I might have gone a titch overboard on this... but, uh, enjoy!
Breaking Point by theteakettlewasleftonlastnight
Summary: Burnie hates being single, and he hates sleeping around with random people after getting shitfaced drunk. He can’t help but do it though, until Michael comes to work for Achievement Hunter, and things get heated.
WC: 4045
Los Angeles (I’m Not Here For The Glamour, I’m Here For You) by montes-carpatus
Summary: Joel typically hated their trips to Los Angeles.
WC: 1533
Baby blues by Hidakaku5
Summary: A question that was brought up during a podcast has consumed Joel’s thoughts.
WC: 315
Untitled by cockchomps
Summary: Drunken make outs and the morning after.
WC: 803
T: Substance Abuse
Prompt 6 by fanfictionolivia
Summary: Gavin’s confession leads to burnie doing something unexpected
WC: 665
Not your date by anonfanfictions
Summary: Gavin gets stuck with Drunk Burnie at a Rooster Teeth company party.
WC: 764
Meeting the parents by murraybeth
Summary: Burnie and Gavin go on their first date and Burnie has to face Geoff and Griffon’s protective behavior.
WC: 1614
Danger in an Art Gallery by Caffineassassin
Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Summary: Ray is dragged to an art gallery by his parents and things take a strange turn
WC: 155217 - Complete
Odd man out by sannguine
Summary: Ray gets a confidence booster from Burnie
WC: 1172
His hands by kenezbian02
Summary: Barbara sees Burnie in a new light.
WC: 639
Sxsw smooches by ryan-haywood
Summary: The Roosterteeth party at SXSW, was, as always, the highlight for the entire Roosterteeth staff.
WC: 1034
A sad sight by kenezbian02
Summary: Jack comes to the office late at night and finds Burnie in a bad state.
WC: 483
Birthday wishes by xxxmlgbongh1tzxxx
Summary: After not talking to each other for a while, Burnie gets Geoff a birthday present.
WC: 381
Pressure by fanfictionolivia
Summary: It was when Gus pushed away from his desk, with a sigh, and walked into the kitchen that he realized he had a problem
burnie/kerry/miles, burnie and miles spitroasting kerry
(⊙‿⊙✿)
When Miles asks you if you want a threesome, you think it's a joke. At first, anyway. That's why you say you're down. Then, it starts to feel... significantly less like a joke, and significantly more serious.
You're still down with it.
The more you think about it, the more you think it actually might be fun.
Then, Miles brings home Burnie. For a while, you don't think anything of it. Burnie coming over to hang out wouldn't exactly be counted as something unusual. Except that Miles springs a question on the both of you, one that very nearly makes you snort water out your nose.
"So, do either of you want to, like... do this? I mean, both of you would be good. But if either of you don't want to, we won't. I'm just asking."
Miles is trying to get you to sleep with your boss. He's trying to get your boss to sleep with you, for fuck's sake! You'd kill him if it weren't for the jail time. That, and the look Burnie just got on his face. It almost looks like he's... considering it. No fucking way.
Finally, Burnie breaks the silence with, "let's do it," and you swear you feel your heart in your throat.
You can't really say no to that. All you can actually do is nod. You do so with far too little hesitation and everything after that is almost like a blur. Miles pulling you up off the couch, forcing you to stand and dragging you to your bedroom by the arm once you're good and stable on your feet. Burnie following you into your room, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
Your boss is in your bed, ready to have a threesome with you and your boyfriend.
Your attractive boss.
Yeah.
This is fucking awesome.
After a short silence, Miles looks Burnie square in the eyes and says, "mouth or ass?"
Burnie looks surprised for half a second, looking between you and Miles and then gesturing to him. "You...?"
That gets both you and Miles laughing, no matter how weird it feels that your boyfriend is talking about you like you're a thing. "He's talking about me," you say, flopping down on your bed next to where Burnie is and then sitting up. You lean on him a little, telling yourself that, with how intimate you're going to be getting, leaning on him a little is not a big deal.
You catch Miles smirking at you out of the corner of your eye, and you want to hit him for being so fucking smug. Instead, you put on a bit of a show for him. Cuddle up real close to Burnie and kiss his ear, wrap your arms around his shoulders and let your hands rest on his chest.
"What's his mouth like?" It surprises you that Burnie's trying so hard to ignore you, talking to your boyfriend about you like you aren't even there.
"Good," Miles grins at you, "a little toothy, but it's so cute when it's him. Not that toothy, anyway. Just a bit."
Yeah. You'd definitely kill Miles if you could get away with it. You are absolutely one hundred percent sure you'd do it.
You keep kissing Burnie, though. Work your way down his neck, pull his shirt aside a little to kiss at his shoulder. He's taking way too long deciding what he wants.
Eventually, he asks, "how's his ass?"
