#c00lestkidd talks

[c00lest-kidd]

Based on a conversation I had with @thespawnsvessel! I also totally did not struggle to draw their hair. Nope! Not at all....

[c00lest-kidd]

Working while heavily fronting (cant remember if this is the right terminology) as c00lkidd is funny. Cause why the hell c00lkidd working at a fast food place, and im not even destroying anything!!

Would've been funnier if i worked at a pizza place but alas

[c00lest-kidd]

Hihi!!! I'm a C00lkidd fictionkin!! I really just want rant and talk about me and some stuff!! Maybe make some art :P

Im okay with doubles reaching out and anyone from my source!! I dont have any ill will against anyone and I think its just cool to meet so many people hehe. (psst i'm also okay if your not from my source yet still wanna reach out!)

Also my asks and my dms are open!! Go wild

#c00lestkidd talks is where you'll find all my rambles about my kin

i'll create more tags as I think of them!!

Main blog is @rufftrys

[c00lest-kidd]

Vent about Kin dysphoria underneath.

Dont look if it makes you feel icky

Dude I need someone to shoot dysphoria, i feel so sick everytime i feel flesh rather then my fur or move my hands and get suprised by how light they feel without my claws. Or even making room for the horns on my head only to remember they aren't there.

At least with gender dysphoria I can be comforted by the fact im saving up money for surgery

WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT KIN DYSPHORIA??! Atleast for my more human one I just died my hair pink and started wearing my beanie (felt so good...)

BUT I CANT JUST SPONTANEOUSLY GROW FUR, HORNS AND MY CLAWS??

Im already dealing with bad phantom pain I do NOT need this extra dysphoria on top

[c00lest-kidd]

So erm new update huh

I dont know how I somehow got caught in the crossfire for an azure update but I did.

Still trying to get more info on mine and dad's new ms skins but aha things ain't looking great

[c00lest-kidd]

What is/are your source(s)?

Well the main one that'll be referenced in this blog is forsaken! C00lkidd specifically!! He was my first kin as well as being the kin i have the most memories of and the one I shift to the most!

Otherwise my sources are daganronpa (kazuichi), utmv (unknown but I know im not ink or any of the bad sans as I have memories interacting with them), and then a few other sources where the memory was too vague for me to even try to narrow down who I might be

C00lkidd and kazuichi will be the kins I talk about the most due to having the most memories as them and not just some vauge memory that gives me nothing

[c00lest-kidd]

Writing fanfics about people you know is weird.

Most of the time it's just me writing based on kin mems or a what if this had happened but still relatively close to kinmems.

But then theres times like recently where I made a vampire au due to a prompt.

My canon is nothing like this vampire au. Hell the me in this au would never even meet Uncle Noli and has a dad that dosent have to work a ton of jobs to stay stable. I even wrote about people I dont even interact with a lot in my canon. In the vampire one I wrote about Mx Two Time since that was the prompt but ive also written about soldier boy before and even noob and birdy!

I have no idea how they'd actually act so I just kind of make it up, but it feels so weird since I have vivid memories of them. These aren't like my other fanfics were theyre just fictional characters to me, these are people I have memories of, people who have bled and cried and run.

And now im just writing them as if they were fictional?? I'll likely never stop doing so, like even as im complaining about how weird it is im figuring out how to finish the vampire fic. But its just such a weird feeling that I cant put into words.

I only hope that if I ever find my canon mates and they see the ones I wrote based off kinmems they don't just see horrible writing, now that would suck >:(

[c00lest-kidd]

Its kind of nice how things from past lives slot in really nicely to my current life and explain a lot of things.

For instance when I was experimenting with hair color I used leftover pink dye from a friend and really enjoyed it even though I hated the color pink. A few months later I got my first memory as kaz (has pink hair the exact shade I dyed it)

Im saying this cause for my entire life I've had an irrational fear of fire. I always loved it, liked to burn small things like paper or cardboard. Yet I could never fully relax around it because I was always slightly terrified.

I mean in my memories I set Mr elliots place on fire with my friends that one time (and many other things-) I always thought my intrest of fire came from my life as C00lkidd while my fear was just irrational but nope!

suprise suprise I got a memory that would explain why I'm so afraid of fire (honestly just thinking of it makes me queasy..) and its also from my life as c00lkidd! A bit ironic tho that both my fear and intrest of fire originates from the same kin