Lesbian Jennifer Jareau who always felt different. Lesbian Jennifer Jareau who would go to Roslyn’s grave to vent because she knew her dead sister was the only one who’s understand. Lesbian JJ who went to prom with a guy and even made out with him, but felt gross for the next week. Lesbian JJ who would stare at the floor in the showers and locker room’s while she was in the soccer team. Lesbian JJ who was seen as driven and focused on her studies instead of dating, but it was only because she was too scared of the truth. Lesbian JJ who went to a lesbian/gay bar for the first time somewhere in college, made out with a girl and realised that not all make out sessions are gross and it’s just the men. Lesbian JJ who suppressed that experience and focused back on her studies as she figured out she wanted to join the BAU. Lesbian JJ who fell for Elle but knew it wasn’t reciprocated. Lesbian JJ who fell for Emily and didn’t know what to do with those feelings. Lesbian JJ who brought Garcia to her date with Reid because she wanted to see the game but was afraid he’d kiss her. Lesbian JJ who only kissed Will because Emily said he was cute and told her to do it. Lesbian JJ who truly did love Will, but never the way she loved a woman. Lesbian JJ.
i actually ship jj with everybody because you're telling me she walked around the bau every day looking like that and none of her coworkers were in love with her? i call bullshit
♡︎ reader notices spencer around college and becomes infatuated.
2nd person, reader's pov.
warnings/content: like one use of y/n, pining and yearning, self-deprecating thoughts/talk, allusions to a past abusive relationship
wc: ~ 3.8k
author's note: welcome to my series Yaaayyyy!!!! butch lesbian spencer reid is real to me okay. also!! i apologise for any inaccuracies about the college setting there may be, i am not american and don't know a whole lot about how the education systems work over there!
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You had first seen him in the library. Your eyes had been drawn to the subtle butch pin on his bag like iron to a magnet. Until your gaze found his face, and then you couldn't look away.
The way his wavy hair fell across his face as he studied a textbook with the cutest look of concentration on his face had your heart melting. Now, you weren't a femme who would go after someone the minute you found out they identify as a butch — you've had many wonderful friendships with butches throughout your life — but you couldn't deny how gorgeous he was.
The friend you were with when you'd first noticed him, Tara, had been talking for thirty seconds before she realised your attention was elsewhere. A knowing smile twitching onto her lips, she nudged you. "You there?" she had teased.
You blinked, turning your focus back to her — a somewhat difficult task — and shrugged. "Sorry. I zoned out."
"I noticed."
A roll of your eyes made her chuckle, and she continued, "You're staring at that person over there."
Knowing there was no use denying it, especially not to Tara, you huffed a sigh. "So what?"
"He's exactly your type. You should go talk to him."
"Okay, um, one," you had scoffed, shaking your head, "I don't have a type. And two, I don't even know them..."
"I'm choosing to ignore your first comment to inform you that I know him. His name's Spencer," Tara replied.
Once you had a name to go with his pretty face, you began seeing him everywhere. You were always too nervous to actually talk to him — the rare "hi" in passing was the furthest you got — so you decided to admire him from afar.
He's in one of your classes, and you're still unsure how you'd never spotted him before that day in the library. Maybe he joined late, or just sat out of your view. Either way, once you realised you share a class together, you started noticing more about him. You would sit in the back row of a lecture, your eyes flitting over to him whenever he wasn't looking. He was always taking notes, and as he did, his hair would fall into his eyes. You wondered how it would feel to gently push it back behind his ear. You'd see the way his free hand would fidget with the corner of his page as he wrote. And the way he would rest his chin on his palm while he paid attention to the lecture.
Despite the fact that Tara knows him, she says they're 'casual friends', you've been unable to muster up the courage to speak to him. You're afraid of embarrassing yourself, of sounding lame or creepy, or of accidentally coughing all over him and therefore disgusting him into thinking you're a gross freak. You know the last scenario is exceedingly unlikely to happen, but it doesn't stop you from worrying.
Today you're sitting outside eating lunch, enjoying the warmth of the autumn sun, knowing it will turn cold within a few weeks. Your friend, Emily, is talking about something that happened in her linguistics lecture while her arm is wrapped cosily around her femme, Penelope. The two have been together for a while, and you've always thought they're such a perfect fit, and although you would never admit it to anyone but Tara, you're a little jealous of their relationship. They're the perfect opposites attract: Emily, an alternative butch who dresses in gothic outfits and listens to Siouxsie and the Banshees 24/7, and Penelope, a colourful, flirty femme who is never seen with less than three pastel accessories and is constantly smiling.
Just as Emily finishes up her story, a familiar face comes into your view. A familiar, gorgeous face.
