#c4st0ut

[recovering-happens]

It really does hurt. Like how i miss you so much and you most likely don't even think about me. Like the realisation, actually kills, and i feel that exact feeling i did when you first left, and i re-live that feeling so much that i'm getting used to it. i wish things were different, i dont know what i did, but i have to blame myself for you leaving, its obviously me. im so sorry i couldnt be a better friend, something you wanted, and needed. And you know the worst part? The most annoying thing? I still care, but even worse than that, i always will.

[recovering-happens]

I actually make my life harder. Going out and trying to smile and be happy, is a very hard thing to do. People ask me how i am, and i dont go into detail on what im feeling 'yeah im good thanks' they always seem to believe it? I laugh and people generally think i am a happy person. But behind that smile, behind my eyes, is a girl who cries everynight. A girl who is trying to escape the evils of cutting. A girl who is doing everything not to kill herself. But no, people dont see this..I wouldnt want them to know this. But then..who is going to stop me?

[recovering-happens]

like im seriously freaking out i posted a picture of my self harm like a month ago and i keep getting the 'so and so reblogged your photo' and i click on it and im like triggered as hell its such a bad memory :( gonna be using my new tumblr

[recovering-happens]

i can do this...i can..i will..and i will get better. i want to look back and know i made it through..i have barely any fight in me left, but i think im going to make one big leap and just..go for it, with everything i have.

[recovering-happens]