Stay(Jyn Erso x Reader)
Summary: Reader crosses paths with Jyn in Garel City, then meet again just before the battle of Scarif.
Warnings: Character death mentioned, we know how this movie ends.
Words: 1,975
A/N: my sister asked me "why the hell haven't you written anything about Jyn Erso?" And I just couldn't believe I didn't have anything with my rebel wife. Also, it's a bit sad bc I'm sad and y'all gonna suffer with me.
In war there are some battles you can only win by losing, Scarif was one of them. You only wished the cost of it hadn't been so high.
Wished you hadn't waited so long to tell Jyn how much you loved her, how she had stole your heart all those years ago when you first met her:
Jyn stumbled into your life in an unexpected moment, she came uninvited into your place, exhausted, out of breath and options, begging for a place to hide from the stormtroopers who were chasing her.
She had just arrived in your homeworld, Garel, and even though she had only been there a few days, she had already caused all kinds of problems.
It wasn't easy to trust her immediately, she was a complete stranger and you knew that in a galaxy where you had to steal and lie to survive you couldn’t trust anyone. If it wouldn’t have been for the shimmer in her eyes full of hope you wouldn't have helped her.
Jyn was difficult to understand, reckless and stubborn but intelligent and even though she tried to hide it, she had a soft side that not everyone could see. She had lost too much in this fight, all the pain forced her to build walls as strong as the kyber around her neck to protect herself from getting hurt.
You better than anyone understood that. The Empire had taken everything away from you, leaving you with a constant ache in your heart and the need to be always on the run. Shortly after you lost your family and home you had promised yourself that you wouldn't get attached to anyone again, it was a risk you weren't willing to take, it was just too painful. There was not time for love during a war.
And then, you met her and despite the risks, you couldn't help yourself from falling for her.
“What do you think it’s like to not always be running?” you asked her once, softly playing with her hair.
“Boring.” she joked with a big smile over her face, chuckling as you pressed a kiss on her temple that rested on your shoulder. “Peaceful.” she added in a serious tone now remembering her childhood and even though she had to run sometimes those years were the calmest of her life, she felt that same peace when she was with you and it worried her how close she had grown to you.
“I want that.” you told her “I want a peaceful life, with you. And I believe it’s possible. No more hiding, no more running… no more Empire.”
“You sound like one of those rebels.” she chuckled.
“Would that be bad?” you questioned.
“What do you mean, love?” Jyn asked, still hoping you were just joking around.
“There’s a group of rebels here in Garel City searching for recruits. Pilots, Jyn, they need pilots. I could finally be a pilot and fly across the galaxy.” you told her, excited with the idea of becoming part of something bigger.
“Y/N.... “ she started but you cut her off.
“Just think about it, Jyn. We are already stealing from the Empire and I’m sick and tired of seeing stormtroopers everywhere. You know I'm a better pilot than anyone in Garel and with your knowledge on codes you could really help the rebellion.”
“No.” She snapped turning to look at you directly in the eyes, she was serious, even a bit angry. "I'm not going to be part of this fight, not now nor never." She said in a very defensive way.
"But we can win this, I know if we join them-"
"Don't ask me that," Jyn cut you off shaking her head almost imperceptibly "don't ask me to follow you to this war because I can't. I've lost everything because of this fight, my home, my family, I can't risk to lose you too."
You understood why she didn't want to be part of it yet you felt it was something you needed to do with or without her, yet you wished she would be there with you.
"Alright." You murmured after a long silence. "I won't join the rebellion for now but please, promise me you'll think about it."
"I'll try."
"That's enough for me." You smiled at her before pulling her into a fresh new kiss.
The rebellion could wait, as long as you had Jyn by your side you were in peace, you were home and you hoped this would have never changed but unfortunately both of you had already taken different paths.
You wanted to fly with the rebellion, Jyn wasn't ready to get involved into the fight that had brought her nothing but pain.
So she left.
Jyn left by the morning, afraid of getting more attached to you than she already was. Something in the way your face seemed so relaxed when you were asleep made her heart melt every single time. For moments she considered your idea of joining the rebellion, she even considered the idea of running to a lonely planet and get a farm, just like her parents had done when she was a child. But the memories of her golden childhood only reminded her all the pain she had gone through, she couldn't take another war.
It hurt when she left, more than you'd like to admit but you weren't mad at her, only blame yourself for breaking your own promise and falling in love with her.
