stories from their school, their daily life and their hopes and wishes for her.
“You look bad, Bucky” Clint said as he sat down next to the half metal man in the couch in (Y/N)’s room. Bucky glanced at the man, “It’s been a while since I’ve gone out...” Bucky muttered before letting his gaze move back to (Y/N) and the children on her sides.
Clint sighed loudly, he had his hand to his forehead, rubbing harshly, “You’re not the only one who’s taking (Y/N)’s situation hardly... (Y/N), she was-” Clint paused, taking a deep breath so that he was able to continue talking, “(Y/N) isn’t like any other recruits... She was so young when she joined the Avengers, she was about to graduate high school and God she was a blessing to us...” Clint chuckled at the thought. Bucky let out a small grin too, thinking about (Y/N) in her graduation outfit.
“You know, her parents... Were against her being with us, so she ran away from home, she cried on her first night here saying that she regretted leaving home, leaving her family and friends behind... She’d often go to Tony for comfort since Tony is surprisingly able to handle her state back then... But she know she have us, she have her new family with her and she regretted nothing...” Clint suddenly reached to his pocket and took his phone out, he scrolled through the pictures in his phone and stopped at a certain photo.
At first he only smiled to himself, making Bucky curious. But he soon moved his phone to Bucky, to show him the picture he found, “During her graduation, Tony and Natasha came as her parents and boy was everyone shocked, they thought that the great Tony Stark had a lovechild with his own teammate” Bucky laughed slightly when Clint said that, he imagined what it was like to be in Tony’s shoes back then.
As the chuckles subsided, silence began enveloping them again. The atmosphere had once again turned cold. Bucky began imagining what it would be like to reminisce about those moments he and the other Avengers had had with her if she won’t make it.
But Clint didn’t want him to be sad so he put an arm on bucky’s shoulder and looked straight at him with a firm smile, “I’ve seen her fight, I’ve seen her battle for survival many times...” he started, his grip grew firmer yet Bucky didn’t falter even once to the touch, “She’ll make it through this one” he then moved his gaze to the unconscious girl who is surrounded by his children and firmly nod at himself, “Yup, that girl is a survivor”
Somehow Clint’s words pierced Bucky’s heart.
Everyone seems to love her, especially him and she had done nothing but accept all his shits, his mess, his nightmares, and even her wrongdoings. Sure, sometimes (Y/N) has some flaws, everybody does. But to Bucky, she is nothing like that. To him, she was some sort of a saint, not that she is free from sin-hell, she have her own devils inside her-but still, she had managed to make an angel out of her devils. (Y/N) is without a doubt the most saint person out anyone that he had ever made.
But why did a tragedy had to happen first to make Bucky realized that? He felt like it was unfair, how (Y/N)’s life or death situation brought out the most sensitive topic to him and made him realize what she truly means to him and how much she love him with no exceptions. He is a man with many flaws which made Bucky wonder, how did she overlook them?
“Clint...” Bucky called, catching the man next to him out of guard, “Tell me the truth...” he started, eyes lowering down to his fingers on his lap, “About?” Clint asked, an eyebrow cocked up with interest.
Bucky heaved a loud sigh before continuing, “What was your first impression about me?”
Truth is, Bucky had never been curious about what other people’s first impression about him because he know that the answer would either be scary or murderous and God forbid him killing someone right after they said that to him which is why he’d rather not ask in the first place.
Bucky had never even asked (Y/N) that question. He felt like it’s not even that important and (Y/N) knows her boundaries, she doesn’t want to pry too deep into Bucky’s life because though they are-were dating both still needs their own privacies despite what people said.
It took Clint a minute to answer Bucky’s question, “Broken...”
Now that shocked Bucky.
“What?”
“Broken, the first time I saw you, when Cap brought you during the whole him and Tony fiasco, I could see from your eyes that you’re broken, you’re strong and that was because someone broke you to pieces and never bothered to glue you back together”
At first, Bucky was surprised when Clint answered his question but now that he heard the reason behind his answer, he was rather ticked off, almost to the point of him being furious. He’s in the spot between serenity and blowing up at Clint.
