Loras had learnt a few things between returning home from the club last night and making the most rash decision of his life. He learnt that the walls of his room were easy enough to break holes in after several punches and that they left excellent bruises. He learnt that Renly had left the Mercenary soon after him, thanks to the infallible tabloids that had made the most of what they’d seen last night. He also learnt that he liked Renly Baratheon more than he’d ever liked anyone in his 20 years of living. Which was why he found himself driving to where he had been only hours before, in a much worse mood than he had been in then, despite every part of him screaming that this was a bad idea. Renly’s place was the last place he should be, he knew that seeing as they had parted on such bad terms and the fact that he was supposed to be at training an hour ago.
There were more important things to attend to. Loras had spent all night awake curled up in the middle of his bed alternating between sobbing, screaming (with no respect for Margaery a few rooms over), trying to convince himself it was okay to tell Renly he was gay and trying to figure out how he could possibly apologise for his despicable behaviour last night. He was afraid. Afraid of letting his secret go, afraid of Renly’s reaction, afraid that Renly might not forgive him, just afraid. He parked his car a way away from Renly’s, opting to walk up the street, hood and sunglasses on, so that he didn’t get spotted but thankfully there didn’t seem to be anyone around as he approached the house. Loras’ stomach twisted in his chest as he caught sight of it, and almost turned back. He had to fix this. He had to make this right, show the courage that had left him last night.
He imagined himself as one of the gallant knights from the stories Willas used to read to him as a kid, and managed to muster up enough courage to knock on the door. The knock was muffled by the sleeves of his jumper that had been pulled over his knuckles to hide the bruises but they were still clear. He didn’t even know if Renly would be home, let alone willing to open the door to him, but he had to try. Pulling down his hood and exposing his curls to the morning sun, Loras waited by the door, ready to step forward and take the leap of faith he needed to make to at least figure out what was going on here.