I’m a bit upset. I have both PTSD and CPTSD (which follow me every fucking day, tyvm, so I know the lasting effects), I have spent 2000+ hours playing DAI, I’ve exhausted all Cullen’s dialogue options in DAI, exhausted all his dialogue in other games, and read his profile in WOTv2, so it’s not like I don’t have the knowledge and understanding of Cullen’s character to form my opinion. I will always, always believe they didn’t do enough for Cullen’s character, that Cullen’s redemption arc was/is almost non-existent, and that no matter how well written his PTSD is, it doesn’t excuse him from his past actions or his “Yes, but...” attitude in DAI. I’m talking and referring to writing mechanics here, which reflect real life, and is used to show progression and forward motion, aka overcoming blocks and deadends.
You literally can fill in any Cullen you want by Trespasser. His haters can say he hasn’t changed or isn’t remorseful and they can be right despite Cullen saying differently in a few scenes. Because he only said it passively, we didn’t get to see it. His breakdown is about his recovery and his PTSD, NOT his redemption. Yes, they go together (his PTSD will affect his recovery and his redemption), and that’s why I am upset at his writing because they wrote one side but, to me, forgot the other. It wasn’t enough for me. The writing doesn’t challenge that part of Cullen’s story.
In fact, his excuse by mid-game “Meredith’s methods were harsh but the kept people safe” only shows that he hasn’t truly reflected on all the damage he has dealt (”but his PTSD” you may say. That, to me, someone with PTSD/CPTSD, is an excuse. He should have done SOME reflecting by this point, especially since he acknowledges some of his failings/what happened. If you say he can’t because of his mental illness then there is no story, there is no forward motion, you write stories for the forward motion, not to be static). Yes, he says the Inquisition is his chance to atone, that people died is “a truth that haunts” him, but he says this between saying mages shouldn't be free (nor imprisoned) and Meredith’s methods kept people safe. At this point you can say due to his PTSD he is still recovering and won’t be at the point to say otherwise. Well, at what point will, a fictional character, who has been recovering for the last two years or so, start to say, “perhaps not all Templars weren’t innocent and that may have been part of the problem” (his respect for the Templars is one thing, but blind faith is another. I know he will always respect Templars and look up to them, but perhaps he can see that mages weren’t the only dangers in the Circles) or “perhaps we can give mages a chance to show themselves capable of being free” (if mages were allied and they’ve been free for some time)? Recovery is an individual thing, some people need more time than others. But I believe enough time has passed for Cullen to begin to show enough change that I shouldn’t even need to have this opinion.
We have Blackwall literally turn himself in, an action you cannot refute. That is an action that leads to a true redemption. You can not say Blackwall hasn’t changed at that point. Now we have Cullen’s breakdown (which may, for some, be enough) but those two are actually completely different to me. Cullen’s breakdown is about his recovery from Lyrium and his trauma, wanting to get away from a life that wasn’t what he wanted for himself. His breakdown was not part of his redemption (yes, he worries about not doing enough for the Inquisition, but that one line seems more about his own abilities off lyrium than anything else). In fact it’s was only after this breakdown could his redemption arc truly begin. But I feel that afterwards we get nothing. We get a climax (his breakdown) but then no following resolution. He says, if you keep him off lyrium, that maybe he can put those events behind him now. So why not push him a little? Have him meet someone he wronged? Give him a smaller breakdown after Blackwall turns himself in, question himself just a little instead of asking “why” Blackwall would do such a thing? Give us bigger insight on Cullen’s own self reflection.
Two steps forward, one step back.
At the very least have him by the end of Inquisition state more about Meredith? Truly have him renounce her, to take back what he said mid-game and realize her methods were what drove the mages to fear? Fear that he saw in their eyes and recognized (hello WOTv2)? How much healing would that give Cullen to do that? Meredith straight up made his mental health worse, abused him and his vulnerability, and him finally stating that he can see just how much damage she did to him? How is that not a good step forward? (it’s adds to his beginning redemption, it’s a start not an end.) It may be words, but the writing could have backed them up by adding a line to his end game slide stating that his Templar clinic invited mages as healers perhaps? That his good works included helping mages?
I, personally, needed more. I needed more falling action, more resolution, more on Cullen’s changing opinions and thoughts near the end of the game (not just on mages either). Something, anything, that is clear for everyone. It may be clear for you, but it wasn’t for me and, I know, for others. And not because we don’t understand Cullen or PTSD. For you, the writing may have been enough, and that’s fine, I’m happy for you because you’re not frustrated like I am about it. It’s done, DAI is over, and Cullen’s story is told. To me, as someone who also knows Cullen and PTSD, Cullen’s story frustrates me because it wasn’t enough to satisfy me, it didn’t feel complete to me.
I love Cullen, I know he wants to be a good person. But the dude has flaws. And he is not just his PTSD. He has done bad things (mostly, inaction) and those bad things were not properly addressed during DAI in my opinion. PTSD is a reason why, and a speed-bump to recovery, but not an excuse and not a reason to simply ignore a part of Cullen’s story. Him getting over his PTSD or him beginning to heal during DAI is not a redemption arc. It is part of a bigger story, Cullen’s story, which comprises of his lyrium recovery, his healing/his PTSD, and his redemption. Focusing on one does not take the place of the other. Focusing on one and ignoring the other is forgetting the other. I don’t want that! I want Cullen to have an amazing arc that I know he can have! I want this because I love the character. And I hate missed potential.
Recognizing a character’s flaws is not a bad thing! How can you truly love a character without knowing all sides of them? Cullen is thick headed and an ass sometimes, but that’s okay, those are his flaws, love him or hate him. He can also be gentle and cares about others. I’m the Dorian of Cullen fans tbh, I may talk shit about Cullen, but it’s because I care and love him that I do. If I hated him or didn’t like him, I wouldn’t have taken my whole freaking morning writing this damn post. ...which I may delete, IDK. Like, the only hate you see on my blog is for Moffat, like, if I don’t like something, I just ignore it. But I care too much because: Potential, layers, dynamic, hey they did the mental illness thing good, hey his romance is good, hey this is good start, let’s do this...wait, where’s the rest of it? :(
(Here is some views I want Cullen to have by the end of Trespasser, which seem reasonable to me, that I would have loved to see some clue in the game to him having:
He still views mages as very dangerous, but no longer thinks less of them for it (as he did in DA2 and some of DAI). He’ll come to respect most mages for their continued fight against demon temptation like he would an old warrior. (Occasionally his fear of mages will return as a knee jerk reaction but he will correct himself.)
He still supports Templars but does not want to see them within the Chantry. He will also accept the idea of mages within the Templar ranks, believing cooperation will be more efficient than not. He will also push for more Templar presence in all places, but mostly near the College of Enchanters. He will also help those who wish to shed their Lyrium addiction and call for ways the order can continue without such a crutch. In general, he’ll want the Order to reform for the better.
He accepts that mages can govern themselves but continues to believe in strong magical law enforcement, such as Templar presence in towns and cities, laws that restrict magical use, strong punishments for those who use magic to harm others, etc. He continues to follow Andraste’s words that magic is meant to serve.
He believes in strong magical education that should continue into adulthood or more.
He will always believe in no tolerance for blood magic, that those who practice it should be put to death. He will, however, be reasonable (after being talked to), that blood magic done with only the use of one’s own blood should not mean insta-death, but instead a (long) prison sentence.)
Also also, I never fucking said Cullen was a bad person, omg...