“I am not broken... No one broke me and no one needs glue me back together-”
“And that’s why you glue yourself back together” Clint interrupts, shutting Bucky off completely with utter shock, “You can’t glue yourself back completely so there were some cracks left, there were cracks that not even you realise existed and when (Y/N) came into your life she offered to fill in those cracks with herself” By then Clint had somehow manage to made himself almost to the point of being angry and Bucky almost in the verge of tearing up at the mention of his state, “Why? What could possibly made you so reluctant to the thought of someone helping you-”
“I DON’T WANT TO CORRUPT THEM!”
Bucky’s sudden burst made everyone in the room halt into a nerve wrecking silence. Lila and Cooper doesn’t have the slightest tinge of fear on their faces, but they just look utterly confused, the fact that they’re raised by a hero dad who has hero friends make them seeing their father’s friends bursting out or fought each other inevitable.
Clint looked at both of his kids and nod towards (Y/N), telling them to go back to what they were previously doing silently.
“What do you mean corrupt?” Clint asked, now looking to Bucky’s face that he tried to cover with his large hands, “I don’t want to corrupt them... You... Everyone that I care... (Y/N)...” Bucky then paused after saying his girlfriend’s name, softening up a little as he look down onto his hands and lifted his head slightly a little more, “Especially (Y/N)... Oh, she’s all the pureness that exists in this world and I don’t want to ruin that... No... She’s... Too good...” by the end of the sentence, Bucky’s eyebrows creased together in a slight frustration, he laced his fingers together and squeeze his hands until it turned white.
The man next to Bucky nodded slowly, processing what his friend told him, trying to form words in his brain for his mouth to let out and to comfort his nerved friend.
But nothing came out.
How could it come out easily?
Clint had never felt what Bucky felt.
True, that people feels pain differently and what one might say is deadly painful may not be as painful to another. But Clint knows, Bucky’s pain is at its highest level.
Bucky had once been on top of his game, being the nation’s hero with his childhood friend, people cheering his name from every corner of America, girls ogling him with dreamy eyes and hope to be able to even talk to the soldier.
But it all vanishes the moment HYDRA had its eyes on Bucky.
He became the nation’s most wanted man despite the government not acknowledging his existence, his childhood friend had once became his enemy, his mission, people screaming in fear when they saw him, girls looking at him weirdly and scared because of his metal arm and worse of all, he became a weapon, an assassin that was forced to do something that he don’t want to, he got his emotions erased, heart broken and left alone at the deepest, darkest corner of his brain, and he lost his whole world and its trust on him.
“Sometimes, you just gotta let people into your life... Whether you like it or not, someone would eventually do and that person is better to be someone you know, someone you trust, someone you love... You either learn this the easy way or the hard way, and from my experience, I’d have it the easy way any day” Clint was shocked at first, he was shocked that he actually could say something like that to a man like Bucky, “Time is an enemy, Buck... it will try to stop you every single day of your life and when it does, you’d want to be someone who have someone that he loves in his life, a man who is a better man than he was before, and it won’t happen if you don’t let yourself open to everyone around you...” Bucky had a solemn look on his face, he knew that Clint’s right, he does need to man up and open up to people, “Start with something small buddy, someone close, someone that is closer than you think” Both of their eyes trailed slowly to (Y/N)’s resting body on the bed.
Bucky was so focused at looking at his lover, he didn’t realized that Clint had said his goodbyes and took Lila and Cooper with him home, leaving Bucky and the unconscious girl alone, silence enveloping them but yet everything seems to be so loud to Bucky.
Weird.
Without him realizing, he was on his feet.
His feet slowly brought him closer to (Y/N), allowing him to see more of her as he walk towards the bed. He could see all of (Y/N)’s perfections that she had once claimed as her imperfections. Oh, how he loved everything about her.
Bucky slowly sat down on the chair that Cooper had pulled before.
He sat there silently with his hands clasped together and his eyes not leaving (Y/N)’s face, not even for a second.
Slowly, his eyes drifted off to (Y/N)’s chest, where the arc reactor that Tony built specially for (Y/N) is resting in the middle of her chest. It looks weird on her. Considering that she had just had the arc reactor attached to her body recently made it seems comprisable that no one is used to the sight yet.
Bucky held one of (Y/N)’s hand in his securely but not too tight, he doesn’t want to hurt her anymore than he already does. But with the loving look he gave to (Y/N) at the moment, who would’ve guessed that Bucky is the cruel man he claimed to be?
