#ca11

[jonathanswiftwiththeproposa-blog]

I PROFESS,

in the Sincerity of my Heart, that I have not the least personal Interest, in endeavoring to promote this necessary Work; having no other Motive than the public Good of my Country, by advancing our Economy, providing Hope for Cure of Brain Diseases, relieving the Poor and Unemployed, and giving some Pleasure to those who have so long already used their Brains. 

[jonathanswiftwiththeproposa-blog]

BUT, as to myself;

having been exhausted for many Years with offering vain, idle, visionary Thoughts; and at length utterly despairing of Success, I fortunately fell upon this Proposal; which, although wholly new and rather unconventional, so it has something solid and real, of no Expense but rather only Benefits, and little Trouble, full in our own Power, as all of our Brains have yet to be infiltrated by reality T.V scum.

AFTER all, I am not so violently bent upon my own Opinion, as to reject any Offer proposed by wise Men and Women, which shall be found equally innocent, cheap, easy and effectual. I am more than willing to meet and Brainstorm together.

[jonathanswiftwiththeproposa-blog]

I HAVE

too long digressed; and therefore shall return to my Subject. I think the Advantages by the Proposal which I have made, are obvious, and many, as well as of the highest Importance.

FOR, First, as I have already observed, it would greatly lessen the Number of Good-For-Nothings; being the principal Breeders of the Nation, as well as our most dangerous Enemies; and who stay at home on Purpose to watch their beloved reality T.V.; No longer will these pop culture obsessed fools be able to  pollute their neighbors, nor contaminate future generations, as the opportunity for reproduction is no longer their reality. We promote the survival only of the astute in America, from this moment onward.

SECONDLY, The poor, those unemployed due to job cuts, and any others in this realm that are not in the position to succeed but yearn for the opportunity, will be given just that. Poverty will be a thing of the past, the economy will flourish as jobs will be rid of lethargic, complacent workers and filled with revitalized doers who are ready to learn and make a change.

THIRDLY, Our nation will also advance on the medical front, having access to an abundance of misused brains to test and experiment with in efforts to creating cures for the brain diseases and conditions that exist.

FOURTHLY, Appearance and popularity will no longer be America’s core values as instilled by Modern Media and reality T.V. stars; self-image and self-worth will be at an all time high, as a person’s value and moral standing can only be measured by their social awareness, and activeness in bettering their community.

FIFTHLY, This Food could likewise bring great Custom to Restaurants if implemented as a meal to be purchased, although at this time I only propose it be given freely, only to those who are deserving.

SIXTHLY, This would be a great Inducement to Our Posterity, as the benefits in which are reaped from our own consuming of the brain will then be amplified through the breeding process with a partner who has also received the benefits of Brain food; thus, our offspring will be born intellectually gifted.

[jonathanswiftwiththeproposa-blog]

Case Specifics

For brains that have been so severely misused and will only serve detrimental if offered to be consumed, they will be utilized by Neurologists in studies for curing brain diseases and conditions such as Cancer, Alzheimers, Schizophrenia, etc.

[jonathanswiftwiththeproposa-blog]

Terms and Conditions

Those who were not given the privilege of education, and/or who are currently homeless by circumstance will not be punished, but permitted with the opportunity to consume the brain of those who took theirs for granted. This will be done in efforts to rehabilitate the individual and provide them the opportunity they desire to succeed as Americans. 

Age does not restrict anyone from being contestants for Brain Donation; young or old, if you have failed to employ your brain as a servant for solving society’s problems and have zero intention to disengage with the filth that is reality television, there is no longer space for you in the world.

[jonathanswiftwiththeproposa-blog]

Never received the privilege of an education? Unemployed? Homeless by circumstance and wanting to get back on your feet as a contributing member of society? Not to worry! We’ve got a brain for you!

[jonathanswiftwiththeproposa-blog]

RECIPIENTS

of this Brain Food range from all ages, whether in the early walks of life or the final ones; because of their ability to reason and their conscious choice to be educated rather than merely entertained, they will be rewarded with an extra brain. 

I GRANT this Food will be somewhat dear; a monumental moment for the individual as they are gifted not just a delicious meal, but further opportunity for free thinking and innovation, all the more means as ambassadors for political and social change.

[jonathanswiftwiththeproposa-blog]

I DO 

therefore humbly offer to public Consideration, that of these billions of reality T.V. loyalists, those who fail to see the degradation of their morality and corruption of Modern Media volunteer themselves, their brain specifically, though they will not be given a choice in their participation. They will be stripped of their unworthy status as members of society, relocated to the Brain and Mind Research Facilities that we have spread throughout the country, and will have their brains permanently removed from their skull, their heads just as hollow as they were before.

What we will then do with their brain is feed it to people who wish to make a difference in society, those who have not been polluted or diverted by Modern media in the form of reality T.V., those who seek to use this extra brain power to end the political and social injustices that are subliminally promoted through the support of reality t.v.