Spencer is walking by, satchel slung across his torso with the strap twisted, his hair dancing in the breeze. You swallow nervously, instinctively smoothing out your skirt. Tara's eyes flicker to you; she flashes a mischievous grin before calling out to Spencer.
"Hey, Reid," she says. Is Reid a nickname? His last name, maybe?
"Hi, Tara," he responds with a shy wave and the cutest smile you've ever seen. Your stomach is full of butterflies, and just when you think you can't be any more flustered, Spencer turns to look over at you. "Hi, Y/n."
Immediately, you feel like you might explode. The way your voice sounds on his tongue is perfect, so smooth and soft, spoken in the gentlest tone. You hadn't expected him to greet you, but it's a pleasant surprise — one you will probably gush about to Tara later.
"Hi," you squeak out, feeling your cheeks heat up as he looks at you. You feel Emily and Penelope's curious stares pinpointed on you, but you refuse to look over at them. They definitely know something is up, and you don't want to talk about it, especially not while he is right there. You would just end up stumbling over your words as you tried to explain, embarrassing yourself in the process. There is no real way to explain what you feel, not right now.
"You wanna join us?" Tara asks. Her tone is casual, but you know she's doing it to tease you. The thought of actually hanging out with Spencer, albeit with your friends around, makes your heart race. You're not sure if you want him to say yes or no.
But your heart sinks a little at his response. "I, uh, I can't, sorry," Spencer replies. "See you later."
He does not give a reason for being unable to hang out — not that he needs a reason, of course — and pushes his hair out of his face as he walks away. Your eyes linger on him a little too long, but you quickly avert your gaze when he glances back at your group. As soon as he's out of earshot, Penelope can no longer suppress her excited giggle.
"I think you have a crush," she chimes happily.
"I do not," you quickly deny. And it's true, sort of. You don't have a crush on him — not yet, at least — you are just intrigued by him. By the way he fiddles with his pen when he is done writing and is waiting for the professor to continue. By the way he only researches via textbooks; you have never seen him opt to use a computer. By the way he carries himself, his hairstyles and his choice of clothes. It's not a crush, it's more of a fascination. An infatuation.
But, of course, Penelope isn't a mind-reader. She doesn't know all of this. The only person who you have told any of this to is Tara, and she's sworn to secrecy (you have only given her permission to tell any of this to is Rebecca, her girlfriend, but as far as you are aware, Tara hasn't even told her anything).
"Are you sure?" Emily probes, her voice teasing. "That crack in your voice when you said hi to him... I'm not convinced."
"I don't have a crush on him," you reiterate.
Penelope shifts on the wall, turning to Tara. "You'd know, Tara. Does she like him?"
Suppressing a smile, Tara raises her hands. "I can neither confirm nor deny," she answers. You roll your eyes. "What I can say is that she doesn't shut up about him."
"Tara!" you exclaim, slapping her arm lightly. "I hate you."
Your reaction earns a laugh from Emily as she shakes her head at you. You hadn't heard her approach, but now Rebecca is right behind you, letting out a chuckle. "What were you saying to my girlfriend?" she teases.
Tara extends an arm to her, and they share a sickly sweet kiss, murmuring hellos. An annoyed huff leaves your lips; you stand up from the bench and sling your bag over your shoulder.
"I can't stand to be around couples anymore."
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Stupid, you think to yourself.
It's late into the night, the time when all your past regrets and embarrassments weasel their way into your brain to torment you as you try to fall asleep. Tonight's star: being too scared to talk to Spencer.
Eyes squeezed shut and hands curled into the duvet, your mind replays all the times you could have spoken to him but were too anxious to actually do it. You could've sat next to him in a lecture and started a conversation. You could've talked to him about a book he was reading in the library. You could've spoken to him about an assignment from your shared class. You could've done all of these things, and yet you didn't. Because you were scared. But what were you scared of? That he wouldn't want to talk to you? That he would think you're weird? That he would turn around and tell you to fuck off?
Everything that you have learned about him tells you he would not do any of that, but you're still too anxious to say more than a few words to him. You feel pathetic, a familiar sense of self-hatred crawling up your spine to wrap around your neck and choke you. It's suffocating and overwhelming; you want to cry, but that would just make you feel even more pathetic.
After what seems like hours of tossing and turning, debating and regretting, you finally manage to drift off into a less than comfortable sleep. Your dreams are strange — messes of swirled colours and things that seemingly make no sense. Your teeth are falling out as you are forced to follow a pure white owl through a dark forest. You're at a party, in class, your friends drifting in and out of the dreams. You can't make sense of them, too much happening at any given moment to know what is going on.
The sun is creeping up the horizon when your alarm goes off, waking you from a dream where you are playing with a dog that has no face. You groan, burying your face into the pillows as you turn off the alarm and quickly pull your hand back under the covers to protect yourself from the cold.
