The sunroom ☀️🪴🌸
warning: do not turn steve word count: 2,601
Film sessions at Joe's house weren't exactly uncommon.
What had started years ago as "come over for an hour and watch tape" had slowly evolved into an unspoken tradition.
Watch film.
Argue about film.
Order way too much food.
Argue about where to order food from.
Then somehow end up sitting around for another three hours talking about anything except football.
Joe didn't mind.
He actually preferred it.
Besides, you were working a twelve-hour ICU shift, and he knew you'd much rather come home to a house for of love and loudness then quiet.
By the time the coaches finished sending over the last clips they wanted the guys to review, pizza boxes covered the kitchen island, sports drinks littered the coffee table, and somebody—Joe still wasn't sure who—had left sunflower seed shells in a bowl that definitely wasn't meant for sunflower seed shells. He would have to fix that before you got home and saw it.
"Pause it."
Ted pointed at the television from his spot on the couch.
"You see Orlando right there?"
Orlando leaned back in the recliner ready to go to war defending himself.
"I already know where this is going."
"You missed him." Ted pointed at him 1000% accusatory.
"I absolutely did not!" Orlando jumped onto his feet, hands in the air appalled.
"You watched him run right past you."
"I was trusting my quarterback." He said pointing at Joe, who was actually amused for once.
Joe rubbed a hand over his face, "Bro, I was on the turf sacked within 5 seconds. What was there to trust then?"
"This is why we don't let linemen narrate film."
Laughter bounced around the living room.
The conversation drifted away from football almost immediately, as it always did.
Somebody went looking for another slice of pizza.
Someone else disappeared to find a bathroom.
And the rookie, after politely, timidly, definitely afraid he was gonna be told to go dig a hole, asking where it was, wandered down the hallway Joe pointed him toward while Ja'marr literally had his mouth open to say go dig a hole.
Bathroom's the second door on the left.
Don't worry about anything else.
Which, in hindsight...
Turned out to be terrible instructions.
For the first few minutes, nobody noticed he was gone.
The film was still paused on the television while Orlando continued defending himself against accusations that he had, in fact, completely missed his assignment.
"I still think the camera angle is misleading."
"It is literally game film," Ted deadpanned.
"Cameras lie."
"They do not."
"They absolutely do."
Joe had long since stopped listening.
He leaned over the coffee table, reaching for another slice of pizza while absently straightening one of the throw blankets that had somehow ended up half on the floor.
Not because it bothered him.
Because he knew it would bother you.
The rookie, meanwhile, had successfully found the bathroom.
Mission accomplished.
On the walk back down the hallway, though, something caught his eye.
At the very end of the hall was a pair of French doors.
The curtains had been pulled open, allowing the late afternoon sun to pour into the room beyond.
Curiosity got the better of him.
He wasn't snooping.
Not really.
He just...
...looked.
The moment he stepped through the doorway, he stopped.
"...holy..."
It wasn't a sunroom.
It was a rainforest.
Plants covered every available inch of the room.
Towering fiddle leaf figs reached toward the ceiling.
Monsteras climbed thick moss poles nearly as tall as he was.
Trailing pothos spilled from hanging baskets suspended in front of the windows.
Shelves lined every wall, each one packed with more greenery than he'd ever seen in one place that wasn't a botanical garden.
Tiny succulents sat beside enormous bird of paradise plants.
Orchids.
Snake plants.
Peace lilies.
Rubber trees.
Plants he recognized.
Plants he definitely didn't.
It looked less like a room in Joe Burrow's house...
...and more like Mother Nature had signed a lease.
Then he noticed something hanging beside the door.
A whiteboard.
Covered in colorful handwriting.
🌿 Today's Plant Checklist 🌿
☑ Rotate Kevin
☑ Move Daisy after 3 p.m.
☐ Water Patricia tomorrow
☐ Fertilize Fern on Friday
DO NOT TURN STEVE.
The rookie frowned.
"...Steve?"
His eyes drifted back toward the jungle.
There was absolutely a plant in the corner wearing a tiny wooden sign around its pot that read:
Hello, my name is Steve.
"..."
"...there's no way."
Still holding the slice of pizza he'd grabbed on the way to the bathroom, he wandered a little farther into the room.
Every single pot had a name.
Daisy.
Kevin.
Fern.
Gerald.
Patricia.
Olive.
Susan.
One cactus simply read:
Craig.
"...Craig?"
He whispered it out loud before realizing he was speaking to a cactus.
A tiny Bluetooth speaker rested on one of the shelves.
Soft instrumental music floated through the room.
"..."
"...are they listening to music?"
He backed out of the room slowly.
Very slowly.
Like he'd accidentally walked into a secret he wasn't supposed to know.
When he finally wandered back into the living room, the argument had somehow evolved into whether quarterbacks should be allowed to critique offensive line play.
Nobody even looked up when he walked in.
He stood there for a second.
Pizza still in one hand.
Completely bewildered.
"...question."
Sam looked over first.
"Shoot."
The rookie pointed his thumb toward the hallway.
