#butch jj

[ajsbau]

Boyfriend jj... 🤤

@pagetsfishpurse you're responsible for this..

[ro-presents-under-the-nola-stars]

Jennifer "JJ" Jareau and being a "Player"

AU Background

College Era

AFTER THE FLING WITH PEYTON, JJ HAD BEEN BRANDED A LESBIAN. No one had even asked her, if it was an accurate statement, if she was or wasn't. Amongst people who knew about her and Peyton, it was just assumed that she was. It should have bothered her, having that label immediately attached to her name because of who she had slept with w no regard for her, but having the world lesbian attached to her felt like finally escaping someone who was actively drowning you. To say she could breath, for the very first time in life, was an understatement. Even if all those breaths for the first few months were just recovery and couldn't be retained to provide long-term relief. After having her head forcibly held under the water for so long, it all felt good.

She had expected the branding to come with ridicule and forced isolation. After all, despite the popularity Peyton had, no one was really nice to her or accepting of her except the girls who were proud enough to be openly seen with her and her basketball teammates. But it wasn't what she thought. Sure, some of the people who had heard rumors were assholes about her being a lesbian, guys who were pissed she wasn't interested in them thus insisting that they could be the magic that would change her or girls who were grossed out by the fact she might b into them while also being offended when she wasn't. But overall, things were pretty much fine. She was a rather open lesbian and her world hadn't fallen apart. It was a relief, but it at the same time, it wasn't. She had it reaffirmed for her in a completely different way that Peyton wasn't just ostracized because she was a lesbian but because of how masculine she was on top of being a lesbian. It was the marriage of those two traits because JJ knew that straight tomboys didn't get treated like that. The same thing that drew JJ to her, the same way JJ quietly wished she could be was what made Peyton's life so hard. It was what made JJ's childhood so hard, and she had hoped being branded a lesbian would give her room to escape it, but she was wrong. And she didn't even know just how wrong she was yet.

The upside to her being branded a lesbian was, well, sex. Especially with her being an athlete and all. She was one of the few (one of, like, five girls maybe) who were out. And she was the top 3 one of the best soccer players at school, male or female. JJ had it good, and it was a whole new world. She couldn't get enough of it, this newfound popularity with girls. She didn't really drink, she never touched drugs but once she started having sex (with women who weren't Peyton) she didn't really feel like she needed either of those things.

See, here's the thing. In high school, JJ did her v best to avoid sex and dating; the idea of being with a boy made her want to wither and die and there was no way she could be with a girl. JJ put all her energy into school and soccer, got a job, told everyone she found boys distracting. JJ refused to date, and she was rather successful at it. Almost completely except one year. During her junior year, a football player (shocker), who asked her out during halftime at their homecoming game in from of almost their whole town, including her parents. She couldn't reject him; it didn't matter how much she wanted to. He was a senior. He was the senior. He made a whole show around it and when it was all said and done, everyone -- not even just the girls in her school -- was talking about how lucky she was. It was a dreadful experience. It hardly counted as a relationship, though. Not just because of her lack of desire but bcus of the effort she went thru to avoid him entirely. She took on more students to tutor and opened her time slot to lunch so she didn't have to see him in the cafeteria. She got more hours at the diner she worked at in town so that she was too busy to see him after school and after practice in season. She got more involved with her church, of all things, so that even her Sundays were busier than normal. Of course, he "liked" her enough to get creative. He started camping out at the diner she worked, he started going to church with her (and boy, did her mother love that), he sat in on her soccer practices, he insisted on sitting next to her in the library while she tutored people so despite her best efforts, more often than not, she still ended up with his hand on her inner thigh. He kissed her often despite fact she didn't kiss back and never allowed him to go as far as to stick his tongue in her mouth. Every time his lips touched hers, she clenched her jaw and froze, hoped she would die right there and waited for him to pull away. She'd jerk back when he tried to force her mouth open bcus he wasn't the worst guy but he wasn't so nice that he didn't continuously try that, despite what she wanted. That's the farthest she had even gotten with a guy, and she broke up with him at his graduation. She couldn't wait. The break up felt like taking a noose off her neck.