Miles gives you a little look, then says, "so, so fucking tight."
They're talking about you like you're a toy. You... actually kind of like it. A lot. Whoa. It's not something you'd expect to ever be into. That's probably a thought everybody has about their weirder fetishes.
After far too long, Burnie says, "I want his ass," and you just about melt into a little puddle on the bed. You think that's the best thing you've ever heard someone say. It forces a little noise out of your mouth and you look at Miles, then at Burnie.
"Kerry," Miles whispers, getting your absolute attention. "Finger yourself."
You turn away from Burnie, crawling further up on the bed and giving them both a nice view as you slide your pants down over your hips and search your nightstand for lube. It feels ridiculous that you're hard <i>already</i>, but Miles already has such an easy time getting you worked up. Adding Burnie to that makes it way worse.
Getting your fingers good and wet, you make an attempt at taking it slowly. It's a genuine, real attempt. Mostly. You still fail, and only tease yourself for a moment before pushing two fingers into yourself and finding your prostate. You hear Burnie suck in a breath and work your fingers against yourself, getting as loud as you can.
"I want..." Talking dirty feels so silly. "I want you to fuck me, Burnie." It's not like you're even talking that dirty. But if you're going to do this, you might as well do this while saying incredibly dirty things to your boss. You don't think it'll ever feel anything less than silly to talk dirty, but you can try. The sounds both Burnie and Miles make sort of diminish the silliness. Or at least make it worth it.
"Yeah?" Burnie's voice is low and almost kind of raspy. It turns you on more than you could have expected. "Tell me about how you wanna get fucked, baby."
Two hands grip your asscheeks, spreading you apart as you continue to shove your fingers into yourself. You don't look to see if it's Burnie or Miles—find yourself not caring to—and when you're able to, give Burnie an answer.
"I want you to get rough," you say into the pillow, a little too shy about it for Burnie's tastes.
"Tell me louder," he says, and you let out a quiet squeak as another set of hands joins the first one, fingertips pressing into your inner thighs. "Loud enough that Miles and I both know just what's going to happen."
Burnie is much hotter than you actually expected him to be.
"I want you to get rough," you say again, louder this time. A lot louder. The hands between your thighs give a rough squeeze and you add a third finger to your ass, getting good and loud for both the men behind you. "Rough and mean. Talk... talk dirty to me." After a moment, you add, "call me names."
"Names?" Burnie leans over you, his mouth right next to your ear. "Names like what?"
It takes some work to maneuver yourself correctly. You pull your fingers out of yourself and get into a slightly different position beneath Burnie while you've got the chance. Then, almost casually, you get his pants undone and pull his dick out, sliding him into you.
"Oh, fuck, Kerry," he gasps, pressing hard into you until his hips are pressed against yours and you feel so full you could scream. "Tell me what I'm going to call you, come on."
It takes you a long moment to adjust, especially when Burnie's moving so quickly, so roughly already. Even when you do regain the ability to speak, all you can do is whimper. "Tell me I'm a sl— slut, or a whore. Or something."
"God," Miles says, and then he's in front of you. Then, just as quickly as you regained your ability to speak, you lose it again. "You're so fucking good, K— whore."
You'd probably thank him if you weren't basically incapacitated. Miles is shoved all the way to the back of your throat and Burnie still slams his hips against yours each time he thrusts back into you.
"Such a good little slut," Burnie adds, his hands moving to hold onto your hips. He starts to move faster, get rougher with you, murmuring, "bet you like this, don't you? Barely had any time to get used to me and you're already acting like a perfect slut."
You feel your cock almost jump when Burnie grabs it, letting our a strained, choked little moan around Miles' cock. Neither Miles nor Burnie are being gentle—thank God—both pounding into you and bringing tears to your eyes.
They're relentless.
It's fantastic.
You're embarrassed when Burnie pumps you through orgasm so soon, surprised that you've managed to finish so fast, but entirely disappointed.
Finishing usually means stopping.
Apparently, not for Burnie.
"You're supposed to warn me, whore," he whispers, biting down gently on your shoulder. "I would've made you drag that out longer."
He shoves into you hard again, harder than before. You want to apologize, want to tell him you can probably get it up again for him, but Miles isn't even giving you a chance to speak.
Burnie keeps up that pace—the pace that makes you feel like he's going to bruise you—for what feels like forever. His hips hit yours with each thrust and he keeps telling you over and over, "you're so good," and you're absolutely sure you won't be able to move tomorrow.
Miles is still moving his hips, still moaning and gasping above you. He gives you butterflies in your stomach when he grabs at your hair, and your eyes slip shut when he groans, "oh, God, Kerry, I'm gonna come."
Your head follows his movements for a moment and you try to get him to come in your mouth, but he's apparently got other plans. He grabs your hair to hold you back and shoots all over your face. You whimper when his come drips into your mouth, licking your lips as best you can and letting your head relax against his thigh.