"...Joe did you know you have a jungle in your house? with people?"
The room went quiet.
Sam frowned.
"What people?"
"The ones back there."
He motioned toward the hallway again.
"The sunroom."
"..."
"..."
Without even looking up from his pizza, Sam answered.
"Daisy?"
Tee shook his head immediately.
"No, second shelf."
Ted leaned back on the couch.
"Left side."
Orlando reached into the pizza box.
"Yellow pot."
Joe looked up from his plate, completely confused.
"What are y'all talking about?"
"The plants."
"Oh."
Joe nodded once and went right back to eating.
"Yeah."
The rookie blinked.
"...yeah?"
Joe looked back up.
"What?"
"The... plants."
"What about them?"
"You know which one's Daisy?"
Joe looked genuinely puzzled now.
"Yeah."
"As does everybody else apparently."
Joe glanced around the room.
Every veteran nodded.
Like this was the most normal conversation in the world.
The rookie looked like he was having an out-of-body experience.
"...why do all of you know the plants?"
Silence.
Not because nobody had an answer.
Because nobody had ever thought about it before.
The silence lingered just long enough for everyone to look around the room.
Not at the rookie.
At each other.
Like they were all mentally retracing years' worth of conversations.
Sam was the first one to break it.
"Huh."
He leaned back into the couch cushions, one arm slung over the back as he looked at Joe.
"...I never actually questioned why I knew who Daisy was."
Joe frowned.
"Why would you?"
That answer somehow made it worse.
Tee slowly lowered his slice of pizza.
"Hold on."
He pointed at Joe.
"I know Kevin."
Joe shrugged.
"Yeah."
"I know Kevin."
"You've met Kevin."
"I've met..." Tee blinked.
"...the plant."
"Well yeah."
Joe looked at him like he was the weird one.
"You helped me repot him."
The room erupted.
"I WHAT?" Tee shouted, nearly dropping his pizza.
Joe laughed once.
"You were there."
"No, I was helping my quarterback."
"You were helping me repot Kevin."
"I thought we were just putting dirt in a pot!"
"That's...that's literally repotting."
Across the room Orlando slowly sat up.
"Oh my God."
Everyone turned toward him.
His eyes had gone wide.
"I carried Gerald."
Joe nodded matter-of-factly.
"Yeah."
"..."
"..."
"...why did I carry Gerald?"
Joe looked genuinely confused by the question.
"'Cause Bee was at work."
"That doesn't answer anything."
"He was too heavy."
"So naturally..." Orlando gestured toward himself. "You called me."
"You were closest."
Ted pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I have pictures."
The room fell silent.
"You have what?" Ja'Marr asked.
Ted reached into his pocket, already unlocking his phone.
"I have pictures."
"No you don't."
"I absolutely do."
He scrolled for a second before turning the screen around.
There, in all its glory, was Orlando Brown carrying an enormous potted fiddle leaf fig through the backyard with the concentration of a man transporting priceless artwork.
Joe walked beside him, one hand steadying the leaves.
Both of them looked deadly serious.
At the bottom of the photo...
My girl 💛:
Thank you boys!! Please tell Gerald he looks handsome in the sunshine 🥹🌿
The room exploded.
Orlando grabbed the phone.
"I REMEMBER THIS."
Joe reached for another slice of pizza.
"Yeah."
"YOU TEXTED HER A PICTURE OF ME."
"She asked how Gerald was doing."
"No." Orlando pointed at the phone. "She thanked me."
"She appreciates people."
The rookie looked physically overwhelmed.
"I'm sorry..."
He looked around the room.
"...am I the only person that thinks this is insane?"
Every veteran opened their mouth.
Then stopped.
Because...
Actually...
Maybe it was a little insane.
Ja'Marr suddenly snapped his fingers.
"Dude."
Everyone looked at him.
"I've watered Daisy."
Joe nodded.
"Twice."
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING."
"I wasn't."
"I thought Daisy was a dog!"
Joe blinked.
"Why would I keep a dog in the sunroom?"
Nobody had an answer for that.
Sam was laughing too hard to breathe.
Joe, meanwhile, looked around the room at twenty grown men having existential crises over a collection of houseplants.
"...what?"
He genuinely didn't understand.
"They're plants."
He gestured toward the hallway.
"People name plants."
The room stared back.
Joe shrugged.
"And Bee worries about them when she's working."
"..."
"So I send her updates."
"..."
"What?"
He looked completely sincere.
Like he couldn't figure out why everyone had suddenly decided this was strange.
Ja'Marr slowly stood up.
Walked over to Joe.
Put both hands on his shoulders.
Looked him dead in the eye.
"...bro."
Joe frowned.
"What?"
"You've accidentally made the entire Bengals offense co-parent a greenhouse."
Joe blinked.
Once.
Then looked around the room.
Every single veteran nodded.
Slowly.
Realizing...
He kind of had.
Before anyone could answer—
The familiar chime of the front door echoed through the house.
Joe's head turned immediately.
His watch read 7:45 p.m.
Right on time.
A chorus of voices called out before you even made it down the hallway.