She was always curious about sex, though. Her desire for it was never necessarily weak, she could just never force herself to think about guys so she always felt dirty for thinking about it as much as she thought about it which was a smooth 80% of the time, if she was being honest. Sometimes, she would feel so feral she felt like she could chew a brick — forcing those feelings down were an utter nightmare. She even had to stop having sleepovers with her co-captain bcus she was too touchy, too intimate. They didn't just cuddle when they slept, no, her co-captain would put JJ's hands in-between her thighs while they slept for "warmth". JJ could never sleep, would never unclench her fist bcus she wanted to touch her so bad, and it was terrifying. Then, there was those soccer matches at that one high school across town where the captain had thick thighs, long braids, a deep and rich complexion, a busty chest and the deepest dimples one had ever seen would have such a powerful affect on her. It was worse, it was worse than the sleepovers, but contact was allowed in soccer, expected at times. JJ can't tell you how many times she collided into that girl on purpose jus so she would end up on top of her or under her. She felt so dirty about it, but she could never stop herself from doing it. It was her favorite school to play, all four years she was in school. In those four years, she had played that school, played against that girl somewhere between maybe 8 to 12 times but it felt like much more. She loved playing her, but it made her hate herself more than she already did. After the games, she couldn't stop feeling her body against hers, not even hours after the fact. When she got home at night, she'd have such detailed dreams that she would wake up sweaty, messy, achy and ruined with her heart racing like everyone could see her dreams on a jumbotron flat screen and then she would cry in the shower and scrub herself clean until the water felt like ice bcus no one could ever know she thought of girls like that.

So, having sex the way she had always imagined in her dreams? Felt like breaking a nasty, prison-like spell. It felt coming to life for the first time. It felt like pure freedom. It felt ... religious; it comforting. JJ couldn't get enough. She was only slightly ashamed to say that she was a bit easy. Hot girl, pretty face with charisma approached her the right way with sweet smiles, soft touches and complimenting her athletic prowess or the way her muscles looked when she played or worked out? Well, it was easy to guess where that was going. Often times she wondered if Peyton felt how she felt and that's why she got around so much. If so, she certainly couldn't blame her. Her own reputation built steadily and between the queer and the curious, JJ was swimming in women. It made her feel as much like a God as it made her finally feel like a complete person. But like religion, as comforting as it could be, it left you wanting more, wanting something more. If sex was her Bible, was her church, JJ found herself always searching for her God. Underneath her lustful patterns, she wanted someone that would let her be more than just a fun time, someone who would let her b who she wanted to b and genuinely like her anyway. She played up her inner-Peyton when she flirted, when she fucked but her fear of ostracization kept her from expressing herself in that way anywhere else. It held her back, so much. On her best day, she felt small; every other day, she felt invisible. So much so that it got to the point that if she wasn't flirting or fucking, she didn't feel real, didn't feel like anyone could see her or hear her. So, she kept chasing the feeling of life, kept chasing her God in between some woman's thighs.

She balanced it well, though. Her athletic responsibilities, her academics, her job. Her social life. Maybe it was because she was young and in college, maybe it was bcus on the surface she was still fairly normal, but no one really looked at her too hard about the sex she was having. She was safe, trips to the clinic were routine. She had enough platonic friends, enough platonic female friends that it didn't look like sex was the only thing she cared about. So, when she was constantly leaving social functions with someone on her arm, it was jus JJ, the player... playing the game of women and winning. Her female friends playfully shook their head, her male friends championed her and claimed envy. No one could see what she felt was an empty hole in her. She was jus JJ, the player, the ladykiller and she was fine with that. She felt like she had to be.

By the time she met her first girlfriend, her player reputation was starting to exceed Peyton's.

[neve-gallus-girl-detective]

I think my fav combo is High Femme Emily X Soft Butch JJ

JJ with blood red lipstick stains on her white button downs. Emily wearing JJ's blazer over her shoulders.

