There was no recognition of the passage of time, no precognition to aid him now, no sun or moon light to indication the hour. There was just the dirt and the darkness. Despite having no way out, he still calmed his mind and focused on his breathing, well aware that the air would run out slowly but surely. At first, he tried to not think of much, but soon his mind drifted to the recount how he got into this position. From offering himself up to be a slave, to the people he met. Becoming reacquainted with Etera had been the first highlight, making him feel like he was someone outside of his recluse nature and incessant, someone others might want around. Then others became his friends. Hemi. Barry. Seth. Lysander. Carter. Chandler. Wicek. Josh. Shade. Mason. All these people who enjoyed having him around.
And yet here he was. All his books and reading and knowledge couldn’t save him. The longer he spent with his thoughts, the more he acknowledged that, and the more he recognised that none of those people needed him. Etera would solve his situation somehow, Barry would too. Seth would grow into a smart and capable witch with time, Wicek would figure out his abilities. Hemi would be fine, he always was, and Carter? He felt horrible that he had caused all this trouble for him.
With the little bit of space, he pulled his notebook from his back pocket. Thank goodness he had long ago put an enchantment on it, one that allowed him to speak directly to the book and find the words soon written on the page as he intended. He wanted to have a last say on things, even if nobody ever found and read it.
“Barry. Your warmth and your sweetness made me want to be kinder and friendlier. I wanted to protect you. Sorry I couldn't be there to do that, then or now. Don't let my death dull that smile and laugh, and the man, I love so much. Love always, Percy.”
“Hemi. No matter what anybody says, your feelings always mattered to me, good or bad. You deserve to be loved for every part of you, and I only wish I could have been that person for you. I will always love you. I'm sorry I wasn't a good enough witch to help you. With all my heart, Percy.”
“Carter. Thank you for being such a good friend. I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused you. Don’t accept less than you deserve, because you deserve the world. With love, Percy.”
“Etera. I’m sorry for not being good enough for you. I’m sorry for not being able to help you or make you happy. I still loved you anyways, you grumpy ass. Love, Percy.”
He must have been running low on oxygen now, the pain of struggling for air was getting stronger and his mind felt hazy and unclear. Percival pressed the notebook to his chest, hand resting over it, as he focused again on his breathing and what little left of it he would be doing.
@barrywakefield | @eteratekoha