His eyes began to trail off down towards her hand, how soft it felt against his harsh, calloused ones. How it’s smaller than his big, enveloping ones. How it reminds him of all the happy times they have spent together. But he also felt how cold it was against his warmer ones, even his metal hand felt slightly warmer than her hand.
“I promise you, (Y/N)... No more... No more pain for the both of us, no more sadness, no more tears... Just you and me, baby... but you gotta bear with me, okay?” he chuckle slowly, he looked up to her eyes as a tear slipped from his eye, “Like I’ve told you before, I’m a broken man... I’ve lived a broken life without you before and God, I just realized how fucked up it was...” his breathing became shaky, he can’t control his emotions at the moment but he tried his best to not rampage the whole room just because of his mixed emotions.
Bucky took a sharp intake of breath before continuing, “That’s why... I was so happy that you came into my life... That you were selflessly willing to throw all the normalities in your life to be with someone as abnormal as me... I mean, look at me! Tony was right, I am a walking trash can... At least he got both of the trash and the can right” he chuckled once more but this time no tear fell down, only a soft smile that lingered on his lips. He pressed his lips onto the back of (Y/N)’s hand that he was holding onto for the longest time, hoping that he wouldn’t have to ever let go, “So please... Stay with me, stay for me... I don’t know what I’ll do without you, doll... I’ll call you with more nicknames if you want, I’ll be there for you all the time, I’ll make sure to cut our working hours and amount of missions but if we can’t, I’ll make sure to be together with you through every single mission so please... If you let go of me now, I don’t know what I’ll become, I could go mad or I’d probably join you in death...”
Then he paused.
He began imagining what it would be like to join (Y/N) in death. Or what would it be like to miserably fail to join (Y/N) in death and ended up having to live the rest of his miserable life alone.
God had softened the man’s heart through a girl and now he had his eyes streaming tears down onto his cheeks, staining them with pain-filled tears as to show how unwilling he was to let go of the most important person in his life if it would happen and if it happened in a really unfair circumstance.
As his thoughts began trailing off, he was suddenly reminded at one particular memory he had with (Y/N), a memory that he had skipped accidentally and was he glad that it came back into his head at the moment.
“Sweetheart, do you remember that night we talked about our future? The night after your undercover mission to infiltrate a nuclear factory?” He smiled to himself as he reminisce the feeling of (Y/N) in his arms, laid flat chest to chest with her head in the nook of his neck and their breathing and heart beat in sync with one another, “I... Promise... I promise to make all of those promises come true... But you’d have to also be here because if I were to fulfil your wishes, who’d fulfil mine if it weren't you? No one can ever take your place, (Y/N)... No one... Not Natasha, not Wanda, definitely not Sam... And not even Steve... None of them are like you, none of them are willing to give everything that you were willing to give me with no expectation of being rewarded back”
Once again, Bucky inhaled deeply and let it out as shaky breaths. He tried to keep himself composed, he tried to kept his smile on his face to appear strong in front of the unconscious woman in front of him. Though all the facade he had, his tears were uncontainable still as it spilled even more onto the soft bedsheets, staining them and marking them, making it known to no one that he had been there with her, waiting and foolishly expecting what may have never came true.
“All of them... All that I had hoped... All that you had hoped... And all else that we had hoped... Is waiting for us in the future...”
He leaned forward and kissed her lips through the oxygen mask she’s wearing, exactly where her lips would hold if the plastic helper wasn’t there in the first place.
“I would never leave you again...”
He gave another soft peck on the same spot.
“So wake up soon... Hurry, and come back to me....”
Another peck as his tear dropped onto (Y/N)’s cheek.
“I miss you”
Bucky whispered, his hot breath fanned over (Y/N)’s face, making it a little bit warmer than before.
After Bucky said that he missed her, little did he know that her fingers twitch in response to him and his sincere confession.
PHOTO NOT MINE. THIS IS ALL FICTION.
Genre(s): CEO!au / arranged marriage!au / Fashion designer!au
Fandom(s): MCU
Pairing(s): CEO!Bucky Barnes x fashion designer!reader
Summary: Love comes in unexpected places and in many forms, everybody knows that but we often forget it. It can come as enjoyment in your job, brunch with friends, gifts, or an arranged marriage.