The thunk of JJ's dress shoes in sync with the click of Emily's stilettos

JJ curling Emily's hair for her, then Emily runs gel-covered fingers through JJ's hair

JJ holding a compact for Emily to fix her make-up and Emily carrying a switchblade comb in her purse for JJ to fix her hair

[donnydamakkk]

i really wish there were more butch jj truthers in the world

[transsergio]

i’m THINKING about butch!JJ like??

a JJ who got out of her small town and into college on sports scholarships, terrified to present masc and face the backlash/small town homophobia and potentially make her teammates uncomfortable? a jj who was probably already known as the weird girl with the dead sister, doing whatever she can to fit in and be normal and go w the status quo. a jj who was “nice to everyone, even nerds”, surviving by internalizing clique groupings and social hierarchy.

a jj who gets to her freshman year of college where none of that matters and having a crisis she didn’t see coming. she doesn’t know who she really is outside of the popular soccer girl, or who she even wants to be. a jj who doesn’t know how to make friends when she hasn’t already known everyone’s names and families her entire life. a jj whose good at the superficial things, like going to frat parties and being friendly w the other girls on the soccer team. probably more than a little judgmental of the girls who do have short hair, who don’t really care about shaving or being fem. a jj who’s fixated on one of the more masc, older girls in particular and can’t figure out why. a jj who’s scared to talk to her, a jj who looks at herself in the mirror after a shower in her dorm and doesn’t know what to do with herself, a jj who doesn’t know if she likes this girl, if she’s disgusted, if she wants to cut all her hair off and see exactly what it feels like. a jj who’s overanalyzing herself until she’s paralyzed. a jj who can’t see a way out, except...making an appointment.

the salon won’t give her anything more than a pixie cut. she’s so pretty, why would she want to ruin it? whatever. she’ll take it for now. she thinks she looks like a middle aged mom. the girls on the soccer team love it. jj doesn’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing, but she likes the attention. she likes not having to wear a ponytail or really fuss with it. a jj who feels more in control, like she can be her own person. a jj who starts kissing girls in private and tries not to think about what it means. a jj who keeps getting her hair trimmed but tries different stylists until she finds one who’s not afraid to go SHORT short. a jj who has a hard time reconciling her love of being soft, of caring, with her new masc exploration. a jj who realizes being masc doesn’t mean being hard. a jj who realizes being masc isn’t about fitting into a new box, or a box at all. a jj who’s dressing in cuffed cotton t shirts and boyfriend cut jeans until she realizes she can just buy from the men’s section too. a jj who doesn’t come home that first summer and instead takes on a paid internship at a local press pub and rents a room off campus. a jj who’s not ready to come home and merge her new world with her old. a jj who starts kissing one girl in particular more than the others.

a jj who doesn’t know what it means that the girl she’s kissing wears skirts and hair clips and makeup (jj has downgraded to concealer and chapstick to be “presentable” for her job by now.). the last time she thought she was interested in a girl, she cut all her hair off. what now, will she grow it out? no. a jj who’s more comfortable with herself, who doesn’t need to blend in to be okay. a jj who feels strong with this girl, who feels like loving this girl makes her stronger. a jj who’s realizing she’s a protector, and she wants to find more people like her. a jj who starts attending feminist book clubs and seeking out a community at the bar scene. a jj who brings her girlfriend home at the end of the summer.

a jj who’s single her senior year, who’s no longer wearing makeup for any occasion, who never had a loud coming out but simply showed up in her hometown a couple of times a year and felt the eyes on her, who walked with her head up and never gave the eyes the satisfaction of looking back. a jj who’s taken with rossi’s talk when he visits her class and knows how she wants to help people. a jj who joins the bau as their media liaison in tailored suits with a men’s wristwatch fastened tightly to her, a graduation present from her parents. a jj who finds friendship with femme lesbian penelope garcia, who she spends time coordinating at work with and time comfortably lounging with off-duty. a jj who seeks out elle. a jj who is surprised when elle kisses her first. a jj who thinks about building a life with her, of having elle in her home on lazy saturdays when she’s in her sweats and her old college t shirts, of elle in her kitchen and their guards down. a jj who’s the first to notice that derek is definitely hitting on spencer, right there in the open. a jj who, up to now, has kept her relationships quiet - no one asked, and she never told. a jj who now gets a bitter taste in her mouth. did no one ask, or did she not want to tell?

a jj who asks elle if she’s happy. if she wants to love in silence. a jj who gets her answer, tells hotch, and marches down those stairs to kiss elle in the bullpen. derek whoops. about damn time. a jj who’s going to ask elle to move in with her when elle is just gone. when elle vanishes from her life. a jj who doesn’t know what to do with the sympathetic looks from her colleagues, or with the vacuum that elle’s empty desk creates. but, jj will figure it out. she’s not a lost eighteen year old fresh out of the salon doors anymore. she knows herself, and she knows she will be happy again.