"Rise and shine." Tara's voice is muffled through your duvet, but you can still hear her loud and clear.
You give an annoyed grunt in response. You just know she's rolling her eyes.
"Get up," she insists, nudging you.
"It's cold," you mumble.
Laughing, Tara grips your duvet and yanks it off of you. "It's not cold."
"Hey!" you exclaim, scrambling to grab it back from her, but she holds it out of your reach. "I'm tiiiired."
"Quit complaining and get up!" she giggles, dumping the duvet at the bottom of your bed. When you stick your tongue out at her, she scoffs and shakes her head, a tiny smirk on her lips. "You're so childish."
With another frustrated grumble, you finally relent, sitting up as you wrap your arms around yourself. You can admit, you'd been dramatic about the cold. Sure, it is a little chilly, but that's to be expected for an October day in Massachusetts.
It's early; the sky tinted pink and orange as the sun rises. You find yourself gazing out the window for a few moments, lost in your thoughts, before you snap back to reality and slip out of bed.
Getting ready is almost a chore at this point. It's annoying trying to find an outfit each day that fits all the requirements: weather appropriate, cohesive, and cute. But luckily, today, you find yourself knowing just what to wear. Maybe it's because you have a class with Spencer today, or maybe you just like the colour, who knows, but you find yourself reaching for one of your fancier tops that you rarely wear. It's a soft pink babydoll, lacy at the top, and long-sleeved. It isn't too thick — so you won't overheat — but it's nice and cosy. You pair it with a plaid brown skirt, black tights, brown boots, and a cream cardigan.
"You're looking cute," Tara teases, stepping into the bathroom as you're doing your make-up. "Are you trying to impress a certain someone?"
The comment distracts you, and you end up poking yourself in the eye with your mascara wand. "Ow!" you exclaim, eyes watering as you squint and blink repeatedly.
Your roommate cracks up, her laughter echoing through the dorm as she doubles over. "Jesus," she manages to pant between giggles, "I didn't expect... that to... fluster you so much."
She is still laughing as you glare at her, dabbing at your watery eye. "Shut up," you snap light-heartedly. "I'm not flustered."
Finally composing herself, Tara takes a deep breath, her smile still tugging at her lips. "Right. Definitely." She nudges you to the side of the sink. "Budge, I need to brush my teeth."
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You decide to sit in the same row as him today. Spencer is already settled when you arrive to your lecture — a cognitive sciences class, which is your minor — so you make the choice to sit in the same row as him. He glances over at you as you take a seat, giving you a soft smile that has your heart doing backflips. Returning the smile, you nervously smooth out your skirt before turning your attention to your professor.
The class drags on for what seems like days; you can't focus on what is being discussed, and you know you'll end up falling behind. You're practically half-asleep when the lecture finally ends, and you blink yourself back to life. Ignoring the annoyed look you are receiving from the professor, you pack away your things and stand up. Your feet are numb and you feel like you might fall down the stairs.
Surprisingly, you manage to make it to the door without tripping over. As you're following the rest of the class out, someone clears their throat behind you. Turning around, you find yourself face to face with Spencer.
"Hi," he says.
"Hi," you reply, a little dumbfounded.
"I, uh, I like your shirt," he comments. You look down, as if you'd forgotten what top you are wearing, but of course you haven't. "It looks really nice on you."
You feel warmth crawling up your neck as you stare at him for a moment. "Thank you," you respond, wracking your brain for something to say to keep the conversation going. "I like your socks."
The sentence is out before you can think. You'd seen his socks peek out from beneath his trousers when you were secretly admiring him during the lecture (the flash of pink beneath his black slacks had caught you off guard, before you noticed they weren't even a pair), and of course, stupidly, that is what you decide to mention. Your face gets even hotter.
Spencer laughs, and it is such a beautiful sound, accompanied by such a beautiful smile. I need to make him laugh more, you think, fidgeting with your sleeve. How can I make him laugh more?
"Thanks," he chuckles softly with a shake of his head. "I haven't, uh, worn matching socks since I was about five. My grandmother told me it's good luck to wear two different ones."
"That's really cute," you reply. You can feel your pulse pounding in your neck as blood rushes to your face. "It's unique."
"Yeah, I guess it is."
Just as you're about to say something else, lips parted and a word hanging off your tongue, you are very rudely interrupted by your professor. "You two lovebirds, shoo. I have another lecture in here in five minutes," he sighs in a half light-hearted manner, running a hand through his grey hair.
"Sorry," you and Spencer both mumble as you hurry out of the lecture hall, your skin burning with embarrassment.
Once the door is shut, you can't help but let out a little laugh. "I think he hates me," you say, adjusting your bag strap.