"Bee's home!"
"Hey, Y/N!"
"You survived!"
You rounded the corner a second later, still wearing your navy blue ICU scrubs, your hair pulled into the same messy braid you'd left the house in twelve hours earlier. A stethoscope was looped around your neck, the strap of your work bag was falling off your shoulder, while your other hand balanced a paper bag from the deli down the street.
The second you walked into the living room, your nose wrinkled.
"...Good Lord."
You looked around at the mountain of pizza boxes covering the island.
"Y'all ordered enough pizza to feed Cincinnati."
Ja'Marr grinned.
"Twenty."
You stared at him.
"...Twenty?"
"We got hungry."
"You got... twenty pizzas hungry?"
"I don't make the rules."
You laughed, setting your bag down on the kitchen counter before pulling out a giant Diet Coke that looked comically oversized next to your hand.
Joe was already standing.
He crossed the room without thinking, taking your work bag from your shoulder before you even had to ask.
"You eat?"
You held up your bag.
"I saw twenty pizzas on the Ring camera."
A few of the guys immediately looked at each other.
"You watched us?"
"I got the notification."
You smiled.
"After the day I had, the smell of all that grease would've made me throw up."
You reached into the bag and pulled out a chicken Caesar wrap.
"So..."
You lifted the wrap triumphantly.
"...I got a salad wrap."
"And a Diet Coke the size of your head," Sam observed.
"It was fifty cents more."
"Financially responsible."
"Exactly."
Joe smiled to himself as he unpacked the rest of your dinner onto a plate without you asking.
The rookie watched the exchange in silence.
Then looked back toward the hallway.
Then at Joe.
Then at you.
"...Can I ask you a question?"
You looked over.
"Sure."
He pointed toward the sunroom.
"...Who's Daisy?"
Joe's eyes immediately closed.
"Oh, no."
Too late.
Joe's eyes immediately closed.
"Oh, no."
The two words came out in a sigh.
Not because he didn't want you answering.
Because he knew exactly how you were about to answer.
The rookie looked between the two of you, completely oblivious to why every veteran in the room had suddenly started grinning again.
You frowned slightly.
"Daisy?"
You looked toward the hallway like the answer was obvious.
"Our monstera."
The rookie blinked.
"...your what?"
"Our monstera."
You smiled politely, thinking maybe he'd just forgotten.
"Second shelf. Yellow pot."
The room erupted.
Sam immediately pointed across the room.
"I TOLD YOU."
"I SAID YELLOW POT."
Ted slapped the arm of the couch.
"I said left side!"
Orlando looked ridiculously proud of himself.
"I knew it."
Joe pinched the bridge of his nose.
You looked around the room in complete confusion.
"...what?"
Ja'Marr stood up.
"No, no, no."
He pointed dramatically toward the sunroom.
"We need you to understand something."
"...okay?"
He pointed around the living room.
"We all know your plants."
You blinked.
"...yeah?"
The room exploded again.
Joe actually groaned.
"No, Bee."
"What?"
"That isn't helping."
You looked at him.
"What isn't?"
"The fact that you think that's normal."
You frowned.
"...it is normal."
The rookie looked like he was about to pass out.
"It is?"
"Sure."
You shrugged.
"They've all been over enough."
Then you started pointing around the room.
"Sam watered Susan when we were in Florida."
Sam nodded proudly.
"I did."
"Tee helped Joe repot Kevin."
"I APPARENTLY DID."
"Ted reminds Joe when Patricia's fertilizer gets delivered."
Ted looked down at the floor.
"...I have the tractor supply notifications."
The room dissolved into absolute chaos.
You hadn't even finished.
"Orlando's the only one Gerald likes."
Orlando puffed his chest out.
"I knew it."
Joe looked at him.
"You absolutely did not."
"I had a feeling."
"You literally told Gerald he was 'just a leafy dude.'"
"I was building trust."
Ja'Marr was bent over laughing now.
"This is insane."
You looked around the room again.
Still confused.
"...why is this insane?"
Joe finally looked at you.
"You have somehow convinced twenty grown men to emotionally invest in a greenhouse."
You looked toward the hallway.
Then back at him.
"...they like the plants."
"No."
Joe pointed around the room.
"They've developed relationships."
Almost as if on cue—
Your phone buzzed in your scrub pocket.
You pulled it out.
"Oh!"
You smiled.
"Daisy's reminder."
The rookie watched as you casually opened your plant app.
"What reminder?"
"She gets rotated every Monday and Thursday."
You looked at Joe.
"Did you move her after three?"
Joe answered immediately.
"Six inches."
"Perfect."
"And Kevin got rotated."
"Good."
"Steve's still facing east."
"Thank you."
"And Gerald got an hour outside."
You beamed.
"You're the best."
Joe smiled without thinking.
"No problem."
The room...
Went...
Silent.
You looked up from your phone.
"...what?"
Ja'Marr slowly looked around the room.
Then back at Joe.
"...bro."
Joe frowned.
"What?"
"You answered all of those way too fast."
Joe looked genuinely confused.
"I live here."