I just had a revelation about humans ingesting caffeine. We don't really think of caffeine as posion, but it is, and i've just experienced it first hand. This morning, I was in class when I decided to chug my bottle of now cold coffee. Like, 16 ounces of light coffee. And I think that because my stomach was completely empty, it absorbed into my body almost immediately.
Suddenly, I began to shake, my mouth began to water, and I almost threw up in the middle of my teacher's lecture.
I left and went to the restroom to THEN dry heave for the next several minutes, half an hour later i'm still super shaky and wired.
I just find it so odd that people hundreds and hundreds of years ago probably had a reaction similar to this, and instead of just avoiding the seemly poisonous plant, they decided to cultivate it to make the effect stronger and integrate it to their culture.
Kinda just shows how unbelievable humans are that our first instinct when encountering a new plant or berry is to stick in our mouths and see how it tastes.
“It's two in the morning. What are you still doing up?”
You startled at the sound of Connor’s voice having not heard him come home. “Holy shit, make some noise when you come in.”
He chuckled. “I thought you'd be asleep and I was trying not to wake you.”
You glanced at the clock then not having realized how late it'd gotten. “Oh, right. Well I have to finish this proposal anyway and I wasn't tired.” You lift your mug and drain the remaining coffee. Setting it back down, you press your thumb into your temple and rub your forehead to relieve the growing headache.
Connor stood silently watching you. As you reached for your keyboard he saw your hands shake. “How much coffee have you had?”
“Um, a pot… or maybe two?”
His eyes widened before he made his way over and knelt beside you. He took your hand and pressed his fingers into your pulse as he looked at his watch. He shook his head before he locked eyes with you. “126 and irregular. Sweetheart, you have to be careful with that much caffeine.”
“Oops,” you shrugged, giving him a guilty smile.
“Come on,” he requested, offering you his hand.
You took the offered hand and stood. As you did, the world spun slightly and you gripped his hand harder. He wrapped an arm around you and gently leaned you into his chest. “Okay, maybe I don't feel so good.”
“Dizzy?” he asked.
You took a deep breath trying to settle the feeling. “Yeah, and maybe a bit nauseous.”
“Alright. Let's go sit on the couch.” He slowly led you out of the office and settled you onto the couch. “Try some slow, deep breaths and just relax.”
A few minutes later, he came back with a tray. He set it on the table and handed you a glass of water. “Drink some of that first.”
You saluted before taking the glass. “Yes, sir.” He pulled his stethoscope from around his neck that you hadn't noticed. “Where did you get that?”
He raised an eyebrow at you. “The entry table where it sits with my keys and wallet.”
You rolled your eyes. “I know that. I meant when and why?”
“While I was boiling water for oatmeal and because your heart is still racing and I need to keep an eye on that,” he explained.
“How do you know that from over there?” you asked. “Are you psychic now? Or maybe you have x-ray vision.”
He chuckled. “Well, for one,” he traced his fingers softly down your neck until you could feel your pulse beat against his fingers, “I can see your pulse in your neck here. And for two, I know that much caffeine doesn't wear off in ten minutes.”
“You know, you make my heart race like this, too. You don't worry about it then,” you tease.
“That's very different, smart-ass. Now will you drink that, please.” He nodded to the water in your hand.
“Okay, okay.” You sipped the water as he placed the tips in his ears and the diaphragm on your chest. You tried not to squirm under his attention.
He looped the stethoscope back around his neck. “Still way too fast and skippy. You do know it's possible to OD on caffeine, right?”
“I didn't mean to drink so much. I was on auto-pilot working on that stupid proposal.”
“It's okay. You just need to eat and hydrate a lot and it'll be okay.” He leaned in and kissed your forehead. “Oatmeal or banana first?”
“Oatmeal, please.”
He leaned forward to grab the bowl and handed it to you. “Here you go. What are we binging?”
“Hmm, how about House?” He just glared at you and you laughed. “Grey’s Anatomy?”
“That's worse. Why are you trying to torture me?”
You snorted a laugh. “I was just kidding. How about Suits?”
“Deal.” He turned on the TV and started an episode. “I need you to finish that water before this episode is over.”
Half an hour later, you'd finished eating and emptied the glass. “Pause, please,” you asked.
“You can keep watching. I'll get you more water,” he offered, already moving to stand.
“And I'll let you.” You handed him your glass. “But we still need to pause. I have to pee.”
“Oh, right.” He offered you a hand and pulled you up from the couch. “Still dizzy?”
“Uh, a little but not too bad. I can make it there on my own.”
He nodded once, looking as if he was contemplating your answer. “Okay. Shout if you need me. Otherwise, I'll meet you back here.” He squeezed your hand softly before releasing you.
