My Top 10 Favorite Mystery Science Theater Episodes
I was asked recently at my job, Christine why do you like watching bad movies? My answer was, well I like to suffer (kidding). But my true response was well ever since I was kid, I’ve watched Mystery Science Theater 3000 (or MST3K for all you non watchers). I remember every Saturday on Comedy Central or SyFy (it was first on CC but later moved to SyFy), my family would gather around the TV to see which movie Joel or Mike would rip apart this week. It was one of the few shows my family loves to watch together. Hell my first date with my boyfriend we talked about our love of this show and we’ve been watching it together ever since. That’s how much this show has been a part of my life. Now it’s coming back with new episodes on Netflix and I can’t fucking wait! My thoughts of I wonder what movies they are going to riff, I wonder if Crow still like to dress up like bear, if Tom Servo still hates Canada.
Those have never of this show,what the hell is wrong with you? (kidding again). Well the show is basically about three people (well two robots and a human) that are forced to watch bad movies, by Dr. Forrester or Pearl Forrester (depending on which season you watch). While watching the movie though, they make jokes. Yea it’s that simple. A silhouette of them is shown through out, and it makes it look like an actual movie theater watching experience.
If you have never seen the show, I couldn’t recommend this show enough. This list hopefully help you get started on you MST3K binge watch. There are almost 200 episodes of the original show, which yes it’s a lot. But this list are my personal favorite, this is how I introduce the show to people who have never seen it. Spoiler: The number one pick is the one I show everyone who want to watch this show for the first time.
This is my list, aka my personal opinion. If you are a fan of the show and you don’t see your favorite, let me know in the comments.
Just a short mention, I won’t be including the shorts on my list, just the movies. Some of the movies on my list may include a short, but know I love all the shorts they do. I know Youtube has a bunch of them on their so check it out!
10. Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders
You would think with a title like Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders it would be movie of child like wonder and magic. Instead this movie is an scary, horrifying story that Grandpa (Ernst Borgnine) is telling his grandson. These stories consist of man who uses Merlin’s Magic Book to cast spell which back fires (literally it ends with a fire) which ends in a death. An evil monkey with cymbal that causes people to dye if he crashes his cymbals. I won’t say this movie is full of wonders and Merlin. It’s a horror movie being told as a bed time story to a kid. Luckily the gang at MST3K joke about how the movie that sounds like it’s going to be a magical family movie, instead you’ll have nightmares about that monkey. My favorite part is when they cut to gag jokes in which the show fake children's book that looks innocent but when they open the book, it was ugly let’s say. So if you’re looking for a title that looks like it’s going to be something it’s not, this is the perfect movie for you.
9. Santa Claus
This is one of two of Christmas specials on this list. This movie is about Santa Claus (yea so you’re thinking). How about Santa Claus vs.the Devil. Damn. Made in Mexico, this 1959 movie tell you the real story of Santa, not living in the North Pole but in a castle in the sky. He doesn’t have elves, he has children from all around the world make the toys for him (and make them sing a song from their country). He also only goes to three house and fights the Devil for a little girls soul. I love to watch this episode every Christmas. I laugh just watching Santa wined up his reindeer (you’ll see when you watch it). The jokes are spot on with the gang, especially when the kids sing their songs, I crack up every time. So if you’re looking for a new Christmas special to watch in December, watch this I promise it will take that depression from looking at your bank account after a trip on Amazon,go away.
8. Soultaker
What do you get when you have, the early 90′s, writer and star in the movie and Joe Estevez as a grim reaper, you get a crappy movie. Thank goodness we have Mike Nelson and his robot pals to make this movie less painful. One of the character in this movie has the biggest chin I’ve ever seen in my life, and of course they rip him and Joe Estevez apart with their acting. My favorite part in this episode is when the girl is about to get naked, Crow gets excited until he gets something in his eye and he has to leave the theater. When he comes back she’s fully dressed again and he gets angry. This movie is full of bad acting, a story that feels like it’s dragging on and on and an Estevez! Enjoyable has hell.
7. Manos: The Hands of Fate
Any bad movie lover has heard of this movie. Manos is a classic so bad it’s good movie and this is how I saw this movie for the first time. A movie that has bad acting, bad sound editing and a story I really don’t get to this day. But thanks to this episode it brought this movie into the main stream. It also brought Torgo, a character from this movie into a couple of the regular episodes. This movie can drag on, even the robots and Joel say “ Do Something” through the movie. Though I don’t think it’s a strong as the others on this list, I still think it’s funny episode and it brought this movie the attention it needs.
