Totally Kinda Sorta Not Really Ashamed but...

Laura | age 25 | a not-very-good artist | depression & anxiety | a procrastinating perfectionist

[randomsplashes]

papa mochi has a gift for baby mochi

[chasingmycoattails]

The interaction between James Corden and Jimin was one of the cutest things I've ever seen

[neil-gaiman]

Here are some pictures from my phone with Michael Sheen in them...

[thatsbelievable]

[hamelin-born]

@lectorel @deadcatwithaflamethrower

[deadcatwithaflamethrower]

Unscented is just fine but the pillows better be really nice.

[lazylittledragon]

my hand aches too much to finish this but i’m posting it anyway because good grief

(x)

[chasingmycoattails]

This is too good I love it

[sharky-sharks]

Lush was selling these today!🦈

Text SHARKATTACK to 40649 and sign the pledge!🦈

[gluttonousgoddess]

or we could let an unnecessary danger to swimmers die.

[yourladyindank]

No the fuck we can’t. Because last I checked humans don’t own the fucking ocean, and last I checked, they’re IMPORTANT apex predators, a super necessary part of the ecosystem. Not to mention NEW YORKERS bite 10x as many people as sharks do a year. More people die from lightning and fireworks than form sharks.

Sharks aren’t a problem. They never have been. People are.

[jeza-red]

if you swim where the sharks are, it’s on you buddy, the animal gotta eat you don’t gotta swim

[gluttonousgoddess]

To @keyhollow let sharks die naturally, don’t go hunting them. Last I checked there’s no such thing as an important apex predator. Why on Earth are New Yorkers biting people? Know what we did to lightning? We found ways to deal with them. I’d say firework damage is usually from stupidity.

To @jeza-red so nobody can enjoy the beach now. The animal doesn’t got to eat innocent bystanders that are definitely not fish.

[yourladyindank]

I’m gonna ignore 95% of that and focus on the apex predator part.

They’re super important because they control prey animal populations, of prey animal populations get out of control it can heavily and possibly irreversibly damage flora, other fauna, and land. A keystone predator is literally irreplaceable

[gluttonousgoddess]

A “keystone predator” is nowhere near irreplaceable.

[yourladyindank]

Do you know what keystone means??

[gluttonousgoddess]

First off, calling something a keystone predator is erroneous at best. Second, keystones can be replaced.

[yourladyindank]

No

You literally just have no idea what you’re talking about.

https://eu.oceana.org/en/importance-sharks-0

http://www.sharksavers.org/en/education/the-value-of-sharks/sharks-role-in-the-ocean/

Sharks play a critical role in keeping our oceans healthy and in balance because most shark species are at the top of the marine food web.

The Importance of Sharks

[whostolemymonkey]

@miasmicsiren If you’re too stupid to read adult content, there’s even a children’s book on the subject!

[gluttonousgoddess]

Cherrypicking sources from shark apologists won’t work for you either.

[beckyhop]

Ah yes. “Shark apologists”. Those who defend the problematic behavior of *checks notes* preserving species and protecting the ecosystem.

[eroticcannibal]

Sharks aren’t even that dangerous to humans! Not only are shark bites PRETTY DAMN RARE, but they can be easily avoided by taking steps like not swimming where sharks are and utilising specially designed swim suits that prevent the sharks from mistaking you for food, and even shark mail, that stops their teeth piercing your flesh if they do bit you! You can learn how to drive them off in case of an attack and not swim alone to increase your chances of survival, should the worst happen! Sharks, the majority of the time, bite out of curiosity because they don’t have hands. Don’t look interesting. (Also they are absolute BABIES and you should interact them with the guidance of a professional if you have the chance.)

[f1rstperson]

There is a lot going on here but i think what i’m caught on the most is “shark apologists”.

[themintycupcake]

SHARK APOLOGIST I’m gonna fucking die. Sharks are problematic for fucking existing. Lord have mercy.

[hotboyproblems]

Baby: *looks just above my head*

Me: what is it child. what invisible horrors do you see with your baby eyes.

[caitmayart]

Blame @2impostors and @thegreyhunt on twitter

[chasingmycoattails]

Is this not how I address my favorite asshole, Jack?

[batteredshoes]

Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you.— James 5:1-6

[arythusa]

At first I thought this was an angry Tumblr post but then it turned out to be the Literal Bible and it got 1000x better

[serpents-fr]

i thought op was a witch and was cursing rich people and i got so into it

[kaijuno]

This is what it’s like living in Michigan

[the-new-mandalor]

It’s a Monty Python skit.

[flyingwerecats]

Guy: *Singing* I’m doing some fishing…

Officer: *Emerges from the water with a grunt* You there, Sir!! I certainly hope you’ve got a fishing license!

Guy: *Panicking* Wha, no, I don’t!

Officer: Oh no?

Guy: *Screaming*

Officer: I’ll have you beheaded!!

[poltoncarayko]

i feel as if robert pattinson’s batman could go full slut and no i will not elaborate on that

[bright-eyed]

[machi-kuragi]

tohru hate is not tolerated in this house

[midarumanga-blog]

[uncuteartist]

Hello.

