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@jonathanswiftwiththeproposa-blog
I PROFESS,
in the Sincerity of my Heart, that I have not the least personal Interest, in endeavoring to promote this necessary Work; having no other Motive than the public Good of my Country, by advancing our Economy, providing Hope for Cure of Brain Diseases, relieving the Poor and Unemployed, and giving some Pleasure to those who have so long already used their Brains.
BUT, as to myself;
having been exhausted for many Years with offering vain, idle, visionary Thoughts; and at length utterly despairing of Success, I fortunately fell upon this Proposal; which, although wholly new and rather unconventional, so it has something solid and real, of no Expense but rather only Benefits, and little Trouble, full in our own Power, as all of our Brains have yet to be infiltrated by reality T.V scum.
AFTER all, I am not so violently bent upon my own Opinion, as to reject any Offer proposed by wise Men and Women, which shall be found equally innocent, cheap, easy and effectual. I am more than willing to meet and Brainstorm together.
I HAVE
too long digressed; and therefore shall return to my Subject. I think the Advantages by the Proposal which I have made, are obvious, and many, as well as of the highest Importance.
FOR, First, as I have already observed, it would greatly lessen the Number of Good-For-Nothings; being the principal Breeders of the Nation, as well as our most dangerous Enemies; and who stay at home on Purpose to watch their beloved reality T.V.; No longer will these pop culture obsessed fools be able to pollute their neighbors, nor contaminate future generations, as the opportunity for reproduction is no longer their reality. We promote the survival only of the astute in America, from this moment onward.
SECONDLY, The poor, those unemployed due to job cuts, and any others in this realm that are not in the position to succeed but yearn for the opportunity, will be given just that. Poverty will be a thing of the past, the economy will flourish as jobs will be rid of lethargic, complacent workers and filled with revitalized doers who are ready to learn and make a change.
THIRDLY, Our nation will also advance on the medical front, having access to an abundance of misused brains to test and experiment with in efforts to creating cures for the brain diseases and conditions that exist.
FOURTHLY, Appearance and popularity will no longer be America’s core values as instilled by Modern Media and reality T.V. stars; self-image and self-worth will be at an all time high, as a person’s value and moral standing can only be measured by their social awareness, and activeness in bettering their community.
FIFTHLY, This Food could likewise bring great Custom to Restaurants if implemented as a meal to be purchased, although at this time I only propose it be given freely, only to those who are deserving.
SIXTHLY, This would be a great Inducement to Our Posterity, as the benefits in which are reaped from our own consuming of the brain will then be amplified through the breeding process with a partner who has also received the benefits of Brain food; thus, our offspring will be born intellectually gifted.
Case Specifics
For brains that have been so severely misused and will only serve detrimental if offered to be consumed, they will be utilized by Neurologists in studies for curing brain diseases and conditions such as Cancer, Alzheimers, Schizophrenia, etc.
Terms and Conditions
Those who were not given the privilege of education, and/or who are currently homeless by circumstance will not be punished, but permitted with the opportunity to consume the brain of those who took theirs for granted. This will be done in efforts to rehabilitate the individual and provide them the opportunity they desire to succeed as Americans.
Age does not restrict anyone from being contestants for Brain Donation; young or old, if you have failed to employ your brain as a servant for solving society’s problems and have zero intention to disengage with the filth that is reality television, there is no longer space for you in the world.
Never received the privilege of an education? Unemployed? Homeless by circumstance and wanting to get back on your feet as a contributing member of society? Not to worry! We’ve got a brain for you!
RECIPIENTS
of this Brain Food range from all ages, whether in the early walks of life or the final ones; because of their ability to reason and their conscious choice to be educated rather than merely entertained, they will be rewarded with an extra brain.
I GRANT this Food will be somewhat dear; a monumental moment for the individual as they are gifted not just a delicious meal, but further opportunity for free thinking and innovation, all the more means as ambassadors for political and social change.
