Jul 26, 2021
HINGHAM, MA—A squirrel and a historic home of Abraham Lincoln form an elaborate conspiracy to crash a 2014 Audi Q7. Sources speculate that a theatre is also involved.
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HINGHAM, MA—A squirrel and a historic home of Abraham Lincoln form an elaborate conspiracy to crash a 2014 Audi Q7. Sources speculate that a theatre is also involved.
PORTLAND, ORE—We are shocked to learn that the Portland Police Association attacked a Porsche SUV last night. And as you know, law enforcement protect their own and the building remains at large.
MISSOURI—The unforgiveable act of aggression shows that cars have trusted buildings for far too long.
BROOKLYN, NY—Out of control building rams car at full speed.
PORTLAND, OR—Drag-racing house crashes into minivan.
TELLURIDE, CO—Nature joins hippies in War on Cars.
AUSTIN, TX—War on Cars so intense that cars embrace self-hatred and attack each other.
LAS VEGAS, NV—Don’t believe the War on Cars is real? Yesterday a building attacked an innocent car a mere half block from one of our reporters. Take note: THEY are everywhere!