Spencer smiles and shakes his head. "He's just grumpy."
"Like always," you giggle.
"Yeah," he laughs, fiddling with the buttons on his beige shirt.
Your gaze fixes on his hands for a moment as he fidgets. His fingers, long and deft, twist the buttons around as he breathes a soft sigh. Eyes flickering back up to his face, you give him a shy smile. "Hey, um... do you happen to have the notes for that lecture? I kinda zoned out the whole time."
He chuckles softly again, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. "I, uh, I noticed," he says with an almost teasing tone in his voice. "Yes, of course, you can borrow my notes."
You can't help but smile, biting the inside of your cheek slightly. "Thank you. Do you have free time now?"
"I don't, sorry," Spencer responds, sounding genuinely sad about it. "But I can text you later to arrange a time, or just send you the notes."
"Oh, yeah, of course," you reply, the thought of him having your number making you slightly dizzy. You're too focused on that idea for a moment that you almost forget to actually give him your number. "Oh! I'll have to... put my number in your phone for that."
He lets out a laugh and ducks his head, his smile showing off his perfect teeth. Oh, how you want to feel those teeth grazing your skin.
"Yes, you will." He passes you his phone, and you type in your number and name before handing it back. The brush of his fingers against yours sends sparks up your arm and into your chest, electrifying your heart to pound even faster. "Thanks. I'll, uh, text you later."
"Okay, cool," you say. "See you, Spencer."
"Bye," he says with a cute little wave, heading off down the corridor.
You can't help but watch him for a few moments, before you breathe out a sigh and turn to head the other way. As you do, you fish your phone out of your pocket to text Tara, knowing she is not in a lecture right now.
YOU: Ohghjkg my god guess what
TARA: Omg what
YOU: I spoke to Spencer😭😭😭 He has my number😭😭😭
YOU: I think I blacked out for most of the coversation
TARA: NO WAY
TARA: You finally did it
TARA: I'm so proud
TARA: How did it go ???? What happened ????
YOU: Ok basically
YOU: He said he liked my top and then I said I liked his socks and he laughed and Omghjdhf his laugh is so cute and then I asked to borrow his notes from the class and he said yes but he couldn't right now so he would text me so I gave him my number AAAHHHH
TARA: Awww cuties
YOU: He's so nice
TARA: I told you he was!!!
YOU: Ok shhhhhh
YOU: Where are u so I can come
TARA: Upstairs in the library with JJ
YOU: Ok I'm on my way 😋
You make your way to the library, giddy and excited. Practically bouncing on your feet, you hurry upstairs to look for your friends. Once you spot them, you head over and sit down beside JJ.
"Hi, guys," you say, dropping your bag onto the floor by your feet.
"Hey," JJ replies with a smile.
You've known JJ for only a few months, but she is one of the sweetest people you've ever met. She's also a femme lesbian, and you have a lot of fun with her. Although you're very different from each other — she is sporty and studies communications, while you study sciences and are into art — you enjoy her presence. Her girlfriend Elle, however, another femme, shares some of your interests, and you've been getting pretty close over the past few weeks.
That is what the two had been talking about when you'd arrived. Tara and JJ had been discussing the idea of a double date, or a triple date with Emily and Penelope, too. It's cute, really, that your friends are all in such happy and healthy relationships, but an ugly, jealous feeling brews in your stomach. You hadn't dated anyone in so long, and even your most recent relationship was awful and you were unhappy.
"Maybe you and Spencer can come along, too. Quadruple date," Tara suggests, grinning.
You bury your face in your hands, embarrassed. "Shut up," you mumble, but you can't hold back your smile.
"Who's Spencer?" asks JJ, a lightly teasing tone in her voice.
"Nobody," you answer, lifting your head. "Well, maybe not nobody."
With a curiously raised eyebrow, JJ glances over at Tara, who just shrugs and smiles, folding her hands on the table.
"So...?" the blonde prompts.
"Well, um," you start, struggling to find the words. "I guess he's just someone I might have a teensy little thing for..."
Tara laughs, clapping her hands twice. "So you finally admit it."
"Okay, shush," you reply, your face getting warm for what must be the hundredth time today. "Nothing's going to happen with it."
"What's he like?" JJ inquires with a tilt of her head.
"Smart," you answer, ducking your head nervously. "And sweet. He dresses like an old man, kinda. It's cute. And he's shy... he seemed nervous when we talked."
Your friend smiles, twisting her golden hair around her finger as she gazes at you with a cheeky glint in her eye. "Maybe he likes you."
"Right," Tara agrees. "Just ask him out."
"What!?" you squeak. "No!"
"Why not?" she asks.
