hi! i'm beetle! 🪲 some of you may know me as bughemoth, or krudar, or beetlefucker, or thisyearsbug. maybe, i dunno, luigiman? luigiman777? luigimanultra7? mamaluigi7? (can you tell i had a hyperfixation as a kid...?) anyway, i'm here writing this diary entry of sorts to reintroduce myself to the world and present me as me. it's a sort of symbolic therapeutic act, i guess. whatever it needs to be called to move the process along!
it's been a long time since i've felt like i have been making... art. used to draw a lot, kinda fell off the digital drawing wagon. never had strong foundations with physical media n my PC reads my tablet input wrong. my brain's flush with ideas—i feel like i've already made a lot of things, but it's all internal structuring. i have Worldbuilding and Lore, which is the artists way of saying i'm increasingly delusional after frequent and repeat retreating into my own mind. i have original characters with stories i need to flesh out, scenarios and situations to expand upon (pun intended), portrayals of character to enact and finetune, theological ideas that consume my idle mind... i'm the God of my own world, and i'd like to keep it that way.
but uh, real life's life's tough and i'd rather not rely on more of my body than i need to. i'm burnt out from existing on the mortal coil. believe me, i have a lot of words to say about politics and sociology and theology. but now's not the time for that, im tryina fuck!! i've got bigger things in mind, larger plans to enact, and i need to feel at my best to get through it all! and i need to rejuvenate myself through art again, return to being able to communicate my inner world to the world outside of me. ive been seeing that phrase thats like, make it exist you can make it good later or whatever. it's a good way to think about stuff! and i already exist, so... i just gotta make that existence good!
anyway, thanks for reading! ill be using this blog for buggy thoughts and eventually a more proper art/askblog-style roleplay experience. please bear with me as i collect myself in an attempt to move forward. thank you for being part of my story with me!💚 -beetle 🪲