6. Mitchell/ Final Justice
I know I’m cheating by putting two movies at number 6 (but then again it’s my fucking list and I’m going to do whatever I want). I had t hard time trying to pick which Joe Don Baker movie to put above the other so it’s a tie. There is a sort of thing when it’s a Joe Don Baker movie that show something happens (to Joel). In Mitchell it was Joel’s last episode as host, in which he passes it to Mike. In Final Justice, Joel makes a cameo in which was a great build up. The movies both have Joe Don Baker as a cop. He’s above the law though so he’s a tough cop who yells at kids and goes to another country in his Taxes Ranger get up. In both of these movies the guys make fart noises and food jokes. Sound immature, but if you know me you know that I act like a kid most of the time so it’s funny.
5. Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
This made for PBS movie is a classic. This Raul Julia (He played Gomez in the Addams Family movies) star as Fingal (yes that name is riffed a lot in this episode) a man who get doppeled into a computer. If you don’t know what doppeling is, well I really don’t either. Best way to put it, a guy’s mind is now in a computer and he’s is messing with a big companies computer system. This movie is confusing but with three others who also have no idea what’s going on either it makes this movie enjoyable. My favorite part is at the end where Fingal and this fat guy (yes that’s his name in the movie) have a basic staring contest. Just the jokes of them staring are enough to make this movie laughable. Also as a side gag they do this fake pledge drive like they do at PBS, even if you’ve never seen this movie you’ll love the pledge drive gags. Please watch this and realize how much PBS means a lot in pop culture (I’m talking to you all you people who want to take away ELMO)
4. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Spoiler: Santa never conquers the Martians. Yes I know sad. This movie is so cheaply made, I mean just look at that picture. The actors that played martians look like they just put on some green paint, made their own costumes and said ok let’s shot a movie. Heck even a guy dressed up like a polar bear looks like he made that thing himself. The episode is a classic when it comes to MST3K fans. My dad told me he remember watching this movie when he was young, and watching it now you why my dad told me this movie sucked. The movie itself is really really bad but these jokes are spot on. The gang also sings a funny song called “A Patrick Swyaze Christmas” (RIP PS). This episode is full of Christmas Spirit and a sold riff on a not so great holiday classic.
3. Hobgoblins
So I have to point out that this is my boyfriend’s favorite episode. He was a little upset that this wasn’t number 1 on my list. But like I said before it’s my list (not even my boyfriend can change that). I will say though that this is on my list because it’s the best movie that defines the 80′s. Hobgoblins is a big rip off of the Gremlins movie. But these Hobgoblins are locked in a safe until they are freed but a guy who is as brave as the lawyer in Jurassic Park. His friends and his girlfriend are the worst people you can meet. There is even a fight with rakes (yes the lawn tool )and they just use the wooden part that makes a sound effect every time they hit them. I love this episode for all the jokes they make on the over sexed Jesse Spano look a like. I will watch this episode if I’m sad or need to be reminded that there are worse movies than Norm of the North. Please watch this one for your 80′s kick.
2. The Final Sacrifice
This fucking movie is the best Canadian riffing movie (Sorry Canada i love your style but this is just a great episode). With a teenager that sounds like he’s reached puberty a couple of times, a man who lives in a house that sounds like a cartoon character, a cult that looks like they are going to rob a bank and the greatest hero Canada has Rowsdower! That beer drinking, mullet wear, over weight beauty of a man. Yes now you know what my twitter name means (that’s @heyrowsdower on my twitter for all of you who want to follow). Just think average Joe on an adventure. But what makes this episode my number 2, the jokes are spot on. The way this episode flows, how the character react to what’s happening the screen, even the side gags are just so funny that I don’t want to spoil. I just say please watch this one, after you watch my favorite MST3K episode...
drum roll my number 1 pick for my favorite episode of MST3K is....
1. Space Mutiny
This is my favorite hands down episode of MST3K ever. Not going to lie it was hard to write this list, heck I left out a bunch of great ones, like Werewolf, Eegah and Time Chasers. But I knew the whole time when writing my list what my number one was going to be. I remember watching this episode on TV for the first time and I pissed myself because these jokes are what make this show a classic. A movie that takes scenes from the show Battle Star, has the love interest who looks older than her father, show a women being killed then in the next scene she’s there alive and well. But I think what makes this episode the best is the names they give to the main hero Dave Rider. Calling him Buff Drinks Lots, Bulk Vander Huge, Flint Ironstaff, etc. I also show this episode to someone who has never seen this show telling them this is what this show is about. Three people making fun of a movie and looking like they are having a great time.
I hope this list will help you start your new obsession (your welcome). I really want those who have never seen the show to check it out. There are some episodes on Netflix now, including Space Mutiny so no excuses!