"That's a good slut," he says, giving you a whole new kind of butterflies. "Fuck, you're perfect."
Everything feels overwhelming. Burnie's still pounding into you, though his movements have gotten considerably more frantic and you think he's starting to get close.
You start to get rough—thrusting backwards and fucking yourself on Burnie's cock, not caring that you're already beginning to feel the soreness that you know will intensify and have you limping later on.
"Burnie," you whine, "come for me, please!"
You think that's what finishes him off, but you're not sure. What you are sure of is that after you say that, his thrusts speed up considerably and he groans, loud.
"Fuck, you're such a little whore," he moans, giving you only a couple more thrusts before he pulls out and covers your ass with his thick come.
God.
You never expected a threesome would be that good.
It's left you with bruised hips, swollen lips, come all over you, and two very satisfied men in your bed.
After a long pause, you manage to say, "we need to do this again."
You don't keep your eyes open long enough to see Miles or Burnie's reactions, but you don't think they'll have too much of a problem with it.
For Sergeant-Angua, since you can't write, I'll write something for you, because I love you. <3
Pairing: Burnie/Kerry
Rating: NC-17
Words: 467
Contains Daddy kink and crossdressing
Imagine Burnie having Kerry dress up in a school girl uniform because he knows 'how much Kerry likes anime.' He pulls Kerry onto his lap when he carefully walks over, wanting to make sure the heels Burnie made him wear don't make him trip, and, blushing and avoiding eye contact, sits in Burnie's lap.
Burnie smirks when he sees the blush and tilts Kerry's face up to make him look at him, before bringing him in for a chaste kiss that turns heated quickly, with Kerry whimpering out Burnie's name as his hands clench in the fabric of his shirt. Burnie, who had broken the kiss to suck a hickey onto Kerry's neck, pulled away to lean back in the throne (he had a fascination with it that no one in the company questioned, it was a given for them so they knew not to bother him when he went where it was stored and closed the door) and narrowed his eyes at Kerry and asked him quietly, almost dangerously, what Kerry had just called him. Kerry paused, realizing what he called Burnie, and began stuttering out excuses, apologizing to his daddy and begging for forgiveness for calling him by his real name.
Burnie calms him easily, dragging Kerry closer and letting Kerry bury his face into his neck, still mumbling out apologies as Burnie pets his hair soothingly. When Kerry sits back up again he asks his daddy quietly what he can do to make up for for his mistake. Burnie settles his hands on Kerry's hips and looks him over, his lips bitten red, his neck covered in hickeys and his skirt mussed from squirming in Burnie's lap, before deciding what he wants and grinding his dick up so Kerry can feel it against his ass. With a smirk he tells Kerry that to make up for his error he can suck his dick, and Kerry quickly squirms off of his lap to kneel in front of him.
Burnie lazily spreads his legs so Kerry can get closer and unbutton his jeans and carefully pull his dick out of his pants, and when he does Burnie fists a hand in Kerry's hair as he wraps a hand around him and licks the head of it before slowly sucking it into his mouth, making Burnie shift but otherwise not react. Burnie's hand lets up so it's more petting than pulling as he shifts and looks down at Kerry, his blush still in place as he sucks, making muffled whines as the skirt brushes against his dick. When he brings his hand down to touch his cock, Burnie pulls slightly and shakes his head, telling Kerry darkly that if he even /thought/ about touching himself he wouldn't get to come even while he was fucking him, and Kerry muffled a moan at the sound of Burnie, who still had Kerry's hair in a tight grip and was now using it to guide Kerry.
When Burnie got bored of the blowjob he tugged Kerry back into his lap, Kerry scrabbling and clutching at his shoulders as Burnie tilted his head to bite his neck before pulling away to grab the lube and condom he had placed on the ground next to the throne, telling Kerry as he did so that he was going to fuck him, Kerry burying a whimper into Burnie's neck at the sound of it.
Once is an accident. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is a pattern.
Okay, it's not like Burnie means to keep kissing Kerry. Not really. The first time really was an accident, honestly, and yes, it happened again, but he didn't mean for it to happen. He doesn't mean for any of it to happen.
Honestly.
Burnie's old enough to be the kid's father, for Christ's sake, and he's Burnie's employee, so obviously anything going on between them is just joking and not horrifyingly inappropriate.
Burnie sighs and rubs his forehead. God, he can't even convince himself; how the hell is he gonna convince anyone else?
Here is the thing- Kerry is very, very cute. Kerry is cute, and funny, and sweet, and single. Burnie is not lonely, and he's gonna kill Matt for all these pitiful looks, but he's single too, so really, it should be simple.
It's not simple. Why the fuck would it ever be simple?
