Double-Shot of Poison (Caleb)
FANDOM: Love and Deepspace
PAIRING: Caleb/Non-MC Reader/MC
RATING: T
WARNING(S): Pining, CalebMC’s canonical complicated relationship, requited feelings, mild jealousy, mild angst, brief alcohol use mention
Notes: This was the second one I wrote, lmao. I actually wrote it in tandem with in the garden. So if you see similar themes as in that one, that’s why.
Taglist: @kingraspberry12-blog @babygirl-panda19 @young-adult-summer
You’d been in love with Caleb for as long as you could remember.
When you were young, it began as an innocent, girlhood crush - he was older and more knowledgeable than you and MC, and his smile gave you butterflies. As you grew older, it deepened, matured, until you spent many afternoons daydreaming, fantasizing about a future together.
But by the time you got into high school, you knew better than to act on your feelings.
Caleb was deep in love with your best friend, MC. The girl you’d spent your entire childhood with, the girl you knew as keenly as your own family. You practically were at this point, and Granny Josephine, despite how wary she was of you at first, grew warm to you. You spent so much time at their house that it felt like your own. And with so much time spent with them came a keen understanding of your place in their lives.
MC adored you. You were her best friend, family in all but blood. And Caleb… Caleb saw you as her friend, someone to play with and help study, but never more than that. He would never see you in the way you caught him looking at her, and while it stung, you soon grew to accept it. He was kind to you, he made you laugh, he invited you to hang out with them sometimes, and he helped you with problems, but that was the extent of it.
So when you all became adults and went your separate ways, you thought that was that. Caleb achieved his dream of becoming a pilot, MC achieved her dream of becoming a hunter, and you put your degree to good use and got a well-paying job in your field of study. You stayed friends, but you grew apart. You were content with your life.
And then Granny and Caleb died. And MC was left alone.
Within 24 hours, you were the only strong tether she had left to your happy childhood together. She still had Zayne, but the bond she had with you was far deeper than that with the surgeon. She began to lean on the two of you (well, mostly you) for months after the explosion that reduced her former life to rubble.
Slowly, you clawed your way back to relative normalcy. MC grieved, and she healed - and soon she was able to stand on her own two feet. She’d always had an uncanny ability to bounce back from tragedy, and while you were still privately grieving the loss of your first love, she was investigating their murder.
And when you finally came back to yourself, when you accepted that Caleb was gone… he came back. And he turned your world upside-down yet again.
Those latent feelings resurfaced the more you saw him again, troublesome and nagging. There was something markedly different about him, something darker, something regretful, but the shadows that clung to his heels only intrigued you more. He was nicer now, in much the same way he was nice to MC. He offered you leftovers when she didn’t want them, took stuff off of your plate out of habit when he knew you didn’t like it, laughed with you two about fond memories from before. Sometimes he looked at you and you weren’t sure if you were imagining the fondness in those twilight eyes. It felt like the way he looked at MC when you were children.
That’s when you realized you had to pump the brakes. This was becoming an issue.
As much as you still loved him, your heart ached. You knew MC had always had a stronger bond with Caleb, and you knew full well that the depth of his feelings made yours look shallow in comparison. You knew there was no way he would ever be with you the way he now acted more boldly with her - and you didn’t want to let your feelings lead you down a path you would regret.
He wasn’t your friend. He was something more. Something you didn’t want to admit. And you didn’t want to live your life yearning after him when all he wanted out of you was camaraderie. You didn’t want to lose your oldest friends because of something you couldn’t stop.
—————
“You’ve been ignoring us,” MC pointed out with a frown.
It was a Friday night, and MC had invited you over to her apartment for dinner and drinks. She hadn’t mentioned that Caleb would be there, so you dressed more casually than you would have otherwise - and your heart nearly leapt out of your chest when you saw him turn and greet you from where he was stirring something on the stove, his smile making your stomach do flips.
Luckily you brought a cardigan, so you tugged it over your tank top as you sat down for dinner. Of course it was delicious; Caleb was the best cook you’d ever met, and you soon forgot all about your nerves as you ate. You hadn’t known just how hungry you were until the first bite hit your tongue, and Caleb chuckled as they watched you dig in. It was only when you sat down with a glass of something sweet and fizzy after dinner that you remembered what you were going to say.