[ajsbau]

Guys, how do we feel about butch jj with chest tape and a packer 🤭

[ro-presents-under-the-nola-stars]

While in New Orleans, having just wrapped up a case and unwinding with her team, Jennifer “JJ” Jareau sets sights on a young woman that she finds herself completely enthralled by. Seeking her out whilst hoping for a hook up, JJ gets lucky, but soon realizes that the connection between them is so much stronger than that of a one night stand.

This is the love story of Jennifer Jareau and Jasira Boudreaux.

OR

The universe where Jennifer Jareau is a (butch) lesbian and met her wife during the Jones case instead of Will.

ongoing fic. chapters completed so far:

(after jones) while out in the city, i was enchanted

(after jones) the morning after leads to hard goodbyes

(long distance) stir crazy is a state of being

(long distance) the sweetness of your voice sends me

(long distance) the things that leave scars, make us who we are

(long distance) walking on sunshine

(long distance) terms of endearment

(long distance) instability and grime

(long distance) affirmations

(long distance) different pages

(down in new orleans) five seconds to fall in love read

(down in new orleans) in the spirit of pleasure and learning

(down in new orleans) the calm of the day

(down in new orleans) the chaos of the night

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[ro-presents-under-the-nola-stars]

Jennifer "JJ" Jareau and Barbies

Butch Lesbian HCs/AU Background

Pre-Little Bama Girl

SANDY BOUGHT JJ BARBIES TO ENCOURAGE FEMININITY AND JJ DIDN'T EVEN PLAY WITH THOSE RIGHT. Oh, Sandy bought her everrything. Barbies. Kens. Various playsets. Cars. Dreamhouses. JJ had it all.

It had been Sandy's line of thinking that if she gave JJ the tools to build a world that only supported men and women being men and women that JJ would understand things better. It had been Sandy's line of thinking that if JJ was constantly marrying men and women, making them kiss, making them build families together then she would get it. She would understand that she was, indeed, a little girl and that as a little girl, it was her responsibility to grow up and find a husband.

JJ had no issue playing dolls, and it helped her understand of the way the world worked just fine. Everything was Mommy and Daddy. Husband and Wife. The husband worked a job. The wife did not; but she cooked and cleaned in the dreamhouses and made nice with the other wives. When she played the wedding game with her Barbies and Kens, there was always a bride and groom. When Sandy passed through the halls and caught little JJ playing dolls, it was one of the few times as a mother that she could breathe.

Of course, there were things she missed because she couldn't be there all the time.

She completely missed the tape-made bras JJ put on her Kens. She completely missed how at the wives brunches, her Barbie dolls would always say she, and it didn't matter at all that they were talking about their husbands when they said it. She didn't notice that JJ always made sure her Ken dolls peed sitting down so that they wouldn't make a mess like she did when she tried to mimic her dad. She even kind of missed the way all the Ken dolls were labeled JJ.

Kind of because she had seen that on one of the Kens, written on his forearm. She simply hadn't thought two ways about JJ initialing her dolls to prevent them being stolen. It just made sense, and as identity confused as her daughter seemed to always be, in her heart of hearts, Sandy knew the child wasn't stupid; she just needed a firm hand.

It wasn't until one day, that JJ took her Barbies to the ocean (which just mean she to let them swim in the bathtub that Sandy realized the error of her assumption. JENNIFER was scribbled at the bottoms of all the Kens' feet and on the Barbies' backs. Every Barbie had a different name on her forearm: Lola, Amy, Sherry, Sara, and so on and so forth, but all the Kens were JJ.

All the time Sandy had let this slide because she thought they were labels when really, JJ was coveting the Kens as herself.