You frown, dropping your gaze to your lap, where you fidget with the hem of your skirt. Shrugging, you mutter, "It's scary. He'll say no. And... and I don't even know him yet. I can't just ask out someone I don't know."
"Dating him would be a chance to get to know him," JJ mentions, resting her arms on the table.
"I know," you sigh, looking back up at your friends. "I just don't want to... not yet, at least. Okay?"
"Okay," they both say.
"We don't mean to pressure you, hon," JJ says gently. "But I think it'd be good for you to be in a happy relationship."
"And what if it ends up like my last relationship?" you counter. "What if it all goes to shit again?"
"Trust me," Tara responds, "Spencer is nice. He doesn't have one cruel bone in his body. He would never treat someone badly."
You trace imaginary shapes onto the table with your fingertip. "Well, yeah... I just need to be friends with him first. To build trust and learn stuff about him."
"That's smart."
"But, you know, to be friends with him, you actually have to talk to him," Tara teases. "And about stuff other than cognitive sciences."
Her comment manages to bring a smile to your face, a soft laugh slipping out. "Yeah, I guess so."
"Don't worry, I'm sure he'd love to talk with you and hang out with you."
You let out a groan, hiding your face in your hands as JJ and Tara giggle.
In which Autistic Spencer Reid and Neurodivergent Reader go to a Easter Party hosted by Penelope Garcia and end up having to share a bed at the end of the night where Spencer confesses his feelings. (Fluff!)
masterlist
word count: 3.6k
tags: one bed trope, fake relationship/ fake boyfriend trope for a minute, autistic spencer reid, neurodivergent reader, anxiety, overwhelmed, easter, party, mentions of jelle, mentions of morcia, spring, dealing with mental health, love confession, first kiss, sharing clothes. Mentions of Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Penelope Garcia, Elle Greenaway, Jennifer Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Aaron Hotchner and David Rossi.
No warnings
notes: This fic is a request from @dearreidr I hope you enjoy this! If you have any requests feel free to leave them below or dm me!
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For easter Penelope was hosting a party at her apartment. She did this for every holiday and just like every other party she had to practically beg Spencer to attend. He was shy and didn’t like drinking and something about Penelope’s parties was that there were always multiple people just as full of colour as she was which was slightly overwhelming and there was always a themed punch with way too much alcohol mixed together.
This was the first party that you were attending, for the last one, the Christmas party, you were only two weeks into working at the BAU and felt awkward turning up at Penelope’s place for a party when you barely knew anyone. But now, just over 4 months in, you have made friends and connections with the rest of the team. You were particularly close with Penelope, Spencer and Elle. The four of you hung out often outside of work if Penelope wasn’t with Derek, Elle wasn’t with JJ and if Spencer actually left the comfort of his apartment, although you didn’t mind going over to Spencer’s and spending time in his dimly lit living room with a book each just enjoying the quiet and each others company.
The day before the party they had been called in for a case luckily it was nearby and the police department already had a lead. You, Spencer, Elle and Hotch were in one of the SUVs heading to the crime scene when Elle brought up the party.
“What are you wearing tomorrow?” Elle directed toward you.
You shrugged, “I haven’t thought about it, Penelope said something about costumes but I don’t have anything easter themed.”
“Oh don’t worry about that just pick out a pretty dress and be yourself. What about you Spence?”
“I wasn’t going to go.”
“What? Penelope said she convinced you!” Elle spun around in the passenger seat to see you and Spencer in the back of the car.
“I’m just not feeling it,” Spencer shrugged it off.
You frowned and faced Spencer, “Please come, I don’t know what I’d do without you there. It’s my first Penelope Garcia party.” If Spencer wasn’t going you didn’t want to go either, you liked everyone else but you felt most comfortable with Spencer not to mention your small crush on him.
“It’s just awkward, I'm not fun, it’s overwhelming and I don’t drink; that's the whole point of a party.”
“Not to me, it’s just a chance for us to hang out. I won’t drink and the minute we both get overwhelmed we can remove ourselves for a little while. Please?”
Spencer sighed, “I suppose so, you promise right? About the overwhelming thing, not drinking you can drink if you want to I am not going to stop you.”
“I don’t want to I just want to spend time with you, I promise.”
Elle smirked at the both of you, “Alright love birds. That didn’t take much persuading did it?”
Spencer’s cheeks flushed red as he shrugged and turned to look out of the window so he was no longer a part of the conversation.
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You threw on one of the nicest dresses you could find in your closet since you don't own many but you wanted to look nice for Penelope’s party along with a pair of white kitten heels and a white bunny ears headband you figured that would be good enough for the costume requirement, it wasn't like you were expected to show up dressed as an easter egg right?
Anxiety was already filling your chest with the fear of not knowing what to expect and knowing if Spencer didn’t usually like these parties there was a big chance that you wouldn't like it either.