Caleb had set down a platter of snacks - chips, cheese, meats, sliced fruits - and looked at you with the same sort of anticipation that she did.
You heaved a quiet sigh. “Not on purpose,” you reassured them. “It’s just been a really long couple of weeks.”
It really had been long. You’d gotten a promotion in a city five hours from Linkon, and it had been a mad scramble to get a new apartment, close out the lease on your current one, put in your notice at work, and get a new postal box. At first, you wanted to decline - all of your friends and quite a few family members were in Linkon - but then you realized that this was your chance to finally let go of the past and live comfortably. Your aunt and uncle helped you with the apartment hunt (despite being offered a room at their house, you really wanted to live on your own) and had been quite helpful getting everything sorted.
You’d been so busy, you’d hardly had the time to keep up with either of them. But it wasn’t like they were eager to talk to you either. Caleb never texted, and MC had recently had a rough few days of work, and so your texts had been pretty quiet.
“Busy at work?” She guessed.
“You could say that.” You shrugged, putting a piece of cheese on a cracker. “I’m moving soon, so I’ve been getting ready.”
Both of them froze.
“You’re moving?” Caleb was the one to speak up this time.
“Promotion,” you mumbled as you swallowed the food.
“Why didn’t you say anything? You got promoted? And what, now you’re just leaving?” MC exclaimed, leaning in. “When were you gonna tell us?”
You stared at her. “I just did.”
“I know that, genius,” she snapped back. “You know what I meant! Why didn’t you tell us sooner? When are you leaving Linkon?”
“Monday morning.”
MC let out a scandalized scoff. “My best friend is moving away, and she doesn’t even bother to tell me until three days before!”
You shrank in on yourself a little bit. “It’s not that big a deal,” you protested. “You’re always busy with the Hunters’ Association, Caleb is never around - it’s not like we’re going to school together anymore.”
“Well yeah, but I’d at least like to have you close by!” She argued.
Caleb, heretofore quietly watching the argument, let out a sigh. “Do you need help moving?”
“No, one of my cousins offered to help since I’m moving close to him.”
“I can’t believe you!” MC continued. “Why would you just— just disappear? Without saying anything?!”
“Because I can’t do this anymore, okay?” You finally exclaimed, your drink sloshing in your glass as you raised your arms in surrender.
You’d never seen her look so hurt at something you said before. Her lips parted, stunned, but you didn’t give her an inch of room to speak.
“I’ve been living a lie. For years. And I can’t take it anymore.” With another swig of your drink for courage (and because you were shaking so hard from adrenaline that you didn’t want to spill it in your lap), you finally turned to Caleb. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you. And I know— I know my feelings aren’t fair to you, because you can’t help that you only see me as MC’s friend, and they aren’t fair to me either because I’m basically lying to both of you and I don’t want to pretend that I’m your friend when I want to be more than that!”
Your shoulders hunched, breath coming quick, and your eyes stung with moisture. “I’m sorry,” you choked out. “I’m being selfish. But I took the promotion because I don’t want to live like this anymore. I’ve tried so hard to let go of my feelings but I just can’t. I can’t let go of you. And I’m worried it’s going to break us apart.” Swiping your thumb across your bottom lid, you let out a shaky little sigh.
Caleb and MC were unsettlingly silent.
MC, hurt and confused, stared at you while Caleb’s eyes were wide, brows raised, fingers clenched around his untouched glass.
“You— you’re leaving us… because you like my boyfriend?” She whispered.
“This is exactly why I didn’t want to say anything. I knew— I— I knew it would come between us, and I didn’t… want that. You’re my closest friend, MC. You’re my everything. And I don’t want a guy we’ve both been into for our whole lives to be the reason we stop talking altogether.”
“But… I… you…”
“I’d only be hurting myself if I told you about it,” you spoke to Caleb next, giving him a wry, watery smile. “I know we’ve never been close, but… I really did like being around you. And when I leave Linkon, at least she’ll have you.”
“I…” he trailed off, glancing over at MC. “I… don’t think you understand.”
“No, I get it. I do.” Thumbing along your eyelid again, you sniffled. “It’s not like we’ll be a country away or anything. We can still video call, and I can visit during the holidays—”
MC cut you off by throwing her arms around you, tight, head hidden in the juncture of your neck and shoulder.