Warning(s): Age-gap
[Masterlist] [Mini masterlist]
I stare with trembling hands at my phone, double-checking the address that James send me. I am one hundred per cent sure this is the right address because of the glass plaque drilled into the wall next to the door.
With a shaky sigh, I pull open the door and step into the building. The lobby is very white with light wood details. A giant white marble counter sits in the middle of two glass doors.
"Can I help you?", asks the woman behind it, pulling my attention towards her. She looks at me with raised eyebrows.
"I am here to deliver something to Mr James Barnes. He knows I am stopping by." I give the lady a polite smile.
The woman nods, her eyes focussed on her computer screen. "Miss (Y/l/n)?" I give her a slight nod. "His office is on the twelfth floor. The signs show you the way."
I thank her, walking towards she has pointed. With a push on the up button, the doors open and I step into the elevator, pressing the right floor. A generic song plays softly in the background as pings indicate every floor I pass.
It's not soon before the doors glide open on the twelfth floor and I get out. This floor is just the same as the lobby; very white with light wood. But now, there are little pops of colour.
While I nervously chew on my bottom lip, my eyes scan around for any 'signs' the front desk lady spoke about. Instead of signs, I find a door with J.B. Barnes on it. I look one last time around to see if I missed something before I walk over to the door.
I lift my right hand a knock on the door two times. I begin to panic mentally. Should I have knocked more times? Or harder maybe?
But, before I can knock again, I hear a muffled, "come in!", from the other side. I push the door open slightly and peek my head through the crack.
James stands up from his chair as he sees me, but my eyes fall on another man in his office. He looks at me with a slightly annoyed expression as I enter James' office, closing the door behind me.
"I am so sorry, did I come at an unfortunate timing?", I ask, feeling guilty. It looks like the two were in a meeting.
"No!", says James quickly, making me cringe a bit at his volume. "Not at all! Sam, this is (Y/n), my..."
"Fiancé", I say with a small forced smile, not really comfortable with the taste of the word in my mouth. I stretch out my arm for Sam to shake. "Nice to meet you."
"Sam Wilson, the pleasure is all mine. I didn't know that you got engaged, Buck. Or even had a girlfriend in general." Sam throws James a teasing glance.
James rolls his eyes, practically shoving Sam out of his office. "I like to keep my personal life prived, Wilson."
Sam throws one last snarky remark that gets cuts off by James closing the door on his arse, pulling the blinds down.
"Sorry about that", he chuckles awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck with his metal arm.
This is actually the first time I noticed James' prosthetic arm. It may be the fact that it is very high-tech and moves as any normal arm would. The prosthetic is made of metal plates that move and shift around with every movement he makes. It's quite impressive. I just know that Shuri would love to look and study it.
James notices that my attention is on his prosthetic arm. He quickly hides it by rolling down the sleeves of his blouse.
I immediately feel bad, and I start to sputter out apologies. "Please... it was rude of me to stare. I shouldn't have. If it makes you feel any better, this is the first time I noticed it!" My face heats up while I squeeze my eyes shut.
Good job (Y/n). Such a great way to make the guy feel better over the fact that you just flat out stared at him.
My mind quickly improvises as I reach into my tote bag to grab the Tupplewear with the cinnamon rolls in it. "I am sorry. I brought you the best looking rolls I made."
I practically shove the plastic container in his hands, looking everywhere except him. Gosh, how to fuck something up.
James opens the Tubblewear lid and peaks inside. "They look really good! Do you want one?" He places the plastic container on his desk, looking around for a plate.
"Oh no, I just ate. It's all for you." I shake my head profusely.
After a moment of me looking around James' office and the man himself looking for a plate, he speaks up. "If you feel uncomfortable... you don't have to tell anyone that we're engaged." James takes a step closer to me and takes my hand softly in his.
I look at James' hand and how large it is compared to mine. "I... no. We have to call it what it is." I give him a slight smile, squeezing his hand.
My phone rings and I grab it out of my bag. It's Wanda. I give James an apologetic smile before answering. "Yellow."
"(Y/n) bad news. The venue in Chicago just called, they have to forward the show with a month and a half."
A groan escapes my lips. I close my eyes and tilt my head backwards. "Fan-fucking-tastic. Okay, I am on my way back and I will call them."