While you were adding a small amount of pink lip gloss to your lips to go with the small amount of subtle makeup on your face you had one message from Penelope and one message from Spencer come through on your phone.
“You’re staying the night. Bring PJs and snacks and whatever else you need! Maybe a blanket too if not I've got some. See you soon, Kisses XX” -Penelope.
And,
“Hi, I suppose you received a message from Penelope about a sleepover… Are you planning on staying?”
“Would you like me to pick you up? You do not live too far and I don’t mind driving.” - Spencer Reid
You giggled at Spencer signing his message off with his full name but then more nerves overtook you, Penelope’s message didn’t reveal who was staying, what time everyone was leaving in the morning, where you would be sleeping, if there would be breakfast, if you were going to have to stay in groups because surely she didn’t have enough beds for everyone. You caught yourself just before you bit off your nails that you had been growing and doing a good job of so far considering nail-biting was something you did unconsciously when you were anxious or stressed.
You typed a reply back to Spencer, “Um, I suppose we don’t have a choice really so I guess I am. I would appreciate you picking me up if you really don’t mind thank you. And you don’t have to sign your name Spence, I have you saved.”
You weren't expecting him to reply again, you knew he would check the message and register it but it was unlikely he would reply however this time you were wrong he did reply.
“How are you feeling? I can come sooner if you need to talk about anything?”
You smiled, you had never told Spencer that you necessarily struggled with feeling anxious and overwhelmed but you assumed he had picked up on it due to him being autistic and feeling similar things about similar situations as you did and also with his IQ of 187.
Y/N: “I'm a little anxious about what to expect but I’m okay, Please just turn up when you are ready. How are you feeling?”
Spencer: “The same as you. I know what to expect though. Do you want a run-through?”
Y/N: “That would be great, thank you.”
Spencer: “Usually, she plays pop music, so I have been told, I think JJ mentioned Taylor Swift. It’s quite loud and the colourful lights are not a great help when It comes to not being overwhelmed but there’s a small green space outside her apartment. It's nice to sit there or in one of the bedrooms when it is getting too much. She had a wide selection of finger foods, there’s a good selection for everyone there will definitely be something you like. There will be unfamiliar faces, she has a lot of friends most with bubbly personalities like hers but they leave at around midnight sometimes even before if there’s a club open.”
Y/N: “Thank you.”
Spencer picked you up at quarter to 9, as he walked to your door he wiped his palms against his brown slacks, he was nervous about the party but in all honestly, he was more nervous to see you. Derek had been telling him for a while now to make a move because he could tell you felt the same way but Spencer would never believe that, what would someone like you see in someone like him? Yes, you had similarities but he was different and you were gorgeous there were definitely prettier men than him out there.
He knocked twice on the door, the knock had a certain rhythm that you used when you knocked on his door, he didn't know if it was a signal that you were at his door or if it was just something you did unconsciously like biting your nails.
You opened the door and stepped back to give a little distance between the two of you, it wasn’t because you didn’t want to be close to him because of course you did he was your favourite person, it was because you didn’t like the feel of people breathing on you for a little while after you had surrounded yourself with people.
His mouth opened as his eyes ran up and down you, his cheeks also blushed at the same time. You couldn't help a little giggle that escaped your lips, “Hi Spence, You look nice.”
“Hi. You look… beautiful… gorgeous um really nice?” Spencer switched between words not knowing which one would sound best for someone he liked but didn’t want to reveal that he liked you in that way, but he also wanted to make you feel good about yourself because you deserved that and he never wanted you to doubt that you didn’t look good.
“Thank you,” You grabbed your bag from the small table beside the front door. “Oh Penelope said about snacks and a blanket but I don’t want to take mine off my bed,” You bit your lip.
“She has so many snacks she won’t realise that you didn’t bring any. I didn’t either and she has blankets too.”
You nodded, “Okay, should we go?”
“Yes,” Spencer looked to the left down the hallway before turning back to you and whispering, “Someone is watching us.”
You rolled your eyes, “Probably Steven, he lives on the other end of the floor. He waits for me and Storm, my neighbour, to leave the apartment so he can ask us on dates, he’s a little creepy.”
“Can I hold your hand?” Spencer asked.
Your brows furrowed in confusion, “Why? I mean yes but why?”
“So he thinks I’m your boyfriend then he will leave you alone.”
“Oh,” You put your hand out allowing him to take it and thanking him before the thoughts started circulating in your brain. Spencer didn’t hold people’s hands, he didn’t like the amount of germs that could be transferred between people holding hands. But he would hold yours?
You locked your apartment with your free hand, your other hand still occupied by Spencer’s warm large hand. You could feel Steven approaching.
“Hey man, is something wrong?” Spencer asked as he walked over.