As you headed back to the couch, Connor popped his head out of the kitchen. “How's your head? Do you need some Tylenol?”
“Um, it's better than earlier. I think I'll be okay for now.”
A minute later, he was settling beside you on the couch once again. He handed you a tumbler with a lid and straw and then pulled you against him and kissed the top of your head. Next, he took your wrist in his hand again and lifted his other arm off your shoulder to glance at his watch. “A little better. Down to 116. Still way too fast but at least it's not so skippy anymore.”
You gave him a thumbs up and then snatched the remote to press play.
By the time you finished the new cup of water, you were yawning and starting to doze off. “I thought coffee kept you awake longer than this.”
“It's not as effective when you've built up a tolerance. Let's go try to get some sleep.”
You snuggled in tighter against him. “But I'm comfy.”
He chuckled and stood, lifting you easily into a bridal carry. “You can be more comfy in the bed.” He set you down in the threshold of the bathroom.
You pouted. “This isn't the bed.”
“I'm sure you want to go before bed and brush your teeth,” he justified.
Both of you made quick work of getting ready for bed. When you finished you leaned your chin on his sternum and glanced up at him.
“You want me to carry you?”
You just smiled and nodded. He bent and lifted you again. You sighed contentedly and closed your eyes as he walked. When he set you on the bed you whined. He sat down in the bed beside you.
As he grabbed his stethoscope, you rolled your eyes. “I'm fine.”
“You basically just gave yourself a caffeine induced stress test. Forgive me for wanting to make sure you're okay..” He listened to your heart and checked your pulse once more before he moved to lay in his spot.
He pulled you over and you settled against him. He kissed the top of your head. “Good night. I love you,”
You squeezed him and hummed contentedly. “Love you.” You quickly dozed off.
After a fitful night of sleep, filled with a lot of tossing and turning, you woke to Connor cuddled beside you with his head on your chest. You ran your fingers through his hair lazily.
“Morning,” he greeted.
“Are you doing what I think you're doing?”
“Probably. If you think I'm listening then you'd be correct.”
“Babe,” you started, pulling his head up so he could turn to look at you. “I swear I'm okay. I slept like shit, but I feel fine. I promise.”
He hugged you tightly. “I'm sorry. You freaked me out a little. If I hadn't come home when I did, you might have made a third pot. You could have gotten really sick.”
“But you did. And I didn't get super sick. I'm good. I could use a cup of coffee though.”
“No,” he whipped his head up glaring at you. “No caffeine for at least three days.”
“How am I supposed to function at work?”
“B vitamins might help,” he suggested. “You can take a supplement. Or, my preference, you could take a day or two off work and take it easy.”
You laughed. “Oh, yeah. I can just imagine how that call would go… ‘I need a couple days off because I drank too much coffee’. I'm pretty sure I'd get laughed at and then maybe even fired.”
“I can call. I can just tell them you have food poisoning,” he offered. “That's barely even a lie.”
You pried yourself from his hold. “I think I'll be fine.” You pushed to stand and the world spun a little and nausea flared. You sank back to sitting and closed your eyes for a moment. “Okay, maybe one day wouldn't be a bad thing.”
He rounded the bed and kissed your forehead before snatching your phone off the nightstand. “Just lay back down and relax. I'll call your boss and then I'll make you some eggs and bacon. The protein should help.”
“Thank you.” Flopping back down into your pillow, he pulled the covers up to your shoulder. “Love you.”
“I love you too, pretty girl. I'll be back in a few.”
holy fuck so there's this kids friendly coffee shop where I live (they have an indoor playground and everything) and they sell something called "The Coffee that Wakes You Up" and it's 4 espressos and an americano in a large glass and its all the parents favorite drink and let me tell you. It does. Wake. You. The. Fuck. Up.
At a campaign rally in New Hampshire, Trump inserted Haley into one of his made-up stories about January 6.
Donald Trump doesn't know the difference between Nikki Haley and Nancy Pelosi.
Quick, call the dementia wagon! 🚐
Perhaps Trump could use galloping senility to his advantage to prove he's unfit to stand trial on those 91 counts. 🤔
Trump drinks 12 cans of Diet Coke® per day. That could be camouflaging his decline.
President Trump Reportedly Drinks 12 Diet Cokes a Day. Here’s What That Does to Your Body
The FDA recommends that healthy adults consume no more than 400 milligrams of caffeine per day. 12 Diet Cokes contain 552 milligrams.
The FDA lists these symptoms of over-consumption of caffeine:
People may see Trump's incoherent rants and conclude that he isn't demented because he's so animated. But all that flailing and blustering could be the result of excessive caffeine rather than personal energy.