I DO
therefore humbly offer to public Consideration, that of these billions of reality T.V. loyalists, those who fail to see the degradation of their morality and corruption of Modern Media volunteer themselves, their brain specifically, though they will not be given a choice in their participation. They will be stripped of their unworthy status as members of society, relocated to the Brain and Mind Research Facilities that we have spread throughout the country, and will have their brains permanently removed from their skull, their heads just as hollow as they were before.
What we will then do with their brain is feed it to people who wish to make a difference in society, those who have not been polluted or diverted by Modern media in the form of reality T.V., those who seek to use this extra brain power to end the political and social injustices that are subliminally promoted through the support of reality t.v.
I HAVE
been assured by a world-renown American Neurologist; that a person’s brain who has watched at least one episode of reality T.V. on four of the seven nights of the week is no longer fully functioning and lacks the capacity to not only think deeply, but act freely. They have become desensitized to real world problems such as discrimination, homelessness, substance abuse, healthcare, the education system and political freedom. They have become fetishized with drama and gossip, popularity and social recognition, sexuality and self-image. This mental state of Stagnancy no longer has a place in our Country.
Children watching the newest episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
I SHALL
now therefore humbly propose my own Thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least Objection.
FOR Those
who are unfamiliar with channels straying from the realm of reality T.V., for those who avidly tune in every Monday night for a new episode, for those deterred to act against the political, social and economical issues of our country due to the obliviousness endorsed by reality T.V., for those who are not willing to cease the dumbing down of our nation by not supporting Modern Media, you are Our Problem and Our Solution.
THERE
is likewise another great Advantage in my Scheme, that it will prevent those student drop out rates, and that horrid Practice of Quitting one’s job and becoming a Couch Potato; the fried and hollow Brains of those who have devoted their now meaningless lives to maintaining the ratings of false-reality T.V. will alas serve a greater purpose.
AS to my own Part,
having turned my Thoughts for many Years, upon this important Subject; and maturely weighed the several Schemes of other Projectors, I have always found them grossly lacking in innovation and effectiveness. It is true, a Person comes home to relax and watch television in the comfort of their home as that is what Cable T.V. is for, but that does not mean we as a nation should continue to support reality T.V. channels; at most not above the allotted time period of 3 hours of T.V. viewing and only if engaged in CNN, National Geographic, History, World, Science and other news/educational channels; which the Viewers may certainly receive entertainment as well as education in watching the current events and state of affairs of our country from the news in which is deprived of in reality television. And, it is exactly at one Moment, when they flip the channel to Jersey Shore, or Dancing with the Stars, or Survivor, that I propose to provide for them in such a Manner, as instead of being a Charge upon their Family, or their Friends, or wanting Cable T.V. and their couch to rot their brain and render them burdens to society; they shall, on the contrary, contribute to the Feeding, and partly to the Testing, of many Billions.
BUT my Intention
is very far from being confined to providing a solution only for the Intellectually Inferior professed Beggars of Reality T.V.: It is of much greater Extent and shall make use of the whole Number of binge-watchers to do much greater for All of Society.
I THINK
it is agreed by all Parties, that this prodigious Number of Manipulated Viewers, with their Arms comfortably crossed, or their Backs against the couch, or their responsibilities at their Heels, is in the present deplorable State of the Country, a very great additional Grievance; and therefore I have found a fair, cheap, and easy Method of making these Reality T.V. Junkies sound and useful Members of the Commonwealth.
IT is a shameful Sight
to those, who walk through this great City of Los Angeles, or travel in the Country for the first time; when they see the Streets, the Roads, the Malls infiltrated with people living in a pop culture stupor, where conversations consist solely of the latest cheating scandals, fan-favorites being voted off, or recaps of last night’s drama-filled episode. The lack of discussion not of the controversies that exist within reality T.V., but the ones that we endure daily living in our own country calls for an immediate and impactful change. Male and Female Beggars for reality T.V. idiocy plop down on their couches, followed by three, four, or six others, slothfully waiting each week to be frenzied by the release of a new episode.
These Reality T.V. Diehards, instead of being able to work for their honest Livelihood as contributing members of society and activists for change, are entrapped by the manufactured modern media to invest all their Time in obsessing over a false reality projected by reality T.V., disconnecting themselves from the world and all of its real life problems.