#bugbuttonmashing

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it would be cool as fuck to be a hagfish because i could tie myself in a knot and release my slime #myslime

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third rewatch of wake up dead man and i just noticed that Martha has a scar on her right cheek by her eye where Grace struck her when she was a child... ohhhghh and in the cut from the flashback to the present they draw attention directly to it....

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it's a whole new year and I'm thinking about ants

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sighs. fuck. i have to fill out all this stuff for this psych eval and the questions are so hard. thinking about them is hard. answering them is hard. it's triggering and it's painful and it sucks. but i know i have to do it but hhh

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also I rewatched keep beach city weird and. I really hope we get to see more Ronaldo in Lars of the Stars. I know he's annoying in Steven Universe— of course he is! (Frankly, so is Lars, and so is Steven! They're adolescents! It's developmentally appropriate!) He's an awkward, geeky teenager whose family aren't interested in his passion, living in a tourist-trap town where all of the exciting and interesting things seem to happen to everyone except for him. That's... something that I noticed, actually, in rewatching this episode: not just the running joke of wacky stuff happening whenever Ronaldo isn't around to see it or experience it, but the way Ronaldo feels about that. He even cries out something like "it should have been me!" and in the admittedly few Ronaldo-focused episodes we have, that's a theme that continues. Ronaldo laments, and possibly even resents, the fact that exciting magical things don't happen to him, that he doesn't have some magical destiny. How unfair is it, now, that his former friend Lars, someone who rejected him at least in part because of his geekiness and the shame that Lars felt about being interested in that sort of thing, has literally become an undead space pirate, while Ronaldo, as far as we know, is still working at his family's fry shop? Hell, even Peedee, his little brother, has opened his own food truck and is doing his thing. What does Ronaldo have?

... Well, in Keep Beach City Weird, we see Ronaldo theorizing, collecting information that may seem unrelated and working hard to try and connect them. And yeah, sometimes he's wrong— he was wrong about the snake people (sneople), after all. But sometimes? "Polymorphic sentient rocks! They're here to hollow the earth as part of the great diamond authority!" ...he was spot-on with that one, and I don't think he ever even got to have it confirmed.

Anyway, I think there's some really cool stuff they could do with Ronaldo in Lars of the Stars. I would love to see him as, like, the "guy on the ground" for Lars and his crew. Like Wade from Kim Possible or Q from James Bond, working behind the scenes to collect information and point our heroes in the right (or maybe the wrong) direction. I definitely want to see them address Lars and Ronaldo's relationship, though!

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just used the word "sessile" when i meant "sedentary" yeah that guy was so barnacle

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i went on linkedin today and updated my profile picture. i looked at my resume. i signed up for indeed flex and looked for jobs but apparently there is nothing within 50 miles. my husband says i should feel proud of myself but i don't. it doesn't feel like anything, even though it is. it's just so frustrating and demoralizing and i feel like I'll never be a "real" person and like I'll never amount to anything more than I've already been. idk. idk.

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hanging out at the hydrothermal vent tonight would anyone like to chemosynthesize with me