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the two universal constants of roleplaying scenes, “one-on-one secret sharing while we’re on watch together” and “whole-party strategy meeting over breakfast”

#dnd #and both of them make me so emotional whenever they come up #it's about 'alright how are we gonna tackle today's situation'.....#it's about eating breakfast.......#it's about getting vulnerable with one (1) other person late at night........#c:empire #c:crop

I may not always know what to put on a character playlist but I at least know where to start, and that is with Dirty by grandson. Every time.

#c:crop

game about grief! crop is a game about grief.

#c:crop #i am. still on my posting ban. and will have more things to say. but it's like. of course it went this way y'know #game about still trying even past losing everything.#trying and it. not being enough. sometimes you do *everything* and it's. not enough. and you have to face whether you're gonna try again #man. i'm emotionally WIPED.#in a good way i think but. man.

this winter break!

#jesus fucking christ we're DOING the battle.....#we're doing the battle TOMORROW.....#apologies everyone i'm gonna get really insufferable. we've been building up to this battle for A Full Year.#alternately i may be too stressed to make Any posts we'll see how it goes.#i just. jesus christ. uberta!#cami and fasach are gonna be literally so fine. they're gonna be fine.#and the city's gonna hold!!! literally it's gonna hold. it's gonna.#c:crop

AH just realized I think this is the first time that elliot's been the one to present a plan and have cerise just go "yeah, you're right, that's what we'll do." slamming my head into the wall.

#c:crop #cha:cerise #man she's so so so grateful for him right now. I'M so grateful for him right now.#there was a really fun effect the other night where i was just staring at that really brutal rp message about the shifted dynamic #reading it for the second time as i tried to figure out how the hell to go on #and then meg EDITED it to add the 'elliot walks beside his sister' line and i FELT it hit my heart--#it. man. he sure is On Her Side #it's that like. steadiness that comes with being siblings. cerise and elliot certainly disagree-she just counterspelled him!#they were both snapping at each other! she immediately came at him with this harsh tone and he pushed her on her choices!#but at the same time he made it very clear that he's with her anyway #and it's. cerise NEEDED him to say 'go talk to monique and i'll talk to calista'#she's soooo good at bearing down and making Logical Next Steps but this was bad enough that she hadn't GOTTEN there yet #and i like. she kind of *needed* someone to be like 'go talk to them'#or she'd have feared their reactions enough to keep isolating at least for a while longer #and there's elliot! and he's on her side and he's not angry at her and he's the one to pitch damage control #and they still disagree and she's counterspelled him before and she'll do it again if she thinks she has to #but GOD she's so so so grateful to have him here. she's SO grateful.#and so she can let him see that she hates herself and she's scared and she doesn't know what she's doing!#even if just for a second she can let him see it!#because it's. that's her brother! that's what your sibling is for!

i. man. we’re OUT....cerise got her people out of this city...she did it....

#MAN. MAN!#meg sent 'cerise can level up to level six' and i Burst into tears....#shout out to evacuation by emily axford shout out to sons & daughters by the decemberists shout out to with our trouble by gabrille papillio #i. we're OUT we SURVIVED!#who knows what the fuck is ahead for them but. they lived past this!!!!!#another situation that should have killed them and they LIVED past it!!!!!!#i. man. man. MAN!#i have all sorts of thoughts about this and also about how fucking upsetting her last exchanges with cami and auberon are but #i...they're OUT!#over a year and they're OUT!#cha:cerise #c:crop

really. feeling something about how at the point when cami and cerise had their first fight about cerise leaving the city, the "you don't get to pretend that this isn't your war" fight, cerise had dealt 85 damage in the campaign and camille had dealt 358.

#c:crop #cha:cerise #and ofc cami had been there longer but not THAT much longer #cami's 12 combats compared to 6 for cerise #and also ofc the damage tracking metric is not actually an accurate picture of combat usefulness in 5e #my lil spreadsheet does not account for cerise's counterspell keeping spirit guardians up a whole extra round or all the times sico's bardi #is what made someone hit or all the other ways that support actions affect the outcome of a combat #but even SO #it sure adds a dimension to cerise saying 'as if what i can do is going to make a difference against an army'#and to cami insisting that this is a war both of them need to fight #she sure is a knight! a warrior! she sure wasn't meant to be but has built herself into one!#she dealt 274 damage at rhest and the swore her oaths the next morning!#whereas cerise is at this point the only living character who's taken more damage than she's dealt #(something that I'm pretty sure will still be true when I've finished inputting the battles which. feeling REALLY 🚪about that!!!)#98 damage over the course of two battles in the two days preceding this conversation headinhands #and coming off the desperate loss that was three failed hold persons and a counterspelled counterspell against esme #even if cerise is *glad* by this point that esme lived that SURE was a sharp display of her own magic not being good enough #and two of those hold persons or the counterspell could have saved four lives.#so it's like. this whole source of conflict btw them *mostly* comes down to priorities where cerise places her and hers above everyone else #while camille is sworn to Everyone #and also to cerise's core fear motivation vs cami's idealism #but man if there isn't something to seeing all the numbers in comparison to what they both think their magic can do...#and i worry this post comes across as if im saying damage output is a good measure of combat usefulness. i KNOW it isn't. but especially in #a war game and especially in terms of how much you believe you can affect the survival of a city. its certainly SOMETHING

man i love crop....

#i know that everyone who's in a dnd game that they really love thinks that theirs is the best in the world but like #rip to the rest of you i'm the one who's actually correct about it #for some reason this post was prompted by. santiago.#i just think. man. ripple effects! the embellishments of the story and things that weren't strictly TRUE but #oh boy are they narratively true!#i like this game so much....i like all the people SO much....i like all the things to consider and angles to consider them from SO much....#c:crop

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