I will start this last blog of the year with a quote I red recently:
“ The only way that we can live is if we grow
The only way we can grow is if we change
The only way we can change is if we learn
The only way we can learn is if we are exposed
And the only way that we are exposed is if we throw ourselves into the open.”
~C. Joybell~
This year I spent 6 months in Italy, where I got more experience with jumping and horsemanship. I didn’t feel at home there. When people ask why I left I always give them the same answer. I love how the keep all their topsport horses, and the way they treat them as topathletes. For me with a background in academic art of riding and a scientific bachelor, how you train your horses is important. And no, I don’t have a problem with how they jump their horses, those horses know what their job is without being afraid, because when you jump, the most important thing is trust. Confidence that your horse knows his job and you are capable of letting him do it. The horse trusts you that you trust him to let him do his job (Luca Moneta). It is one of the most important things I learned there. I left for another reason. Because of my background I learned a lot about biomechanics. Something that is scientific, measurable. Dressage is made to let the horse use his body better. I felt like I had to ride horses in a way that I know is not the right way. And doing something in a way that you know is not right just doesn’t feel right. Especially when you know how to do it different. It is like doing something in a bad way while you already know how to do it in a better way. So I came to make the decision not to finish my year there.
So I had another decision in front of me. What do I do next? Do I go back to Belgium to my old life. I look for a job and next to that I go back to teaching a little and going back to the job I left behind. A job that gave me the opportunity of working with amazing talented horses, with people that bred my own horse and took care of her the past half year. Or do I keep learning? Well as all of you know, I choose the second option. I kept on travelling. So my next stop was Denmark. Where I met Maria. She gave me a home away from home. She gave me a lot of new inside. I learned more about biomechanics and academics. I got to train a lot of different breeds of horses. And my toolbox grew a lot. Denmark was just perfect. I was sad that I had to leave. And if I wouldn’t have gone to Sweden I would’ve ended up there at the end of the year. In that little piece of heaven that she owns.
So with the clinic of Noora Enhqvist in sight, I left Denmark at the end of September. After that I would stay and be the first working student of my friend Leonie. I wouldn’t focus on horses, but on myself and my development. And who better to help me than such an amazing person like Leonie. She has a thing with people, she is good at seeing right through you. So she saw me as I didn’t even see myself. I have three months behind me. Months with lots of laughter, frustration, annoyance and so much more. I learned that introverting is a verb. That it is a necessary thing to do when you are an introvert and living with people who understand the need is just awesome. And I learned that I was one. And it doesn’t mean that you can’t be outgoing. If you want to know more about it, just use the internet. Everybody knows that google knows everything. I learned a lot more about my personality type (we used the myer briggs personality guide). I saw better how I function as a person and how I do function in a group. I couldn’t have grown this much without the right help and pushes from Leonie. She is just amazing and on the road to reach an even higher level of amawingness. You are a part of my family now! Never doubt yourself even when it is hard. You are perfect just the way you are.
In Sweden I met a Christmas crazy person. Mikaela. Without her, Sweden would not have been the same. I wouldn’t know how to find Orion in the sky, or wouldn’t have seen so many shooting stars (our record is 13 in a night). We wouldn’t have wondered what happens to the moon when you can’t see it. And no google for once didn’t know the answer. So still a mystery there. Mikaela was as well a perfect personality match in theory and as well as in real life. So when she left for her christmas holiday, it was hard for both of us. But we had one last perfect week together. We had our record starnight, we had a night in the shovel of the tractor in the middle of the field, we went to a restaurant, had a last time risotto together and a last time mudcake together. It was a perfect week. A good close of my time in Sweden. See you soon again Micky! Never forget that you are awesome too!
I cannot thank enough all the people who made this year so special. I might have named a few above, but there are many more. Like Tamara, who I met in Italy and I will meet again in Belgium in January. A friendship that just blossomed even though we talked more on the phone then in real life. She is as well one special one. And I missed a lot more, many special new friends. A lot of old friends still here. Friendships that grow stronger and some that got lost to distance. And an awesome end of the year to come with some real special friends.
Happiness
More or less
It’s just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh my, my
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
watch my fever growing
I know just where I am
What if you could pick one day of your life, and everything would stop changing, every day would be similar and comparable to that one day, you'd always have the same people with you? If you could do that, would you do it? Would you pick that day and make that choice?
We crave for things to stop changing, we wish that things would never change. But if we got what we wanted, there are so many things that are better, that we would never, ever know about. Sure, things would stay the same as that one wonderful day, but then there would be nothing else out there, ever.
So can you remember the very first day when everything really did begin to change? Is there a thing that can remind you? Mine is a blue rose, and that's when everything began to change because that's the day I began to believe in things I never believed in before; the day I found three blue roses. Think about your first day of change, can you remember all the new heights you've soared since that day? All the new people? All the better things and times? Would you throw all of that time away?
I wouldn't. Instead, I want to finally accept all the things that I couldn't change, which led to me being right here, right now. Maybe we all carry around inside us one day we wish we could keep forever, something we wished never did change. It's time to let go of that day, and soar.