“Who are you? Why are you bothering her?” Steven squinted at Spencer.
“He’s not bothering me, Spencer is my boyfriend,” You smiled with a small blush.
“But I’m your boyfriend?” Steven said.
“No, we talked about this, we just live on the same floor Steven, plus you’re a lot older than me.”
“Where are you going? You look nice.”
“We are going out for dinner,” Spencer said, moving his hand from yours to circle around your lower back and rest on your hip, which he regretted when he realised he hadn’t asked for permission to do that. Once Steven nodded and returned to his apartment and you along with Spencer entered the elevator he immediately apologised.
“You have nothing to apologise for, you were helping me out and it felt nice,” You subtly tried to flirt with him.
“Really?” He asked, opening the car door for you.
“Really,” You smiled getting into the car.
—-----------------
As you both approached the door to Penelope’s apartment the booming music could already be heard. Before he opened the door for you he offered a warm, comforting smile which you returned to signal you were ready to go in if he was. He pushed open the door and immediately you were met with an obscene amount of colourful fairy lights, a disco ball, the even louder music but luckily only around 15 people which was a lot for a small apartment but you could work with that considering most of them probably wouldn’t talk to you anyway.
“Are you okay?” Spencer checked in with you.
You felt a little bad he had his own problems with overwhelming things and adding the worry of if you were okay was probably going to be too much for him and you didn’t want to be the reason why he felt uncomfortable or stressed, “Yes thank you, Spence. Are you okay?”
Spencer nodded, “For now.”
Penelope was the first to come over to the both of you yelling over the music in her usual joyful tone but with added giggles as she had already been drinking, “Finally, I thought you guys had ditched us. Elle and JJ are on the sofa, Emily is getting more punch, Derek is dancing with me obviously and well you have eyes you can find everyone. Make yourselves at home.”
You smiled at her, “Thank you for inviting me.”
“Duh! You're one of my favourites of course you were going to be invited, don’t tell the others though. That goes for you too Smartie Pants don’t tell anyone she’s my favourite,” Penelope rambled.
“Of course, she’s my favourite too,” Spencer blushed as he spoke.
“Enough flattery. I’m going to get a drink if that’s okay?” You directed toward Penelope.
“Yes Doll, help yourself. Mi casa es tu casa,” Penelope replied in a very dodgy Spanish accent before returning to her makeshift dance floor.
You made your way through to the next room only having to weave through a few people before reaching the kitchen when you realised Spencer had followed you there, “Would you like something?”
“No, I’m good thank you, Um I don’t want to leave you but will you be okay if speak to Hotch for a bit?” Spencer asked as his left hand travelled to the back of his neck rubbing it.
“Spence you don’t need my permission you can do what you like,” You smiled picking up one of the blue plastic cups.
“Oh okay, I’ll see you in a bit,” Spencer walked off leaving you in the kitchen alone for a couple of minutes while you poured your drink before spotting Emily and deciding to stick with her for a while.
Around an hour later, your social battery was beginning to drain, maybe you needed another drink but you already had one and you didn’t want to risk drinking anymore and getting tipsy from god knows what was in that punch when you had promised Spencer you wouldn’t be drinking.
A few times you had looked around the room trying to find him to remove yourself from the party for a little while since you were right in the middle of it all but he was nowhere to be seen. After finding Emily she had convinced you to go with her over to the dance floor since the majority of the team were over in that direction.
A couple of minutes ago you had seen Hotch with Rossi but still no Spencer in sight. You looked at the time on your phone, surely Hotch would be leaving soon to get home to his wife and child and Rossi would probably be going home soon too, perhaps that would prompt other people to start leaving and everything would die down so you could find Spencer. The what-ifs and possible scenarios of how things could go started running through your brain which would cause a panic soon enough.
“Are you okay Sugar?” Penelope asked, snapping you from your thoughts.
You nodded, “Yeah, do you have somewhere I could go and sit for a little while?”
“Mhm, the spare bedroom or the green space outside but I think Spencer went into the spare bedroom not too long ago,” Penelope rubbed the side of your arm.
“Thank you,” You smiled at her and left the front room to search for the spare bedroom, you should have asked where it was, that was your fault but it wasn’t a big apartment it wouldn’t be too hard to find.
—-----------------
Once you had found the only room left with the door closed you knocked on the door lightly in the way that Spencer would recognise.
“Come in,” He called through the door before you pushed it open and closed it behind you.
“Hi, Are you okay?” You asked from the door, you didn’t want to go over to him and interfere in his personal space if he needed a break from social interaction.
“Just needed a break,” Spencer gave you a soft smile.
“Do you want me to leave?”
“No, you’re fine here. Are you okay?”
“Same as you, needed a break it was getting loud.”