Wanda hums. "Not in the car."
I roll my eyes playfully. "Okay, mom. I will call them once I get back to the office. Better?", I ask sarcastically.
"I'll see you back at the office", she says before ending the call with a laugh.
"Everything okay?", asks James worried.
"Yeah, no. The venue in Chicago wants to advance the show by a month and a half. Great, like we aren't already in trouble with the planning", I grumble, pulling the straps of my bag over my shoulder.
"That sounds rather serious. If I can help in any way or form, just let me know, okay?" He smiles at me and I nod.
"I'll keep it in mind. See you later and enjoy the cinnamon rolls." I give James a quick hug and rush out of his office.
This is just fantastic. We are already delayed with a handful of design because someone ─ cough Lizzy cough ─ has sent their final sketches way too late.
With just a short drive of only twenty minutes, I am back at the atelier and already rushing into my office, Wanda hot on my heels. She slams the door shut while I dial the venue, putting it on speaker.
"Chicago national museum, Gebra speaking."
"(Y/n) (Y/l/n) of Aeon. You called my office, something about the date of the fashion show?" I take place in my chair, trying to keep my calm.
"Ah yes, miss (Y/l/n). We have to inform you that our planning hasn't been the most tidied and planned your show and the opening of an exhibition in the same week. We are very sorry."
I massage my temples. "You know that this brings everything we planned in jeopardy? If you told this two month ago, it wouldn't be a problem."
"We know miss (Y/l/n), and our sincerest apologies. If we knew, we called much earlier. But the college that usually oversees the planning has come back from their pregnancy leave."
Wanda looks at me with wide eyes. "That's no excuse", she whispers angrily.
"That still isn't a good enough excuse to suddenly changing the date. Is there no room to push the date slightly back, maybe half a month?", I argue. Please work, please work.
The woman on the other side of the line sighs. "That can't happen, sadly. We really need that month and a half to prepare the museum for the exhibition. But you could also seek another venue..."
My mouth falls open, and Wanda gasps. Did she just do that?
"No, it's fine. We'll make it work. Have a nice day." I end the call quickly.
"That whole call was so useless!", screeches Wanda, running a hand through her hair in frustration. "How are we going to finish the whole line on time?"
I turn my chair to the windows behind me, peering out of them. "There is nothing to it. I have to tell the designers and sewers the news."
Wanda and I walk out of the office. I scrape my throat, trying to get the attention of everyone in the atelier.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I have some unfortunate news to tell you", I begin as everybody stops what they're doing. "The venue in Chicago called with the message that the show as been pushed forwards a month and a half."
An angry murmur goes around the room. I meet Pietro's eyes from across the room, silently asking if it's true. I nod slightly, biting my bottom lip.
"But this won't hold us down. I am not going to lie, there will be long days ahead for us. Endless hours of cutting fabrics, sewing, and pinning. Probably some mental breakdowns." My little joke earns me a couple of chuckles.
"I am not going to say that you can leave if you aren't ready for that, because we need every pair of hands we can get. So, I advise you to get a good night sleep tonight." With one last look around the room with a sad smile, I turn back around towards my office.
I close the door after me before anyone else and lock the door. I let myself fall on my chair, putting my hands in my hair. How are we going to finish in time?
PHOTO NOT MINE. THIS IS ALL FICTION.
Genre(s): CEO!au / arranged marriage!au / Fashion designer!au
Fandom(s): MCU
Pairing(s): CEO!Bucky Barnes x fashion designer!reader
Summary: Love comes in unexpected places and in many forms, everybody knows that but we often forget it. It can come as enjoyment in your job, brunch with friends, gifts, or an arranged marriage.
Warning(s): Age-gap / men being idiots / bit of angsty talk abt family
[Masterlist] [Mini masterlist]
"Peter, please", I whine with a pout. "Don't make me go with you. I'm already busy enough. And I am tired!"
Peter is practically dragging me towards some posh fundraiser of his workplace, Stark Industries. My original evening plan was to finish up a handful of garments, order takeout, and fall asleep at the office.
"Then why are dressed to the nines?" Peter smirks at me, linking his arm with mine and walking into the venue. We pose for a couple of photographers before going in.
