But I'll love you always.
I wish you meant less to me so I could let my addiction swallow me. But you’ll never mean less to me. I wish I had the chance to experience that part of my life…and I don’t know if I’m more grateful or upset about it. But I’ll always love you. In all honestly.. I feel like one of these days it will…it’ll swallow me whole and possibly you too… but I’ll always love you. Things would get bad, scary and ugly..but I’ll always love you. Maybe that’s what I need in life… what I used to have… the bad.. the addict-enabler partner… the one you were for her…God how I wish you were that but to me… you probably wouldn’t have gotten clean.. or you would have and I wouldn’t have been able to…. I always told you I wouldn’t get addicted to anything… Guess I lied.. an I know I could never hide something like that from you. I’m so proud of your sobriety.. thing is.. maybe I don’t want mine anymore.., but I’ll always love you.