Spencer patted the space on the bed beside him, You perched on the edge of the bed not wanting to be too close to him because you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.
“I won’t bite,” He laughed so you moved over a little move.
“What do you like to do when you feel overwhelmed?” Spencer asked.
“Listen to music usually but right now I definitely don’t want to, my ears need a break, what about you?”
“Read, usually something with a lot of facts nothing fictional,” Spencer placed his hands on his stomach intertwining both of them.
You looked down at his hands, “I didn’t think you’d be one for fiction ever.”
“I indulge every so often, it’s good to mix things up they are mostly classics though.”
“No modern romance novels in there Doctor Reid?” You teased.
“Uhh, I’ve read a couple, they aren’t awful,” Spencer blushed a little which caught your attention.
“Spencer Reid! What books have you been reading!”
“Nothing nothing, just something I found at the library once… I should have been sceptical after the 20-something librarian told me it was one of her favourites.”
“I need you to lend me this book if it’s got you blushing like that,” You laugh.
“Um, I think I still have it if you actually do want it?” Spencer said not sure if you were joking or not.
“Give it to me tomorrow,” You laid on your side facing him.
“What books do you like to read? I see you with romance novels sometimes.”
“Yeah, mostly romance but also horror or maybe a thriller anything entertaining,” You shrug awkwardly due to how you were lying.
“Maybe we could both swap books, I’d like to read something you like,” Spencer’s dimples showed through his smile.
You nodded just before the door was swung open.
“Hi lovebirds, we are wrapping things up, I just wanted to tell you we’ve agreed to let you two take this room, Derek and I are in my room and everyone else is in the living room,” Penelope said a lot louder than she had to speak considering she wasn’t near the loudspeakers anymore.
“Are you comfortable with that?” Spencer asked you.
“Yeah that’s fine with me and you?” You asked in return out of respect.
“Fine by me, I’d rather it be you than anyone else.”
“Okay great! If either of you needs anything the house is yours help yourself,” Penelope flashed a toothy smile, “Goodnight babies, no sex please,” she said as she left the room leaving you and Spencer blushing and stuttering for a response that never came.
“That was weird,” Spencer’s cheeks were still a rosy red, “Do you want me to get your bag?”
“No it’s okay, I forgot to pack pyjamas so I will sleep in this, I don’t know how I forgot,” You groaned.
“Probably because you were anxious,” Spencer stated before adding, “You could borrow the shirt I brought for pyjamas, I could just wear the bottoms if you are comfortable with that?”
“Really? Are you sure?”
“I don’t want you to be uncomfortable and I doubt you’re comfy in that, although it’s very nice, you look pretty.”
“You told me earlier,” You giggled, “Thank you.”
Spencer got off the bed taking his shirt and plaid pyjama pants out of his usual go bag for work, “I’ll let you change first uh I’ll wait outside.”
“It’s okay you don’t have to go just turn around,” You smiled to which he nodded.
Once you were in only his shirt and your underwear you felt a little exposed but luckily his shirt was long and covered everything. You had taken off the little makeup you had on which also made you feel a little bare.
He was in his pj pants with no shirt and he looked good, really good, you both got under the covers facing each other.
“You look even more beautiful than earlier,” Spencer said before his eyes widened a little, “Wait you always look beautiful.”
“It’s okay I know what you meant, thanks, Spence.”
Spencer’s hand inched closer to you, “Maybe. No would it be okay if I kissed you? I have wanted to for a while and-“
You cut Spencer off, “You want to kiss me?”
“Um i-if you want?”
“Yeah… I’d be okay with that.”
Spencer leaned closer to you placing a hand on the side of your face before his eyes fluttered shut while your lips connected.
It was a soft kiss, slow. No tongue, but it was perfect. One of the best kisses you had ever had.
When he pulled away he kept his hand on your face, “Was that okay?”
“More than okay,” You smiled, your eyes crinkled at the sides.
“Could we go on a date at some point?” Spencer asked with hope in his eyes.
“Yeah I’d like that,” You placed a kiss on the inside of his wrist as it rested near your mouth.
His smile grew, “Do you want to sleep?”
“Yeah I’m kinda tired… is that okay?”
“Of course! I’m going to face the other because I have a thing about people breathing on me,” he said.
“I have that too!” You laughed, “We will both face opposite ways.”
After you turned around it didn’t take long for either of you to fall asleep.
———————-
9 am the next morning Penelope knocked quietly on the door, she assumed you’d be up by now and didn’t want to disturb you but wanted to make sure you were okay.
When she didn’t get a response she quietly opened the door to see both you and Spencer cuddled together on one side of the bed and his arm draped over your waist. She snapped a picture to show you both later before calling the others who were already awake to see the adorable scene.
