#butineedto

[thefallofsydnitroy]

I'm struggling with this so very hard right now. #idontwanttogo #butineedto #anietysucks #imhappyhere #imgonnamissyou

[mootheradish2017-blog]

Idol Operation Chapter 17

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”

        Moo always thought that being a trainee for having an idol life is easy as procrastinating when you have exams tomorrow, but it wasn't. Being an idol means friendship cut loose. Parents too far away from you. Being lonely even if you have many roommates. Crying yourself to sleep. Missing home. Missing those warm eyes and hugs. Missing their presence. Being an idol means you are just existing. Being an idol means you may be a celebrity to others but honestly you are just a visual representation of expectations. Something you have always given to the others but the truth lies within, 'You cannot give what you don't have'. (Just like what transport vesicles do to the cell membrane.)

       Expectation comes with great responsibility and Moo felt that sometimes its just too much. There are many people judging how you look. How long you will last. How you will show yourself. How high your talents are. How beautiful you are. And those times she just wanted to throw up in the toilet because her lungs and stomach can't handle hours of practice and all the strain, the stress and the stupid desperation to fulfill the expectation of the other people and not from yourself.

       But its alright, Moo tells herself because she knew she needed a break from the so called dungeon, namely the practice room. She'll leave for a while and probably come back with a new determination. Well she hopes it works. After all packing her stuff in her favorite back pack -the one she always use since it was her only comfort from home, is such a hassle she wanted to die.

“To all the bastards who looked down on me I’ll shake their hands instead of revenge Be careful, a necktie and watch Can become a noose and handcuffs...”

Lyrics (c) Block B ‘Jackpot’

[ithurtstobec0me]

That "pre coming out" anxiety never goes away

[general-confusion]

about to spend the rest of my night in a practice room...

[mountaindoodoo]

i just want to drink

and drink and drink and drink and then drink some more. everyday. I need a fucking drink

[graceg0d]

Looks like it's studying time. 

[lynnansidhe]

I need motivation to get an Evermore book review up on my blog.

[stereo-heartbeat-blog]

I refuse to listen to leaked ATL songs until they come out Oct. 9.