#c!r

[secretlymarkipliersbarry]

I still miss him sometimes, not romantically at all either, but I just miss the friend he was. He really wasn’t controlling or mean until the last year of knowing him. He was fun to be around and it was fun to play games with him all the time. To just talk and joke and fuck around. It’s hard not having that anymore, its hard to go through change. 

If he were to come back today and want to be friends again I wouldn’t take the offer cause there is just to much negativity and I don’t want to put myself in that toxic hold. Not to mention out of respect to my boyfriend I wont have him come in and say negative shit about us again like he tried to before.

It’s just trying to heal I guess. It’s hard but it’s worth it. 

[secretlymarkipliersbarry]

I remember when I was out in the camper, crying over my ex-boyfriend (Boyfriend at the time) and telling you how I didn’t understand.

I didn’t understand why he was so mean to me, why nothing I did was right in his eyes. I didn’t understand why he was always mad at me.

You told me it wasn’t my fault. You told me it was his. That he didn’t deserve me. I am still grateful for what you did, and how you helped me to get over him.

But now, there is no one to help me get over you. 

You’re probably with her, not even thinking about me or having a care as to what I am doing. You seemed to lose your care for me a long time ago.

I don’t understand what I did wrong. You’re treating me the same as he did, yet you were the one who said I didn’t deserve it.

[secretlymarkipliersbarry]

Do you ever message someone and when you text them on skype or discord or whatever they seem normal and nice but you like.. idk text them and every time you text them they just always sound mad and angry with you?

Like I'm actually crying here dont mind me

[secretlymarkipliersbarry]

If he truly cared he would have came to see in person to fix things, but he didn't. So why waste my time anymore.

[secretlymarkipliersbarry]

[secretlymarkipliersbarry]

I dunno dude it just kinda fucking breaks you when a dude begs you for topless photos and then has the nerve to go "I just wanna be friends"

[secretlymarkipliersbarry]

I hate that I can't just ENJOY things anymore.

I go to watch a show, or a game lets play, and just think about how I wish I could watch it with you.

I think about the games I'm playing and how I want to play them with you

I constantly check my phone in hope of seeing a message from you

But you moved on. You have a new life.. new friends. You dont need me nor care.

I doubt you've thought about me once. About playing games or watching shows with me.

While it's all I think about