Burnie is old, and Kerry's boss, and he's pretty sure Kerry's never expressed any interest in men. (Not to say that there's no interest at all, the stupidly hopeful part of Burnie's brain insists, because as far as his friends know, he's never expressed any interest in men either.) The point is, it's not a relationship that will ever work out, and maybe Burnie shouldn't express hidden feelings through joking kisses, but hey, maybe go fuck yourself.
He sighs again and drops his head to his desk. What the hell is he gonna do with himself?
***
Burnie pops into the RWBY team's work area, only to find Kerry alone. "Oh," he says. "Where's Monty?"
"Miles is making him eat," Kerry says. "He should be back soon."
"Oh. All right, great." Burnie ought to leave then and there, but he stays, standing to the side awkwardly while Kerry works. He takes a breath and crosses to Kerry's desk. "What're you working on?"
Kerry glances up at him and shrugs. "Just writing- Miles was having a hard time getting this scene down, so I told him to let me take a crack at it."
"Cool. Great. Uh, keep up the good work."
"Aye-aye, cap'n," Kerry says, grinning.
Burnie slowly turns to leave, but he hears Kerry's chair creak. He turns back to see Kerry standing awkwardly. "One more thing, I think," Kerry says.
"Yeah? What is it?"
"I just- um." Kerry takes the few steps that separate them. "I was just gonna, y'know- I wanted-" He apparently gives up on forming sentences, and instead kisses Burnie, close-lipped but firm.
Burnie's too damn shocked (what the fuck is this really happening oh my god is my heart still beating why does my internal monologue sound like a twelve-year-old girl) to kiss back or respond properly, and Kerry seems to take that as a bad sign. "Oh- oh, geez." Kerry breaks out a plastic, panicked grin. "G-got you! I wanted to- to get you back, um, for all those times you kissed me- ha, I guess it's funnier when people are watching, huh-"
Burnie grabs Kerry's shoulders and returns the kiss, hard and real, a proper kiss. Kerry moans involuntarily, his hands grasping for Burnie's shirt. "Thank fucking god," Burnie breathes against Kerry's mouth.
He pushes Kerry against the desk and lifts him up, seats him there so they're more evenly matched in height. Kerry makes a pleased hum and hooks his fingers in Burnie's belt loops. Burnie presses one leg between Kerry's and is astounded to find him hard already.
"Burnie, please," Kerry groans. He writhes in place, insistently pushing his boner against Burnie's thigh. Burnie growls- god help him, he growls -and starts to fumble with Kerry's zipper.
Kerry swats him on the back and hisses, "Hang on," and Burnie jumps back just in time for Miles and Monty to walk in.
"Hey, Burnie!" Miles chirps. Monty nods in greeting. If either of them notices Burnie and Kerry's raw, red mouths, they don't make it obvious.
"Hey, guys," Burnie says, his voice tight. "I, uh, I was just checking on how things are going, but I..." He glances at Kerry, with his pink cheeks and the hard-on he's desperately trying to hide. If he stays, he's not gonna be able to keep his hands off him. "I have to head back- got stuff to work on."
"Didn't you wanna talk to Monty?" Kerry asks. Please stay.
"Oh- that can wait, I really, really gotta get back to work." Later, I promise.
"All right, see ya, Burnie!" Miles waves as Burnie walks off.
“Burnie, I really don’t see why you want me to do this.” Kerry said shakily, coming out of the bathroom wearing the school uniform, complete with a tiny plaid skirt and stockings. Burnie, who was lounging on the couch, said nothing and motioned him closer, sitting up when Kerry got close enough to drag him onto his lap.
He pulled Kerry in for a filthy kiss, his hands roaming up Kerry’s legs (which had been shaved at his order), smoothing the stocking and trailing up to toy at the hem of the skirt. It was Kerry who broke the kiss, resting his head on Burnie’s shoulder to suck in deep breaths, trying not to grind down on Burnie’s lap. Burnie hummed thoughtfully, “Do you not like it, I had it specially made for you, and you look so good like this, maybe I should make it your work uniform- would you like that, everyone knowing that you belong to me, that I’m the one who gets to see you all fucked out, hoarse from screaming my name, and they don’t?” Kerry just whined giving in and grinding down on to Burnie’s dick, mouthing messily at his shoulder.
I don't know if anyone has mentioned it but on yesterday's Internet Box podcast Kerry and Michael talked about the party over the weekend. Kerry mentioned that Burnie kissed him on the cheek randomly and that he kept having to ask other people that had seen it (ie his girlfriend) to make sure he didn't just make it up.
Kerry also mentioned that when Burnie kissed him during the livestream that Burnie meant to put his hand over Kerry's mouth so there wouldn't actually be contact but Burnie's hand didn't fully cover his mouth so he did actually kiss Kerry on the mouth.