The rebellion was all you knew for a while, all that mattered for years. You forced yourself to concentrate on the cause, on becoming a better pilot but from time to time you found yourself thinking about Jyn, wondering where she was and if she was alright. You never stopped loving her.
And then one day, you found her again in the least expected place.
You had seen many strange things in the rebellion, met too many faces from every corner of the galaxy and yet, you never expected to see this face again, at least not here at the central base of the Rebel Alliance.
For a moment you thought your tired mind was playing tricks on you after a long restless week, however as you got closer to her you were more than sure this was not happening in your mind but in front of you.
Soft brown hair, tender lips that used to curve into a smile in the past now tightly closed as her light green eyes stared challenging at the person standing in front of her.
There was no doubt it was her.
It was Jyn.
"Jyn" you mumbled. Her eyes filled with surprise when she spotted you between the small crowd.
"It's you." Jyn said as if she was unable to believe it. "I see you joined the rebellion after all."
"I did." You told her. "I'm a pilot now, just like I always dreamed."
"Then your rebellion might be able to win this war after all, having you with them." She said with a playful smile on her lips. Kriff, you had missed this woman so much.
Your life felt complete now that Jyn was back on it, you were absolutely happy to see her again, to hear her voice rumbling through the room where the council was having a big decision. She looked so different, speaking confident about this dangerous weapon and the weakness her own father has planted inside it. You wondered what had changed her mind so drastically, wished you had time to catch up with her, but you never got your chance.
As soon as the meeting with the council was over and the answer was negative you saw her walking outside with a cold yet decided face.
You knew that serious expression on her face, it only meant one thing: she was about to do a very stupid thing. You've seen it before how impulsive she could be, and how much of an effect the death of her father had on her. If you didn't stop her she would get herself killed.
"Jyn, wait" you called. You arrived just when a small group of rebels seemed to prepare to leave. Among them you recognized Captain Andor and the Imperial pilot deserter. "What is this?"
"Scarif. My father left that for me, your friends don't seem to understand how important it is."
"I know" you murmured "I know how much this means to you, but the rebel alliance is doing the best they can. Give them some time-
"Time is the last thing we have." she added. "We have to act now. Come with me."
From the other side of the angar a voice called for her.
"Jyn, we're ready" said Bodhi, Jyn looked over her shoulders and nodded before turning her green gaze back at you questioning.
"So, are you coming?"
In the past you would have said yes, no matter where you'd follow Jyn Erso, even to the end of the world just to be with her. And even though you wanted to go with her you had a responsibility with the Rebellion, a commitment to the fight. But maybe, only maybe she could be the one to stay.
Taking her hands on yours you sighed, searching for the right words, choosing them carefully.
"I know you, Jyn. And I know there is nothing I can say to stop you from going in this rather crazy mission" you spoke admiring her features, her delicate hair falling over her face. "But I am begging you that just this time, stay. Please."
Instead of answering like she usually would do she just looked at you confused yet a nostalgic look in her eyes.
"I've been fighting without a cause, Y/N" she said "now that I found it I can't just do nothing. I need to do this."
You knew it, you understood that but it was so hard to let her go. You always hated to see her leave.
"Stay" you repeated taking one of her hands in yours. Ready to tell her those words you had been waiting a long time to confess and couldn't hold anymore "I love you, Jyn. I have always loved you."
A soft smile curved Jyn's delicate lips before she leaned to press a sweet kiss on your lips, her hand resting over the side of your face. Her kiss was as sweet as you remembered, bringing back memories of all those times she had kissed you before and all you went through together. Yet you couldn't help but feel like this was more than a regular kiss, it was somehow a goodbye.
"You're the only person I have ever truly loved." She told you, breaking the kiss, her face inches away from yours. "I am going on this mission to keep you safe, to have the possibility of that peaceful life we used to talk about. I hope you understand that." she explained.
"I do" you murmured "But please, come back safe." You told her. Jyn pressed a new but shorter kiss on your lips.
"I will." she told you.
"Jyn, it's now or never." Cassian yelled. Jyn observed you for a second, memorising your features to remind herself her reason to fight. You.
You nodded at her as if she was waiting for your approval. She gave you a last smile before she ran towards the big Imperial cargo ship that soon disappeared out of the cloudy sky of Yavin IV on its way to Scarif.
That was the last time you saw her.
Sometimes you wished she would have stayed, just like you asked her. Wished she would be there to see the galaxy free from the Empire, to finally have that peaceful life you dreamed of. But you knew without her it would never have been possible.
Tagging: @natasha-danvers
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