I am the scum of the Earth
I just told my 21 year old sister, my youngest sibling, to stop making pasta until she could figure out how to make it. She was upset, reasonably so. After all, who would I be to tell my precious sibling to not enjoy delicious, gluten-filled pasta with gusto? What of her child? What is he to eat if not tasty pasta with meat sauce?
Except I have "taught" her at least a dozen times how to make spaghetti. Which includes
Boiling the water
Salting the water
Putting the pasta in the pot in the boiling, salty water
Stirring and allowing the pasta to boil for 8-10 minutes, 9 for al dente according to the instructions on the package
Seriously. A dozen times. And ya wanna know what happens when I'm not watching the pot for her?
She dumps the pasta in lukewarm water and stirs it once to get it all wet THEN she turns up the heat so it can slowly rise up to a boil. And she walks the fuck away.
I'm not sure if you know what happens to slightly overcooked pasta but it gets a bit slippery and the texture has no bite. It's just a bit disagreeable. Way overcooked pasta tho?
Sticky af. Glutinous. Like eating partially dried clumps of glue. Like eating paper clay. No flavor, just like eating clumps of flavorless dough.
So I told her to skip on the pasta today. Why? Because I am tired and don't feel like babysitting the pot right now. Also, she wanted meat sauce and she never drains the excess fat so you end up with a pool of it on top of the classic spaghetti sauce she buys.
But I'm a terrible person for this. Just total trash for telling her to read the instructions on the back of the pasta. I should be struck down.
Next thing you know I'll be telling her that she needs to salt & season the spanish rice before allowing it to simmer. There is a special place in Hell for people like me.