"Because you wouldn't leave until I was, and I quote, looking like a fine piece of ass." I give him a sneer while grabbing a flute of champagne. "Couldn't you bring MJ or possibly even Shuri?"
If there is one thing I hate more then the backyard parties mom throws, it's fundraisers. All stuck up people pretending to care for one evening to clear up their destructive behaviour.
Peter drags me around to where his boss stands with a couple of people, all laughing loudly. They turn their attention as we near them and Mr Stark smiles.
"There he is! The next face of Stark Industries." Mr Stark wraps an arm around Peter's shoulders.
I let go of Peter's arm and look with an amused smile how he gets flustered by Stark's compliments.
"Hi, (Y/n), nice to see you again", says a voice next to me and I turn my head to the side. Pepper Potts, the actual boss of Stark Industries.
"Miss Potts." I turn my body around as a smile creeps up my face. "How are you doing?"
It's been a while since the last time we crossed paths. I no longer frequently visit Peter at his work, as I am busy myself. I also have no other reason to drop by.
"Oh well, business is booming. Tony and Peter come up with one invention after the other." Pepper looks over her shoulder to Mr Stark with a soft smile on her lips.
I cock my head to the side. "And how's the little one?" I point subtly towards her growing baby bump.
Peter was excited when he told me that Mr Stark was going to be a father. He was bouncing around my apartment at three am.
Pepper lays a hand on her stomach, the same soft smile on her face. "She's doing great. My 21-week ultrasound was last week, and the little bean is turning out to be a girl."
I coo softly. I may not like children, but I am truly happy for Pepper and Mr Stark. The pure happiness in her eyes when she talks about the growing human inside her is almost contagious.
"And what did I hear about you? Since when did you get engaged?"
A wave of heat goes through my body. Does everybody fucking know?
Pepper notices my internal panic and lays a hand on my upper arm. "Peter told Tony, and Tony told me. Let me see the ring!" She grabs ahold of my hands and studies my fingers, but there's none. "There's no ring..."
"Because I haven't found the right one", says the unexpected voice of James behind me.
I almost jump a metre in the air, clutching my hand to my chest. "Jesus Christ, James!" I swat at his arm.
James laughs, throwing his head back. "Good to see you too, doll."
While James and Pepper exchange formalities, my cheeks heat up at the nickname he gave me. Doll? That's... cute.
"So, how did the two of you meet?", asks Pepper, pulling my attention towards her.
I glance at James, my brain racing to think of something. But thank the Lord, James is a quick thinker.
"It was our parents that introduced us, actually. We went to dinner and she just blew me off my socks with her charm." James wraps his arm around my shoulders, and I feel him slightly tremble.
I lay a reassuring hand on top of his, and smile at him. "Apparently me being late and all over the place is charming."
Pepper laughs heartily.
"Miss Potts, do you mind if I steal her for a moment?", asks James, a playful smile on his face.
Pepper nods with a wave of her hand. "Wisk her away, Mr Barnes." She winks towards me as James lays his hand on my lower back and leads me to somewhere. I make quick eye contact with Peter, and he smirks.
"Where are you taking me?" I look up at James with a small smile, my eyes focussing on his suit. It's well made in a dark blue colour with black lapels. "Nice suit", I compliment, feeling the fabric, velvet.
"This old thing?", chuckles James. He plucks on the sleeves, flexing his arms in the process.
A frown forms on my face as I notice the tightness of his left sleeve. I grab his arm and twist it around slightly. "Did you have this made or just bought it in a store?"
James looks weirdly at my question. "Ehrm... I think I let this made. Why?"
I tsk. "It's way too tight around your arm. Such a disgrace of such a fabulous suit. Are all your suits like this?"
"The ones I got before my accident do." He shrugs, grabbing two flutes of champagne, giving me one.
With a sigh, I shake my head. "I can't have that. My fiancé can't walk around with ill-fitting clothes." I swallow a big gulp of the champagne.
James smirks amused at my fussing, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me closer to him. "Do I now, hmm."
I roll my eyes playfully. "Sure, Jamie." Patting his arm.
"Jamie?" He bites his bottom lip, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly. "I didn't peg you as someone who gives nicknames."
My face heats up. "You were the one who started it with Doll. So, why shouldn't I give you one too?" I smooth out his lapel and pluck away the small amount of fluff that has stuck itself on the velvet.