“You’re not leaving,” she insisted, low and upset.
“MC…”
“No. No, you don’t— you don’t get to do this to me. To us.” She pulled back enough to glare into your face, unshed tears making her eyes glisten. “You don’t get to run away like our feelings don’t matter.”
“What’s done is done. I can’t take back all of the prep I did.”
“You’re not leaving.” She repeated, slow and deliberate.
You turned to Caleb for help, but he merely shook his head.
“I told you,” he responded to your helpless gesture to MC’s tight grip.
“But— I don’t— you can’t just tell me I’m not going,” you snapped. “Why, then? Why can’t I leave?”
“Because we need you here.” MC buried her face in your neck again.
Caleb stood from the opposite couch and made his way over to where you were both sitting. With a flick of his wrist, you were floating in the air, a yelp of surprise leaving you.
When he finally brought you both back down, it was in his lap.
“I guess I hid myself a little too well, huh, Pips?” He chuckled mirthlessly.
“I told you that you were being rude,” she retorted, snuggling in closer.
“I… don’t understand.”
“We know.” Caleb’s arm slunk around your shoulders, and he rested his cheek against yours. “You said you weren’t being fair? Yeah, you weren’t. You didn’t even bother to hear us out first.”
“We’re both in love with you,” MC answered. “So we agreed to share.”
What.
“It took me a long time, but I finally realized I liked you when we were in middle school,” she explained. “You were so smart and so pretty and I… kind of had a crisis about it.”
Well, that explained a lot of her hot-and-cold behavior in your preteen years. She would be clingy and chirpy one day, standoffish and snippy the next - for a long time, you thought it was jealousy. It was only when you were both fourteen that the mood swings lessened and you were close friends again, closer than before.
“I only realized I wanted you when…” he trailed off awkwardly, before trying again, “... uh, when I moved to Skyhaven. When I was recovering from my injuries, I remembered how you always used to worry about me ‘n Pips. I thought of how sad she’d be if something happened to you - and along the way, I started to realize that I wanted to keep you safe too. I can’t imagine our lives without you.”
“But… but you… you’ve never…” You helplessly protested, face burning from the proximity of both. “You never… treated me like you liked me before.”
“That’s why I said you should be nicer,” MC huffed, pinching Caleb’s cheek. “I told you she didn’t realize.”
“I was so focused on you that I didn’t pay attention to Yin.” He answered, appropriately chastised. If he had puppy ears, they’d be droopy. “I’m sorry, by the way. I don’t want you to think I was just tolerating you to be nice.”
He heaved a sigh, face buried in your hair. On your side, MC mimicked his sigh of content, her breath tickling your neck.
You felt quite lightheaded. You sat stock-still, unsure of just what to do.
“Please stay in Linkon,” MC pleaded. “Say no to the promotion. Stay here. With us.”
“I… can’t. I’ve already set everything up.” You replied sullenly. “I’m leaving in three days.”
“Calebbbb,” she groaned, draping herself over you.
“I’ll see what I can do,” he soothed. “If you had the choice to stay here, would you?”
“I… I don’t know. I guess.” You shrugged loosely. “I mean… a big part of the reason was because I thought you didn’t care.”
“Of course I care. We’ve known you for years.” He scoffed, poking your nose. “Silly. Why wouldn’t I care about you? I love MC, yeah, but my heart’s got enough space for you too.”
That warmed your heart somewhat. “Oh.”
“Yeah, ‘oh’.” He mimicked, grinning when you rolled your eyes at him. “C’mon. It’s late and you’ve been drinking. We’re all sleeping here tonight.”
“And in the morning, we’ll figure out what to do about your promotion,” MC pledged with a pinched glance towards you. “No more running away from me.”
“Geez, Pips. You sound more like me than you realize.” Caleb pretended to wipe away a tear. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Shut up! Dummy!” She huffed, hugging you closer. “She was mine first! Gals before pals, pal!”
“Yeah, but she liked me first!” He teased. “Didn’t you?”
“W- was I that obvious?” You spluttered.
“About as subtle as a ball through a window.” He replied with a smile.
You covered your face, groaning low as the two of them shifted to more easily hold you in the middle.