With all of the love and acceptance in my heart for the meimeis in the fandom, I’m just a little… burned out by the trope. Pseudocest hasn’t ever been my thing, but I do my best to always practice open mindedness in fandom and fantasy contexts.
It’s been lovely to dive into Caleb lore and fanfic, and as life works in cycles I’ll probably find myself drawn back into his world, perhaps for his next banner, I dunno.
But his myth really tired me out. Again, without any judgement to those that absolutely thrived and are thriving with the uncensored taboo themes present in that story— it’s just… it doesn’t feel good anymore.
What drew me to Caleb was the complexity of his character. His light and his darkness. His protectiveness and how it manifests in both justice and obsession. The tender candor and the serpentine ice of his voice. My god, his voice. That dorky, endearing sound. The aching sweetness he’s demonstrated time and again. And the secrets. The complicated package that is Caleb Xia has been such a delight to unpack.
But the international take on the gege/meimei dynamic just doesn’t… it feels like those of us who didn’t grow up steeped in Chinese culture are getting something wrong with that dynamic. Or maybe rather than something wrong, we aren’t grasping the depth or scope or nuance of such a dynamic. Angel’s Corner on YT explains it very well, as does the streamer Naytdoggo, both of whom are Chinese. It’s not my culture so I don’t feel comfortable explaining it, but I’m sure a google/ai inquiry will answer any questions on the terms. What I mean to say with all of that is that Caleb being a “gege” is much more than a kink, and while i respect the kink it’s just draining to be in. I don’t feel good reading fanfic about him if it has the pseudocest trope, and especially not if it’s paired with explicit content. Deep, intimate childhood friends who are as close as family is better for me.
I’m just a little tired. Wanted to share my feelings in my tiny corner of the internet.