"Aren't you two a cute pair", says a familiar voice behind me and I turn around excited, removing myself from James' arms.
"Thor!", I say excited, laughing loudly, throwing myself in the embrace of the old acquaintance. I quickly place the champagne flute down on a table next to me before Thor engulfs me in a bone-crushing hug.
Thor Odinson is the best friend of Clayton since high school. How the Norse hunk of meat and puny Clayton became friends, nobody knows, but he was always over at our place, dragging his brother with him.
"Smallest (Y/l/n), who are you?" His Norse accent is still prominent, but not as thick as it used to be. "Look at how much you have grown!" He twirls me around, a giggle bubbling up from my chest.
"I am fine, great actually. How are you? And how's Loki?" I grab one hand of his with both of mine, looking up at the tree of a man with the widest smile I have produced in a long while. It's been a good ten to fifteen years when I saw him for the last time.
"Loki’s okay, I think. He comes and goes like you know. How's the company? I've heard you are getting big!" Thor just beams infectious happiness.
A cough makes me realise James just stands awkwardly as I suddenly turn in one big ball of sunshine.
"Right, I am sorry. Thor, this is James Barnes. James, this is Thor Odinson. He is the childhood best friend of my brother." I watch how Thor and James exchange a weird, tense filled handshake.
"Are you her boyfriend? Because you two looked awfully close to each other." Thor wiggles his eyebrows, a smile on his lips that doesn't reach his eyes.
I give the Norsemen a sight jab in his ribs as a warning. But James is quicker than me in replying to the man.
"I am her fiancé, actually." He straightens up his posture, puffing out his chest. Even with James standing on his tippy toes, Thor towers over him.
Oh my fucking God, they’re alpha males, trying to outdo each other.
"I was complaining about his suit", I say quickly, pulling the focus back towards me before anything escalates. "Look at it! It's a disgrace!" I pull James' sleeve to give Thor a good look. "It's way too tight!"
Thor chuckles. "You're the pro, and if you say so, it must be true."
"Okay, keeper of the peace", I snort out with a roll of my eyes at his politically correct answer.
Another person joins the three of us, and I recognise him immediately. Steve Rogers. Chairman of the American Museum of Natural History. I make him suits for the last four years. He's my favourite customer by far. He is always respectful, tells funny stories, and knows his right from his wrong.
"Mr Rogers, it's so nice to see you again." I smile politely at him, reaching out to shake his hand.
"The pleasure is all mine." He lays a hand on his chest. "Bucky." He nods towards James and I raise my eyebrows.
"You two know each other?"
"We grew up together, actually. This punk always kept me out of trouble." Steve lays a firm hand on James' shoulder, squeezing it slightly. As if he's telling him to back down. Steve throws me a knowing glance.
A soft relieved sigh leaves my lips as I give him thankful eyes. Praise the Lord for Steve and his natural ability to know when something's going south.
My phone dings and I look at it.
Peter: Where are you?
"Pete's looking for me. It was so nice to see you again." I reach over and give Thor's hand one last squeeze, "we'll keep in touch, right?"
The Norseman nods. "Of course, little one. See you soon." Thor excuses himself and turns around, walking away.
"I'll walk you back", says James, but I shake my head.
"What? No, stay here, I can find my way back myself." I nod reassuringly at him.
Steve shakes his head. "Nonsense." He pushes James towards me. "Take Buck with you so he can't cause any more trouble."
A loud laugh bubbles in my chest while I link my arm with James'. "I knew he was no good news." I send James a wink, pulling him away from Steve in search of Peter.
"I have so many questions", grumbles James once we out of earshot of Steve.
"Begin at the first one", I say with a shrug.
"You have a brother?" He frowns.
A sigh leaves my lips. "I have three older brothers, to be exact. Bennie, Clayton, and Drew. Our age difference is pretty big. Bennie and I differ fifteen years, Clayton is twelve years older and Drew..." I stop a moment to think. "He is 9 years older, I believe. I don't know."
"You talk about them as if you don't like them." James cocks his head to the side, eyes scanning my face.
I shrug again, "they never really cared for me. Thor was the only one who really cared for me. He babysat me a lot when I was a kid." A sad smile takes over my features. "He is the brother I wanted but never got."