[chasingmycoattails]

Oh goodness I miss my chickens now

[solarmorrigan]

So. 10th grade English class. We all come in one morning to find a balloon and a perfectly sharpened pencil on each of our desks. No instructions, no explanation, which is strange, because our teacher is meticulous about that sort of thing. A couple of people try to ask her and she says we’ll get to it. She takes role and then announces that she needs to go to the copy room and she’ll be back in a couple of minutes

Kinda unorthodox, but no one is complaining because this is advanced English and the teacher usually goes kinda hard. So, y’know. Brief respite. We all sit and chat; one of the boys teasingly steals a girl’s balloon, but gives it back to her easily enough; it’s quiet and kind of a nice break. Then the teacher comes back, stops in the doorway, and just stares at us

After a long moment, she says, confused, “You didn’t pop the balloons.”

To which one of the guys about two rows over exclaims, “We’re allowed to pop them?” and immediately turns around and stabs his friend’s balloon with the pencil

There is a vicious revenge balloon-stabbing, and a few more people pop seatmates’ balloons or their own, and the whole time the teacher is just shaking her head. “I can’t believe you didn’t pop your balloons.”

Apparently we were starting Lord of the Flies that day and she wanted to demonstrate the basic concept of kids turning on each other when there are no authority figures present and it was basically my favorite failed social experiment ever

[loveharuokumura]

Back in my 10th grade we did a similar things around Lord of the Flies, where we had a test scheduled for that day, and when we walked in, the teacher took role by looking through the window of the door and never entered the classroom. On the board were three tasks written and the teacher had brought in donuts. At first we all sat around and waited for the teacher to come in, but eventually we just started tackling the list of tasks. Task 1- the test. Everybody took it silently, no one cheated, everyone turned it in and we went on to Task Two: tidy up the room. So we did, we split into a couple groups and each one cleaned an area of the room. Task Three: Hand out the donuts. There were 12 donuts, and 30 of us. So we split the donuts into thirds, each took a third, and left the extras for the teacher. After this, the teacher came in absolutely FUMING. She was so upset we had followed all the rules and completed the tasks. Apparently she had been texting kids telling them to start some chaos but they all ignored it because they were too nice. She tried to dock our grades for not going absolutely wild because it meant her class didn’t get the point across

[hookedonafeeeling]

That’s because lord of the flies isn’t representative of humanity it’s representative of rich white male shitheads

[officialnormfanblog]

stan lee obliterates rob liefeld in the name of thoughtful character design

(yes the rob liefeld)

[maximilianyearsbc]

Holy shit

[vivecguccibelt]

I’m genuinely surprised Rob let anyone else talk in this video

[chasingmycoattails]

Purposeful design is important but also, just making the character not look like a complete disaster would be a good start.

[owlmylove]

(via twitter)

[gothiccharmschool]

Goals. So many goals.

[academicssay]

On poverty and pronunciation in academia

[jazzybot4]

Oh.

[confusionofconfusions-deactivat]

Why I never mock or even bring attention to mispronunciation in a conversation, and will snap down anyone who tries to

[bogfox]

Besides poverty, for many peoplevEnglish is a second (or third+) language and has weird rules too. Most of the time, even when words are mispronounced, they’re still understandable if you make an effort. Just be patient and don’t look down on people who mispronounce!

[chasingmycoattails]

This is important

[chasingmycoattails]

I am the scum of the Earth

I just told my 21 year old sister, my youngest sibling, to stop making pasta until she could figure out how to make it. She was upset, reasonably so. After all, who would I be to tell my precious sibling to not enjoy delicious, gluten-filled pasta with gusto? What of her child? What is he to eat if not tasty pasta with meat sauce?

Except I have "taught" her at least a dozen times how to make spaghetti. Which includes

Boiling the water

Salting the water

Putting the pasta in the pot in the boiling, salty water

Stirring and allowing the pasta to boil for 8-10 minutes, 9 for al dente according to the instructions on the package

Seriously. A dozen times. And ya wanna know what happens when I'm not watching the pot for her?

She dumps the pasta in lukewarm water and stirs it once to get it all wet THEN she turns up the heat so it can slowly rise up to a boil. And she walks the fuck away.

I'm not sure if you know what happens to slightly overcooked pasta but it gets a bit slippery and the texture has no bite. It's just a bit disagreeable. Way overcooked pasta tho?

Sticky af. Glutinous. Like eating partially dried clumps of glue. Like eating paper clay. No flavor, just like eating clumps of flavorless dough.

So I told her to skip on the pasta today. Why? Because I am tired and don't feel like babysitting the pot right now. Also, she wanted meat sauce and she never drains the excess fat so you end up with a pool of it on top of the classic spaghetti sauce she buys.

But I'm a terrible person for this. Just total trash for telling her to read the instructions on the back of the pasta. I should be struck down.

Next thing you know I'll be telling her that she needs to salt & season the spanish rice before allowing it to simmer. There is a special place in Hell for people like me.